Fallout Equestria: Rangers North

Fallout Equestria: Rangers North

Chapter 003: Crack in the Iron

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“You may think yourself invulnerable to shifts in mental state.”

“Can you fight?” Jack asked me as the enemy began its first retreat. Shear and Jack had fended off the incoming wave with the help of our remaining 12 Steel Rangers.

I stood, nodding my head up and down.

“The drugs, are they too much?” he asked, citing that Shear had manually injected my with probably what was twenty times the dose of Med-X and Dash that a normal Steel Ranger was supposed to receive at once, “You know as well as I do that your suit is supposed to release the drugs for you.”

My vision rippled as I forced myself to fight off a strange ringing in my ears. I jumped in surprise. A new pony had, entirely silently and without warning, appeared inside the hull of our AutoSled. Encased in scarred, white armor with a nearly rubbed out butterfly-trio marking on its flank, just the way the Ranger stepped in and of itself was as if every move was calculated carefully. This new pony let off a formidable air of experience on a level that I had not seen before, even in Jack Hammer.

“You have no idea what you’ve done. Unfortunately, I cannot explain it now. Battle is still upon us, and we have just enough time to start dragging the dead and dying inside.”

“Doc Hollow,” Jack rumbled amiably, “I wasn’t aware you were with us on this mission.”

“Hello, Crusader Jack.” he returned respectfully, albeit ignoring the second statement, “I see you have a protege’. One who is just as prone to getting chewed to pieces in battle as you were.”

Wait, what?

“What’s he talking about, Jack?” I asked, “Isn’t this your first-”

My squad leader looked over at me, “Not now.” he whispered through his external speakers, then looked at ‘Doc Hollow’, “Can you still do a lookover?” he asked.

Doc Hollow laughed grimly, “It’s called an examination, and yes. I can.” he replied, gesturing to one of the jump-seats that remained intact within the hull of our AutoSled.

I sat, obediently. What else was there to do? A strange, possibly ex-medical pony had just entered the scene, ordering me to sit. That same pony also happened to know more than I did about my squad leader, and got along just fine with him.

“This is going to hurt. Probably.” he began, as he peeled back the shattered plating from my ribs.

Despite the Med-X, which had been keeping me from falling over in pain as I stood earlier, the act of removing the plating was an experience that even years later would probably make me cringe. In part due to the sudden feeling of pain that accompanied an even stranger feeling of something being removed, and the other part because the embedded pieces made sick, fleshy, sucking sounds as ‘Doc Hollow’ removed them one-by-one which made my ears twitch in odd directions.

“Auuch... DAMMIT!” I yelled as the last piece was unceremoniously ripped from my side, “Do you HAVE to rip them out!?”

Doc hollow snorted, and chucked the crumpled steel off to the side without using his hooves, or teeth. That’s when I noticed that he, like me, was a unicorn. I stared at his armor-encased horn for a moment.

“What. Did you think that you and Shear were the only ones?” he asked with a little irritability present in his voice.

I averted my gaze for a moment, as he bandaged the wound and slathered some kind of salve over-top it all. It quickly hardened into a mesh-like black skin.

“That’s new.” Jack commented, looking down at my now-treated wound from within his hulking armor.

“What’s NEW is that no-one’s armor is healing itself.” he countered, “The wound that your soldier has should never have happened to begin with.”

Jack nodded. Apparently, he’d noticed the same, but at that moment, I assumed it really didn’t matter much.

“Can he fight?” Jack asked.

Doc Hollow ignored him for a moment, as he continued to examine my in places that I didn’t even know I had, or at least wished I didn’t have at that particular moment. Jack didn’t seem to mind his being ignored much. I assumed that they had a history, and the more I thought about it, the more curious I became.

I feared I was becoming like Red. ‘All things for a reason,’ I remembered someone telling me once. So I stuffed my curiosity back where it belonged: in the back of my head until it was time to ask questions again.

Finally, Doc Hollow stood up straight.

“I wouldn’t recommend he be fighting. No.” the white-armored pony began, “But considering the situation, I really don’t think there’s much of a choice.”

Jack nodded, “Is he in immediate danger of splitting that... stuff you put on his wound open?”

Doc Hollow moved towards the back of the Auto-Sled, looking as if he were about to leave.

“The stuff is called Spriteskin. Don’t ask me why, exactly. I didn’t name it, but I’d assume it’s because it stretches and multiplies until it doesn’t have to stretch to cover a wound anymore. It’s based on nano-sprite technology. Very rare. Very hard to make.”

