Chapter 17

The past week had taken its toll on Nightmare, very visibly. She looked as though she hadn’t slept in that entire time. If the bloodshot eyes weren’t enough, she also had fairly large dark circles beneath them to show just how badly she was beaten. On top of that, even her once beautiful amethyst mane had become nothing more than a rat’s nest along with her sleek black coat. She didn’t care about this though. Even rest seemed far from the mare’s mind as she sat on the nest of pillows. She didn’t even care about her own personal condition as she simply glanced down at her own stomach or better yet, what was curled right up next to it.

There it sat, curled up in a small dark blue ball of fluff was something she hadn’t ever seen before. Something she didn’t know quite what to make of, yet, seemed strangely drawn to it. What was she going to do now? What could she do now? She wasn’t exactly in the best position to be doing much of anything. In fact, she couldn’t even think of what she could possibly do at this point. There was so much running through her mind in those ten minutes. So much that she couldn’t even comprehend what she was feeling. As she thought about it though, they began to become a bit more clear.

‘What...am I doing?’ she asked herself, as her emotions began to well up in her. This had to be the first time she had ever felt like this in her life. It wasn’t like anything she recalled from Luna, by any means. This time it was entirely different. Deep down she was beginning to feel something. Something more than just that lust she had felt. Yet, she didn’t seem to understand exactly what she was feeling. ‘Who am I...?’ she continued to question herself. In the hopes that it would reveal what she could do with what she was facing now.

It proved fruitless though, as Nightmare found herself growing even more confused as she questioned herself. It was followed by a very soft sigh as she turned up to the nearest window. Outside it, she saw nothing but darkness, but as she gazed past it...she saw the stars. They twinkled bright throughout the night sky. This brought no comfort though, for as she returned her gaze to the little fluff ball, there was a bit of movement.

Nightmare smiled very slowly as she watched the fluff ball uncurl. The smile wasn’t malicious at all either, instead it seemed rather gentle and almost loving as she watched the fluff ball reveal itself. With a small horn and a curly amethyst mane to match her own, it was adorable. Cute even, she couldn’t deny that. Especially with the beautiful golden eyes she had along with everything else. Just watching this, she felt what could only be described as joy in her heart. It was a foal, but not just any. It was her foal. A little filly no less and possibly the most adorable little thing ever.

“What?” she asked as she was met with the returning gaze of her own little filly. She could feel her own heart melting at the sight that occurred next, as the little one cooed while raising her hooves up to her mother. Nightmare’s expression softened even more when it happened, lowering her head to meet the gaze of her daughter. “You caused me quite a bit of pain, you know...” she grumbled, earning a boop on the end of her muzzle as a response. This made her sigh. ‘I want to be angry...’ she considered, ‘but...I simply can’t...’ She received another boop on the nose soon after. “I...can’t be mad at you...” she sighed in defeat. The little filly cooed in response, once again booping her mother on the nose. ‘What am I going to do with you?’

That was the most important question for Nightmare as she leaned in to nuzzle the filly affectionately. She cared now, she couldn’t deny that. For the first time, she actually knew what it was like to truly care for another living being instead of herself. Was this what love was? She didn’t know exactly, but she rather liked it. It was why she seemed so lost in what course of action she should possibly take. All the possibilities were limited, she didn’t really have much she could do beyond this point. It was only as she began to nuzzle her recently born daughter that it finally dawned on her. What would happen to this foal if she was captured?

That was the first thing that came to mind as she felt the very loving contact of the filly. It was unlike anything she had felt before. Even with Luna’s memories to assist her, this was on a whole other level. She couldn’t find words to compare to the euphoria that traveled through her body. It seemed soothing, yet joyful at the very same time. She didn’t just care for this little filly. No, it was more than that. It was only after eleven months of struggle and what seemed like an eternity of sheer agony had she realized it. She had grown to love the little filly.

It was here she finally began to understand some of the memories she had inherited from Luna. It was in this moment that she was beginning to truly understand what it meant to be a pony in the first place. Not only that, but she was even beginning to understand what it meant to be a mother and what it meant to have feelings in the first place. It was a truly wonderful feeling she had in this moment. Heartwarming even, a far cry to what she had been over a thousand years ago. Nightmare remembered those days very vividly too and as she thought about them, it came with an uneasiness. Which was strange, because she hadn’t felt like this before.

