From the previous episode:
"Spiderman got caught by the Mane 6 and brought the justice. Unfortunately it wasn't home, so they went to princess Celestia. After he asked them ... nicely to let him go, the ponies got mad for nothing and the princess threw him as a cruel leader, in the moon cannon, damning his faith. Now that he is dead, we shall end this show," the narrator voice said, relieved to get rid off his personal enemy, leaving.
As Spiderman hit the moon, he couldn't withstand the fall, crushing. Fortunately for him, poor Princess Luna got sent on the moon again before she disturbed her sister during ... I think you have enough imagination to know what they were doing. Anyway, after Luna disturbed Celestia's hoof-a-cure (what were you guys thinking?), she didn't even think about it, and banished her yet again on the moon. Don't worry. Princess Luna is sent many times to the moons lately.
Everytime her sister would send her like that, the princess of the night would grab her paper hat and start her Moonstuck adventure!
But, this time was different. She had found a red creature she never saw before. She looked at it for a while, but it didn't breathe. She's been sent for so many times there that she would pity the poor creature for it's cruel faith of meeting her sister.
Using her magic, she brang life back to Spidey. Don't ask me how because Spidey might've been protected by his not-giving-a-fuck powers he obtained in NYC.
"It's not that I give a fuck, which I don't but ... where am I?" Spidey asked the Princess, while he started floating around in his typical I-don't-actually-give-a-fuck position.
"What in the hoof are you?" The princess asked a little bit surprised that her magic actually worked.
"Me? The spider on my back has only 6 legs... my life is a lie..."
Sensing another turbulence from the not-giving-a-fuck force, the narrator guy came back, as stressed as ever, hoping that his feelings were wrong. Unfortunately for him, his feelings were right.
"Weren't you supposed to die!?" the narrator asked Spidey, while some paper sheets noises could be heard. "It was nothing written of you coming back! I made sure of that!"
"I'm sorry. Here, take this," Spidey said as he picked up a tiny moon rock. "This is the only fuck I ever gave."
"-beeps cover his curses that even a sailor would be jealous-"
In the meanwhile, as Spiderman would be fighting with a voice that seemed to come from the sky, Luna was very amused by the scene she was attending.
"Thou amused us, creature!" She told him, using her royal Canterlot voice.
At that moment, Spiderman started to spin all around the place, as her scream got both him and the narrator off guard, scaring them.
Afterwards, Calm, Spidey took a sit on a rock.
"And not a single fuck was given that day," he told Luna, who smiled back.
"Unfor... well, seems like we're stu... Spiderman is going to stay with us more. The directors love the idea of him coming back. But I..."
"Hold on! I'm taking a shit!" Spiderman interrupted the narrator, as he was looking like he was gonna do it.
"Didn't you forget something? Your costume?" the voice asked him.
After taking an official tone, he started to yell at the sky: "Here are your options. Fuck you, I'm Spiderman," He said, counting fingers on his hand.
And, as the argue kept going, princess Luna couldn't help herself not to laugh even harder the whole entire time.
"If you made my sister so angry that she sent you here, then I like you. Not many ponies got this far in annoying her, as I was always sent to the moon," She told Spiderman, capturing his full attention from the narrator.
As the red costumed hero started walking towards the princess, he started floating again.
"Excuse me while I fuck the sky" He said, making her burst into tears of joy.
"But... we will need to wait until we get back..." Princess Luna said disappointed, as she was admiring the Earth.
"Can't you fly?" Spidey asked ironically, imitating a chicken.
"Brilliant idea! But hey ... did you just help me?" The princess asked confused.
After a short while of awkwardness, Spiderman started to yell and run all over the place.
"THIS IS ME! GIVING A FUCK!"
After he got over his enthusiasm, he hopped on Luna's back.
"Giddy up horsey!"
"Excuse me?"
"Giddy up princess horsey!"
Telling herself that she would never understand that odd red creature, she flapped her wings, and started to fly back to Ponyville, totally ignoring any gravity or laws of physics, as Spidey said: "Screw physics!"
"Once we get back, can I count on you?" She asked him as they got in the atmosphere of Earth where they should be falling like a comet, instead of what they were actually doing, having a casual not-give-a-single-fuck talk.
"It's not that I give a fuck, but count on me for what?" Spidey asked his joyride.
"Well, doing what you do best, but to my sister," Luna said, bursting into an evil laughter.
"You two are definitely sisters... but, fuck the police!" Spidey yelled, while waving his hands.
"I'll take that as a yes," the mare replied, as the towers of the Canterlot castle could be seen in the horizon. "Remember, take your time, and come visit as often as possible.
"It's not that I give a fuck but..." His words stopped there as princess Luna dropped him off over a forest.
As he kept falling, he hit a tree ... spot on. "Ouch my arachnads!" He kept yelling on his way down. In the end he stopped on a branch.
"No one understand our love," he said, hugging the branch.
"What will happen next to your beloved here? I totally hate him but ... the money I get from narrating I need. And who will he annoys to hell next?" The narrator guy asked the audience.
