Finding Solace

by Demichev

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Zecora, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance, Princess Luna, Fluttershy
Length: 5515

For the one you love how far will you go?

Jonathan is a human in Equestria. However unlike most stories about humans he has no memory of anything. Sure he recognizes that he is the only human, but that doesn't bother him. His interests lie in loving and carrying for his wife, a certain yellow pegasus. His story is one of drama, for he is plagued with nightmares that ruin his sleep and that of the one he loves. One day he finally has enough and sets out to find a way to rid himself of these nightmares. How far is he willing to go for the one he loves beyond words?

This story is not BiE,and does not contain sexual interactions and thus is not a clopfic. If you want that find it somewhere else. this story is for those who want a purely romantic story.

Published 2012-11-22 12:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-09 20:33:33 UTC

Nightmares

Nightmares

Pain.

He jolts awake with a small scream. His heart is beating fast and he has a splitting headache. These nightmares, why does he keep having the nightmares? Why can he not remember what they are once he jolts awake? It’s like this every night. He goes to sleep and then awakens in fear, sweating, with a horrible headache, and no memory of what woke him.

He hopes he hasn’t woken his sweetheart. A touch on his back makes him turn to see what is touching him. It is her. He has awoken her and the look in her beautiful eyes are full of worry, yet calms him down. He is mad at himself for waking her. It has been like this for months and they are both suffering sleep depravation from his nightly violent awakenings,

“Nightmares again?” she asks softly. Her voice is laced with tiredness and frustration. He knows the frustration is not directed at him, but at his body and it’s inability to give them both just one night of sleep. Sleep uninterrupted and peaceful.

“Yeah.” he responds. His voice is just tired. Tired of waking, tired of waking her, tired of this constant cycle he is trapped in.

“Do you remember anything this time? Anything that might help us find a way to get rid of them so that you can finally rest peacefully?”

She said “us,” and that’s why he loves her. She’s been with him step by step, night by night and has suffered with him through everything. She has never once been angry with him for waking her. She’s been there every night to calm him down when he comes out of whatever nightmare has been plaguing his every night.

“No, I still don’t know what keeps waking me. I still have no memory of what it is that wakes me. I only know that every time I wake up, my heart is beating like I ran a marathon, and my head hurts like someone is trying to drive a searing hot spike into my skull. I’m so tired, dearest, not only physically, but mentally as well. I’m tired of waking you up with this. I wish you could get the sleep you deserve, the sleep you need.”

She puts a hoof on his lips to stop him from saying anything more. She looks into his eyes, a small tired smile on her face. The love she has for him is deeper than any body of water on the planet. She too wishes for something. She wishes she could take the nightmares away. She wishes she could give him peaceful sleep. She wishes they could lay here at night and fall asleep and not wake up until Celestia’s sun rises over the horizon and Luna’s moon dips below that same horizon to give the ponies on the other side of the planet rest. Rest that her love has been deprived of for months.

“Shh.” she whispers. “It’s okay, I know your heart. I know you want solace and want to be able to rest uninterrupted for once.” She giggles softly and then continues, “I know you’d give me the world if you were able.”

Her giggle, it makes him happy. Even when everything seems at its worst, her giggle makes everything alright. That’s what he wants to be able to give her. Happiness. Sure she’s happy when she’s around him, but he wants her to have more happiness. To see her smile without being tired. To hear her laugh and to see the sparkle in her eyes. He would give it all just see her that way. He would give his very life, if only to see her eternally happy.

He wraps his hands around her hoof, rubbing it gently. He kisses the top of her hoof and then looks into her eyes. “Indeed I would give you all of Equestria and the lands around it if it were in my power. You are worth that and more to me. After all I put you through with my restl-”

“Shh,shh,shh, enough of that dear, please try to get some sleep, I know it is hard, but you really must get at least a little rest.” she interrupted.

“Alright, I-I’ll try.” he said.

With that they both laid down and after a little tossing and turning his beloved was asleep and snoring softly. He, however, was not sleeping. He feared to close his eyes and risk waking the one he loved again. Instead, he laid there watching his love sleep. He loved her long pink mane and how it flowed like pink river across her sleeping yellow form. He watched the rise and fall of her side as she slept.

