Will the real Pinkie Pie please stand up?

Chapters

We're gonna have a problem?

We're gonna have a problem?

This is a parody, made only for the purpose of entertainment, and to get this idea out of my head and onto paper. The original song is The Real Slim Shady by Eminem. The pony singing it is Pinkie Pie.

May I have your attention please?

Will the real pink pony please stand up?

I repeat...

Will the real pink pony PLEASE stand up?

We're gonna have a problem here.

Y'all act like you never seen an earth pony before

Jaws all on the floor like Celly and Luna just burst in the door

And started banishing ponies just like before

There was Chrysalis, Discord, Sombra (Crystals)

It's the return of the..."What, no way, you're kidding,

I didn't just get exiled again did I?"

And Dr. Hooves said... Nothing you idiots!

Doctor Hooves's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)

Feminist ponies love Pinkie Pie

(twitcha twitcha twitcha)

"Pinkie Pie, I'm sick of her

Look at her, hoppin around gabbin 'bout you-know-what

Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but she's so fun though"

Yeah, I probably got a little Screwball up in my head loose

But no worse, than what goes on in your parents bedrooms

Sometimes, I wanna throw a party and just let loose, but can't

But it's cool for Luna to blow your ears loose

"My plot is on your lips, my plot is on your lips"

And if you're lucky I might let you give it a little kiss

And that's the message that we deliver to little foals

And expect them not to know what a mare's clitoris is

Of course they gonna know about what estrus is

By the time they hit the fourth grade

They got Animal Planet don't they?

"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals

Who cut other ponies open like cantaloupes [slurp]

But if we can hump dead animals and cantaloupes

Then there's no reason that a mare and another mare can't elope[EWW!]

But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote

Ponies shake your hoove things, here's the chorus let's sing

'Cause I'm Pink Pony, yes I'm the real Pony

All you other Pink Ponies are just a buncha phonies

So won't the real Pink Pony please stand up,,

Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Pink Pony, yes I'm the real Pony

All you other Pink Ponies are just a buncha phonies

So won't the real Pink Pony please stand up,,

Please stand up, please stand up?

Vinyl Scratch don't gotta cuss in her songs to sell records;

Well I do, so fuck her, and fuck you too!

You think I give a damn about a Grammy

Half of you ponies can't even stomach me, let alone stand me

"But Pinkie, what if you win, wouldn't it be odd?"

Why? so you ponies could just lie and lead me on?

So you can, sit me here next to Sapphire Shores?

Shit, Fleur de Lis better switch me chairs

So I can sit next to Fancy Pants and Spitfire

And hear 'em argue over who they think's the bigger liar

You little bitch, report my life across Equestria

"Yeah, she's cute, but she's a bigger queer than Rainbow, ha-ha!"

I should put my voice on a big CD

And show the whole world how I'm straight as an arrow [ARGH!]

I'm sick of you little colt and filly groups, all you do is annoy me

So I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]

And there's a million ponies just like me

Who cuss like me; who just don't give a buck like me

Who dress like me; trot, talk and act like me

And just might be be the next best thing but not quite me!

'Cause I'm Pink Pony, yes I'm the real Pony

All you other Pink Ponies are just a buncha phonies

So won't the real Pink Pony please stand up,,

Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Pink Pony, yes I'm the real Pony

All you other Pink Ponies are just a buncha phonies

So won't the real Pink Pony please stand up,,

Please stand up, please stand up?

I'm like a body high you look at, 'cause I’m only given that

Thing you joke about with your friends inside your living room

The only difference I got the balls to say it

In front of y'all and I hardly even sugarcoat it at all

I just get on the mic and spit it

And whether you wanna admit it [err] I just shit it

Cooler than twenty percent of you rappers out can

Then wonder how your fillies eat up these albums like valiums

It’s funny; 'cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm ninety

I'll be the only pony in the nursing home flirting

Pinching the doctor's asses when I'm touchin it and twerkin

And I'm riding 'em but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working

And every single pony is a Pinkie Pie lurkin

She could be workin at some deli chain, spittin on your fries again [HOCK]

Or in a chariot, circling

Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"

With some heavy ass bass turned up

So will the real Pinkie please stand up?

And put one of those finger things on her hand up?

And be proud outta your mind and outta control

And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

'Cause I'm Pink Pony, yes I'm the real Pony

All you other Pink Ponies are just a buncha phonies

So won't the real Pink Pony please stand up,,

Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Pink Pony, yes I'm the real Pony

All you other Pink Ponies are just a buncha phonies

So won't the real Pink Pony please stand up,,

Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Pink Pony, yes I'm the real Pony

All you other Pink Ponies are just a buncha phonies

So won't the real Pink Pony please stand up,

Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Pink Pony, yes I'm the real Pony

All you other Pink Ponies are just a buncha phonies

So won't the real Pink Pony please stand up,

Please stand up, please stand up?

Ha ha

Guess there's a Pinkie Pie in all of us

Fuck it, let's all stand up