Dexter in Equestria

I'm slowly starting to think that this all is just a dream. I'm still on Earth, I'm just sleeping and somehow I can't wake up... Well, that's more scary than a crazy killer pony.

Speaking of crazy killer ponies, I need to find one...!

Those words were in Dexter's mind as he fast walked the streets. On his face were easily noticable signs of pure anger and purer insanity. Everypony would've better not to stand in his way. But then, all of a sudden, that stupid stallion appeared.

"I was waiting for you!" the stallion said, "Now it's time for my revenge!"

Why's he still haunting me, that's kinda creepy. Dexter was upset, didn't need this again. "What revenge are you still talking about!?"

Well, the pony was little bit taken aback by the question. "Uh," he started, "You know!"

Oh my god, what's still wrong with you? "I seriously do not know, could you please tell me?"

"Uh," The stallion began to scratch his head. "You took away my dignity!" he stated.

Dexter only quietly chuckled first, but then he burst into loud laughter.

The brown stallion had been quite offended; he snapped, "Why the hay are you laughing!?"

"Sorry," was heard from laughing Dexter, "But I don't know what," He took a deep breath, "What dignity you're talking about."

The stallion frowned, "Okay, you asked for it!" The pony yelled and began to prepare for a battle; stood up on his hindlegs and raised the forelegs.

"I really don't have time for this," Dexter said while pushing him aside.

"Again?!" the pony screamed, "Again you're running from a fight?!"

And Dexter, as usual, didn't give a...

***

"Dexter, where were you? I thought you were having a rest," Twilight Sparkle questioned as he watched Dexter poking under the couch.

Here you are, The human was finding his bag, found it and immediately put it out from under.

"Dexter, answer me!" Twilight demanded.

"What!?" he snapped. "What do you wanna know!? I have no time for your questions! I need to go somewhere, right now!"

Twilight Sparkle was a bit startled by his reaction. "...I'm sorry If I offended you or..."

"Save your apologies for later!" Dexter got up from his knees and Twilight watched him walking out of the door. "I'll be back late!"

"Where are you going?"

The door slammed.

Twilight was staring at it a while. Woah, humans are moody.

***

Mrs. Cake sighed. "Again, sir, I'm telling you that Pinkie Pie's having a day off, she's not here!"

"Oh really, really?" He gazed at her closer. "Aren't you hiding anything from me? Huuuh?"

"Uh... No?" The mare was confused. "What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, nothing," Dexter started rubbing his chin, "But I think that Pinkie Pie is still here!"

Mrs. Cake facehoofed. "So once again - Pinkie Pie is NOT here! Now buy something or go away!"

"Okay, okay..." He, still rubbing his chin, squinted and stared at her, waiting for any sign of suspicious behaviour.

The mare was already annoyed by him. "I'm losing patience, sir!" she raised her voice. "Buy something or go away!"

"Okay, as you wish..." he replied in a whisper, "But you're hiding something from me, and the customer is always right..."

That was supposed to sound scary, but Mrs. Cake was more likely confused.

"See you later, Cake..."

***

He sat on a bench. Our beloved Dexter's instincts were shouting at him that Pinkie Pie's still somewhere in Sugarcube Corner. He didn't know why, but he just felt it.

He burried his face in the palms and all of a sudden he began to cry.

"Some say, a boy should be ashamed when someone sees him crying."

Dexter slowly raised his head and looked up to Harry. "You," Dexter began, "Long time no see."

Harry chuckled.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here to help you."

"I'm helpless," Dexter said, "So how can you help me, you are practically me."

Harry ignored the last sentence. "Your emotions clouded your judgement. Remember what you always did."

"What I always did?" Dexter thought for a while, searching in his past. "...Well... I'll wait for the night, he finally started, "And I'll get there using a wire...

The father was nodding with a slight smile.

"But that's gonna be a break-in!"

"Really? You're about to kill a pony and all that's bothering you is 'that's gonna be a break-in'?"

"What? I don't wanna kill anybody!"

Harry frozed for a while. "...But you're just about to do so!"

"I know!" Dexter shouted.

"...So?"

"So it's gonna be all really crazy... I hope that Fluttershy's not hurt or worse..."