After awhile he decided to go downstairs and read a little. Carefully, as to not wake his sleeping yellow mare, he slipped out of bed and walked softly out of the bedroom and down the stairs. All the while he thought of how much he loved Fluttershy. He would do anything for her, even if she asked him to climb up the tallest mountain, he would do so. He remembered when he first met her how she had been the first one he had met that had been kind to him. Even though he was something she had never encountered before.

She had been with one of her friends, Twilight, that day and the two had taken a walk along the edge of the Everfree. Of course, many feared the Everfree for it’s strangeness, but the edge of the forest wasn’t as wild as it is deeper in. They were walking along the edge of the forest when they happened upon him. They weren’t really sure what they were looking at, but since this was the edge of the Everfree they weren’t surprised that they ran across something they had never encountered. Twilight, being the ever curious, but cautious mare was the first to edge closer and try to get a good look at what it was without risking her safety. She was within a few feet him when he stirred. This surprised her, so she reacted by using her magic to restrain him. Her magic not only restrained him, but also was effective in waking him. He looked around and screamed.

Fluttershy heard this scream and it struck a cord in her. She knew that sound. It was of something that was frightened. She jumped out of her hiding place and loudly told Twilight to let him go. Twilight responded that she couldn’t because this creature might attack them. Fluttershy then explained that this creature was acting out of fear and not out of bloodlust. She told Twilight to look at the creature and when Twilight did, she saw the creature cowering, fear evident in his face. Twilight released the being from her magic, and the being curled up. Fluttershy saw this being shaking and could hear the distinct sound of crying. She saw this and could only think of one thing to do.

Fluttershy walked over to this being, put a hoof on it and said, “There, there now, nothing is going to hurt you. Shhh, shh, no need to fear. We just want to help.”

The being stopped shaking and slowly turned to look into those blue pools. He surprised the two mares when he asked, “Where am I? What is this place? Who am I? How did I get here? What’s going on?”. After that short time, he passed out.

The rest of the story is him waking up with only the memory of his name. He was in Fluttershy’s house being tended to by her. Apparently the two ponies had no idea what to do with him and since Fluttershy’s house had been the closest, they had taken him there. For weeks she took care of him. She had admitted to him later that she wasn’t afraid of him like she was afraid of most other things. She couldn’t explain why, but something about him was different.

Several months after they discovered him, he found himself with feelings for this creature who had taken care of him and had been the first to show him kindness. He told her one night when she was tending to him that he loved her. She had reacted by stopping and looking at him for a bit, then she told him that she felt an attraction to him as well. That is how they became lovers.

Many would think this relationship between an equine and a human would not work, but in this case it did. He was careful not to upset her or do anything that might be deemed inappropriate. He deeply respected her and did not want to do something that they might regret. So he was perfectly fine with a non-sexual relationship. Another thing that made him content with that arrangement was when Twilight had stopped by to check on his progress. Fluttershy had been enthusiastic when she told Twilight that he and Fluttershy loved each other. Twilight had looked at him and then told Fluttershy that she was sorry, but that the two would not have children because he was genetically different. Fluttershy said that was okay because they had agreed to have a relationship that that didn’t have children anywhere in it.

He spent his time helping Fluttershy do things around her house. She could do everything without, but since he had hands, they quickly found that he could do them with more ease. The extent of life was that he stayed in or around the house and never left it. Fluttershy’s workload was lessened by him and as such she had more free time. They spent that time together just enjoying each other’s company. When it came time for a restock on supplies Fluttershy would be the one to get them. She had asked him to come along once, but he had declined stating that he feared that he would scare the other ponies and that was not something he wanted.

He had been reading for hours now and Celestia’s sun had begun it’s accent over the horizon, bringing with the glories of day time and the life that comes with it. Even with the little sleep he got, he was happy with his life. Nothing meant more to him than his love and her smile. He decided to make her breakfast.

Morning Surprise

Morning Surprise

Fluttershy awoke to the luscious scents of breakfast. She thought she was dreaming and rolled over to look for her love, Jonathan. She saw him missing from his place on the bed beside her. She frowned, but then thought about it. She guessed that he must have left the room when she fell asleep after he woke her up with his violent awakening in the night. She sighed, there was a time when he was able to sleep through the night with waking, but recently had been plagued with nightmares every time he slept.

