Scootaloo and the School of Ghouls

"Happy Three Days Before Hearth's Warming Eve, everyghoul!" Twilight Soulshard beamed merrily from the staff table, a morning after Deathie's unusual class.

"Thanks Ms. Soulshard!" the three mortal, and one-half mortal crusaders called.

However, the rest of the hall remained silent, save for a series of grumbles from the various ghouls sitting about.

"Mph..."

"Date stealers..."

"Sell outs..."

"Pansy, spineless dicks..."

Twilight Soulshard gave a sigh, glancing downward at the green eggs and spoiled jam she was eating.

"Oh come on, everyghoul! Happy Hearth's Warming Eve... er pre-Hearth's Warming Eve... ah-whatever!" Deathie called, though all the while glancing longingly towards Twilight.

"Hmph!" Twilight said, immediately glancing away from her and back towards her food, though with a moping look soon overtaking her agitated one.

"Oh man... those two still haven't made up?" Scootaloo said, glancing at Twilight with a concerned, sympathetic expression.

"It's only been one day," Pipsqueak said, shrugging, before taking a bite of his scrambled eggs. "We just need to-"

"Awwww, but she looks so depressed," Sweetie said, frowning sorrowfully. "And poor Rainbow Death! She looks like she's trying so hard..."

"Hmmm, and Twilight’s got a conflict of interest, it seems," Apple Bloom stated. "On one hoof she's angry at Deathie, but on another hoof ain't it always Rainbow who's trying to help push our side's ways over here?"

"Yeah!" Scootaloo squeaked, before narrowing her eyes."We should totally do something! We should try to get them back together!"

"Errrr," Apple Bloom said, holding up a hoof. "Didn't we try that before only for it to go horribly wrong?"

Pipbossa raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong with something going horribly wrong?"

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes, giving him a blank look soon after. "'Horribly wrong' ain't a good thing in the land of light."

"Ooooooooohhhhh," Pipbossa said, nodding, before whispering towards Pipsqueak, "Why's it a bad thing again?"

"They ended up using a love potion that almost got two blokes married that shouldn't have been," Pipsqueak whispered back, Pipbossa giving a nod of understanding, his eyes narrowing.

"Mmmm... sounds like something a certain Siren might try to pull on someghoul," he grunted, glaring Princess Congeria's way, Shadowed Armor strangely absent from her side unlike the previous morning.

"Anyway," Sweetie said, smirking towards Scootaloo and Apple Bloom. "That was a different story. That was us trying to bring two ponies together, not bringing two ghouls back together! I mean, come on! Those two are perfect for each other! Rainbow's brash but secretly sensitive, and might give Twilight the assertive quality she wouldn't normally have while still not going over the top. And Twilight is book smart and has common sense to boot, and might hold her back when she needs it. And both are chill enough to able to take more extreme qualities of each other!"

"Mmmm, except now ya' mean," Apple Bloom sighed, glancing their way.

"That's just cus Deathie went too far, and Shadowed really egged her on, the prick," Sweetie stated. "She won't do it again, I bet."

Pipsqueak raised an eyebrow. "But Twilight’s a Lich... doesn't she... defy death? Wouldn't that tick Deathie off?"

"Maybe, but in the end, I don't think Deathie cares that much," Sweetie said, gesturing back towards the staff table.

True to her words, Deathie was currently plucking a muffin off Twilight's plate with her scythe, obviously in an attempt to get her attention in a playful prank, as the conniving smirk on her face would indicate. However, Twilight was not so amused. With a growl, she quickly slapped the muffin off the blade, shooting a glare Deathie's way before folding her arms. Deathie then gave a sigh, glancing down at her own plate with broken black eyes.

"Ugh, you're right, this sucks so hard!" Apple Bloom grumbled. "Sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks! We have to do something! A little intervention from the other side!"

"But we don't even know them!" Pipsqueak argued. "They aren't our Twilight and Rainbow Dash."

"Yeah, but they're so much like them, and Lichy Twilight really did us a huge favor by letting us come here," Sweetie retorted, a defeated look coming upon Pipsqueak's face.

"And you know girls; just because we're stuck in the Nightmare Realm doesn't mean we have to give up our quest for a Cutie Mark..." Scootaloo grinned.

"Are you thinkin'... what I'm thinkin'?" Apple Bloom smirked mischievously.

The three Crusaders nodded towards each other.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS UNDEAD ROMANCE COUNSELERS!"

The ghouls about them quickly raised a series of eyebrows, the three quickly simpering in response.

"Mmmm... yeah..." Pipsqueak groaned, rolling his eyes. "I think I'm going to stay out of this one, trial Crusader or not. Er, no offense."

Scootaloo gave him a grunt. "Fine... if that's what you want." She then gave a smirk. "Chicken."

"Hey! I'm not chicken! It's just I haven't... done my homework yet!" he coughed, before turning towards Pipbossa and whispering, "Er... ya feel like hanging out for a bit before our ten o'clock? What do you ghouls do for fun around here?"

