Meeting A Psycho

Trixie trudged down the muddy road. The cold wind blew harshly in her face and nipped her hooves, giving her already-blue form a darker shade. She kept her eyes forward, facing north, determined to walk her path wherever it may lead her. Lacking any real goal, the unicorn marched during the day and slept only at night, and the air got steadily more chilly the more she progressed.

After weeks of perpetual walking, Trixie’s legs were threatening to collapse underneath her own weight. So when Trixie came up over a hill and saw a small wooden cabin with the words “Stop and Eat” highlighted in big neon lights--she almost broke out in a sprint. Eager to finally eat something other than pinecones, she trotted in and took the closest seat available.

Immediately a waitress came over and placed a menu in front of Trixie. “What can I get you for?” she asked in a wheezy voice, holding a notepad in one hoof and a pen in the other.

Trixie glanced at the selection. Everything looked really good, but in the end she decided to go with something cheap since she was hurting for money. “Er...Trixie will have the pasta with marinara sauce.”

The waitress raised an eyebrow at Trixie’s peculiar tick, but drew no attention to it, after all, a lot of strange ponies come here to eat.

Warmth and comfort started taking hold of Trixie as the waitress took her menu and trotted away. She wasn’t used to being around so many other ponies after traveling for so long, but it was easy to feel at home here, even though the building itself was nothing but a poorly built shack with a bunch of tables inside. Still, the chatter and laughter that filled the room was a nice change from the cold and bitter quiet that usually surrounded her. Trixie watched as ponies chatted and made merry, wishing for all her heart to be a part of something similar, when an exceptionally loud colt near the back drew her attention.

The colt was an earth pony, with a dark blue coat which clashed with his sickly green mane. He was quite upset, pacing back and forth, holding a phone against his head, he pleaded into the receiver. “Mr. Pozniak, would you pl-please just give me a couple of days? F-f-finding a unicorn that’s willing to travel is very important and so far...”

The colt trailed off as Pozniak, whom Trixie assumed is the boss of the earth pony, responded in a way loud enough that Trixie, who was at least half a room's length away, could hear. Eventually though, the phone quieted, leaving the nervous colt shuffling his hooves as he waited for another outburst. Finding some courage, the colt spoke, “So does that mean you’ll give me more time,Sir?” He couldn’t quite keep the hopefulness out of his voice, but it seemed that he received the answer he wanted to, because a few seconds later he was raving his appreciation as if he just barely avoided stepping barehoof on a lego. “Th-th-th-thank you 'so' much, sir! You won’t regret it! I’ll find somepony soon, and when I do you’ll be 'so' happy that you decided to keep this project alive! You’ll see! Thank you again, sir.” Slowly, and offering more thank you’s as he did, he hung up the phone. Trixie couldn’t see the strange colt’s face, but she assumed that if she could, he’d be smiling.

Trixie continued to watch the colt as he turned around revealing what he looked like in more detail. He had a incredibly ratty moustache that hung limply on both sides of his mouth. His mane looked to Trixie as though he had never heard of conditioner, while his eyes were dark and sunken. Altogether, not as Trixie would have expected him to look. From the way his voice sounded to Trixie, he could have easily been mistaken for a very young and handsome colt--not the dirty and unkempt colt standing right before her.

With his mind off of business, the colt just now started noticing all of the ponies staring at him, as his little show had attracted more than just Trixie’s wandering gaze. One especially gruff bystander couldn’t help but jab the trashy colt’s push overiness as he started trotting by them, as he let out the smart comment “Hoof kisser” earning him much laughter from his friends. The dark blue colt merely avoided eye contact as he made his way to the door as quickly as he could while still trying to maintain a level of nonchalance, failing all the while.

“Wait.”
The colt turned to see Trixie waving him over. Seeing his hesitation to accept her invitation, Trixie spoke again, this time a little more forcefully.

“You ARE looking for a unicorn, aren't you?”

He glanced nervously from side to side, but no pony was paying him any mind any more. Everypony whose his attention he unwittingly garnered had already forgotten him, leaving the colt to his own devices.

“Uh, y-yeah.” He responded taking a seat in front of Trixie, who just now receiving the pasta from the waitress she gave her order to a few moments ago. The smell of fresh tomato wafted over Trixie’s nose, making her salivate. Trixie, eager enough to not bother with a fork, was quite ready to dig in, but thankfully stuck with proper etiquette while she was in the presence of company.