She really did wish she could take those away or find some way to make it possible for him to sleep. She knew that he had left the room and had spent the night downstairs and that he did not sleep at all. The lack of sleep really had to be effecting him badly. After all, nopony would be able to function without proper rest.

She got up from bed and trotted down stairs and into the living area of the house. There he was, in the kitchen making something and judging from the smells it was going to be delicious. He seemed not to have heard her come down the stairs. She thought about that for a moment and decided to take advantage of this rare opportunity. It is not very often that she got the opportunity to sneak up behind someone. She unfurled her wings and took to the air. She quietly fluttered over to where he was working. She reared up and then through her forelegs out and wrapped them around his neck in an embrace. She got satisfaction in that he jumped a little. After a pause, he dropped the utensils he was using and placed his hands on her forelegs and leaned his head on hers.

“You scared me dearest.” he giggled. Fluttershy loved it when he made those sounds. She especially loved the sound of his voice. A deep, voice and from her position she could feel the vibrations in his chest from the words. His voice wasn’t scary like a dragon’s voice was.

“I just had to take the opportunity to surprise hug you.” she responded. She released him, slipping her forelegs out from around his neck and he turned around to face her. She loved his eyes, those sky blue pools that usually shone, but were dulled by the lack of sleep. Still it didn’t stop his smile. She knew that his love for her was beyond that of simple affection.

She loved him just as much as he loved her. She loved everything about him, the way he smiled, the way he laughed, The way his short black hair seemed to change colors every now and again to brown was, and she especially loved how when he entered the house from outside, the animals who around her, that were normally rambunctious, would calm down. She had first assumed it was out of fear, but when she asked Angel about it, he had told it wasn’t fear but respect. Something about him demanded respect and as a result demanded respect of her.

“I didn’t hear you come down. I was preparing breakfast for you and I was going to bring it up to you, but you are down here now so my plans have to change.” he said.

“Oh, um, I could go back upstairs if you want. I mean, if you still want to serve me breakfast in bed.”

“That won’t be necessary. I would love nothing more than to be in your presence my dear. It means the world to me to have you close.”

Fluttershy blushed at his statement. Fluttershy would have loved nothing more than to have kissed him right then and there, but she restrained herself. She knew that doing so would interrupt the moment. He walked over to the table and pulled one of the cushions out from under it and dusted it with a few hits. He set it down and looked at her.

“My lady, a table for two. Breakfast shall be served shortly.” Fluttershy giggled at his poor impersonation of a waiter. She landed, folded her wings, and trotted over to the dust free cushion and sat down on it. He walked back over to the kitchen and put the food onto some plates. He carried them over and set them down on the table. He then pulled a cushion out for himself and sat down on it. She looked at him and snickered. The way he sat was always funny to her. The way he would sit down and then fold his legs so that each of his feet were under a knee.

She had asked him one time why he sat like that. His response was that it was called “sitting indian style” and that he didn’t know why it was called that, just that it was the most comfortable sitting position for the low table that Fluttershy had bought after the “Sleepover Incident”. She had tried to sit like that once, but couldn’t seem to get the positioning right and had always ended up staring ceiling.

She looked at breakfast. It was a delicious smelling mix of fruits.

“What is it?” she asked, noticing the slight char on some of the fruit.

“It’s fruit that has been slightly cooked to bring out the sugars in them. It makes the fruit have more flavor.” he said.

She took a bite. The flavors absolutely overwhelmed her taste-buds. The fruit certainly did have more flavor to them when they were slightly cooked. Either that or the dish had been made by her love with love. She chewed and swallowed the delicious breakfast.

She opened her eyes and saw him smiling at her. She hadn’t realized until just then that she had closed her eyes. She blushed.

“I take it that means you really enjoyed that bite. Judging by the closed eyes and the moan.” he said, smiling at her. Fluttershy turned a deeper shade of pink and tried to hind behind her long pink mane. He giggled and she couldn’t help but smile as well.

“Um, Yes.” she said, coming out from behind her mane and eating more of the delicious breakfast while trying hard not to close her eyes and moan at the same time.

Jonathan insisted on cleaning up the mess and letting Fluttershy relax for awhile longer. She watched him while he worked. Watched as he scrubbed the dishes clean and put them in their proper place. While she watched her mind wandered back to thoughts on what she could do to help her beloved to get the sleep that he had been deprived of for these many months.