“So that’s a no.” Jack stated. The good doctor stopped and turned his head back around to address us both.

“Correct. But my worry is more in the drugs he was just injected with. There’s really no telling what twenty times the standard dosage of Med-X and Dash will have on him. It could kill him. It could turn him into a raging lunatic. It might do nothing at all.” he took a breath, “Unfortunately, it’s also the only thing keeping him standing, and he WILL need more doses the longer the battle continues. Likely of something that will stabilize his mentality and not fully counteract the Dash’s effects. Something like the concentrated form of Rage that he would normally have access to in a proper manner, were his shoulder pauldrons not shattered to pieces.”

Jack heaved a sigh as Doc Hollow started towards the exit ramp of our damaged Auto-Sled once more.

“I’ll do whatever it takes.” I blurted, “I’ll do whatever is necessary to win this. We can’t let the Elder down!”

Jack stared at me for a moment until Doc Hollow stopped.

I could almost feel his eyes narrowing through his helmet at me before he turned away and answered in a cryptic manner, “You best be prepared for the consequences of what you’ve just said, if you have any intention of going through with it.” then he trotted out, presumably to return to his own forces.

I blinked and stood. Doc Hollow... was a very scary pony. Jack sighed audibly in his helmet again.

“So...?” he asked.

I stared at the ground for a moment. I was feeling fine. Better than fine, really. I raised my head to stare back at Jack.

“I mean what I said.” I stomped my hoof, “We have to win, don’t we?”

“That’s good to hear, because it’s far from over. We have to get the wounded in here, and there’s no telling if and when these guys will charge again, and with your damaged suit, especially the missing pauldron...” Jack trailed off.

Shear interjected at that moment as we both headed for the door, leaving Jack to ponder whatever had suddenly occupied his mind, “You have no standard drug-injection system. Since all we have is the syringes for that specific system... well, someone has to administer doses manually, and due to design, there’s no way to do it in small increments without the assembly.”

When Shear and I stepped off the ramp of the AutoSled, I took a look around at the field of battle. Bodies of the enemy lay strewn about in heaps. Blood had stained the area in front of their only exit in and out of the pass and there were more than enough body parts missing their owners than I cared to admit. Amongst the bodies and crimson-stained snow I spotted Rain standing alone on what had become a killing field.

His usual nervous smile was gone, and he looked more sad than anything else, staring into the distance with an indifferent and glazed look in his eye. His gaze scanned the horizon and the carnage with a look of sad disdain.

“You alright, Red?” I asked, trotting up to him.

Red’s ears flicked as he turned around.

“Shield?” he asked at first when he saw I was standing, eyes going wider than I thought possible, “Shield!”

Rain nearly tackled me into the drifts, a smile spreading across his face.

“I saw you laying in the snow, bro! Last I saw, you were nearly dead!”

I smiled back, “Well... I think I had a little help...” I started.

“Incoming!” one of the Steel Rangers yelled, interrupting our little reuinion.

Red and I looked up at the ridgeline. Sure enough, a column of ponies was stampeding down the pass that they had retreated into, with melee weapons in their mouths. A few shots rang out from the cliffs above, but nothing more than rifle fire.

“Buck.” I hissed under my breath, spotting a shotgun. I tossed aside my rifle for the more familiar weapon. One I could actually use with some skill. I looked to my right control arm, which stuck out oddly from my side, obviously damaged beyond use. The other was simply gone. I had nowhere to store any extra weapons.

“Double Buck.” I whispered, and settled for just the shotgun.

“Form it up!” Jack yelled over their roars, “Cover the Star Paladin’s stretcher with suppressing fire!

Red nodded and grabbed his helmet from the clip on his chest, stuffed it onto his head, then galloped through the deep, cold snow, to take up a position where he could get a good view with his scoped rifle-equipped battle saddle.

For a moment, it occurred to me that I had no idea how Earth ponies could handle anything with their hooves, but the thought burst like a soap bubble when the amount of bullets that were raining down on us increased. I decided that the best place was near the front of our lines, since my shotgun was about as useful at range as say, a rock for instance. All I had to do was get there. Easy.

Right?

