The sound of hooves softly echoes through the seemingly endless rows of trees. The earth below begins to tremble as the echo grows louder. An orange blur speeds through the orchard, making a beeline towards a monster. This monster, however, is not a beast from the Everfree forest, nor is it an otherworldly being. It isn't even Discord out for his Secret Sunday Stroll away from the Canterlot sculpture garden and the all-seeing eyes of the Princesses.
It is a tree. An apple tree to be precise.
But it's no ordinary apple tree. It is the most rotund apple tree you will ever see in your life.
While it is no taller than any other tree in the orchard, the trunk reigns in at fifteen feet wide. It is scarred by countless hoof prints, ranging from the most petite of sizes to ones that would crush full coconuts with ease.
Right now, hooves that would measure right in the middle are screaming right towards it. The ground shaking almost in absolute terror as the rest of the pony the hooves are attached to has its target set on the awaiting, imposing opponent.
The orange blur stopped on a dime and suddenly reared around. Blonde hair went twirling around and dust kicked up as two hooves reared back and became cocked, locked and ready to fire. Time seemed to stop as those two hovering hooves stared down the tree. The tree stared back, awaiting what the hooves had to bring.
Then, in a split second, the two hooves were launched right into the side of the tree. The earth trembled as a loud CRACK filled the air.
Birds everywhere in a five mile radius sprang from their nests and took to the air. Fluttershy flew into a panic as her bird chorus suddenly flew out of class. Rainbow Dash had to suddenly avoid a flock of sparrows that took to the skies from the Everfree as she was tending to the local weather.
Celestia herself turned, faced her open balcony window and pondered, "What in my name was that noise!?"
As the shot heard 'round Equestria softly died down, we return to the scene of the crime. A stubborn apple tree, who once again has failed to drop any of its crop, and a just as stubborn pony who fails to realize that it will take something a lot stronger than her two special weapons, Kicks McGee and Bucky McGillycuddy, to get that tree to shake any of the apples off of it.
"Awwww CONSARN IT, PAUL!!!" Screams the orange pony, "This is the fifth day in a row you're giving me trouble. Now what in Equestria will it take me TO BUCK THOSE APPLES OUT OF YOU!?"
"Applejack? You're still out here?"
Enter a second, smaller pony. With a red mane, olive coat and a pink bow, she stands out well in the acres upon acres of brown and green orchards. Applejack is panting, giving the bulky tree the evil eye through eyes racked with stress.
"Sis, it's almost Four in the afternoon! I thought Granny told ya to quit it with Paul no later than Two. You know how unbearable the sun gets out here this time'a year."
Applejack takes the stetson off her head, wipes her brow of sweat then proceeds to put the hat back on as she then turns to her little sister. Slight bags could be seen under her eyes as she smiles a tired smile.
"Oh, hey Apple Bloom. Yeah, I was just 'bout to call it today, anyway. Paul ain't about to give up the goods no matter what I try."
"When Big Mac couldn't get the job done doing his personal Sunday best, I doubt there's any chance you can get it done."
Applejack raises an eyebrow, gunning her sister down with a look of annoyance. Apple Bloom sunk down.
"Um... no offense?"
Applejack frowned and sighed, "Oh, it's all right Apple Bloom. I'm just tired, is all."
"Well, Granny told me to tell you that she wanted the barrels of leftover cider in the cellar taken care of. She wants there to be room for the Zap Apple Jam bottles for when me and her finish it up this week."
"Now wait just a goldurn minute! I thought that was gonna be Big Macintosh's job!"
"He's still stuck in Baltimare! The train he was supposed ta take back to Ponyville derailed coming out of Fillydelphia. He won't be back in Ponyville until tomorrow at the earliest... oh. Yeah, I came out here to tell ya that too, hehe" she chuckled nervously.
"Ugh, fine. Just the one big barrel left in the cellar, right?"
"Yep!"
"Alright. You head back and tell Granny that I'm on it and I'll take care of that cider."
The two ponies began their trek back to the farmstead. The large foe that remained behind them stood silently once more, awaiting the next challenger that dared to threaten his stock of apples.
The old wooden double doors creaked open, and then gave quite the clatter as they opened all the way out. Applejack walked down the dusty cellar stairs, carrying a lantern along with her so she could navigate her way to the remaining barrel of cider that the Apples had stored from the now-infamous cider battle they had with the Flim Flam Brothers.
A fine layer of soot has gathered on the ground. It has been a while now since anypony was down here. The remaining cider is in their largest barrel they keep around: the one just as wide as Applejack was tall.