Afternoon Decision

Chapter 3 Afternoon Decision

Several hours passed while Fluttershy relaxed on her comfy green sofa. Jonathan had told her to take the afternoon off. When she had protested and told him that she had to take care of all the animals, he had silenced her with a finger to her lips and told her he would take care of the animals. He told her to just relax, lay about, and not worry about anything and that he would take care of it. It was not long till her thoughts again wandered onto his sleeplessness and the nightmares that haunted him. She knew she had to do something to help him. What could help him though? Nopony in Equestria had ever seen anything like him and that was why he stayed with her, away from any other ponies. Only Twilight and herself knew of his existence. They never even told their other friends, determined to keep the knowledge that she was keeping an unknown cre-...no he is not that... being at her place.

Fluttershy lazed about and continued pondering on how she could help him. She started to doze off, but jolted awake as a thought occured to her. She just had to go see Twilight. She couldn’t let her beloved suffer any longer. So Fluttershy decided she would go to Ponyville and ask Twilight to help her help him. She got up and put her saddlebags on and trotted out the door. Jonathan was at the pond in front of the house, tossing food to the animals that resided there.

“Jonathan,” she said softly, “I’m heading into town for a bit.”

Jonathan looked up from what he was doing, smiled at her, and responded, “Alright dear, be safe and don’t let the vendors take all your bits.”

Fluttershy blushed a little and trotted in the direction of Ponyville.
_____________________________________________________________________________

After Jonathan had told Fluttershy to take the day off, he had spent all of the morning doing the various things around the property. He had fed most of the animals around the property and was hoping to spend any extra time he had sitting with Fluttershy in the cottage. That was the one thing he loved to do more than anything else. Just sitting near her and relaxing. He loved her company and the aura that surrounded her. The peace and tranquility that flowed from her like her long pink hair. He loved to listen to the sound of her breathing, the soft in and out that whispered like the wind among the willow trees, but that comparison was the best he could do and really didn’t do her justice. She was the one who kept him going when he awoke from those horrible nightmares.

When she was out of sight, Jonathan could only think, “Well, there goes a peaceful afternoon.” He shrugged and finished feeding the creatures at the pond. Then he remembered that it was time the garden was tended to. He put the feeding supplies back into the storage shed and grabbed the gardening tools. A few months ago, when he and Fluttershy had become close, he had noticed that Fluttershy would often return home with a saddened appearance. He had asked her once what was bothering her and she had responded:

“Every time I go the markets to get more food, I feel like I’m being robbed. It’s so much more difficult to take care of the animals, myself, and another on the the bits I make from taking care of other ponies pets.”

At that moment Jonathan had a brilliant idea.

“Perhaps you could have a garden. Then you could feed all the creatures and yourself and whatever you couldn’t grow here, you could buy at the market. You might even have stuff from the garden that you could sell or trade with the vendors.”

Since then, they had a garden. Having the garden had alleviated much of the strain on Fluttershy’s finances and had even brought in some revenue every once in a while. It also served to keep him busy when he had nothing better to do or Fluttershy was out at the town.

Jonathan walked to the garden and began checking the various plants for diseases and plucking the vegetables and fruits that were ready to be harvested off.

After several hours, he got up from his work and looked up at the sky.

“Hmm, it is getting quite late. I wonder where Fluttershy is?” he asked himself.

He turned to walk to the cottage. Suddenly his vision went black and he crumpled to the ground. Pain shot through his nervous system, threatening to burn his inside and turn him in ash.
He twitched and spasmed on the ground, moaning in pain as his heart raced and muscles coiled and tightened. He felt as if his entire body was burning and thousands of spikes were being drive into every pore of his body.
_____________________________________________________________________________

Fluttershy knocked on the door of the tree library.

“Come in.” twittered the voice of her purple friend from somewhere in the library.

Fluttershy pushed open the door and trotted in. She shut the door behind her. It never ceased to amaze her that this tree had somehow been turned into library. She always wondered what force could have made this place. Her thoughts were interrupted as Twilight trotted into the main room.

“Hey Fluttershy.” Twilight said as she gave Fluttershy a hug. “What brings you into Ponyville?”

