The Royal Canterlot Gift Exchange
THE EVE OF THE WARMING OF THE HEARTH
The night was beautiful.
The velvety black of the moonlit sky starkly contrasted with the small bulbs of light resiliently shining from their places within the trees, collecting snow as he soft flurries drifted downward from small clouds. The bulbs burned different colors; some red, others green or white. Sweethearts strolled these gardens in the soft light emanating from the trees.
A mare that was a deep shade of azure not unlike the star-ridden sky above stood outdoors upon a terrace, high above the ground, wearing nothing but her own skin and feathers. A deep sigh exhaled from her body as she glanced up at the stars.
The stars glimmered and winked at their dark blue onlooker as if trying to impress her.The alicorn lit her horn and effortlessly lifted the wolf moon high into the night sky. {For those who won't know what a wolf moon is, it is the night he moon is closest to earth. Or in this case, Equus.}
The moon glided into place like a well oiled machine. Luna smiled with satisfaction that never faded from raising the moon. A large feathered wing folded across her back, pulling her closer to its owner.
"You've outdone yourself tonight, Luna." Celestia said warmly, not taking her gaze from the stars.
Luna glanced down at the passerby. "Doesn't look like they notice." she said ruefully.
"Oh come on, Lulu." Celestia said playfully, nudging her sister. "It's almost Hearth's Warming Day. They'll be focused on... Other areas, if you know what I mean."
Luna turned beet red, which was quite a feat considering her natural midnight blue coloring. "Bu- but sister, thou doesn't mean--"
Celestia grinned wickedly. "I do."
Luna's red face turned stark white. "I thinkest.... I think I should lay down for a little while." she murmured.
Celestia patted her back. "I think I'll tell you about clop tomorrow, dear Luna. When my video camera comes in."
Luna stumbled back into her room in dazed, zombie-like state, disregarding Celestia's comment. She collapsed on her Princess-sized mattress from VanTinkle's Matress Depot. She didn't sleep a wink for fear of dreaming about the areas her sister was referring to.
THE MORNING OF THE WARMING OF THE HEARTH
The plush train car smelled of vanilla.
Rarity's intoxicating vanilla perfume drifted throughout the entire train itself, bringing on a fresh wave of cheer in the tired Hearth's Warming Day travelers.
"I'm so excited! This'll be the first holiday with Cadence as my sister!" Twilight rubbed her hooves together in anticipation.
"And my first away from Ponyville. And RD's away from Cloudsdale. Pinkie's away from the rock farm. Point is, sugarcube, this is a Hearth's Warming as full of firsts as a ZapApple© is of Sweetly Sour Goodness!" Applejack beamed in an opposite direction than the purple unicorn, muttering something about patents pending.
"Oh Twilight, would you be a dear and close that window? I'm getting chilly," Rarity called from across the car. "I'm getting a draft."
"Rarity..." Twilight began, but Rainbow Dash slammed the window shut. "Rainbow Dash, why did you--"
"Shh," the pegasus hushed Twilight whilst glancing out every window with wide eyes. After a few moments, she finished up, uttering only one word, "Windigos."
Twilight scrunched her eyebrows. "Windi- oh Rainbow Dash, tell me you're not."
"What, no, I'm totally not scared of wind," she laughed nervously. "I'm a pegasus. A weather pegasus, at that." She gave no further denial.
"Rainbow Dash, there's so many other things in the world to be scared of than a couple clouds shaped like ponies," Twilight said.
"Yes, like Slendermane!" Fluttershy gasped.
"Or timberwolves!"
"Or failing a test!" Twilight said eagerly.
Everypony looked at the bookish unicorn, who then coughed. "Carry on."
"Going outside naked!" Rarity shuddered underneath several layers of clothing.
"Your teeth falling out!" called Colgate.
"Getting caught with hands!" Lyra shouted.