It made her stomach sink just thinking about it. As she recalled the memories it only made her feel worse. She didn’t know where these feelings came from, but they made her think and think relatively hard as she glanced back up to through the window. In that one moment, it hit her. She felt a very dreadful and almost physically painful feeling travel over her. Just recalling all that she had done, even before she had gained this body made her absolutely sick to her stomach.

‘I’m a Nightmare...’ she acknowledged, finally feeling the true remorse of all that she had done. It was in that moment too that another thought came to mind. One that made her just facehoof at how contrived it truly was. ‘No...I’m not a Nightmare, I’m an idiot. Eternal night? Even Luna must see that’s a bad idea by now...nothing would survive without the sun. Especially ponies...and what would be the point in ruling Equestria then? Everypony would be dead.’ It didn’t need very much thought to see the flaw in the grand scheme of it all. Nightmare cursed herself, just lowering her head again, this time onto a pillow. The mare sat in silence after that for a good five minutes at most. She would’ve sat longer had it not been for the crawling around of her daughter, whom seemed to want her mother’s attention again.

The filly didn’t cry, the filly didn’t fuss very much. Instead, she seemed to just move up to her mother’s face and hug her. It was as if she knew her mother was troubled, which in turn made Nightmare smile. She felt comforted a little as she glanced at her daughter. Was this little filly truly a curse? Or had she been a blessing for the mare? Had becoming pregnant actually assisted her in unseen ways? Had it even saved her life? She didn’t know this, but it certainly felt like it. Nightmare’s hoof moved around the filly slowly. Earning another strange sound as a response.

“That’s right...” she whispered, “Momma loves you...” Those words seemed to resonate with the filly when they were spoken. Causing a giggle in pure joy before she fell onto her flank. This caused Nightmare to laugh in response. “How is it that something that caused me so much trouble...is so cute at the same time...” she wondered this for another good couple of minutes. Nightmare observed the behavior of the filly for the next several minutes afterward. Watching as she stood up again and back over to her stomach. Or more precisely, her engorged breasts.

Upon delivery the first question she had was how would she feed her foal? But instead of letting a logical mind and fears overtake her, she merely let instinct handle the entire situation. It was then she received an answer and quite a bit of relief. She was glad she could provide comfort and food for the filly. She actually felt like a pretty decent mother, even with the circumstances. Deep down though, this also helped her realize something else. That she wouldn’t be able to care for the filly for very much longer.

‘If I get caught now...she’s a goner...’ Nightmare considered, watching as the filly began to suckle on one of her teats. It was a true statement too, because no matter which way she swung it, the filly wouldn’t survive. What would happen if she told Luna about this? What would befall the filly then? While there was a distinct possibility of her counterpart being merciful and kind it wasn’t very likely. It was too much of a risk to even speak of this. ‘Plus...what would Celestia do if she discovered it too?’ The very instant that question popped into her head, she grew scared. Who knows what either princess would do to this filly! No way, she couldn’t risk anything with that. There has to be an alternative.

Nightmare’s thoughts shifted the very moment she felt the familiar sensation travel up her spine. This pulled her focus from a possible plan on how to deal with the problem she was facing onto her daughter again. At first she appeared annoyed by it, but eventually became soothed by the sensation. The mare’s mental focus remained on her nursing daughter for a couple of minutes before soon returning to what it had been. This time met with new inspiration as a result of the nursing.

‘Perhaps I should try and care for her?’ Nightmare contemplated, ‘We could take shelter in the Ancient Castle....’ That thought seemed to trail off into the distance however as it was met with an endless list of fears and dangers for the filly. Plus, adding in the fact it was in the Everfree along with not being able to watch her all the time. It was really an even worse idea than the Eternal Night one. She only smacked her face with a pillow at that point. ‘No, I can’t do that to her...she needs friends as well as a good life!’ she sighed, ‘What else is there?’ For the next fifteen minutes, Nightmare continued to rack her brain for possible ideas. Yet, all of them were foolish and even a bit selfish. It wasn’t until she actually finished her meal that it finally came to her.

If she used Luna’s memories as a point of reference, this would be the hardest decision of her life. Just thinking about it for even a second made tears form in Nightmare’s eyes. She didn’t want to do something like that at all. She would rather face an eternity in Tartarus than do that, but it was a possibility. She could always give her up. Perhaps to an orphanage...maybe then a nice family would adopt her. She wanted to be selfish in this situation, but found herself unable to. No matter how hard she tried, deep down she truly did know what was best for her daughter.

