Development of fic: Apple Bloom

by ARBPW

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Sad
Length: 2410

Noooooooootes

Notes on a new fic. Trial passages, possible story ideas, plotting, etc.

Gonna string all these ideas up into a nice fic once I have enough material.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-01-12 17:10:17 UTC

What started as a crossover but became slightly melodramatic

"Fluttershy! Ya' in there, girl? Ah need ya' help with somethin'!"

Applejack bashed her hoof against the wooden cottage door, whilst keeping a tight grip on her sister's leg. No matter how hard the filly tried, she could not break free of the vice-like hold that linked her to her sister.

"Applejack! Quit crushing mah hoof! You're gonna break it!" Apple Bloom grabbed hold of the orange mare's hoof, groaning and grunting as she tried desperately to break free.

"Hush up!" Applejack growled back to her. "Fluttershy, you there?"

The door swung open, and both ponies looked down to see a small white rabbit with its arms folded, tapping its foot impatiently.

"Heh... hey there, Angel. Yah seen Fluttershy anywhere?" Applejack asked. Angel's eyes widened, and he hopped outside the doorframe and past the two sisters. Both looked in the direction of his travel and spotted the yellow pegasus floating slowly towards them, holding a basket.

"Oh! Applejack, is something the matter?" she asked, whilst Angel tried to leap into the basket. She placed her hoof into the basket and handed him a long and thick carrot, which he grabbed from her. The pegasus smiled as her beloved bunny ran back inside the cottage whilst nibbling his treat.

"Fluttershy, I got me a problem. Ya' see, Miss Bloom and her lil' crusader club thought it would be a smart idea to let the cattle outta the pen to try and herd 'em! Three fillies tryin' to control an entire herd of cows, can ya' believe it?" Applejack tightened her grip on her sister's hoof, causing her to wince and pout.

Fluttershy placed the basket on the ground as she made a graceful landing. "Well, what do you need my help for? Are they hurt? Did any of them run off?"

"Naw, nothin' like that. Ya' see, the cattle we have are miiiighty antsy right 'bout this time o' year, so their jus' itchin' to get themselves a taste o' freedom. You open that gate jus' a liiiiitle too far, and boom!" The orange mare punched the air, causing Fluttershy to squeak and flinch.

"Well, how was ah 'sposed to know they'd be that fast?" Apple Bloom said, her voice quivering slightly. "I told ya' sis, we had it all under control 'til-"

"'Til they decided they'd taken a fancy to the barn! Twenty- no, thirty cattle chargin' into a wooden barn, Apple Bloom!" Apple Bloom could feel her sister's grip become even tighter, which brought tears to her eyes. "They flattened that thing lickety split! Did ya' ever stop to think 'Ya' know, maybe it ain't such a bright idea to let these cows outta the pasture! Ah mean, what if they go an' stampede straight into the house? Or the barn? Or even Ponyville? I could really get somepony hurt, acting as like such a foolish filly!'. I mean, why didn't ya' jus'-"

"Umm... excuse me, Applejack, but I don't see what I'm supposed to be helping with." Fluttershy looked at Apple Bloom, who had her eyes closed and her head bowed. Applejack tugged at the filly's hoof, but she did not look up.

"Well, me an' Big Mac herded all the cattle up and got 'em back to where they belong, but we need a lil' time to fix up the barn. Ah need somepony to watch Apple Bloom so she don't get no more of those wonderful ideas o' hers!" The older sister finally released her hold on the filly, and she snatched her hoof away. "So could ah ask ya' to watch her for the day?"

"Oh, I... well... have you asked Twilight or Rarity?" Applejack nodded her head.

"Ah asked 'em both, but they said they were busy. Ah would have asked Rainbow an' Pinkie too, but ah don' trust those two keep to the meaning of 'punishment'." Fluttershy looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Punishment? What are you saying?" she asked.

"Ah wan' her to stay with you to think 'bout what she did. That means no fun, no friends..." Applejack gave her sister a piercing glare. "...no crusadin'!"

"You coulda' trusted me to-"

"Ah think ah've trusted you once too often, this time. Jus' don' let her outta your sight, Fluttershy. Ah'll be back later on to pick her up." The orange mare trotted away from the cottage, down the dusty path that lead back to Ponyville. The pegasus reached out to stop her, but she came to a stop as she glanced back to the sulking filly.

