A True History of Equestria, and More Sex
“Once upon a time, in the beautiful land of Equestria, there were two sisters. Two. Not just one. Too many ponies forgot that. All the time.
These two sisters had a hell of a lot of things going for them. For one, they were pretty much royalty; essentially, that meant they could do whatever they wanted to. Which they did. A lot.
The majority of the time, for some reason, that meant ruling the country. The beautiful, much more intelligent, and also younger sister had always been pretty convinced this was a waste of time, since no one even noticed them. Or at least no one noticed her.
Clearly, this meant their subjects were idiots. And nopony wanted to rule over idiots.”
To her intense pleasure, the mare beneath her did not cease her ministrations. Nor did she laugh, or cry, or beg, or whine, or even look away. “It was, all in all, a very good story, if she had to say so herself. And she did say so herself, because she was one of the princesses. The younger one, who was much, much prettier, if it had to even be said.”
To Luna’s displeasure, the mare beneath her didn’t acknowledge the story she had so masterfully told. Briefly the Princess wondered if she had been too subtle. She was a master of subtlety, and many other things, and it was possible the true meaning of her tale - entirely unlike her tail - had been lost on the unicorn. It was, she thought, best to be sure. Slowly she reached a hoof between her legs and poked her lover on the horn.
“Twilight, are you even listening to me? You never listen to me. Why aren’t you listening to me?”
“Princess, I am-”
“No, don’t stop.” Luna pondered for a moment the myriad complexities of life, the universe, everything, and most importantly sex; and from the mysteries she found in the cosmos, she determined that the most efficient way for Twilight to speak to her without stopping would be to develop telepathy. That was impossible though - not even magic could do that. “Just grunt. One grunt for yes. Two for no. Three for ‘Let’s swap -’
Twilight cut her off with a pointed prod of her sharp horn - and not the kind she had been providing up until that moment, but the bad kind. The kind Luna didn’t admit to liking as much. Luna rolled her eyes. “This is typical of you, you know. All you care about is whether you’re having fun. We can’t do things my way just one time. Why are you so mean to me, Twilight? This is just like Cele -”
A rush of pleasure washed through her and she rethought her words.
“Everything about this except the sex - which I’m not complaining about - is just like Celestia all over again!”
She began stroking Twilight’s horn as she looked through the window at the sky and the sun, from where her sister observed them jealously. She smirked and flipped her inferior elder the hoof, and began her story anew.
“Once upon a time, there was a little purple unicorn named Twilight Sparkle. She was incredibly witty, and also very smart, and the older of the two Princesses liked her a whole lot -”
“Mmmph?” Came the startled groan from the unicorn. She was so inconsiderate. Always interrupting.
“Yes? Yes what? No more interruptions, Twilight Sparkle. I’m telling you a story. As I was saying, the older of the two Princesses likes Twilight Sparkle very much. So much in fact, that she once told the younger sister that she wished to ‘teach her everything under the sun.’ Evidently, Equestria’s ruler had very perverted things in mind for the poor little unicorn, and something had to be done. Fortunately the heroic and much more talented younger sister had managed to protect the - oh, that’s perfect - innocent unicorn from such disturbing advances. And given her much more pleasant and desirable advances.”
At this, Twilight grunted. Not once, or twice, but three times. It was time to swap.
Luna let out a pained sigh. “Already? Ugh. This is so typical of you - I bet you weren’t like this with Celestia. I bet you cared about what she wanted. It’s just take take take with ow. Okay, okay. Sorry. Fine.”
As the Princess began a different sort of ministration to those she’d been doing for the last long, endless chattering hour or so, Twilight brought a hoof to her chin and also pondered the marvels of reality, and most importantly, sex. Then, she saw the sun through the window, where before the had seen only the moon’s flank resting heavily on her aching muzzle. Despite swapping just moments before, she knew it was nearly time.
A thousand years of imprisonment had done nothing to diminish Luna’s talents. If she could ever stop talking, Twilight couldn’t help but think she would be an even better lover than Celestia - not that she would ever tell Celestia that. She wasn’t stupid, after all. But the fact remained that when the pair swapped, they both knew their...fun? Yes. That was close enough. They both knew that their fun would soon end.
The time came, and so did Twilight Sparkle.
As Twilight lay, breath heaving in her chest, the Princess rose to her hooves and smirked down at her, letting the illusion magic fall away. Celestia leaned down, kissed Twilight once on the muzzle, and spoke. “And that is what sex with my sister would be like. Please, please stop asking.”
Just as Twilight was about to offer her opinion on Lunasex, a large purple flash brought six ponies far into the future.
An excited, very high-pitched voice called out, “See, Twilight? See?! I TOLD you this was the right time!”
A softer, more amused voice answered a moment later, “Fluttershy, darling, do try to control yourself this time.”
“Oh...um...but...she’s so...” A soft whimper, and then a whisper tinged with desire. “...Scary.”
Celestia’s grin widened as she turned to face the party of sweat drenched, gorgeous ponies that had just materialised in her bedchambers. “You’re right on time, Twilight Sparkle. I knew sending you to Ponyville would bring my plan full circle.”
She paused, and placed a hoof to her chin.
“I have to admit, I wasn’t expecting you to save Luna as well, but unforeseen benefits are always pleasant.”
Fluttershy still had her wig fetish; Rarity was there, still bald just because. Applejack had brought her lasso this time - lots of fun was about to be had. Pinkie Pie was already covered in whipped cream and candy. Rainbow Dash floated confidently in place, smiling at the new context of ‘Ten Seconds Flat.’ Twilight Sparkle stood staring at Twilight Sparkle, taking in her admittedly awesome flank. And her other qualities. She was pretty sure she had other qualities, even if she couldn’t remember them right now.
After a long, silent pause she shrugged and said what she was pretty sure everypony was thinking.
“So....orgy?”
And then they had sex.
ALL THE SEX.
Years before Twilight Sparkle ever came to Ponyville, a white Unicorn and a yellow Pegasus stared at one another over breakfast. They had met only the day before, but they knew already that they were truly, madly in love. Rarity had said as much, and now stared at her new friend, desperately awaiting a response.
Fluttershy took a step closer. And then another. And another. Soon, she and Rarity were muzzle to muzzle. With no objection from her friend, not a word of neigh, she slowly lifted a hoof and trailed it through her new friends mane - before tugging it away, revealing the truth- Rarity wore a WIG.
Fluttershy liked that. She liked that a lot. “Looks like we’re having pie for breakfast instead.”
The Pink Pony, having materialised in the kitchen at the mention of her name, glanced at the two complete strangers and the wig and bounced into the air with a squeal of “Did somepony say THREESOME!?”
And then they had sex. Right there in Rarity’s kitchen. Somehow, Sweetie Belle and her parents didn’t wake up, and that was good. Because explicit. Totally explicit. And then Rainbow Dash joined in, making it 20% raunchier.
And then Applejack joined in, making it 20% ranchier.
In a flash of purple light, a unicorn appeared in the kitchen, eyes darting around wildly, searching for - there. She knew Pinkie Pie hadn’t been lying about the five-way, even when Fluttershy had tried to deny it. And time itself would not keep her from this.
And then they had sex.
ALL THE SEX.
