Garden of Chaos

Oh, hello. Didn't see you there. I can't really move my head because of, you know, being a statue and all.

As you can read from this dingy plaque, I am Discord, the god of chaos.

Wait! Don't leave!

Yes, you can hear me in your head but don't run away! ...Okay, I'll be frank with you.

I am so unbelievably, undeniably, completely and utterly BORED. No one visits me, and when they do, they just scoff like they're some kind of perfect creature. Reveling in one's flaws is my shtick, so I can understand why they do that, but it's STILL rude!

I've been keeping myself occupied telling stories to ponies that happen by, and this one is just one of those 'what if' scenarios that I oh so love to play out in my head. Care to listen? No? Well then don't stand there with an idiotic look on your face if you don't want to hear it.

Still listening? Good. I'm sure you're aware of the Elements of Harmony, yes? Those six ponies managed to defeat me and seal me back in this stone prison (and in a very unflattering position, if I may add) all because of that meddling Twilight Sparkle and her "friendship."

Disgusting, I know.

Well, that day I was just going easy on them. They were just six pathetic little ponies! I had no idea of their capabilities! Had I known earlier that they would do this to me, I would have been far more cruel.

And I like entertaining this idea. I oh, so like entertaining this idea of what I would do to them. I would make them so irreversibly destroyed that they would never be able to oppose me in a million years.

So, if you're not too terribly revolted by my presence, I'd like to tell you all about what I would have done that fateful day in the garden.

Don't worry, if you don't find it as funny as I do, you can at least be mildly entertained for a little while.