“Excuse me, but shouldn’t we talk about the position before you chow down?” the colt reminded.Trixie blinked. She had almost forgotten what she was doing before the intoxicating smell of tomatoes occupied her mind. With a sigh, she laid down the silverware and turned her attention back to the matters at hand.

“Of course,” replied Trixie. “Now, as Trixie understands it, you are looking for a unicorn that has experience in traversing the outdoors, am I correct?”

“Well, yeah.” The colt scratched the back of his head. “But it’s a bit more complicated than that.” Trixie merely waved her hoof dismissively.

“Please mister-uhm...” Trixie blanked, she had forgotten to ask the strange colt his name; a very important detail if she was hoping to work for him. “Sorry, but you seem to have forgotten to tell Trixie your name.” Thrilled to talk about himself, the colt immediately responded in what she assumed was his masculine voice.

“All my friends call me Psycho.” he answered quite proudly, puffing out his chest. Noticing that Trixie’s less than impressed expression, Psycho proceeded explained himself a little more. “It’s because of how wild and, uhm...unpredictable I am and...” Still not buying it, Trixie blew a wet raspberry in mocking disbelief. Embarrassed, Psycho laid his head sadly on the table and let out a sad sigh. “Alright, you win, you...you got me. My nickname isn’t Psycho, it’s...” He took a deep breath. “it’s En-enpsychopedia.” Trixie couldn’t help but giggle at the colt’s misfortune, earning her a frown from him. It didn’t take much imagination to guess how he earned such a nickname. “St-Stop, that.” Psycho stammered. “It’s not funny. Just because I’m smart doesn’t mean I deserve to be made fun of. Besides,” he gave a small humph. “all of my friends do call my psycho. Enpsychopedia is just a stupid nickname given to me by a bunch airheads--airheads who are jealous of my vast intellect.”

“If you say so, Psycho,” chuckled Trixie. “but Trixie can assure that no matter what the danger is, she can handle it.”

“If you’re sure--” Psycho reached into his saddlebags, picking out a piece of paper accompanied by a pen, “--then I’m going to need you sign this paper.” Trixie reached out with her magic and grabbed the pen. With a clatter, she moved the pasta to the side as she prepared to sign, but was interrupted by Psycho. “J-j-just so you know, it is going to be a very long journey, and th-there might be very dangerous creatures, too, and-”

“Do you want Trixie to sign or not?” asked Trixie tapping her pen, at which point Psycho bit his lip and decided to stay quiet while the unicorn signed. Satisfied that he wouldn’t be bothering her again, she continued.

While she was busy filling out all of the lines and spaces, Trixie began to wonder. “Not that it matters to Trixie much, but can you tell me why you’ve been having trouble finding a unicorn to travel?”

Psycho, who had otherwise been quiet, eagerly responded to Trixie’s question. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but most unicorns prefer living in big cities rather than the rough and gruff countryside. That’s why I’m all the way out here, for lack of a better term, talent searching.” He put “talent searching” in air quotes. “I’m a lot more likely to find a strong unicorn in a place like this rather than a place like Canterlot where all the higher class unicorns live.”

“That makes sense to Trixie--there are not a lot of ponies, let alone unicorns, who can laugh in the face of adversity like she can. I’ll think you’ll find her quite capable.”

Trixie signed the bottom of the paper and handed it back to Psycho. Psycho took the contract and started looking it over. Suddenly, a frown creased his face. “I’m sorry Trixie, but titles such as “The Great and Powerful” do not count as legitimate signatures. You have to use your last name.” He took out another copy of the contract and placed it in front of Trixie, who let out an aggravated sigh and picked up the pen. Eventually, she filled out the paper yet another time and gave it back. This time as he read, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Is your last name really Lulamoon?”

“Yes,” groaned Trixie “Trixie knows, it’s a stupid name, but that’s what it says on her birth certificate.” Noticing the look Psycho was giving her, Trixie started questioning the sudden interest in the name. “Have you heard of Trixie before?” she asked.

Psycho snapped back to attention. “Um, n-no, I si-si-simply thought it was a strange name.” He stood up and started heading out the door, mumbling to himself all the way. “Very, very strange.”

