Ultimate Chimera problems

by SecretPerson

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Crossover
Length: 1024

What? Title not obvious enough!? I wrote this for no reason at all other than to be stupid.

What? Title not obvious enough!? I wrote this for no reason at all other than to be stupid.
Seriously, I bet I could get on Worlds Dumbest for writing this.

Anyway, a single one shot poorly written thing about the ultimate Chimera causing problems in Equestria and eating Derpy Hooves… Wait, WHAT?! no, I will be hated for that!? Well, too bad the delete button on my keyboard is MIA so all of my thoughts are plastered onto here without me being able to do anything about it.

HEY! SOME STAFF GUY SHOULD MAKE IT SO EQUESTRIA IS NOT ALWAYS MARKED AS MISPELLED! Oh, and Do that for all of the bloody pony slang, because the site is based around that. I just hate seeing all the red lines there because of pony slang that is almost required in the writing for it to be aceptable.

Crap, this is still in the description… Oh well.

PS: The cover image actually is the only reason i write this, which means I lied when i said "I am writing this for no reason other than to be stupid". Oh well.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-23 22:40:01 UTC

The bloody story is here, click this... If I have to tell you how to read then you should not be online.

It was a GLORIOUS day! No disasters had occurred yet, and the birds were making a bunch of noise.

Derpy was flying around the park throwing brid seed because, well, the birds were fun to watch. Everything was going good, and the trotted up to a yellow bird on a bush.

"Hey there little one! Want some of this?" Said the overly popular wall eyed background pony that has the most fanfiction stuff about her but luckily is actually kind of charming so I do not hate her.

The bird violently ate the bridseed out of the cup Derpy was holding, and the other birds were singing, and a frong was dancing, everything was perfect...

Suddenly, a large mouthed, red, demonic look monster came from behind the bush, and Ate Derpy.

Don't worry, everything is fine, the birdseed was not eaten so the other birds can still enjoy it...

I think this suddenly qualifies as a "trollfic", whatever those are.

The beast, otherwise known as the ULTIMATE F***ING CHIMERA, roared loudly, sending the birds frantically flying away, except for the one on it's head.

The Chimera then walked towards Ponyville, because it wanted to go to the doctor because it had a stomach ack.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were dancing in the middle of the street because they saw a hobo and thought maybe they could get their cutie marks in being entertaining hobos.

"Is it working?" asked Applebloom.

"No" replied Scootaloo.

"Then why are we still dancing?" asked SweetieBelle.

"BECAUSE I WANT TO!!!" said Scootaloo.

Suddenly, the Ultimate Chimera Jumped on top of Scootaloo, roared, ate Applebloom, and then spat her out at SweetieBelle, sending Both Filly's flying into a food cart.

It then casually walked a few feet trying to remember what It was going to do. Suddenly, Applejack threw a Rope around it, and shouted "REPENT FOUL BEAST!" While holding a Bible in the other hoof.

The Ultimate Chimera sighed, opened it's mouth, and ate Applejack. With a bit fo time, it decided this one tasted like crap, literally, and spit her out onto the doorstep of some house.

The Chimera took a few more steps, and saw a orange with wings, and chased after it like and excited dog.

On the way, it heard a few screams, but did not care. It then finally caught the orange, licked it, and walked off in some other direction.

Suddenly, Flutershy yelled "HEY!"

The Ultimate Chimera turned and saw a really peeved of yellow Pegasus. and looked confused like "What did I do wrong?"

Fluttershy then said "Spit it out!"

The Ultimate Chimera squatted down, and spit Derpy Hooves out, whom was covered in saliva, ew, and was also very unconscious.

"good, now go to your room!" said Fluttershy.

The Ultimate Chimera whimpered, and Fluttershy just glared at it.

And then everything was fine again, the end.

Oh yeah, Applebloom, Sweetiebelle, and Scootallo are in the Hospital for weeks, but they earned their Cutie Marks!

Scootaloo, A big foot.

Applebloom, a cross (Hence why she is suddenly taken out of the show due to religious imagery.)

and Swetiebelle, a picture of Washington D.C.

THE REAL END!

Crap, I need a thousand Words...

The Ultimate Chimera walked to Fluttershy's house and sat next to the other animals. A bunny beside it was being annoying so the Chimera ate it and went on like nothing happened.

Fluttershy came into the back yard area, and started feeding every animal.

She tossed carrots to the bunnies, lovely birdseed to the birds, and a huge Mcdonalds Burger to the Ultimate Chimera.

the Ultimate Chimera savored the burger, oh it was delicious, so much so he might consider becoming one of their mascots one day.

Then he realised Wait, this burger, wait, it, it tastes, bad.

So the Ultimate Chimera swallowed it whole, and licked Fluttershy's hair while purring. The Yellow Pegasus Giggled, then gasped, "Oh! I forgot Angels super special salad!

A few minutes later, she screamed, and came into the backyard, "Were is Angel!?!?!?"

The Ultimate Chimera gave a "Wellidunknowlolidkbutimightofeatenhimbutyoucannotprovethat" look.

Fluttershy eyed all of the Pets, and figured out who the perpitrator was.

"I knew you would go too far one of these times..." She started walking towards the critters while holding a flashlight onto them.

"So, why did you do it!?" She yelled, "Why did you eat angel, button!?!?"

Button, was the little brown bunny sitting next to the Ultimate Chimera, and he looked around all confused.

Fluttershy continued on her tangent "I am afraid you will have to spend life in prison for such a crime!"

Suddenly, the ultimate Chimera coughed up Angel, and perked back up and gave a "Idon'tknowhowthatgotthere" look.

Fluttershy gasped, grabbed Angel, and said "Oh, time for your supper, and eugh, you need a bath!"

Suddenly the royal guard burst into the cottage, and came into the back yard.

"Foreign Dimension animal control!" shouted one of the soldiors.

The Ulitmate Chimera gave a "Ohshit" look, and flew to the top of the town hall.

A crowd gathered around the town hall, and the Royal guard surrounded it.

"That's it, were going to need an airstrike." said one of the guard.

Fluttershy burst through the crowd "YOU CAN'T DO THAT! It's just a animal! It doesn't know better!"

And then only for the sake of the plot, the Royal guardsman said "You get big red bad down?"

Fluttershy replied "Sure!"

"well okay!"

Fluttershy flew up to the Ultimate Chimera, and they looked into the others eyes. Then, the most amazing thing happened, the ultimate Chimera ate Fluttershy, and dissappeared, right before the entire town hall exploded.

The lead of the Guards squad shouted "I TOLD YOU TO CALL OFF THE AIRSTRIKE"

and intern replied "sorry, I was on break."

THE ACTUAL FULL PROOF ENDING!

I am so sorry you read this... If it is any consolation, I promise not to proofread this story to leve it as is. wait, that does not help, dang it.

So, GOODNIGHT!