"What was that all about?" she whispered, offering a comforting hoof to Apple Bloom.

"She's jus' mad at me cus ah got the idea- well, it was Scootaloo's idea, really- the idea to try our hooves at cattle herdin'. So we go an' sneak into the pasture, bein' real quiet an' all. Ah cause a ruckus to get the herd movin', 'cause there ain't no point in herdin' what's already herded, yeah? Things were jus' dandy at first, we got a couple o' them under control, but then Sweetie leaned on the gate and-" She cringed as she remembered the booming crash the barn made as it tumbled to the ground. The collision of beechwood and bovine rang in her ears like a thunderclap.

What is now a slight expansion of the previous idea

The filly lay curled up inside the cramped chicken coop, the cape around her neck snagging on a splintering block of wood as she tried to make herself comfortable, causing her to choke and cough slightly. Though the cold darkness inside alone was enough to make her shiver, the thought of being caught was even more unpleasant- that was enough to ensure she remained absolutely silent. But she quietly told herself to remain calm. While she lay in the one place where no-one would ever think to look, she was invisible.

Stretching her front leg out just a few inches in front of her, she flinched as one of the hens shrieked as she touched it. It flapped its wings about furiously before waddling to a more secluded corner. The pony cursed her luck, because she knew what was to come next.

"Is everything all right in there, Mrs Feathers?" a soft voice called from outside. The filly began to sweat as she backed away further into the corner. But it was no use. A grating roar echoed throughtout the coop, light flooding in through the entryway to the outside. The occupants sprang to life, creating a cacaphonous symphony of cackles and squawks as they rushed to escape from their housing. The one who opened the way looked inside and jumped at what she saw.

"Apple Bloom?!" she gasped. The filly slowly turned towards the door, her eyes shifting from side to side as she tried to force a smile.

"Uh... um... hey there, Fluttershy! What brings ya to the coop today?"

"Oh, well... I... what are you doing in there?" The pegasus pushed her head inside and looked around.

"Who, me?" Apple Bloom gulped. "Ah'm jus'... ya know... playin' hide an' seek!"

Fluttershy offered a hoof to the filly. She grabbed it and pulled herself up, her eyes aching as they adjusted to the sunlight. A warm air washed over her as she stepped from the coop, and she felt relief on her hooves as they tasted soft ground for the first time in hours.

"You know, it's not nice for a mother hen to be woken up when she's expecting." The pegasus shook her head. "Who are you hiding from?"

"Oh, ah'm jus' havin' a nice lil' game with-"

Fluttershy tilted her head up, looking past Apple Bloom. "Applejack?"

The filly's heart froze. She turned slowly on the spot, her eyes screwed shut. A bead of sweat rolled down her forehead. She thought that maybe it was just a false alarm. Maybe she was just mistaking somepony for the one she did not want to find her. Maybe-

"Apple Bloom."

The voice caused total silence to envelop the scene. The chickens who had fled from the coop were motionless like statues. The warm breeze had completely died, leaving an eeri chill. The heart of the filly twisted as she opened her eyes, her lips quivering as she recognised who was standing before her.

"Applejack... ah-"

"Not a word. Home, now!"

Apple Bloom hung her head, walking slowly from Fluttershy's garden. When she reached the dirt path, her cape became loose and fell from her neck. She didn't look back to where it landed, nor did she turn back to get it. Fluttershy floated over to the garment, picking it up. It was torn in several places.

"Applejack, what's the matter?" she asked. The orange mare walked over to her, snatching away the scarf with her mouth.

"She jus' ruined everythin', that's what."

"C'mon Applejack, ya can't work all day long!"

Apple Bloom leapt from the kitchen table, almost tripping on her backpack. She grabbed hold of her sister's tail, slowing her march towards the door.

"Knock it off, will ya'? I gotta get to work. You should too," she said, barely louder than a whisper. The filly released her grip, sighing loudly.

