The Struggle

by Sentiment

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1084

Spike deals with his feelings after gazing into the Nightmarium.

Spike deals with his feelings after gazing into the Nightmarium and asks Twilight, "Why am I here?"

Published 2012-11-22 12:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-22 12:20:01 UTC

The Struggle

“Twilight...”

...

...

“Yes Spike?”

...

...

“Why are we here?”

…

...

The groan of springs croaked in the night air, and the “clop” of hooves hitting wood ringed throughout the Books n’ Branches Library. The purple equine form of Twilight Sparkle neared the window of her home. Resting on the windowsill, a small shadow hug itself, highlighted by the moon.

“Why in the world are you awake Spike?” Twilight asked, rubbing the sleepiness from her eyes. Taking a quick glance at her desk side clock, she saw it was 2:00 in the morning.

“Just couldn’t sleep Twi.” Spike sighed. “Too much on my mind.”

“You’re a baby dragon, Spike. You shouldn’t have much on your mind, except for gems and naps.”

Spike turned, his arms still around his legs, his chin resting on his knees. “Twilight, why are we here?”

“Why are we here?” Twilight repeated, “I don’t understand what you mean?”

Spike shifted again, turning his back to Twilight and gazing out over Ponyville.

“Why were we put on Equestria, Twi? Was I meant to help you learn about friendship, or was I meant to become a fire-breathing, gem eating monster? Why am I alive Twilight? Who put me here?”

“Well that depends on what you believe Spike.”

Spike lowered his head, covering his eyes with his knees.

The two sat in silence.

...

...

Twilight gazed into the celestial sphere. Stars twinkled and danced slowly across the sky. She caught the glimpse of a shooting star crossing the night’s sky as she watched Spike.

He’s finally growing up...

...

She smiled.

Suddenly, Spike raised his head again, little dragon tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

“Twilight, why am I here?” he asked, almost pleading for an answer.

...

“Spike, there is no fact or figure that I can say that will help you find that answer. You’ll have to find it on your own.”

“But Twilight, why do I feel this way?”

…

Twilight’s horn glistened as an enormous, blue book levitated towards Twilight. It was worn with age, pages were wrinkled at the edge and scuff marks were everywhere. Pony Physiology and Psychology was printed on the spine in gold lettering. Twilight flipped the pages until she found just the right one.

“This book says It’s known as “The Struggle” Spike. It's main purpose was to mark the coming of age of ponies before the Age of Cute Marks. Every living thing goes through it. This is just your mind growing older and wiser. You have questions, very important questions, that you want to be answered, but only you can answer them.”

Twilight cast the book aside, rose her hoof, and stroke Spikes head as he returned to his fetal position.

Stars twinkled and the moon rose and fell as the night went on. An hour passed and then another, but still the pair sat, embraced. Twilight felt helpless, but she knew she couldn’t help Spike with this battle.

Another few minutes passed before Spike rose his head again.

“Twilight, why do you think you’re here?”

“We’ve all gone through the same thing Spike. Rarity, Applejack and even Pinkie Pie have had the same question. It’s different for everypony. I remember when I went through the Struggle. It took weeks before I found my answer. Do you know how I found my answer?" Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow at spike and grinning.

"Oh I don't know Twilight."

"It was when I did my first ever difficult spell in front of my parents. I had been wondering if magic was really what I wanted to study and I wasn't sure if I was good at it, but when I was able to juggle my parents with levitation, it made me realize I was great with magic! I realized that I wanted to make it my life, and so I took my test for Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns and..."

"That's how Equestria was made Twilight, I get it" Spiked giggled to himself. Twilight smiled at his mirth.

"But to answer your question Spike, I think I’m here to have fun, learn about friendship, and raise a specific little, baby dragon.”

Twilight rubbed her assistants head at his mention.

Spike gave a little smile.

"What's been making you think this way Spike?"

...

Spike turned away and stared at the ground.

"Ever since I stared into the Nightmarium and saved the Empire, I've been having these thoughts..."

"Spike, that was months ago, you’re still thinking about the Nightmarium?"

"It was scary Twi. You’ve felt it too. The fear of it all grabs you and won't let go!" Spike turned to look at her again, tears forming again. A mixture of both fear and frustration. "I don't want you to send me away Twi...”

Tears welled in Spike’s eyes as Twilight grabbed him and held him close.

…

The two sat in silence again before Twilight asked in a sweet motherly tone, “Do you know why you’re here now?”

...

Spike pulled his head out of Twilight’s mane, “Not yet, but I will eventually.”

“Good, now go back to bed. You’ve been up all night and baby dragons need their sleep.”

Twilight’s horn glowed as her assistant floated through the air, thumb in his mouth. Placing Spike in his basket and covering him with his blanket, Twilight gave him a quick kiss on the forehead and returned to the window.

Celestia’s sun rose in the sky erasing all remnants of the night. Warmth filled Twilight’s coat and body as the new day just barely began.

In a few hours, everypony will wake up and the day will go on normally. Nopony will know about Spike’s journey tonight...hopefully he found his answer. Or at least part of it.

Turning to her podium, Twilight placed a fresh piece of parchment and began to write...

Dear Princess Celestia,

Tonight has been a magical night. One of your youngest subjects has finally come to ask and wonder about his place in the world. His curiosity frustrated him and the only pony he could turn to was me. Confusion can be a terrible thing alone, but a friend can always show you the way.

Your Student,

Twilight Sparkle

Twilight's horn glowed as she sent her letter to Canterlot.

She turned and returned to bed for a few more minutes before she began her next day in the magical land of Equestria.

(A big Thank You to ~XxWingsxOnxVenxX on DeviantArt for their picture)