“Well,” Fluttershy answered shyly, “If its not to trouble I need to ask a favor. If you’re not to busy that is.”

“Of course I’m not busy, I’m always free to help a friend when they need it. So what do you need help with.” Twilight responded with a smile.

“It’s about Jonathan.” Fluttershy stated.

Twilight’s smiling face twitched. Twilight asked, “What’s the problem with Jonathan? I thought everything was going fine.”

“Twilight, I’m sorry, but I didn’t tell you the whole truth every time I came into town. I know you wanted to know how he was doing, but I left things out. You see every time he tries to go to sleep, he gets maybe an hour of sleep before he wakes up. Every time he wakes up he’s screaming and thrashing about. I thought at first that it was just the regular type of nightmare and that they would go away after awhile, but this has been going on for quite some time and now I just can’t bear to see him struggle anymore.” Fluttershy started crying, sobs wracking her body.

Twilight pulled her friend into a hug and replied tenderly, “It’s okay Fluttershy, shh shh shh shh shh, I understand. You were only protecting him and you just want the best for him. I can see you care very deeply for him.” Twilight continued to hold her friend as Fluttershy began to calm.

Fluttershy pulled out of the embrace and wiped the last remnants of tears from her face. She smiled and said, “Thank you Twilight, I’m so glad you’re my friend. I need your help to find some way to make the nightmares stop.”

Twilight pondered this for a moment. “Hmm, stop nightmares huh? Alright I’ll see what I can find. In fact I’ll make it my priority to help you, er, him. The study that I was working on can wait. Friends in need first, leisure projects last.”

“Oh thank you Twilight!” Fluttershy hugged Twilight tightly. “Thank you so much.”

“Flut-cough-ersh-ah can’t-cough- breathe-he,” Twilight said, looking a whole new definition of purple.

“Oh! sorry.” Fluttershy said sheepishly, letting go of Twilight and standing back.

Cough “No problem, however, it may take me awhile to find something. So, feel free to go on home and keep an eye on him. I’ll be over there as soon as I find something that can help. See you later.”

“Bye, Twilight.” Fluttershy left the library and began the trot back to the cottage.

Author's Note

Woot! Another chapter all you smexy ponies are happy children. You make me smile.

Error Unknown

Chapter 4 Error Unknown

Jonathan came to in complete darkness, pain everywhere, and unbearable heat. His heart raced, fear fogging his mind making thought impossible. He looked around, seeing nothing, not even himself. He called out in a hoarse voice, “Hello, is there anyone there?”

A voice, deep, loud, and full of sneering hatred responded, “Such an interesting specimen, an anomaly yet not. Interesting, interesting indeed. Yes, it will do perfectly.” the voice laughed maliciously and continued, “Oh how I have waited so long for an opportunity, I knew would come and now it is here and I can finally be free. It will take a message to her, oh yes, and she will rue ever scorning me and imprisoning me here.”

Jonathan spoke, “What? What do you want? What are you talking about?”

The voice screamed, “SILENCE! It will not speak, only obey my will!”

At the words from this horrible unseen being Jonathan’s body was wracked with more pain and fear than that which he’d previously felt upon waking. He screamed out falling over onto whatever surface he was on, spasming.

The voice continued, “It will bring her a message and it will do so for me. It will say to her, Fear and utter Darkness the master of them has awoken, the time of tyranny has begun. It will deliver that message to her. My supposed siblings thought they could shun me forever, but they will learn that they made a terrible mistake in doing so, oh yes, all will come to fear and tremble before me and none shall stand before the might of Lord Nevid. Now go and do as I command it.”

Upon the last words Jonathan fell from whatever realm he had been in.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Fluttershy’s walk to the cottage near the Everfree Forest was uneventful and she hummed a tune to herself thoughts of what to do about Lunch. She couldn’t think of anything, but it was making her hungry. The cottage came into view and she smiled. Everytime she came home, Jonathan was always there to greet her with a hug and a ‘Welcome back dearest’. Then she’d tell him everything while he sat there look into her eyes, listening intently.

She crossed over the little bridge over the small pond in front of her house and up the path to the door, checking the mailbox for any mail, of which there was none. She put her hoof in the door loop and pulled the door open. She was surprised to find Jonathan not waiting to greet her. She called into the house, “Jonathan, I’m home.”