‘But...what if nopony adopts her?’ she asked, ‘What if...they abuse her?’ Those thoughts popped right into her mind the very instant the word orphanage left it. It was a risk, a very big risk on her part. ‘Wait! I could always give her to somepony...?’ That in particular might be a better option for her. But whom? Who would be the best choice to take care of this little filly? It was then and only then when everything finally fell into place. A very evil smile spread across her face as she glanced down at her daughter.

Swiftly and silently Nightmare moved through the streets of Canterlot. In her mouth she carried a basket and not just any either. This particular basket now contained her precious sleeping filly. It was startling how swiftly she could move too, even with that basket. It would put the Lunar Guard to shame with the simple fact that she was able to avoid even the slightest detection from them as she snuck through the streets. She had to be cautious though and for good reason. She feared what would happen to her precious gift if she was caught.

The Lunar Guard wasn’t much trouble. The real problem was gauging her movements carefully. Ensuring that the basket didn’t move to erratically as she attempted to stay out of sight. Magic was another risk to her plans at this point. While she could just as easily teleport into Canterlot Castle, she didn’t dare. She didn’t want to take a single risk in this situation, given it was her daughter’s future on the line. Which is why she had taken to the streets first. This way she could actually use her eyes instead of relying on pure luck.

It worked too, as she found it rather easy to slip past a fair amount of the Lunar Guard. Even avoiding detection from Batponies, which is where her greatest worry lied. She feared making even just a single mistake around one, given how sensitive their hearing was. Which is why she had to trot carefully and observe even more carefully just to ensure she got to the next alleyway undetected.

Nightmare continued through Canterlot in this manner for the next two hours. Taking each step very cautiously and only using magic out of pure necessity. While she did have a few close calls, especially when her daughter began to fuss a little. Making very soft noises. Thankfully though, she remained mostly undetected. At least until she crossed paths with a batpony. What hope she had vanished in a matter of seconds as the filly began to fuss. The noises caught the attention of just one single passing batpony, which in return caused him to draw closer to the alleyway. As he did, his eyes shifted all through it, before centering right on the mare.

“Halt!” he ordered, “State your name and explain why you are out at this hour!” his bright yellow orbs inched down just slightly, Glancing at the basket that contained the little filly. There were an abundance of reasons why Batponies were considered the best for Lunar Guard duties. One of which was their sonar-like hearing and the other was their incredible night vision. It was this combination that made them highly important to Luna and Nightmare knew this very clearly.

‘Horsefeathers...’ Nightmare cursed, beginning to panic as she complied with his request. She began to step forward, all the while making an attempt at trying to figure out the best possible course of action she could take. Perhaps she should just surrender now? Maybe it was for the best she was captured here. At least she could say it was by another creature of the night. At least she could even say she had been stopped by Luna’s soldiers. It was only when she was reminded of what she carried in her mouth that she realized her own foolishness. ‘No...I will not be captured until she is in safe hooves...’

That one thought caused a knee jerk reaction in Nightmare. She didn’t even take another second to consider what she was going to do and instead her horn lit up very bright before both her and the filly vanished completely from the batpony’s sight. She knew this would immediately raise the alarm and she wouldn’t have much time after it before they began to track her. Which was why she focused on one thing. While she didn’t know its exact location, she hoped magic would at least give her a bit of assistance in this matter. That luck actually paid off rather well as she found herself appearing right outside a door within the castle.

Upon appearing at the door, she pushed it open very slowly. Inside she saw a dark blue alicorn sprawled out on his bed, which only made her smile. Whether it had been pure luck or through her desire to ensure the safety of her daughter, she would never know nor would she have time to find out. Instead she placed the basket very gently onto the ground, just inside the door and hopefully out of sight of any passersby. Along with it she set a note, being sure to tuck it just out of reach of the filly, coupled with it she tucked a silver necklace in.

“I know you won’t understand this...” she whispered, as tears fell from her eyes. “I want you to know, that while I didn’t have much time to spend with you...” she paused, choking on her own words. “That no matter what happens to me...I will always be with you...and I will always love you...” she smiled, placing a very soft kiss on the forehead of the little filly. Taking one final moment to even hold her very close. In her heart, she knew this was the right thing. This was the best thing she could do for her only daughter. ‘My precious Eclipse...’

Author's Note

Feels, feels and more feels.