She approached the barrel after setting the lantern up on a hook, giving sufficient light to the rest of the cellar. She looked the barrel over, and after kicking off the blocks tried to roll it over to the cellar door.
Alas, it was too heavy.
"Darn it," she thought, "How am I gonna get this hulkin' think out of here? It's too full of cider to move! Now how do I dispose of some of..."
It then clicked on like a light bulb in her head. It's cider. Just drink some of the stuff!
"Heh, wow, I've worked too hard today. So hard that I could use a drink now, could I?"
She walked to the front of the barrel and searched for the spout. She found it at the lowest point and positioned herself under it.
"Just enough to make the barrel more maneuverable. I can't go the rest of the day all tipsy-turvey now, can I?"
And with her right hoof, she slowly turned the handle on the spout and opened her mouth. The golden liquid came gushing out from the formidable barrel, and down her gullet. Applejack's eyes bulged slightly as the torrent of cider surprised her.
She could feel the liquid refreshment cool her worked muscles and ease off the tension. She felt like she could be in Cloudsdale right now and she wouldn't know the difference. She became lost in a frosty dreamscape, memories of winters past flew by her and seemed to erode away the current worries of the summertime.
All the while though, back in reality, she failed to notice that her belly was swelling. All the bubbly cider has to go somewhere. A muffled gurgle came from within as her body began to widen to accommodate the frothy alcohol that was pouring in by the gallon.
She was snapped out of her wintery wonderland as her body made a mumbled groan. Applejack glanced down from the ceiling of the cellar to her own body.
Any other mare, nay, any other pony would have been in shock at what they would have witnessed. Their body ballooning outwards at a stunning rate with no end in sight? They would have gone straight for the panic button.
However, if they were being filled with Apple Family-brand Cider, the story may be different.
Because it is for Applejack.
Instead of panicking and trying to get to her hooves and find help, Applejack simply took her free hoof and began rubbing her blimping stomach, easing in the unruly, bubbly cider. Her mind was not as calm, but still far calmer than anypony else would have been in the situation.
Why? Because Applejack always did have a problem managing her alcohol intake. She was in total Lala Land, riding the wave of euphoric drunkenness. All this was in her mind was a minor inconvenience, and nothing more.
She continued rubbing her stomach as the rest of her began to pump up as well. Her thighs and buttocks swelled, allowing for the cider's natural carbonation to better find space to camp in. Her legs, both fore and back began to sag slightly as the liquid continued to find a new home in her body. Her cheeks, which were already resembling a chipmunks face stocked full of nuts, were now almost comically massive in comparison from before.
The creaks and groan, unfortunately, did not cease. The cellar sharply echoed back any noises her body produced, thanks to the simple plain cement walls.
Applejack removed her right hoof from the spout's handle and now both of them were rubbing her ballooning body. Her face felt like it was ablaze, she was so hammered. On dream street with no brakes, she was riding a euphoric trance that had only one ending as it was, and it was not going to be pretty.
It got worse as her back began to swell, pushing her upwards into the spout and pinning her between the floor and the gushing barrel. She was snapped from her trance as her front teeth tapped lightly against the metal nozzle. She lazily looked down at the orange blimp that was her body, yet continued to rub it without a care in the world.
"Hummm... getting full.... might be time... time to stop..."
She felt the gas bellow inside of her. Every time it tried to charge out it was doused by another gallon or so of cider going the other way. She didn't care. She didn't care about a lot of things right now.
"Mmmmuh... okay... okay... I think I've... I've had... enough..."
She attempted to reach for the nozzle... yet she couldn't.
She tried again. Same result.
"... Wuh-huh?"
Turning her head, she suddenly realized why.
She had swelled up so large that her forelegs were starting to be swallowed by her ballooned body.
Now the panic sets in.
She starts to flail her stubby appendages that have almost been swallowed up by her spherical body. She tries to scream but the only sound she makes is a muffled gurgle. The groaning and creaking is now rather loud.
It dawns on her. She's stuck.
She's going to explode.
She tries to think back as to how this could have gone wrong. Her mind is more foggy than a brisk morning on the Vanhoover coast. Applejack thinks back to her brother Mac, her sister, her Granny, her friends... is it really going to end like this?
The pressure mounts at an alarming rate. Her innards feel stressed to the point almost of no return. The churning, bubbling liquid becoming more and more aggravated as space quickly dwindles down to nothing.
She shuts her eyes, awaiting the bang that will be the end of her life when...