Pinkie Pie climbed out of the seat next to the now-seated Rainbow Dash.. "Yeah, like not getting adopted because you're a stupid, untalented pink earth pony that's not special like the other unicorns or pegasi!"
"Pinkie, you do realize that you grew up on a rock farm... with your family, right?" Twilight asked. "And you are pretty special."
"Of course, ya silly filly! That was other Pinkie talking!" Pinkie Pie bounced across the aisle, a smile plastered across her face. "By the way, we're here!"
The train slowed down as they miraculously pulled into Grand Central Canterlot Station, like the one in Manehattan. It's grand. And it's central. Although it's more central than the one in Manehattan because y'know, capital of Equestria and all that.
They managed to trot out of the station after Twilight threatened a tall stallion gesturing for them to join him in a corner. A collective aww! was heard from unseen sources in said alley.
Canterlot Castle. Breathtakingly glorious in its sheer beauty during the wintertime, few have had the honor of staying there as a pris- esteemed guest. The group of six climbed the many flights of stairs to reach the throne room.
"Did you get Luna a present?" Twilight asked.
"Heh, of course. I got her-" Rainbow Dash groped the inside of her bag for said gift. She felt a thin flat rectangle and recoiled her cyan hoof back. "Mortal Kombat."
"Only Mortal Kombat? Rainbow, you know full well that she likes Resident Evil or Portal!" Twilight scolded the airborn pegasus.
"Don't worry dear, I got her Skyrim and Oblivion," Rarity called from the flight of stairs above. She turned to scowl at the staircase in front of her. "Applejack, do hurry up."
"Consarn it, Rarity! How'd ya get me lassoed into helping you?" Applejack shouted from underneath the massive pillar of bags climbing the stairs behind Twilight. "Now Ah know how Sweetie Belle felt on that campin' trip."
When they made it to the throne room, two guards were posted outside the tall double doors. One swiveled a single eye toward the six. "Princess Sparkle?" he asked.
Twilight blushed. "Please, call me Twilight. Jut because my brother married Cadence, I'm not a Princess."
The other guard nodded and opened the doors, one with blue magic, the other with gold.
A long rug was leading up to a pair of thrones occupied by a midnight blue alicorn and the other by a white alicorn with a flowing tetracolor mane.
"Twilight!" the white coated one raised a glass of red wine in welcoming. "Good to see you! We're celebrating, join us."
"The fun has been..." Luna counted the quantity of new arrivals. "Multiplied by six!"
"Welcome to the party, it'll be great!" Cadence trotted up behind them.
"Cadence!" Twilight smiled. "Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake–" she started dancing with her foalsitter.
"–clap your hooves and do a little shake!" Cadence finished the jig. She hugged the lavender unicorn. "I missed you, ya silly filly."
"Yeah, I missed you too, Cadence. Where's Shining Armor?" Twilight asked her sister-in-law.
"He's finishing up wrapping the presents in the train car. You know, I might have a present on me for you right now." Cadence said mischievously.
"Really? What is it?" Twilight said eagerly, not reading Cadence's tone.
In response, Cadence pinned Twilight to the ground and tickled her, Twilight's filly-high giggle piercing the throne room. Her friends either smiled or full-out bleated laughter. Luna looked on in mild interest whilst her sister's pupils grew and wings spread rapidly. Something about swag was muttered under her alcohol scented breath.
"Cadence, are you killing Twiley?" a horrified voice said from the doorway.
Cadence looked up from giving Twilight a raspberry. "Oh, hi Shiny. I was giving Twilight a present."
Shining Armor winked. "Yeah. A present. Speaking of which, I have some for all of you."
"Awesome! Oh and uh, Princess Luna?" Rainbow Dash asked the regent of the night.
"Yes, Rainbow Dash?" Luna answered.
"We open our presents at night now."
Her eyes sparked with joy. "They have finally recognized our beauty to maximize picturesque serenity as the fillies and colt open their gifts!"