***

The room wasn't much illuminated, only one of all those bulbs emitted some light which shined on the objects of the room. Fluttershy woke up and quickly imagined that something's wrong, she couldn't move. All her limbs were tied to the metallic desk she was now lying on. Her memories were completely mixed.

The pegasus started to shake and with all her force tried to free herself but the rops were too tightened.

"Help!" she screamed, although her voice was too weak to be heard. Where am I? "Help me, please, anypony!"

"Nopony can hear you now," said a voice.

Fluttershy gasped as a shiver ran through her body. "W-Who's there?" she squeaked.

"Oh, you silly filly, it's me!" the voice replied, and from the darkness walked out a familiar pony figure.

"Pinkie Pie?" Fluttershy whispered in disbelief. "Help me, please!"

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that," the pink pony said, "The fun's just yet to come!"

"What are you talking about, Pinkie Pie, please untie me!" the powerless pegasus pleaded, tears flowing down her eyes.

"No, no, no!" Pinkie Pie replied with a happy smile. "I need you to help me with cupcakes!" Fluttershy was a bit puzzled by those words.

"So... why did y-you tie m-me?" the yellow mare confoundedly questioned.

"I need you to help me with cupcakes!"

Fluttershy blinked at her few times with concern look. "...And why did you tie me?"

"I need you to help me with cupcakes," Pinkie Pie repeated in the same tone. "And by the way, how come you're already awoken? Nothing is prepared yet!" Pinkie Pie trotted to the table, took something from it and came back to Fluttershy.

"W-What are... you doing, Pinkie?" the yellow mare asked as she watched the pink one holding an injection in her mouth. "Please let me go, I-I won't tell a-anypony!"

"Sleep tight!" Was the last thing Fluttershy heard before she fell to sleep.

***

It was already 9:45pm, Dexter spent whole 6 hours sitting on the bench. Sugarcube Corner was already closed and the Cakes were already sleeping. The streets were empty.

"Tonight's the night," he muttered under his breath, stood up from the bench and picked up his killing bag.

He quickly approached the house; no lights were on there, that was a good sign.

Okay, he thought, Just like back in my old days. He took out a wire out of his pocket and started unlocking the door with it.

Everything was working out, until he heard a female voice behind him, "You! I knew it!"

Dexter immediately turned around. "Uh..." He hid the bag behind his back. "Hi Bon-Bon, what are you doing here this late...?"

Bon-Bon, which was holding a knife in her both hooves, frowned. "That's what I just wanted to ask you, human!"

"Well," He scratched the top of his head. "I'm just..."

"I think you were just trying to break in this house!" the creamy mare yelled at him.

Yes "No! I would never do such a thing!" Dexter stated in a serious voice.

"So what are you doing here, huh? Planning to kill another innocent pony?!"

What? "...What?"

"Don't act like you don't know!" she growled.

"No, I really don't know!"

"Well, I do know!" Bon-Bon shouted, "You killed Lyra, and now you're trying to kill the Cakes!" Dexter was confused. "But why, human, why are you doing this?! What do you have against ponies? Why are you so mean to us!?"

Dexter sighed. "Shh, please," he told her silently, then he started to whisper, "I did not kill Lyra, trust me, but I know who did."

"Liar!" Bon-Bon shouted although Dexter didn't want her to. "You're so lying!"

"Shhh!!" Dexter repeated, then pointed to the house. "Here," he started, "Here's the one."

Bon-Bon looked at it with one eyebrow raised. "Do you think I'm so stupid? You think that I'll believe that the Cakes killed Lyra?!" she said in a whisper.

"Not the Cakes! But Pinkie Pie!"

"What kind of game are you playing with me, human?! Pinkie Pie?! You must be crazy!"

"No, seriously!" Dexter stated. "Now, throw away the knife, please!"

"Never!" she shouted. "You just want to deceive me, but that's not gonna happen!" Bon-Bon started slowly walking to Dexter, with the knife held high.

Dexter tripped her up and as she fell he took the knife and was holding it before him. "Listen to me now," he began angrily, "I am not the murderer, Pinkie is! She's sick and she's got Fluttershy now and I'm going to stop her or she's gonna do the same she's done to your friend!"