*squeak squeak squeak!*
It stops. Everything.
The swelling, the groaning of her body, the cider flowing.
Silence.
"... uhhuh?"
She slowly opens one eye... expecting the pearly gates to be before her.
Instead, it's the familiar sight of a pink bow, a red mane, a pale, light olive coat and two orange eyes peering upside-down at her, in absolute shock with a slight hint of disgust.
"What in tarnation are ya doing!?"
"Ohohoh, uh... hey Apple Bloom..."
"Ya DRANK the whole barrel!?! Are ya CRAZY!??"
"Now now- *urp*" said Applejack as she stifled a burp, "Not the... WHOLE barrel, mind you."
Apple Bloom trotted over to the barrel and gave it a quick buck. Surely enough, a light slosh emanated from the inside, but as it started to roll to the far corner wall of the cellar, it was obvious that the large cider hold was nowhere near as full as it once was.
"It might as well have been. Gosh almighty sis... what did you do to yerself?!"
Apple Bloom put her two fore hooves onto the bulbous body of her older sister and attempted to roll her over. It went slowly, but she succeeded after about a minute of grunting and straining. Apple Bloom went over next to where the barrel used to sit and grabbed her sister's Stetson that fell off sometime during the whole ordeal. She put it onto her sister's head, which was now nestled nicely in between her stubby forelegs that have been absorbed by her inflated body. Apple Bloom noticed the silliest smile on Applejack's rounded face.
*Hic*
"Aw great. Yer drunk too?"
"Well App-*hic*-le Bloom, it sure wasn't soda pop I was drinkin'..."
"Ugh, just please try to keep yer wits about ya fer the time being. I'm gonna go get some rope from the barn so I can try and haul ya outta here."
"M'kay... Y'all come *hic* back now~"
As Apple Bloom left the cellar in mild disgust, Applejack took the time to observe her surroundings from this new perspective, albeit while everything was spinning. She tried to move her extremities but found it near impossible to do anything with them. The barrel of her body now stretched out beyond the length of her sunken legs, making walking an unreachable feat.
Since mobility was unattainable, she sighed, let out another hiccup and laid still while the cider inside her made the slow churns through her system.
"Well... at least it's kinda cozy being like this..."
*Hic*
*Hic*
*Bup*
The pleasantness suddenly faded as a wave of pressure suddenly made the charge up her esophagus. She did her best to contain it and did, yet a roaring belch still came out of the pony's little mouth. Her already blushing red face from the alcohol now burned an even darker shade from embarrassment. The pressure went away and the pleasant feeling of relaxation returned.
Apple Bloom returned, rope in mouth, ready to try and wrangle her sister up the stairs. They tying process was somewhat complicated, but not unlike roping up a hay bale or a stray barrel. All Apple Bloom really had to deal with was Applejack's now-constant giggling with the rope tickling her body.
"Grrr, Applejack, this AIN'T making this any easier!"
"Heheh- I'm *hic* sorry! I can't he-*hic*-lp it! Haha!"
With the tying finished, Apple Bloom took the lead in her mouth and started dragging her older sister towards the stairs. Applejack's body continued making slow, muffled glunks and gurgles as the two ponies slowly but surely made their way to the staircase. As Apple Bloom began heading up the stairs, Applejack's hiccups became increasingly mixed with soft burps as the cider was obviously becoming more agitated inside her pressurized body.
"*Hic* Hey um... Apple Bl-*urp*-oom, ya think ya can slow do-*hic*-wn a bit? I don't feel so *hic* good *bup*."
"Sis, if I stop here, you'll roll back down the stairs and all this progress would've been wasted!"
"Uhhh... *urp*"
"AJ, we're almost- oh..."
Apple Bloom turned back to Applejack to see that the ropes tied around her sister were now beginning to cut into her blimp of a body. The cider may have stopped flowing, but the carbonation still remained. The trek halfway up the stairs shook her sister's body up like a beehive, and the gas inside her was the bees, angrily looking for a way out. Applejack continued swelling like before, this time without a valve to turn off.
"Apple *hic* Bloom, get out of he-*burp*-re! I'm gonna *bup* blow!"
"Now wait sis! I can-"
"DON'T ARGUE! *BURP*-GO!"
Apple Bloom dropped the rope with wide eyes and her rounded sister rolled back down into the cellar. She ran off towards the house, calling for help.
Applejack was back in the position she was before... upside down and growing without an end in sight. The rope tied around her began to hurt. Applejack clinched her eyes shut, not wanting to see the resulting explosion that is inevitably coming. As the groaning reached a breaking point, she suddenly felt a familiar feeling, one she had just minutes ago...