Rainbow nodded as she remembered her own childhood Hearth's Warming. The room was more of a flurry of shredded paper and cardboard than anything else. "Yep." she said. "Serenity."
"Twilight, I believe you owe me a rematch." Celestia called from across the room.
"Rematch? In what?"
"Ping pong!" Celestia singsonged and materialized a table of said sport. She sported neon blue and black spandex and a azure bandana held her spectral mane back.
Twilight looked down at herself, not at all surprised to find herself wearing the same style of clothing, only the blue was replaced with crimson. She suddenly felt empowered, like she could take on the world before breakfast. "It's on."
"Tag team!" Rarity called, clad in the same style and levitating a paddle of the same likeness out of seemingly nowhere.
Luna wore cyan and black as she joined her sister preparing for the epic battle of their lives.
"Eye of the tiger!" Shining Armor called. "Red versus Blue!"
"Bring it, Princess." Twilight turned a convenient nearby orange into a ping pong ball. "Spuds, cherry pong, balls of fury on." She served the red ball and it turned blue upon impact on enemy lines.
Celestia deftly volleyed the ball back. "You have forgotten the ways of the pong, Twilight Sparkle. You are weak!"
"Am I?" she slammed the ball on the Princess' side, sending it soaring into the air.
"Luna, go!"
Luna backstroked through the air and hurled it to Rarity. "Stitch this!"
"Fus ro dah!" Rarity swung her paddle wildly, barely hitting the ball. Luna, however, dropped to the ground in sheer shock. Fus ro dah was just so... so... wrong in ping pong.
Her tiara clattered to the cold stone floor as she lay on it's surface, pondering life.
Revenge was soon Celestia's as she tore a hole in Rarity's holly green scarf, revealing orange innards. The fashionista fainted on the spot at such a crime against fabulosity.
The heated war went on for about an hour. Cadence made paper snowflakes and Shining Armor read the Shiny Swords & Fitch magazine. Rainbow Dash went to the ballroom to practice her flying while Applejack baked her smuggled apples into a pie in the kitchens. Fluttershy and Pinkie just fell asleep on the thrones, heads lolling slightly off the armrests.
It all ended when Twilight surged the last of her energy into one massive spike. The offending ball got lodged in Celestia's throat.
Twilight hopped around in a frenzy as Celestia's eyes bugged out of her head. She clutched her throat and fell to the floor in Twilight's route. Twilight ran over the Princess in her frantic bounce escapade. The ball was launched from he throat and it went flying into a tofurkey that was being wheeled into the room.
Princess Celestia sat up and coughed. " I'm a little–" she coughed. "–disappointed for the lack of mouth-to-mouth. But thanks for saving me."
Twilight blushed. "Princess..."
Luna got up and whispered in Twilight's ear. "She's been like this lately. Perverted jokes and wishes. I think it was brought on by Cadence's wedding."
Twilight nodded. "But she's–"
"Don't question her. Once you go alicorn, you never go back." Luna whispered. "Ever."
Twilight was beet red. "Okay, everypony, let's go eat some tofurkey!" she shouted a little too cheerfully.
And then they ate. Things went relatively well until the cake arrived.
Not going into grisly detail, Twilight wasn't going to look at glue, a table, carpeting, or a clock the same way again.
"So much frosting...." Fluttershy whimpered while Pinkie Pie hugged her friend, a faraway look in her eye.
"I think I have batter up my–" Rainbow Dash shook. She couldn't finish the statement before collapsing and shaking on the floor.
Cadence leaned back in her seat, smiling with lips coated with pale pink crumbs and frosting. "That was some good cake. You guys really should have tried some."
Applejack started crying.
"Cadence, I have to ask you a question. Do you like bananas?" Celestia asked before curling into a quivering ball on the floor. "Never mind."
It's getting late. Let's go open the presents." Cadence announced.
"Remind me to poison the cake next year."
"You do that, Twilight."
Twilight levitated her friends off the stone floor.
