The 4th Tribe

I and Big mac were walking up to the farm for whatever I was supposed to do. I really hadn’t gotten a good look at the devastation that we had caused during our crusade to kill the evil pumpkins. I stopped and looked around. There was no sign of anything massive random lightning storms, OR any random pumpkin attacks had ever happened. It looked normal and beautiful. The apple trees seemed to go on forever, man I should ask Big Mac just how big this place is.

“Hey Mac, just how big is Sweet Apple Acers?” I asked, motioning my arms towards the massive apple farm. He chuckled slowly.

“We own around 600 aces” HOLY CRAP

“And just you and AJ run it?”  I said amazed He nodded and stood up a little bit straighter. I guess he takes pride in his work.

“Well, mah pa and ma used to help on the farm, but…” He stopped and seemed to get a little bit teary eyed. Guess I touched a bad nerve… MUST RESORT TO COMPLIMENTS!

“Wow Big Mac, I’m impressed, how long has Sweet Apple Acers been here in Ponyville.” We had stoped a little bit ago and were now standing by a tree. He stopped looking sad, and smiled.

“Sweet Apple Acers has been around for around for ages, in fact we founded Ponyville.”

“Really, I would love to hear that story.” Please fall for it, I really don’t want to clean up. He began to talk, but then stopped midsentence and laughed.

“Ah see what yall are doing, but its not going to work. Get you’r work done and then yall can have story time.”

“Hey you had to give me credit for trying, so point me where you need me to work and tell me what to do great masta.” He laughed a bit and the masta comment and point his hoof over the hill, motioning me to follow him. I walked over the hill and was meet with about 45, 20 pound pumpkins, from what I could see.

“Ah want yall to take the pumpkins, bring them up to the barn and stack em up, then when your done with that ah want yall to go and pick up all the tools and bring them to the shed over there.” He pointed his hoof over towards a small shed near the house I had walked by a couple of times since I had been staying here.

“Got it, is that it, wait how am I supposed to cut the stem?”

“There should be ah knife up by the barns yall can use that.”

“Okay thanks Mac, you can count on me, and I will try not to kill myself!” I saluted him and stood up straight

“Eeyup, now if yall we’ll excuse me, ah have to go pick up AppleBloom from school and…”He seemed to pause and seemed a little bit uncomfortable.

“And?” Trololol

“Never mind, just get yall stuff done.” He snapped and turned around, trotting away. Well, somepony has a secret they don’t want anyone to find out! To troll or not to troll that is the question… Well I better get started on this pumpkin thingy. Then I complete trolling or not. Now on to get this knife.

10 Minutes later

(Spoken in a Spongebob voice)

WHERE THE HELL IS THIS KNIFE! I have been searching for around 10 minutes and I can’t freaken find it for all that is holy.

COME ON, IT’S A KNIFE NOT A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK!

After around 5 more minutes of searching...

YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK IT! I’M GOING TO USE MY LIGHTNING HANDS AGAIN!

“You know that’s not a good idea Matt, as fun as it might sound there is a good chance that what ever is hurting your chest might be related to this, and besides using your lightning powers is what got you into this mess…”

Sigh…

“Your right whatever part of my brain is speaking, guess its back for looking for the mother freaking waldo knife.”

This is going to be a long day… I sighed and leaned up against the house. I felt my elbow hit something and a thud as it hit the hard earth…

No…

NO FREAKING WAY!

I looked down towards my feet and sure enough, there was the freaking waldo knife!

No it’s not the waldo knife any more, you Mr. knife have been promoted to the troll knife! Congratulations, this package comes with nothing!

Now let’s go cut some pumpkins!

I seem way to happy about this…

Well, theres 1 pumpkins done. I was out of breath and leaning on a post by the barn. I don’t think the pumpkins like me because this one diced to roll down a hill after I had cut it and forced me to carry the 20 pound pumpkin up the hill. I am so going eat one of you for this…

Well, let’s try this again…

Yay…

I got up and walked back to the patch and found another pumpkin. I took out the knife and cut the stem off, separating the pumpkin from the rest of the gang. I rolled it out of the patch, careful not to roll it off the hill again…

I got it out of there and got it onto a flat zone. I stretched my arms and picked up the pumpkin. It wasn’t that heavy, but it was at least a 150 yard walk back to the barn! Once there I plopped it down in the pile I had made and went back to the patch.

