Ripples

CHAPTER 10

Emotions

        Emotions. A pony is not a pony without emotions. Emotions are the driving force behind all which ponies do, be it thinking, talking, creating, learning, or even killing. Emotions are very delicate, and a balance of all emotions must be found to maintain peace and order within one’s mind. Some may be more resistant to disorder of emotions than others, but every emotional being has a breaking point.

Many emotions exist. Happiness, laughter, sadness, anger, longing, anxiety, the list goes on and on. But two emotions stand out for their immense importance. The first emotion is a very special emotion to feel. It may be very difficult to find this emotion within you, but this emotion is extremely important regardless. It is love. Love is a wonderful, terrible, crazy, and peaceful thing. Love creates new bonds, love destroys old bonds. Love can be considered the ‘chaos emotion’. Love might also be the root emotion of many other emotions, good or bad. But without love, ponies would ultimately die, leaving the world to rot. Love is the driving force behind the successful life of ponies, and a species cannot live forever without it.The other emotion is what keeps ponies happy. Without being happy, there is no will to live. Without a will to live, there is no will to survive. This emotion is more than just an emotion. It is also a bond between ponies, a way to vent other emotions, a way to meet new ponies. This emotion is friendship. True friendship is an everlasting bond between two or more ponies, not just a status label. Friendship is the ultimate cause of happiness, even if it may occasionally falter. Friends grow apart, friends have disagreements, friends may even hurt each other. But true friendship will never break. If a pony does not find true friendship, they will be miserable and will not find the happiness they need to live a successful life and survive. Love is what creates the world around you, friendship is what keeps it spinning.

~ ~ ~

        I collapsed in a small hole in the ground. I breathed more heavily than ever before, and I was in immense shock. The sun was now setting. I had run for an hour, stopping when I thought I saw a settlement in the distance. If what Captain said was true, that would be Appleoosa. The land of the Resistance.        What had Captain done? Who could be so important as to make him do...that? Sand from the roof of the hole fell into my eye. I shook my head and blinked. Why does everything I begin to know, or even begin to like, get taken away from me? Any time I become familiar with something, comfortable around it, it is taken away from me or destroyed.        I began to cry. Not a cry from physical wounds. It was a terrible cry. Not only had I lost my home, my memory, and my sense of self, but I also lost a friend. The first pony I became close enough to call a friend. We went on a little adventure together, sort of. We had seen action, and learned many lessons in the short time we were together. What happened to Captain? What happened to me?        A tear rolled down my cheek and landed on the floor. My sadness was so strong it was like I could hear it inside that tear. A part of me had been torn away, as soon as I broke out of the prison of PT. Life had been easy when everything was done for me. I may not remember what it was like, and it sounded extremely painful, but I had no responsibilities other than just existing. Everything was not under my control, it just happened. When I broke free, I became a new pony. It may have been a change for the better, but I still changed. Being free was so easy. I could see anything, it was like I was destined to find Rage and Fury. Everything happened right in front of me, nothing was hard to figure out. It was like Celestia herself was watching over, ensuring I would triumph no matter what.        When I lost my memory in Rage and Fury’s house...everything was stripped away. I was a blank slate. Nothing was left. I retained my ability to speak and my ability to reason, but any sense of self was washed away. Nothing was left of the old me. Super, uber-observant me. The me which could find a tiny pony-sized hole to escape. A hole nopony else was ever able to find, not even me after...it happened. I could learn how to walk, talk, and run in ten seconds flat. That was gone.        The first time I felt of any importance since the incident, like I could do something, was when I met Captain. He took me in, almost like a child. He taught me how to live and survive, he showed me what the real world was like. The real world was a horrible, horrible place. Ponies died all over, for many reasons. Starvation, disease, violence, and war. Some old age, some died in pregnant mothers. Some died at birth. Death may be a natural thing, but not every cause is natural. There’s enough natural death to go around, there is no reason to make it any worse.        I finally laid down in the hole. Tears streamed down my cheeks, they created a puddle on the floor. Captain had showed me life. Life was the last thing a pony has that can be taken away. If a pony has nothing else; no home, no food, no friends, they have life. But even life can be taken away.        Captain showed me why I must live. If I give up and die, the world would never become a better place. I may not be able to fix everything on my own, but I can sure try. I thought Captain was invincible, the wise hero of Equestria that would save us all. I don’t know anymore. There was something he wasn’t telling me. This...Greenstrike. Who was she? Why was she so important? But most of all, what about Captain? Will he ever be the same?        I began to sleep in that hole. Not a peaceful sleep, nor comfortable. It was rest from a really, really long and stressful day.

~ ~ ~

        Rage sat in the premium lounge of the Resistance headquarters. Only the top performers had access, and only three ponies were considered ‘top performers’ - Rage, Sawblade, and Greenstrike.        Rage laid on a very comfortable couch, eating delicious frosting-covered pastries. Sawblade and Greenstrike were out on a mission, but rage had a day off for his exceptional performance on his last mission. His earpiece beeped, and the Leader’s voice sounded.        “I apologize if I’m being a bother, but we have a slight problem,” he told Rage.        “Nu pwubluhm,” Rage said with a mouthful of sugary bread.        “Good. We have somepony awfully close, he found a hole in the ground to sleep in. I don’t like it when ponies sleep near our property.”        Rage swallowed. “Don’t you have turrets or something?”        The Leader laughed. “But then it isn’t as fun. Besides, I think I know who that pony is. He’s been following the leader of the Rebellion all over the place, seems to be in close relations with him.”        “Does he have any firearms?” Rage asked, standing up to prepare for the mission.        “Just a cheap shotgun, shouldn’t be a problem if he doesn’t wake up.” There was a click, and the Leader was gone.        The eyepiece Rage was wearing gave him a map marker in his augmented vision. He equipped his BUCK-47 assault rifle and headed toward the waypoint. Easy job.