No response was returned. She searched the kitchen and found it clean and no one present, she went upstairs and pushed the door to Jonathan’s room open and found it clean as well, but Jonathan was not there.

She went downstairs and to the backdoor and pushed it open. She called out, “Jonathan? Are you out here?” No response was heard. She stepped outside and looked around. She spotted a quivering mass lying on the ground near the garden. “Jonathan!” Fluttershy screamed, running up to him and placing her hoof on him. “Jonathan, what’s wrong? Oh dear you’re burning up.” She started panicking, she had no idea what to do about this. Jonathan was spasming, curled into a ball, every muscle locked up, his breathing coming in short breaths.

“Oh dear what do I do? What do I do?” She said fear in her strained voice.

She couldn’t leave him there, but she couldn’t risk moving him either. She decided she’d have to go get help and leave him, as much as she didn’t want to. She turned and flapped her wings, taking flight. Usually she didn’t fly, but as this was an emergency she knew she could get help quicker by taking to the air. She flew up and accelerated toward Ponyville. “Maybe Twilight will be able to help him,” She said to herself, “or at least know somepony who can.”

A minute later she arrived at the Library and shoved the door open, startling Twilight, who was in the midst of sorting some new books. “Hello again Fluttershy, what’s wrong?” Twilight looked at Fluttershy concerned.

“Twilight I need help, it’s Jonathan, I went home after talking to you and found him near the garden on the ground, something’s wrong.” Fluttershy said quickly taking a breath after.

Twilight got up and ran out of the library, Fluttershy right behind her.

They arrived at the cottage several minutes later and went to where Jonathan was on the ground. Twilight lit up her horn and touched him with her magic. The magic back lashed and pushed Twilight back onto her rump and gave her a headache.

“Ouch, that’s weird, it’s like as soon as I touched him with my magic, something slapped it away.” Twilight stated rubbing her head, pain evident on her face. “I don’t think whatever’s responsible for that, wants interference.”

Fluttershy started sobbing, afraid that she might lose Jonathan.

Twilight pondered for a moment, looking around, then a thought came to her. “Okay, whatever this is fights against magic, but what about something that is magic, but not. Perhaps Zecora might have something.”

Fluttershy stopped sobbing and looked at Twilight with tear filled eyes. “Do you think that Zecora might have something that can help him?”

Twilight responded, “She might, but we won’t know until she tries. I’m going to go get her, wait here and keep an eye on him.” Fluttershy nodded. Twilight got up and ran toward the path to Zecora’s hut in the Forest.

_____________________________________________________________________________

An hour passed, Jonathan continued to remain in his state writhing on the ground, he’d gotten worse and Fluttershy feared that he might die. Twilight soon returned with Zecora.

(AN: Forgive me folks, but I lack the skill to do rhymes, so the best I can do is plain English for Zecora. If someone wants to give it a try then you are more than welcome to give it a go.)

Zecora looked at the strange being in front of her. Twilight had done her best to explain to Zecora what he looked like, but it was still a strange sight to see. It wasn’t so much what she saw that was strange, but what she felt. Emanating from this “Jonathan” was an energy that felt evil, unknown, and very dark, but underneath that she could feel a warmth and a sensation that she had felt everytime one of the six ponies she was friends with came to visit. She found it rather odd.

“It is strange, I feel a sensation similar to when one of you ponies visits me, but I also feel an energy coming from him that is not his own. A very powerful one, full of malice and such evil, it nearly overwhelms the first.” Zecora said.

“I don’t feel anything and when I tried to reach out with magic, something pushed it away and gave me a headache.” Twilight said.

“Ah, Twilight you are right to seek my help in this matter. It is apparent that we are dealing with something beyond ponykind. Though my kind shares similarities with ponies, our specialties lie in that which is, but also is not.”

“How can something exist, but not exist, that doesn’t make sense.” Twilight was befuddled at this strange concept.

“Just trust me Twilight, I will help you find out what is the matter with Fluttershy’s lover.”

Fluttershy was shocked,“How, how did you know?”

Zecora only smiled and said, “That which is, but is not.”

Twilight’s response was interrupted by a stirring on the ground. Jonathan’s body relaxed and his eyes snapped open and he took in a deep breath.

Author's Note

Have another chapter, on the house.