Sigh, I hope I get paid for this, NO I better get paid for this!

Well, 2 down 43 more to go!

Yay…

One hour later…

(Please read in Spongebob voice)

“That was quite possibly the hardest job I have ever had to do!” I gasped as I leaned against a beam supporting the barn. The pumpkins seemed to have a hatred for me because 10 of them decided to roll down the hill towards the Forest. One of them went in it and I forced myself after a lengthy self debate to go in after it. I got the bastard, and then I heard growling and ran the hell out of there as fast as a man could while carrying a 20 pound pumpkin.

And then of course it had to happen 3 more times…

It was impressive to say the least.

I would defiantly win the can carry pumpkin uphill with scary monster on your ass contest!

God I hope they don’t have one in reality…

But I would still win, depending on the monster!

“Yawn, dang I’m beat. Well I did do everything he asked me to do, Except the tools I think….that…can…SNORE.”

“YALL WAKE UP!”

“AHHHHH!!! Oh hey Mac, do you need something from me?”

“Yall were supposed to put the tools in the shed, there still left out. Can yall tell me WHY there not in the shed?”

“Um well 1, I was exhausted from having to chase and catch pumpkins from the Everfree forest.

“Wait, how did a pumpkin get in the forest?” he asked giving me a quizzical look.

“Don’t know, don’t care because there all in the barn, so as I was saying…” He raised his hoof, and opened his mouth.

“Just get the job done, and then we can chit chat.” I started heading over to where the nearest tool was but I was more or less distracted by an angry looking AppleBloom.

“Um…What’s wrong with her?”

“She has a lot of homework…”and she was supposed to go hang out with the other crusaders today, so she might not be able to…”  Hmmm, I might be able to weasel my way out of this.

“I could help her with her homework if you want?”

“Yall would do that?”

“Um YEAH, you are letting me stay here, it’s the least I can do. Besides I could take a break from chasing pumpkins…”

“Chuckle, I guess yall are right, let me go tell her and then yall can help.” He started to walk towards the house. Suddenly he stoped and turned around and looked me right in the eye.

“And ah don’t want any funny stuff, got it?” He said this very little emotion and gave me an evil look.

“Um…You got it.”

“Good, ah will only be a minute.”

Well, I think I have enough time to stretch… The sudden thought of Richard Simmons came into my mind for whatever horrifying second, before I chased it away with torches.

BE GONE MAN IN SPANDEX!

“Yall can come up and help now.” Big Mac called from the porch.

“Got it!”

God I hope there’s no math…

Its not that I’m bad with it its just…

Math!

I walked up the stairs towards AB’s room. Well what I hope was AB’s room. It would be a bit awkward if I walked in on Granny Smith taking a nap.

Knock knock knock.

I heard a chair move and a book rustle. AB opened the door and we stood there awkwardly for a moment.

“So…I heard you needed help with some homework.” Her face lit up a little bit, and she invited me in.

“So whats seems to be the problem?”

“Ah can’t seem to figure out how to do this problem.”

“did’t the teacher teach it to you.”

“Ah…Kinda fell asleep in class.” I made a face of shock and horror. She turned red and she got a little bit sad.

“JUST KIDDING, I fell asleep all the time in class, but yet I still passed all my classes.” She laughed and I have to say that was one of the cutest things ever.

“Can I take a look at it?”

“Yeah, ah hope you know how to do this.” She gave me the book and I recognized it as the slope formula.

“Hmmm…I know how to do this, but I’m afraid we need to use….MATH!” I said math like it was the end of the world!

AppleBloom laughed and it was pretty dawwwww.

“Math is’t all that bad.”

“YOU…LIKE…MATH!” THE POWER OF BACON COMPELLS YOU!

“Ah don’t like it, but both Ms. Cheerilee and AJ say its good for you.”

“Yes Math is good for you, and you should learn, it don’t take me wrong….But its MATH!”

“Twilight likes math, but she’s an egghead.”

Well said child...

Well said!

“Yeah I kinda got that feeling, so let me work ze magicks. Now the 1st thing you do is…”

“Now the 1st thing you do is…”

(Authors note)  Did you really think that I was going to explain the slope formula?