"Sis', you're too panicky this family gatherin'! Jus' relax fer a day an' come crusade with me or somethin'." Apple Bloom trotted over to the bag and fished out two red scarfs. She dropped one of them and wrapped the other around her neck, but her eyes saddened when she saw her sister walk out the door. She grabbed the other garment and rushed after her. Applejack turned her head towards her, but then turned back, walking towards the back of the house.

"Apple Bloom, there's more to life than crusadin'. Ah jus'... ah got bigger things to worry 'bout than that, so jus'... jus'... ah wanna be alone."

Ok, I think I have it

The filly lay curled up inside the cramped chicken coop, the scarf around her neck snagging on a splintering block of wood as she tried to make herself comfortable, causing her to choke and cough slightly. Though the cold darkness inside alone was enough to make her shiver, the thought of being caught was even more unpleasant- that was enough to ensure she remained absolutely silent. But she quietly told herself to remain calm. While she lay in the one place where no-one would ever think to look, she was invisible.

Stretching her front leg out just a few inches in front of her, she flinched as one of the hens shrieked as she touched it. It flapped its wings about furiously before waddling to a more secluded corner. The pony cursed her luck, because she knew what was to come next.

"Is everything all right in there, Mrs Feathers?" a soft voice called from outside. The filly began to sweat as she backed away further into the corner. But it was no use. A grating roar echoed throughtout the coop, light flooding in through the entryway to the outside. The occupants sprang to life, creating a cacaphonous symphony of cackles and squawks as they rushed to escape from their housing. The one who opened the way looked inside and jumped at what she saw.

"Apple Bloom?!" she gasped. The filly slowly turned towards the door, her eyes shifting from side to side as she tried to force a smile.

"Uh... um... hey there, Fluttershy! What brings ya to the coop today?"

"Oh, well... I... what are you doing in there?" The pegasus pushed her head inside and looked around.

"Who, me?" Apple Bloom gulped. "Ah'm jus'... ya know... playin' hide an' seek!"

Fluttershy offered a hoof to the filly. She grabbed it and pulled herself up, her eyes aching as they adjusted to the sunlight. A warm air washed over her as she stepped from the coop, and she felt relief on her hooves as they tasted soft ground for the first time in hours.

"You know, it's not nice for a mother hen to be woken up when she's expecting." The pegasus shook her head. "Who are you hiding from?"

"Oh, ah'm jus' havin' a nice lil' game with-"

Fluttershy tilted her head up, looking past Apple Bloom. "Applejack?"

The filly's heart froze. She turned slowly on the spot, her eyes screwed shut. A bead of sweat rolled down her forehead. She thought that maybe it was just a false alarm. Maybe she was just mistaking somepony for the one she did not want to find her. Maybe-

"Apple Bloom."

The voice caused total silence to envelop the scene. The chickens who had fled from the coop were motionless like statues. The warm breeze had completely died, leaving an eeri chill. The heart of the filly twisted as she opened her eyes, her lips quivering as she recognised who was standing before her.

"Applejack... ah-"

"Not a word. Home, now!"

Apple Bloom hung her head, walking slowly from Fluttershy's garden. When she reached the dirt path, her cape became loose and fell from her neck. She didn't look back to where it landed, nor did she turn back to get it. Fluttershy floated over to the garment, picking it up. It was torn in several places, and covered in mud and feathers.

"Applejack, what's the matter?" she asked. The orange mare walked over to her, snatching away the scarf with her mouth. Without reply, she marched away from her and down the path, staring furiously at her sister all the way back to the farm, leaving the pegasus bewildered.

I wonder what that was all about...

"What?! Wha' d'ya mean ah can't go?! Why?!"

Apple Bloom stood in the doorframe, her face exploding into shock.

"'Cause we need to start workin' extra hard today, that's why!" Applejack explained, loosening the red scarf which hung around her sister's neck with her teeth and placing it on a chair next to where she stood.

"B-b-b-b-but why?! I wanna go crusadin'! Sweetie Belle says she has a plan to get our cutie marks, an' it's foolproof! We jus' need to-"

"Will ya quit harpin' on 'bout crusadin' for jus' a while?" Applejack interrupted. "This is more important! This is could change the face of Sweet Apple Acres forever!"

"But what could be more important than-"

"Listen, sugarcube. These stallions are the bigwigs at the Golden Brown Apple Products