"Now... what do ya mean yer sister is about to explode?"
Granny Smith was sitting upstairs in her bedroom in a rocking chair, toying around with her favorite pair of knitting needles. She was in the middle of knitting a sweater for Apple Bloom when she came rushing in.
"GRANNY! She drank that whole barrel of cider that was in the cellar! She was as big as a wagon! I tried to drag her out of there, but I only made it worse! She's gonna pop!"
The old mare sighed and got up from her chair, "Come on, let's hunker here under the door frame."
'Wait, what!? Granny? Are we gonna do anything to help Applejack!?"
"Nope, don't worry your little bow-tied head. This thing tends to solve itself."
Apple Bloom was flabbergasted. Was Granny seriously just going to let her oldest granddaughter explode in a shower of pony chunks and cider?
As the two hunkered down in the door frame, an earthquake suddenly arose out of nowhere. Apple Bloom put her two forelegs over her head, preparing for the end when all of a sudden...
*BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURAP*
The loudest belch she had ever heard erupted from the cellar.
Like earlier in the day, birds all across Ponyville took flight to the skies in panic. Rainbow Dash once again had to avoid a large flock as she was tending to a small, lone cumulus cloud. Fluttershy decided to just cancel class for the day since there was little to no progress in her choir group. Celestia walked out to her balcony and surveyed the landscape. Running in from his post was Shining Armor.
"Princess! Did you hear that!? What in Equestria was-"
"Oh, calm down, Shining. It's nothing that should concern you."
"Er ... really, your highness?"
"It's just the Apples. Somepony got a little too into their own product again, it seems. It's been a while since I've heard a belch of that magnitude."
Shining took off his helmet and trotted over next to Celestia, as perplexed as ever, "That... was a burp? Seriously?"
Celestia laughed softly, "While their apple cider may be the best in Equestria, it can be rather over-carbonated at times."
It turns out that it can be a common problem for ponies to overindulge in the Apple family cider. Granny Smith knew this. She had done it herself once before, in her youth. There never really is any threat of a pony drinking too much cider and exploding. The pony body knows when to expel the gas naturally when there is too much in their system. The only real side effect of the over-indulgence is a major case of water-retention. The eventual Ursa Major-sized hangover is a problem, too, but the water-retention can last for several days if not actively treated.
It's now two days since then. Applejack had recovered. Mostly. She got a stern taking to from Granny about drinking while working, and when Big Macintosh got back to the farm he had a couple good laughs, both at her sister's misfortune and her still semi-bloated figure.
Applejack was slowly walking, or I guess in this case, waddling out into the apple grove again. Her once athletic body did not look fit at all. Her flanks were puffed out, her barrel still relatively swollen, her legs considerably wider than normal, and her face, specifically her cheeks, was still rounded out.
She was not a happy pony. She wanted to take her frustrations out on something.
That's where Paul, the stubborn and rotund apple tree came in.
"Okay Paul," huffed Applejack as she approached the tree, "You don't wanna play fair? That just fine. I won't play fair, either."
She turned around, and slowly sped up into a gallop. Her puffy body wasn't as cooperative as her normal body, but maybe, just maybe, the extra momentum can give Paul a thing or two to think about. She stopped about thirty yards from Paul. Got herself into position.
"Let's see if an extra fifty pounds of Applejack will change your tune."
And took off.
Her hoof steps rumbled throughout the grove. What was a small blur a couple of days ago was now a very large blur, tearing through the air towards the awaiting tree. The tree, once proud and immovable, was now trembling as he saw the large pony flying towards him. He could do nothing, as he was a tree, and only await the coming buck.
Once Applejack got into range, she stopped her gallop and turned, rearing up her meaty rear end and locking back her two favorite weapons. The added weight of her body continued the force through her hind legs as she unleashed a massive buck. Probably the strongest buck of her entire life.
*KRAKA-BOOM*
Every tree for fifty yards immediately shed their apples from their branches. A cascade of red and green showered the grove as Applejack was panting loudly. She was exhausted in only one buck, but it was probably the one buck she put the most effort into ever.
She set her two rear legs back on the ground as she looked up to admire her handiwork. Sure enough, Paul was finally dropping his crop. Applejack's huffing and panting slowed as she took off her stetson and wiped her brow with a foreleg. A proud smile crept across her face as she looked around the rest of the grove.
"Heh. So that's that, I guess. Boy howdy, I could use some cider right about now."
