Delusions of Grandeur

by Shingo

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1913

An absurd anthology

Everyone escapes into imagination from time to time. While in the imagination, many create stories that stretch far beyond the realms of reality. Of course, no one can really experience these stories, no matter how well developed they are. But what if it was possible? What if it was possible to live like how one imagined? Twilight Sparkle has asked that, and she's found a way to do so.

Published 2012-11-23 20:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-23 20:50:01 UTC

Escaping a Trap

"Twilight, what is this?”

“This, is something that will help with telling stories.”

“A metal box with wires on it. How exactly is that going to help with storytelling?”

“It’s not just a metal box with wires. There are helmets too.”

“Those could use a serious redesign. The steel gray is just so cold and lifeless. Strange, it reminds me of my parents’ relationship with one another. I wonder why.”

…

“What?”

“This isn’t some egghead thing is it?”

“It’s not an egghead thing, it uses the raw power of SCIENCE! to work.”

“So exactly like an egghead thing then?”

“It’s not an egghead thing!”

“Err, Twi, can you actually explain what this is?”

“Sorry about that, thanks for bringing me back, Applejack. So, this is something I like to call The Fabula Cunctus. It allows a group of ponies to share a single consciousness for a short while. From there…”

“Make it simple, Twi.”

“Sorry. Basically, we’ll all be connected into it and be in a dreamlike state. From there, we'll see a story. We’re not going to listen to the story though, instead we’ll be living it. One pony will be building the world that we’re going to play in while the others get to play around in it. Think of it like a pony building a sandbox for some foals.”

“Who tells the story?”

“Right now, it’s set to the strongest mind. Whoever has the strongest mind out of all of us gets to build the world. Want to try it?”

“Let’s do it! I want to play around in fantasy.”

“I don’t know about this.”

“Come on, it won’t be as bad as you think.”

*

“Not as bad as you think, huh?” Rainbow Dash asked with annoyance in her voice. “Nopony has the ability to imagine dangerous stories, huh? Well, how right are you about that, Twi?”

“I said I was sorry!” Twilight cried. “I didn’t think that she would imagine this!”

“It’s Pinkie! The words ‘think’ and ‘Pinkie’ are a dangerous combination; no good can ever come from them being put together! You should know that!” Both Rainbow and Twilight were tied together. They were hanging from a rope suspended by a large crane. The two of them were suspended over a large aquarium with sharks swimming in circles. The pegasus was wearing a black tuxedo with a bright red bow tie around her neck while the unicorn was wearing a skin tight jumpsuit. A magical limiter was over her horn while the pegasus’ wings were tied. Beside them was a white unicorn bound to a silver table. She was wearing a green silk dress and two concentrated beams of light were slowly heading towards her, one descending on her head and one moving up the table. Across from the table was an orange earth pony mare wearing a lab coat trapped in a giant plastic apple. The apple was on a conveyor belt and was slowly moving towards what looked like an oversized cider press. Watching it all was a pink earth pony mare sitting in an egg shaped chair a few feet above the scene. She was wearing a white blazer with a similarly coloured vest and a black dress shirt underneath it. A white ascot sat at her neck. The pink pony was stroking a small alligator. A calm smile was on her face as she watched the scene.

“Well, well, well,” she said. “It seems that everypony has been caught. An interesting collection of ponies who have been caught too. We have a scientist who works for the ESS, a pair of spies from the same organization, and a traitor. What do you all have to say for yourselves?”

“You’re crazy, Pinkie!” the orange mare screamed. “You can’t kill us!”

“Crazy?” Pinkie hopped out of her seat. She landed on the floor where her victims were with the alligator still in her hoof. Pinkie slowly walked forward, still stroking the alligator. “Is it really a crazy thing to want to change the world? Is it really crazy to remove all obstacles preventing you from achieving your dreams? Tell me, Professor Applejack, is that really crazy?” She stopped in front of the silver table.

“And is it crazy to dispose of those who betrayed your trust?” a pink hoof moved down the white unicorn’s face. “That doesn’t sound crazy, does it, Lady Rarity?”

“You’re sick, Pinkie,” Rarity said. “Well dressed, but sick.”

“Thank you,” Pinkie adjusted her cravat. “I had somepony I trusted give advice on the look. I think I’ll talk with her again sometime soon… oh that’s right, I can’t anymore because she’ll be dead.”

“Do you expect me to beg for my life and possibly my job back?”

“No, Lady Rarity, I expect you to die!” a pink hoof placed itself on Pinkie’s chin. “Then I expect the life to drain from your eyes, then I expect your body to lie there, then I expect it to be sent to the incinerators, then I expect it too…”

“We get it!” the two hanging ponies shouted. Pinkie looked up at them with a smile.

“And you two,” she said. “Sent here by Celestia herself to stop me. I should be honoured. Only those who are truly dangerous have Agent Dash and Agent Sparkle sent after them. I didn’t know what to expect. The ESS has sent agents before, but they were all dressed in tactical gear. I thought that I’d see that when I heard the ESS was coming after me. But seeing a pretty unicorn in a skin tight suit and a handsome pegasus in a tux was a surprise. Though I’m not complaining, I do like what they sent; it’s much more attractive than tactical gear.” A faint blush appeared on Rainbow’s face while Twilight became a deep shade of red. Pinkie turned to the sharks in the tank.