Pipbossa gave him a wicked grin. "Oh, we got a few things aside from the new mortal stuff that’s been becomin’ a hit. Come with me, laddy. I got somethin' that'll make ya scream," he said, gesturing for Pipsqueak to follow him, the latter giving a gulp as the two trotted away.

"Pfffft, whatever, we don't need em'," Apple Bloom grunted. "Besides, he's a boy! He ain't sensitive enough for this kind of thing!"

"Yeah but... we don't really know what we're doing, either," Sweetie grumbled with a sigh. "I think we should get some advice this time."

"But from who?" Scootaloo said.

"Hmmmmm," Sweetie said, tapping her chin, a smile slowly forming on her face. "Well... we don't have the Princess of Love at our disposal..." She then glanced at Princess Congeria, her smile widening. "But we do have the next best thing."

☼☼☼

"Is there something I can help you with, sou-sweethearts?" Princess Congeria asked in a neutral tone, finishing up the last of her breakfast, her blue sapphires for eyes twinkling. Luckily, both Deathie and Twilight had sauntered off their two separate ways at this point.

"Er yeah," Sweetie said, scratching the back of her head nervously. "Well uh... sorry to bother you and everything-"

"It's alright, dear. I'm just finishing up now... though I do have a class to teach in an hour or so," Congeria said patiently. “However, don’t ever be afraid to come to me if you need help. I am your house’s leader, after all.”

Apple Bloom shook her head in disbelief, her eyebrows squinted as she whispered to Scootaloo, "Wow... she seems so… nice… how the heck did she marry Shadowed Armor?"

The vampony gave a shrug. "Mmmm... maybe he has a secret, sensitive side or something."

Apple Bloom lifted an eyebrow, glancing towards the scowling head of Princess Trollestia, it perched atop a blue, glowing pike nearby. “Yep… uh huh…”

"But yeah, uh... we were just wondering if you could give us some advice on... love," Sweetie said to her in a hope filled tone.

Princess Congeria gave a devious smirk. "Ah... love, hm?  Perhaps you’ve come to the right Siren." She then gave a wink. "After a certain sailor, by any chance, or pirate I should say? Hehe, I once knew his father, if that's the case. He was quite the fighter," she smirked. "If you want to win his son's heart,  I can certainly relate. I have a certain... affinity for all those who dare, I mean uh... like to tread upon my waters...."

"Er... yeah," Sweetie gulped, her wary look becoming all the more wary. "Well... it's sort of like that. We're actually trying to get two ghouls back together."

Princess Congeria gave an amused chuckle.

"Oh, that's no worry, for you see, mending two hearts or molding them together in first place is a remarkably similar process," she stated, her eyes still twinkling as wicked smirk came upon her. "All it takes is the right... song, actually." She then gave an evil chuckle, a strange, almost competitive look overtaking her. "In fact, the only ghoul my songs have never charmed happens to be... my husband."

Scootaloo lowered her eyebrows, hiding a suspicious glance at the Siren Queen. She quickly shrugged off her thoughts however, before clearing her throat and saying:

"H-Have any good songs that can help get two ghouls back together, though?"

"In fact, I do," Princess Congeria beamed.

“Oooo! Can you sing it for us?” Sweetie said in a somewhat excited tone, smiling.

Princess Congeria shrugged.

"Eh, why not? It’s been a while since I’ve stretched my vocal chords.” She then cleared her throat. “Anyway, a relationship currently in a stormy sea... where a sailor thinks he's getting free... can be countered with a simple song from thee. Allow me to elaborate…"

At that, the Siren Princess took a deep breath before singing in a haunting, but soothing melody:

"Come with me,

And you'll be,

In a world of pure imagination.

If it's not your inclination,

It'll be my proclamation.

Tell of me,

All you see,

Of hardship on the ocean's breeze.

Ever think you could find?

What your heart sings for on a dime?

Why do you run,

When there can be such fun,

Where the thunder shows its guns?

What ghoul ever fears?

Why quake when you draw near?

Come back to me...

Come back to me...

Little sailor not so ever free.

You can't run from what you need,

You can't run from my seas..."

Congeria then took a deep breath, smiling nostalgically, the three Crusaders looking upon her with baffled expressions.

"Er uhh," Scootaloo coughed. "It was... interesting."

"It was beautiful," Sweetie said, clapping her hooves in glee, though still with a slightly unnerved expression on her. "Though the lyrics... it's just uh... kind of a joke, right?"

Congeria blinked in surprise, before putting on a smile, nodding. "Oh yes... of course." She then took a deep breath. "But the point is: singing songs always works for me... so perhaps if one of those in the couple having a hardship is willing... maybe you can get them to sing the other a song as well? It may not have my... magic to it. Though sometimes I think that music has a magical quality of its own. As long as it isn't written by Justin Beaver."

"What about Horsey Dave Mathews Band, though?" Sweetie asked.