Bon-Bon hesitated to believe that but he sounded seriously and very convincingly. "Well," she said as she was slowly getting up, "And how do you know that Pinkie's there?"

"I just think so," he answered, "She usually rents there, doesn't she?"

Bon-Bon nodded.

"Then I hope she's there."

Dexter started unclocking the door again. When a click was heard he quietly opened the door. "Are you coming with me?"

Bon-Bon nodded with a serious look.

After they got inside the Sugarcube Corner, they began to look side to side if everything's all right. It seemed that everything was all right. Dexter began to be little bit more depressed. If the Cakes was woken, it would be his end and Bon-Bon's too.

Bon-Bon, accompanied with the same feeling, was now trotting hither and thither in all ways. Then she quietly went upstairs. Pinkie Pie wasn't in her room. "She's not here," she whispered down at the human.

"What?" he asked in a whisper.

"She is not here," Bon-Bon repeated a bit louder.

"Okay," he silently said, "Come here, I think I found something."

"What?" now asked she.

"I said," he started after taking a deep breath, "Come here!"

Bon-Bon nodded and trotted to him, not making any sound. "What is it?" she questioned while looking at the thing Dexter found after he uncovered the carpet.

"It looks like a door in floor," Dexter explained, caressing it along an imaginary diagonal and then trying to open it. "Give me a sec."

Bon-Bon turned away, watching the surrounding. Then a loud crash was heard and Bon-Bon yelped, "What in they hay are you doing?!"

"Shit, that was inadvertent," Dexter said.

A shaky male voice came from upsairs, "...W-Who's there?"

"Follow me, Bon-Bon!" Dexter commanded and came down the stairs of the floor-door. Bon-Bon did as he said and Dexter shut the door above them.

There it was dark. Very dark. Dexter was poking in his bag.

"What are you doing? I can't see you," Bon-Bon spoke and that caused a big whispering echo. It startled her and she accidentally stepped in a bucket on the right side. "Damn!" As soon as that happened, a beam of light illuminated the unkempt room with buckets and brooms. "What is this?" asked Bon-Bon, pointing with her hoof at Dexter's flashlight.

"Useful thing," Dexter said, "There." He pointed the light at another door in front of them.

Bon-Bon swallowed, calming down her heartbeat. "So... Shall we go?"

Dexter slowly nodded.

His hand pushed the knob, the door started to creak until it was fully open. The room hidden behind this door was much more larger than the chamber Dexter and Bon-Bon were moment ago.

"Oh my fucking god," Dexter let out; Bon-Bon's only reaction was dropped jaw. They both was staring at all the things that were there. An oven, a table; whole kitchen countertop. On the wooden table were prepared some knives, cleavers and injections - stuff similar to Dexter's. "This is..."

"Terrifying!" Bon-Bon finished.

Dexter looked over his shoulder and saw another thing, a metallic desk... And a familiar yellow pegasus tied to it.

"Fluttershy!" Dexter called, running up to her but didn't receive any response by her; she had her eyes closed. Dexter made sure that she's breathing. Unconscious.

His creamy-coated companion came to him. "Is she... alive?"

The human nodded.

Bon-Bon sighed in relief. "Free her, I'm going to find Pinkie Pie!"

Dexter pulled out the knife he took from her before. "Then you'll need this."

"But... how will you free her without it?"

"I have my own," Dexter replied with a sly smile and opened his bag. The pony rolled her eyes as she watched the blades. Dexter gave her the knife, she took it in her mouth.

"Well, now I'm gonna find that bitch!" Bon-Bon exclaimed and Dexter started cutting the ropes keeping her on the desk.

"That's not necessary!" said Pinkie Pie's voice suddenly. "I'm here, my friends!"

They both immediately turned around. Pinkie Pie's mane wasn't fluffy as it always is, it was straight like Twilight Sparkle's. Also her eyes were different, their pupils were a lot smaller. Overall, she looked very psycho.

"You're here to help me with cupcakes, too? Aww, you're so sweet!" she joyfully said with a big grin.

"Help you with... what!?"

"With cupcakes, Dex, and... hey, don't do that!" Pinkie shouted after she noticed Dexter cutting the ropes.
Her voice was really scary, Dexter stopped.