“Pretty soon though, that won’t matter,” Pinkie put a hoof on the glass. “You’ll be food for my friends here. And by the way, the more you struggle, the more violent they get. Lower them!” The rope holding Rainbow and Twilight began lowering itself. Twilight shook her head before looking straight at Pinkie.

“You may have caught us,” she said. “But there will be somepony to stop you.”

“And who would that be?” Pinkie asked. “That cute pegasus pointing a long range rifle at the back of my skull who’s sitting on the platform behind my chair?” Pinkie turned around. Just as she said, there was a yellow pegasus pointing a long metallic object at her. The pegasus had her mane tied back in a ponytail and was wearing a beige double breasted blazer. Her head shot up and a small smile was on her face.

“How did you know?” she asked.

“Gummy told me,” Pinkie rubbed underneath the alligator’s chin. “He knows everything that happens here. Speaking of which.” Pinkie pulled her foreleg back with Gummy in her hoof.

“GUMMY! ATTACK!” Gummy was thrown towards the yellow pony. As he flew through the air, yellow arcane characters circled around him. His entire body became black and it grew. His legs became longer and the claws at the tip of his feet became sharper. Razor sharp teeth slowly appeared in his mouth. When Gummy landed beside the chair, he was standing on his hind legs. Stretched out at his sides were arms and at the tips of his fingers were sharp claws. Instead of being empty, his mouth was full of white pointy teeth. He crouched down before launching himself at the pegasus. The object gave off a loud roar putting a piece of metal through Gummy. He continued moving towards her as if he wasn’t struck. “That’s a good boy. Now, I have to go. A world needs to be conquered, and it won’t do it by itself.” Pinkie started walking away humming to herself. Rainbow and Twilight struggled against the rope. They were becoming closer to the water with each passing second.

“How do we get out of this?” Rainbow asked.

“I got an idea,” Twilight whispered. “It’s a long shot, but it might just work.”

“Whatever it is, do it now,” cyan legs moved up. “I don’t want to get eaten.” Twilight cleared her throat.

“Hey Pinkie!” the pink pony turned around. “You’re mixing genres!”

“Wait, what?!” Pinkie shrieked. “Stop crane, the laser, and the novelty cider press. Gummy, stand down.” All of the machines stopped and Gummy sat down. Rainbow and Twilight were inches away from touching the water while Applejack’s apple stopped just before the cider press. The lasers moving towards Rarity were beginning to burn her and Fluttershy was covered in cuts. Pinkie ran back to the hanging ponies.

“What do you mean I’m mixing genres?” she asked.

“When you threw Gummy at Fluttershy,” Twilight explained. “Arcane characters circled around him before he had a monstrous form.”

“So?”

“So, magic like that doesn’t exist in this world,” Pinkie’s eyes widened. “This entire world is technology based. If you have magic like that, then you’re introducing fantasy elements in a rather science fiction like world.”

“Umm…” Pinkie quickly looked around the room. Her eyes fell on Applejack. “Magi-tech! That’s how Gummy’s like that! I got some scientists to develop it so he can turn into that.”

“Oh, so close,” Twilight laughed. “All of the gadgets that Applejack has provided us have been made of pure technology. The only real magic that exists here is telekinesis and light spells. Magi-tech can’t exist. You can’t just introduce a fundamental element like that near the climax of the story. It has to be set up at the beginning.”

“Could I say genetic modification?”

“You could have if Gummy didn’t have arcane characters circle him.” All around the ponies, cracks started to form. They moved along the walls and the floor. Some formed on the air while others formed on the ceiling.

“Shoot!” Pinkie tapped the floor causing the scenery to shatter like glass. Pieces of the death machines fell to the floor. The clothing they were all wearing disappeared and they were left in a white expanse. All of the ponies moved towards Pinkie. “I guess it’s over, huh?”

“It is, Pinkie,” Applejack said.

“You all had fun though, right?” all five other ponies nodded.

“This was incredible!” Rainbow cheered. “I had no idea you had things like this running in your mind.”

“It was scary at times,” Fluttershy said. “But I did enjoy it.”

“Honestly, Pinkie,” Rarity pushed a part of her mane. “I didn’t think you could create such a beautiful world.”

“You’ve proved that my machine works, Pinkie,” Twilight said. “Thank you.”

“Thank you all for enjoying my silly little delusion,” Pinkie grabbed all of her friends in a hug. After a few moments of hugging, she let go. “Who wants to go next?”

“I’m sorry, Pinkie, but we really should,” Twilight stopped when she saw her friends. All of them had wide eyes and were staring straight at her. Tears were starting to form in them and Rarity’s lower lip was trembling. “Alright, we can go one more time, but that’s it.” All of them cheered.

“I’m next!” Rainbow said. Black suits suddenly appeared on all of them. Everypony looked at themselves with confusion. A cigar was placed in Rainbow’s mouth. “You know how we consider each other family?” Her friends nodded.

“Well, our family is going to become a Family.”