"And especially not Horsey Dave Mathews band," Congeria stated. "Even us ghouls shiver at the sound of that. But anyway, give it a shot, but only as a last resort. Good luck, my little minions of love!"

"Thanks Princess!" Sweetie beamed.

"Yeah, this should totally work!" Scootaloo smiled.

"You're welcome, dears," she said, smiling warmly. However, she soon held up a hoof, closing eyes for a second. "But remember, only use it as a last resort. Sometimes, all a relationship needs is-"

When she opened her eyes, the three Crusaders were already making their way out of the hall, giggling.

"Time," she blinked. She then sighed, before before sinking back into her chair. "Oh my..."

☼☼☼

It didn't take long for the Crusaders to find Rainbow Death. She was at the entrance to the great school, a massive arch-way sitting before a great set of stone stairs that led down a brilliant, shimmering hill of white. Due to the acoustics, her blues guitar could be heard echoing through it a mile away, as well as her actually somewhat decent, though sorrowful singing voice.

"They say there is a secret chord,

That you can play to play to bring the lord,

To fix any wrong that you've brought to ya.

For I truly went and heard the call,

Of the one thing that could make me bare this job,

Of ripping souls away before their Hallelujah..."

Hallelujah...

Hallelujah...

Hallelujah...

Haleluja-"

"Hey Rainbow Death!" Scootaloo called, trotting up to her.

"Oh...  hey, Scootaloo," she sniffed, glancing away from her. "How are your classes coming? Ya having fun at Bogmorts?"

"Well, it's been uh... interesting so far," Scootaloo smiled.

"Oh... well, that's good to hear, if you mean 'interesting' in the way I hope you do," she said, forcing a smile, before glancing at Sweetie and Apple Bloom. "How about you two, are you getting along well?"

'Mmmhm," Sweetie beamed. "My first magic class was a blast! Even if uh... I'm a little iffy about dark magic."

"And Zehorra says I could be a natural at potion making!" Apple Bloom chirped merrily.

"That's good," Rainbow nodded, sniffing again. "Very good..."

"Listen uh..." Sweetie said.

"We've kind of seen what's been happening between you and Twilight..." Apple Bloom said.

"And we want to help!" Scootaloo beamed.

Rainbow took a deep breath, forcing a smile. "Thanks... but no thanks. There's no helping me," she sighed sorrowfully. "I was a fool for thinking I could ever be in a relationship. I have no idea what I'm doing... My only romance should be with the dead... in a totally non-creepy way." She then gave an indignant grunt. "Besides, Twilight's been making me soft lately, anyway."

Suddenly, she stamped a hoof, black sparks flickering from her black holes for eyes as she roared with a demonic pitch:

"I am the Grim Reaper! I should not pity the souls who have passed, and I should not be in a relationship with she who defies death in the way she did! There is no greater sin than returning from paradise! It is unnatural! Unnatural, I say! Even for a ghoul!"

There was a thunder crack as she ended, a lightning bolt suddenly sailing horizontally from the distant horizon, cascading into her scythe and giving it an eerie, red glow.

"B-But it wasn't Twilight's choice, was it?" Sweetie squeaked, the three Crusaders now backing away from Death, shivering.

"She had a say in it," Deathie grumbled, gripping her blues guitar and beginning to play the same damned song.

The three Crusaders glanced at each other at that, unconvinced.

"L-Look, you're really good with that guitar or yours," Scootaloo squeaked. "Maybe you could... try writing a song for Twilight? To show her how much you care! Like a Hearth's Warming Eve gift!"

"A Hearth's Warming Eve gift…" she chuckled darkly. "Don't even talk to me about that holiday. Bunch of sell-outs... What's so heartwarming about perpetual shopping, materialism, and receiving whatever stupid thing you asked for? It isn't caring, it's robotic. It's like a stupid obligation for parents and lovers to get each other crap when they could just buy it for themselves... that's all it is."

"There's more to Hearth's Warming Eve than that, Rainbow," Scootaloo grumbled. "And getting presents from people always feels nice. Even if it's stuff you didn't want. And either way, it would mean something to Twilight…" She then turned towards the other Crusaders, glancing at them as if she were looking for confirmation. “Right, girls?”

"Er, right..."

"Yeah, definitely! I think..."

At that, a sudden hopeful look came to Rainbow Death as she squinted an eyebrow. "Well... I mean... do you really think it will work?"

"Of course!" the three beamed.

Deathie's eyes narrowed, as she began to nod to herself, a smile slowly creeping over her face. "Well… alright... alright... You know, I think I already have a song in mind, too!" She then gave a grin. "Thanks you three, I think this might actually work! Just got chill for a bit... I'll take care of the rest."

"Will do, Rainbow!" Scootaloo smiled, leading the three Crusaders away.

“Awwww man, this is going to be so sweet,” Sweetie beamed, before glancing at her blank flank. “And I bet you that this is it!”