In Bon-Bon, incredible anger started to accumulate. "You!" she yelled. "You killed my best friend!"

"Uh, she just helped me with cupcakes, that's all!" the pink mare replied innocently.

"You're gonna make fun of me or what!?" Bon-Bon shouted at her, and with her knife she was now running towards her. All of a sudden, Pinkie Pie pulled out from somewhere a sharp cleaver. Bon-Bon wasn't even able to brake; her throat got immediately slit. Blood was squirting in all directions, also onto Pinkie Pie. Bon-Bon tried to choke her neck, gasping for a breath but it was too late. She fell on the floor, bleeding to death.

Dexter was terrified by what he just saw.

"She was very, very bad," Pinkie dryly stated. "Hey! I told you not to touch the ropes! Drop it!"

So Dexter stopped to cut again and dropped the knife as she commanded.

"Good boy," she said, "Now the cupcakes!"

Dexter had to facepalm. "Pinkie Pie," he began annoyed, "What fucking cupcakes are you talking about!?"

"Uh, I'm just going to make cupcakes..." she said calmly.

"Bullshit!" Dexter yelled, "When someone's making cupcakes he usually doesn't tie anyone to table!"

Pinkie Pie looked a bit puzzled.

The human continued, "So now, let Fluttershy go!"

The insane mare shook her head. "No, no, no, I can't! She's my secret ingredient!"

Dexter was about to continue again, but had to pause and think about what Pinkie just said. "Wait... what!?"

"She's helping me with cupcakes, she's my secret ingredient!"

"But... she's your friend and the element of kindness!" Dexter couldn't believe.

"Yeah," she replied with a big smile, "She's so kind to help me, isn't she?"

Dexter blinked few times. "But... ponies don't eat meat!"

"But the broth of it is delicious! And when you soak a cupcake in the broth it's sooo yummy!" she explained happily, "That makes my cupcakes the bestest in all Equestria! You liked them, didn't you? These will be for your 'Welcome' party!"

I think I'm gonna puke out; I ate ponies!? "Wait... you've already done that before?"

"Only with animals," she asnwered, "Gummy was very tasty!"

Dexter had to facepalm again, taking a deep breath. "Pinkie, listen to me," he spoke in a calm voice, "You are ill, now slowly lay the cleaver and let me untie Fluttershy!"

"After I make the cupcakes!" she raised her voice and began to approach Dexter with her bloody cleaver.

"Pinkie Pie, stop it right now!"

She didn't listen to him. "Get outta my way, Dex!"

"No!" he growled.

"Dexter, don't want to upset me!"

"You too!"

Pinkie Pie frowned and with all her force jumped on him. She tumbled him to the ground on his back, holding her cleaver dangerously close to his neck. He tried to throw her off but that mare had incredible strength. She was pushing him hard to the floor. Her face expression while she was doing it was full of pure insanity and craziness. "You ungrateful prick!" she angrily grunted straight into his face. When he finally could raise his arm, he hit her in the face and she fell off him.

Dexter needed some time to get up. Pinkie Pie immediately took the chance, instead Dexter she furiously trotted to the desk with sleeping Fluttershy. "Don't you!" Dexter shouted and tripped her up with his hands when as he was slowly getting up from the dirty floor. Pinkie fell on the ground. He ran to take her cleaver and disarm her but she bucked in the stomach after he got near.

He was lying on the floor. Pinkie now decided to kill him first. "You," she spoke in a raspy voice, "Somepony wants to make a great party with delicious food and this is how you pay back!?" Dexter was only coughing. "Well, I think the cupcakes I'll made of you will be good!" She was already close; she looked at him and raised the cleaver in her hooves. That was Dexter's chance, he pulled out a knife and thrusted it hard in her bare pink stomach. Pinkie Pie didn't expect this. She slowly looked down at the knife sticking out of her belly and blood flowing down it from the wound. "No..." she whined quietly. "No!"

"Yes," said Dexter as he watched Pinkie's body fell on the floor, in the puddle of her own blood.

Her terrified face was fading slowly. "...Make of me... good cupcakes..."

"Don't count on it."

She took her last breath, and closed her eyes. Forever...

All of a sudden, Dexter dropped the bloody knife and fell to the ground. Unconscious...