~~~~~What should be next?~~~~~
I'm giving you guys the chance to chose what is next! And it seems like it’s Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow A Day Doesn't Keep the Spidey Away
Rainbow A Day Doesn't Keep the Spidey Away
From the previous episode:
“I can’t believe I've still got to do this,” The sounds of a chair squeaking fills the air as the narrator sat down heavily behind his invisible desk in the sky, “previously Spiderman wa-”
“Not that I give a fuck but can we get on with this because I got shit to do” Spiderman said interrupting the narrator.
“I was jus-”
“Put that thought in a letter and post it to someone who gives a fuck, which ain't me” Spidey yelled as he laid back on the tree branch he was on putting his hands behind his head and stretching out into a not giving a fuck pose.
“Didn’t you say you had sh.. stuff to do?” ask the narrator barely holding on to his anger.
“Yes, I’m busy not giving fuck” stated Spidey matter of factly
“PREVIOUSLY” the narrator snapped before stopping and took a deep breath to calm down.
“Previously Spiderman was found dead on the moon by princess Luna, who had also been shot to the moon by her sister ... again as she's been known to do from time to time. Upon finding Spiderman's shattered corpse, the princess of the night decided for some stupid reason to bring him back to life, and then gave our … hero ... a ride back to Earth, where she has left him to-”
“Not give a fuck”
“THAT'S IT!” the narrator got up and flip his invisible desk over before storming off kicking an invisible dog on his way out.
“Not that I give two shits, but he needs to stop giving a fuck so much.” Spidey shrugged his shoulders before getting back to doing nothing.
He took a moment to take in his surroundings or at least as much as he could, without actually getting up or moving, from what he could see he was in a forest ‘No shit, that would explain all the trees’ he told himself and then decided that he really didn’t give that much of a fuck about where he was and settled in for a nap.
A strange noise started to fill the silence of the forest, not that Spidey gave a fuck as he was long asleep. But it became increasingly louder by the second.
Suddenly, much to Spidey's annoyance his spider sense started acting up pulling him out of his slumber.
“Stupid spider sense ... look at all the fuck I almost gave!”
A sudden flash of colour filled Spidey's sight before his world exploded into white, as he was knocked out of his beloved and one time lover tree, hitting the ground hard he was none the worse for wear because he was Spiderman, not that he gave a fuck in his mind.
Shaking his head to clear off his groggy feeling, he spotted a very familiar looking, rainbow maned pony laid spread out on top of him. “I am truly irresistible. Everyone wants a ride on the spider,” Spidey said, striking a stud pose underneath the still dizzy pony.
“Ohhhh ... My head” groaned Rainbow dash as she laid there. She put a hoof to her head, trying to get herself back to senses.
“Don’t worry, a spinning head is normal after a tumble with the Spiderman,” Spidey said smoothly once again, putting his hands back behind his head. “Not that I give a fuck but I did teach Hue Hefner everything he knows.”
“W-wha!” Rainbow's eyes shot open at the sound of Spidey's voice, locking her eyes with his and he somehow visibly winked, despite the fact that he was wearing a mask, but, fuck facts he exclaimed.
Rainbow jumped like burnt, straight up into the air above Spidey, her mind tripping over itself as she took in the sight of the foul mouth creature she had witnessed being shot out of a massive cannon to the moon only yesterday, now laying out on the ground below her giving her a 'not giving a fuck bedroom eyes'.
“H-how?” Was all she could manage to stutter out shocked, confused and a little turned on- No! she shook her head to clear it once again, blaming that last part to the hit to the head she had just received from the crash.
“Because I’m the fucking Spiderman!” Spidey proclaimed as he leapt to his feet again, before shooting his web into the trees and swung off through the forest leaving a stunned Rainbow Dash floating there.
It took a moment for her to register what had just happened “W-what in the ... HEY GET BACK HERE!!” Rainbow Dash then bolted after the strange creature that was now swinging away from her.
Rainbow ducked and weaved between the branches as she followed her prey, her eyes fixed firmly on him as they sped through the forest.
Spidey not really giving a fuck about being chased looked behind him giving his butt a slap he called back to his pursuer “If you want another bit of this sweet meat you gotta move your hot ass faster than that Skittles.”
“S-Shut up!” Rainbow yelled back as her cheeks turned red, driving on harder she chased her tormentor out into a clearing just avoiding hitting another tree as she was distracted by Spidey's toned ass cheeks, ‘it's just the blow to the head, just the blow to the head.’ she kept telling herself “When I get my hooves on you they won’t need a cannon to sent you back to the moon!” Yelled the increasingly aggravated rainbow maned pegasus.
“What do you mean I won't get paid if I don’t finish?” An off screen voice mumbled something to the narrator but was too quiet for anyone but the narrator to hear,
“Yeah bu- I know bu- WHAT! … Fine …” the sounds of shuffling papers barely covered the sounds of the narrators disgruntled muttering.
“Will our hero esca-”
“HEY look this is me not giving a fuck!” Spidey yelled out to the narrator, causing him to let out a primal scream that would make a caveman proud.
“YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO! … no I’m done, see? finished! Now give me my damn paycheck... End of the month!? What do you mean end of the month!? Oh this is bull shi-”
~~~~~What's next? You decide!~~~~~
Special thanks to my friend here, SirBarmy. From now on, the fic will be in a tennis style. He wrote this chapter and I edited it. I simply love what he did and I feel like this is going great! But, as Spidey would say, 'not that I give a fuck'.