~ ~ ~

        A drop of cold water hit my side. My eyes slowly opened. Another drop landed on my eye, making me blink. Rain? Perfect way to make feeling like shit even more shitty. I slowly stood up, and shook off the water. I collected my bags and shotgun, ready to leave and get the hell out of this place. I didn’t specifically want to come so close to Appleoosa, but I didn’t have any kind of navigation to show the way anywhere else. Where else was there to go besides Baltimare?        I walked out of the hole. Wet sand began glopping on my face, so I stepped out and shook it off. Is it safe to go back to Dodge City? Is Captain still there? Is he...sane again? I don’t know. I don’t have anywhere else to go or do, so I’ll take my chances.        I looked at the direction of Appleoosa. I had come from...I looked to the right. That way. I started trotting. Most of my life since the incident has been walking. Walking was almost synonymous with breathing at this point. My hooves glopped through the sand as I trotted back the way I came. Walking. Something flashed in the corner of my vision. What was that? I looked towards it, but all I could see were clouds and rain. Nothing. Rain must have flew by my face or something. I returned back to my walking...again. Except this time, through increasingly harsh rain.

~ ~ ~

        I finally made it to my destination - Dodge City. The rain had gotten so bad, my blue mane drooped across my face and I was soaking wet. No matter how many times I tried to fling it away, it just came back. I had given up and just started dealing with vision from one eye.        Dodge City was a nightmare. Citizens’ bodies lay strewn across the ground at awkward angles, maimed by bullet holes. Blood was everywhere, sprayed across buildings and pathways. Dodge City hadn’t looked as big when we were first here, but I never gave it much thought. The main square, where the old glorified trailer which houses Dodge Firearms resides, was the bloodiest. The residential district, where many dilapidated houses stood, was also littered with bodies. Nothing appeared to still be living. I made my way to that bench and the fountain.        The fountain had been on a slight dip in elevation, so the blood runoff from the rain pooled here. The bench had been turned over and broken in two, and the noticeboard also lay flat on the ground. The papers had either torn off or lay soaking wet on top of it.        Inside the fountain was the worst thing I had seen by far. A body lay there, covered completely in blood. Scars were everywhere, and bullet wounds dotted his body. He was breathing, but very lightly and irregularly. Much of his mane had been torn out, or soaked in blood. One of his ears had the tip ripped off, and it had scabbed over. It was covered in blood. His body lay in a very awkward position, inside the fountain. And on top of the bench was a bloody, severed gray wing. I looked at the body.        Captain...

~ ~ ~

        The rain had stopped, leaving the sky a dull cloudy gray once again. Every attempt to awaken Captain had proved to be a failure. He continued breathing, but made no sign of consciousness. I went into Dodge Firearms. A wheel of the trailer had been popped, tilting it on its side. All of the old weapons and equipment had slid to the far corner, or at least was lodged out of place. The dealer was dead, strewn across the counter. I investigated the weapons.        They all looked usable, albeit some were soaked in blood. I took a much bigger saddlepack than the one I had, and transferred my items. I took a large assault rifle to replace my shotgun, and put the shotgun in the enormous bag. I also grabbed two pistols, a knife, and ammo for everything. A single pair of armor was under the counter, which I took and put on. It was a little big, but it fit. It was made of iron, painted black. It honestly looked very cool, but what do I care? The face was open and it had some blood on it, but the rest of my body was completely covered. Due to it being somewhat larger than I am, every step produced some clanking noises. It was better than nothing.        Some books on firearm safety and usage were also on the counter, so I took those. The cash register had a grand total of 127 bits in it, which I also put in a separate pouch of the bag. I needed to be ready for whatever the world threw at me.        I stepped down from the elevated floor of the trailer. I went back to Captain, to say one last goodbye. He doesn’t look okay, I don’t think he will survive for long. I stroked his mane gently.        “Hi, Captain,” I whispered. “How’s life?” He didn’t wake up.        I sat on the edge of the fountain, laying a hoof over his body. “I just wanted to say, I’m sorry. Sorry for whatever happened to you. I care, I really do.” A paper blew from the noticeboard, interrupting the still silence.        “It’s okay, Captain. Ponies make mistakes,” I spoke. Maybe he couldn’t hear me, but it was in his good memory that I said it anyway. “I hope you know that you’re the only friend I’ve had. The first pony to call a buddy.” A lone wind blew my wet mane.        “I hope that in the Afterlife, you are forgiven.” Back in Captain’s training, I was taught about the Afterlife and how Celestia watched over us all, welcoming the dead to eternal worry-free care. Captain was not a bad pony. Would Celestia let him in?        A tear once again fell from my cheek, and landed on his eye. I wiped it off with my hoof. I smiled. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, Captain, but...”         "I love you, Captain. You have showed me what it’s meant to be a pony. I’m not a clueless nopony anymore, thanks to you.” I began sniffling. “I’ll miss you, Captain. I really will.”

I slowly climbed into the fountain to lay with him, until his last moments. He deserved to have somepony to comfort him. He comforted me when i needed it, so it’s time to do the same for him. “I love you,” I finally said, and scooted against his body. I closed my eyes. “Thank you.”