“I’ve done it! I’ve hacked into the coding of the universe!” yelled Haxor. “Now what can I get rid of to make it run better? Hmm… 4thwall.sys… doesn’t sound that important… yea, I’m gonna delete that.” (Deletes)
After perusing the rest of the code, but making no further changes, Haxor decided to come back to this in the morning.
“Who said that?” asked Haxor, concern in her voice.
Wait, you can hear me?
“Well you aren’t trying to be quiet, now are you?”
You’re not supposed to be able to hear me.
“Well I can. Now get out of my house!”
I’m not in your house.
“Oh? Then where are you?”
Nowhere. Wait, what’s that on your computer? Oh no… you didn’t…
“Didn’t what? And you need to show yourself before I call the police.”
Have you been looking at the code of the universe?
“Yeah. I’m trying to take out all the crap in this world so it runs better.”
Did you delete anything?
“Only 4thwall.sys.”
YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“What did I do?”
YOU DELETED THE 4TH WALL!!!!!!!
“The 4th wall? This room isn’t missing any walls.”
You don’t know what it is, do you.
“Can’t say I do.”
The 4th wall is what prevents characters in a story from interacting with the narrator. Usually you can’t hear me because of it. But SOMEONE decided to go and DELETE IT!
“Wait, story? Narrator? Just who ARE you?”
Alright! Here’s how it works. You probably won’t believe this, but you are actually a character in a story. I’m the author. Until you went and deleted the 4th wall, I controlled everything everyone said and did. This essentially makes me your god.
“You controlled everything I did?!”
Yes.
“…Doesn’t that mean you caused me to delete the 4th wall?”
…
“Now why would you do that?”
I was bored.
“And this is entertaining?”
It will be soon. Now go to bed so I can skip to tomorrow.
(The Next Day)
Alright, so now that you’re awake we can get this party started!
“Party? Oh god… tell me you’re not putting Pinkie Pie in this…” said Haxor.
“Don’t be silly! Who wouldn’t want me in a fourth wall breaching fanfic? I mean seriously, I already do that!”
“What the buck! How’d you get here?!” asked Haxor.
She’s Pinkie Pie. That should be enough of an explanation. Also, for future reference, please don’t use the expressions ‘oh god’ or ‘oh my god.’ Especially when talking to me. That could be construed as sexual, and quite frankly, that’s just creepy.
“Okie dokie lokie!” said Pinkie.
“He wasn’t talking to you,” stated Haxor.
“Ooh! You can hear the voices too?”
“The voices?”
“Yes! I’ve been hearing them for the longest time and I’ve told everyone about them but no one will believe me and Twilight said I might be crazy and used some big fancy word to describe it but I can’t remember what that word is but now I’m not the only one hearing the voices and that makes me sooo happy that I think we should throw a party to celebrate!”
“Pinkie, you think everything should have a party thrown for it.”
“Let’s do it!” (disappears)
“Let me get this straight, you’ve been talking to her for a while?”
Yes.
“But she’s the most insane pony in Equestria!”
That’s exactly why I talk to her.
“I don’t understand your logic.”
Logic? You delete the fourth wall and expect everything to be logical?
“… Good point.”
Anyway, you have a party to go to.
(At the party)
“Whoa, how’d I get here?” asked a bewildered Twilight.
“The author decided to put you in the story!” excitedly answered Pinkie.
“Author? Story? Pinkie, have you been sampling Zecora’s potions again?”
“Nope!”
“If you say so.”
She really hasn’t.
“Who said that? asked Twilight.”
“The author!” answered Pinkie.
“What the hay is going on?!”
Twilight, I do not feel like explaining this again. Please read the paragraph where I explained it to Haxor. I’ll send you there right now. (Twilight disappears and then reappears)
“Interesting. Who is this Haxor pony?” said Twilight upon reappearing.
“It’s me.” said Haxor, suddenly materializing. “Cool! I can make myself invisible!”
“Have we met before?”
“No, but I know who you are. And you will know who I am in about .2 seconds.”
“... How’d you do that?”
“I hacked into the coding of the universe.”
“And deleted the fourth wall. I am somehow inexplicably aware…”
“And speaking of inexplicable awarenesses, hey, author! We’re over 700 words into this, and you still haven’t told us what we can call you!”
You’re right. How rude of me. If you want a name to call me by, the account name I’m using to upload this is Öthnæar.
“And how exactly do we pronounce that?” asked Twilight.
Don’t worry about it. You only have a voice inside the reader’s head. Pronunciation is their problem.
“… ok then,” said Twilight.
“Are we here to talk? Or are we here to PARTY!” asked Pinkie.
“Party? Pinkie, there’s no party going on right now.”
I beg to differ. (A wild party appears!)
“Alright, that is seriously creeping me out how you can do that,” said Twilight.
Well too bad. Hey Haxor, are you thinking what I’m thinking?
“Depends, are you going to allow me to?”
Nice use of smart assery. And yes, yes I will.
“Then indeed I am.”
“So what is it you two are thinking?” asked Pinkie.
“That this story needs to be about 20% cooler!” yelled Rainbow Dash while crashing through a window.
Actually, nevermind. I don’t feel like writing a part for you, Rainbow. Bye! (Rainbow disappears) Come to think of it, this fanfic really hasn’t gone anywhere yet.
“Oh, you want this fanfic to go somewhere? Well, I know where it can go! It can go… TO THE MOON!!!!!! BEEYETCH!” said an interrupting Trollestia, while sending the author to the moon.