“Wait!”

Psycho turned around at Trixie’s cry.

“Where is Trixie supposed to go?” asked Trixie. Psycho did a double take after realising that he almost forgot to give directions, so he came back over to the table and starting drawing a detailed map using his pen and one of the diner’s napkins.

“If you keep traveling up the road,” he pointed over his shoulder, “you’ll eventually reach the city of Vanhoover. When you reach it, take the train that travels over the frozen peninsula. It’ll take you all the way to the base of the Crystal Mountains. As you get off the train, you’ll see a small town called “Hoof Hill Village”. It’s a relatively small town, and wouldn’t be located on the map of Equestria because of that, which is exactly how the locals like it, since they prefer their peace. Our encampment will be on the north side of town, at the very edge.” Putting down the pen, he reached into his saddle bags, pulling out a pocket watch. He flipped it open to check the time. “I-If you join me on the five o’clock train, w-w-we can both be there by tomorrow morning.” Nervously rubbing his elbows he also added, “Although, I can understand if you’re busy at the moment.”

“Actually, Trixie thinks that would be a good idea.” Psycho blushed. Trixie, noticing Psycho’s red hue, snorted in disbelief. “Don’t get any ideas. Trixie just doesn’t have enough bits to afford a train ticket, which is why you’ll be buying her ticket for her.”

“Oh,” said a more downcast Psycho, “well if that’s all, I guess I’ll see you later.” With one last glance at Trixie, he turned and trotted through the exit, into the wintery outdoors. As he left, Trixie couldn’t help but take a peek at his cutie mark, which was an open book.

Finally, with no more business to take care of, Trixie happily picked up her fork and dug into the pasta she had been neglecting. Even though it had gone cold, it was a far better sustenance than what she had been thriving on for the past couple of days. The pasta felt so soft, and the sauce was so tangy and thick. Trixie was certain that if she ever had to go back to eating pine cones after tasting something so scrumptious and delectable, she would simply die.

After she downed half of her meal the waitress showed up again with the bill and placed it on the table. Trixie looked at the cost of her food and reached into her saddlebags to retrieve her bits, but when her hooves came into contact with nothing, the predicament she was in suddenly dawned on her. Not used to not having at least two bits to rub together, she failed to remember that she was completely broke.

Casting furtive glances in all directions, she resigned herself to rushing the meal she had been looking forward to enjoying. Doing exactly that, she got up, taking Psycho’s note with her, and tried to look nonchalant as she trotted to the exit. She got all the way to the door when she heard someone yell behind her and busted through the door in a sprint, to be greeted by an icy cold wind that burned her lungs as she ran.

Eventually, when she was certain that no one was chasing her, Trixie came to a halt. The whole affair rattled her to the core, this being the first time she’s ever had to steal a meal in her life. Taking huge gasps of winter air after such a long run, Trixie started reprimanding herself for buying a useless trinket’s from shady merchant a few days back. Not only did she use her last bits, but the “magic” necklace she bought was made of cheap metal, breaking after just one night.

These were hard times for Trixie, indeed. Sometimes, when she let her mind wander, she started thinking about how life used to be for her--back when life wasn’t exactly easy, but was she ever worse off than any other pony trying to make their mark on the world? In fact, the good times were barely over half a year ago. She fondly recalled the performances she’d put on for many small cheering crowds, cheering her name. One day, those small crowds would be theaters, every singly seat filled, just to watch Trixie as she regaled them with story and imagery of heroic tales.

Although, sometimes Trixie didn’t feel quite content with her life. It wasn’t enough for her to just tell stories of other heroes and their feats. Sometimes, she wished that..she herself was a hero--to be one of those larger than life characters in stories that grandparents would tell their grandchildren. Eventually, she started including herself in her own stories.

Trixie shook her head. She disliked thinking about the past, and no good could come from dwelling on it. Instead she focused on the present, and more specifically, her destination.

Spitting out the map she had been carrying in her teeth, she checked to see whether she was on the right track. Luckily, it seemed that amidst her panicking, she had chosen the path she was meant to take. Vanhoover was little less than a mile away. Trixie also noted with a smile that the train station was located on the outskirts of the city.