If you thought I did, sadly you are mistaken…

I walked down to the barn hoping to see any sign of Big Mac, but I was sadly disappointed. I walked around for 5 minutes looking through the barn and also the surrounding    areas. I looked down and saw a large red object moving down in the lower levels of the orchard.

“He’s probably apple bucking, could need a hand.” I thought to myself. I walked down to where I lost saw him. He was not there, but there were some hoof prints leading off to a very old looking section of the farm. The trees were very different looking than the regular trees. I leaned against one of the trees and I got a shocked a little bit. This was truly a wtf the moment! I can get hit by lighting and be fine, but I can get shocked by trees…

WHAT THE FUCK!

I debated with myself for several minutes before I saw Big Mac’s head  in a hole at the bottom of a tree. I was about to call out to him, but he suddenly poked his head out.

With a doll in his mouth…

Akward.

“Um…Hey Big Mac…Do you need any help?” He spun around and was a red as a beet, I mean so red that I could see it through his red coat. He dropped the doll and hastily put it down in the tree… He turned around and gave me a “ If you tell anyone you are dead look”.

“Um…I just remembered I left one of the pumpkins and it was on fire…”

Smooth Matt, Smooth…

“Yeah…Well I’d love to stay and chat but… Pumpkin thingy.” I walked back a couple of feet and then turned around and ran like I was being chased. I looked behind me and sure enough, Big Mac was running after me.

Yup I am royally screwed…

All I could think of were 2 things, RUN RUN RUN RUN, and also, hmmmm, how could I use this to my benefit? I was running so fast I cleared one of the 4 feet high fences. I ran right towards the only thing I knew to take cover, the shed…

I suddenly remembered the infamous shed line.

“Don’t go into my shed”

I hope that’s a rumor, I really really don’t want to get murdered by a shed, if that’s even possible.

In all my life I never thought I would have to run away from a Big Mac….

Oh the irony.

The shed door was open, so I took the opportunity to go and jump into the shed, nearly failing and slamming myself into the side of it. I shut the door and leaned against it, listing for any sound or shadows that would tell me to run.  I ducked down and got on the warm, hard earth. There was a small opening near the bottom of the door. I looked out and saw a shadow. It stopped, stood there for a little bit and then disappeared. I breathed a sigh of relief and collapsed onto the ground of the shed…

I wiped my forehead and I my hand was covered in sweat.

“Gasp, my god that was almost as horrifying as Sheldon Coopers smile the 1st time I saw it…”

“WATCH OUT ANYPONY!” I heard something yell that before something collided with the shed at extremely high speeds. Wood splitters flew around, cutting and embedding themselves into me. I flew backwards and hit the back wall of the shed, or what I think is the shed. A large peice of wood hit my arm and I heard a sickening snap. It could have been the dirt or anything, but my mind turned to horror when I saw a pitchfork come down at me.

Time seemed to slow down, I lift my arm to try to stop it, but when I tried to move my arm, nothing happened.

“No no no no no NOOO-“

I heard the sickening sound of flesh being broken, and then the sound of a blade going through said flesh...

Cough..

I felt a warm liquid on my chest and running down my face. I tried to gasp, but I could barely breathe. Every time I tried to move, my body would spasm and I would feel a little bit less.

I looked down at my chest and was welcomed by the sight of a 3 foot long pitch fork sticking out of it…

It was up the where the 4 blades separated deep in my chest. I could feel the induvial blades deep within me.

I coughed again and I could feel blood beginning to pour out of my chest and a shocking rate. My mind began to go blank as I went into shock.

With the last few momnets of sight, I saw a winged shape digging through the pile. The shape laid their eyes on me and led out a scream.

I heard a couple mumbles before I welcomed death’s embrace.

Authors note!

Well i hope this was a nice little twist for you all.

Now i do have a couple of questions for you all, so could you please answer them and comment them in the chat!

Question 1: How would you feel about a very soon ponyfication arc?

Question 2: Could you possibly give me some ideas for eletric like powers in the chat, or ablites. I have been having a hard time lately thinking of some knew ones, so i would very much like it if you guys could help me!

Cya next time!