Closing the note, she took off once again down the muddy road. Pine trees took up the horizon on both sides of the muddy trail and filled the air with their fresh scent. Trixie, who felt as though she had seen enough pine related things for one life, was greatly relieved when the forest gave way to field. Every few miles a windmill would break the grassy horizon, the breeze slowly rotating their turbines. The scenery stole Trixie’s breath away, but she refused to slow down no matter how peaceful the scenery. She had no idea how much time had passed since she left the diner, and was determined to make the train.

As she made her way further down the road a small rural house slowly came into view on her right. Getting closer, a small lemonade stand could be seen as well, with a small filly standing behind the counter. Her coat was snowy white and she had a braided, light grey mane. She was leaning on her hoof with a bored expression. But she immediately lit up with excitement when she saw Trixie.

“Hi, would you like some lemonade, pretty lady?” asked the little filly hopefully, her big blue eyes gleaming with anticipation.

“Sorry, but Trixie doesn’t have any bits.” replied Trixie apologetically. “but, if Trixie did, she would certainly buy a glass.”--and it certainly wasn’t a lie either, after running for so long, she had developed quite a thirst.

The filly frowned and sunked back onto the table. Trixie stood awkwardly, wondering if the filly was going to say anything else. Suddenly she picked herself back up and started staring at Trixie, making her shuffle uncomfortably. Eventually, Trixie found she couldn’t stand the filly’s scrutinizing gaze any longer.

“Why are you staring at Trixie like that?”

The little filly replied with a question of her own. “Why do you talk so funny?”

Trixie did a double-take. She did not expect the filly to be so up-front with her. “It’s very rude to make fun of the way some ponies talk,” she scolded. The filly, looking very ashamed, cast her gaze away when she realised how direct she was being.

“I’m sorry,” apologized the filly. “I wasn’t trying to make fun of you.” She did seem very sorry to Trixie, and she guessed that the cold weather today was bad for business, doing no kindness to the filly’s mood. She wished she could help the filly with her stand, but was in too much of a hurry to stay.

“Well, uhm...apology accepted?”

Trixie was about to turn and trot off again when the filly gasped and sprang up again. “Wait, I have an idea!” Trixie spared a moment to wonder at the filly’s shifting moods before going back to the stand. “If you promise to tell ponies about my lemonade, I’ll let you have a glass for free,” offered the filly.

Glad to help, Trixie accepted, taking the offered cup. The lemonade was surprisingly tasty, probably squeezed fresh judging from the taste. In any case, it definitely quenched Trixie’s thirst, and when she finished the cup she smacked her lips satisfyingly before tossing it in the bin next to the stand.

“Now remember your promise,” reminded the filly.

Trixie chuckled. “Don’t worry, I promise I’ll keep you in mind.”

“Huh?” the filly tilted her head in confusion. “That’s weird, you didn’t say your name.”

Trixie eyes popped wide open. The little filly was right--for as long as Trixie remembered she had preferred to speak in third person. She wasn’t sure what it meant, but it made her uncomfortable thinking that her behavior might suddenly be changing.

“Oh, we-well Trixie just like’s to talk like that normally, that’s all--doesn’t mean that Trixie talks like that all the time though,” Trixie told the filly. She wasn’t sure it was the truth, but she accepted it nonetheless with an awkward smile. “Trixie really has to be going now so...goodbye, uh?”

“Lemon Drop.”

“Goodbye, Lemon Drop.”

With that, Trixie started trotting down the road, determined not to stop this time for any reason whatsoever. Behind her, Lemon Drop called out one more time. “Don’t forget! Forgetting a promise is unacceptable!” Trixie shook her head and smiled. Lemon Drop was definitely an interesting filly, and a very cute one at that. Cuteness aside, Trixie wasn’t sure if she’d ever get the chance to fulfill the promise she made, since she was leaving very soon.

Soon enough, the rooftops of Vanhoover came into view, making Trixie very excited for the end of her journey. She started into a sprint and soon enough the rest of Vanhoover came into view as well, the train station settled right near the entrance. Standing near the front door of the station was Psycho, and he looked very anxious. A great train protruded out of the side of the building behind him. Its steel wheels gleamed golden in the evening sun, ready to crush the perilous ice covering the tracks. The sight was stunning.

Author's Note

Burn your bridges while you cross them.