I broke into a hard gallop, shotgun in my teeth. Already, a few of our enemy had broken through with their jagged, scrap-metal swords, spiked brass-hooves, and various other implements of bludgeoning death. The sudden on-rush of enemy soldiers flared my anger, as if the very nerve of our enemy was grating harshly at my soul. As sporadic gunfire peppered mine and other Steel Ranger’s positions, I began bounding forward to reach the front with ever increasing fervor, ducking, dodging, and rolling between the remains of the destroyed ‘Sleds, and the dead or dying enemy.

“Get offa me, y’bastard!” one of our own called out as the armored Ranger engaged a bloody, blue and green-maned, sword-bearing pony at close range. The Steel Ranger was blocking slices with his hooves, but had already been knocked to the ground and was on his back.

“Huld onf!” I called through the racket of Jack’s mini-guns.

Too late. The blade-wielding enemy reared up, knocked aside the Steel Ranger’s blocking hooves with a back-hoof kick. Then he, at least I assume it was a he, slammed the sword right between two armor plates on the neck of my comrade.

“No!” the toppled Ranger screamed as the blue pony started working the blade deeper and deeper between the joints at the throat.

Just as the Ranger’s screaming became incoherent, I entered gunshot range, and fired away. 12 gauge buckshot sliced open the air, first peppering the flank of the assailant with open, bloody wounds. The second shot was closer, and better aimed. Almost all of the shot’s shrapnel entered the side of the blue pony’s face, tearing away skin, muscle, and bone and leaving its nasal cavity mangled as the now vanquished enemy fell bleeding into the scuffled powder.

I slid to a stop, and traded my attention to the Steel Ranger who had been attacked. I hadn’t been fast enough. He was bleeding through the hole in his neck now.

“Medic!” I yelled in desperation, calling out again, “Medic! I need a medic! Ranger down!”

A bullet nearly took my head off. I ducked, but not before a raucous shot from atop Red Rain’s perch rang clear. I peeked around the cover where the dead assailant had been moments before and saw a pony fall from the ridge, rolling down into the snow and trailing blood. Three more shots rang out. Three more ponies died. I slipped back behind cover, and pressed my hooves on the wound, finding it near impossible to do so without choking the bleeding Ranger even more.

“Medic! Where the buck is our medic?!”

My comrade gurgled through the suit’s external speakers. The Ranger was dying. I knew there was nothing that could be done. The pony at my haunches reached for the barrel of my shotgun. I knew what the mortally wounded pony wanted. Putting my hooves on the clasps of the helmet covering the armored pony’s head and popping its quick-releases, I removed it, then took the shotgun in my teeth as I stared at the pony beneath me, hoping it wasn’t as bad as it looked.

I nearly cried, it wasn’t even a stallion, but a mare. A beautiful mare even, a soft pink with auburn hair and bloodshot eyes that I was certain were dazzling before she was cursed with impending death. The wound was one of those that even a medic wouldn’t attempt to fix, a massive gash across her neck and throat, where blood spurted out in short streams into the snow beneath us. Even if a medic made his way over here, he was trained shoot her himself to save her the pain, and this mare would wait in pain while she waited to die. Putting her through that... was more cruel than doing it myself.

If only the suits were working properly! My anger seethed.

She tapped the barrel of my shotgun, blood dripping from the corners of her mouth, dragging me back into reality, disarming my rage, and filling the resulting hole with sorrow.

“‘M srrwy.” I mumbled with the gun in my mouth and squeezed the trigger, closing my eyes.

Blood spattered my face. The mare was dead. I dropped the gun and it clattered against her armor, then rested in the snow, also spattered with sticky, scarlet fluid.

“Why?”

But there was no answer as our merciless and overwhelmingly numerous enemy continued to pour forth into the pass. It was another reality of war. Ponies die. Ally, friend, and foe. Ponies die.

Anger swelled in my chest again as I wiped my face and took up my shotgun once more, opening my eyes to scan the battlefield. Other ponies were engaged in melee combat. Rain was taking potshots from the roof of one of the tipped-over. Jack fired a few rockets onto the ridge, then reared up and smashed a pony into the ground with a sickening splatter of brain and bone as it attempted to rush him. Shear was... right next to me. My world seemed to twist and ripple, the mountain before me stretching towards the sky and the hooves of the dead reaching up with them, then rushing by. In what felt like seconds my sight cleared again.

The mare that I had put out of misery was gone though. I was floating my shotgun telekinetically at my side. I was covered in blood. When had that happened? I couldn’t remember. I couldn’t remember moving away from the mare either. Shear stared at me, also covered in blood and still sporting the bullet-wounds from previous engagements. I got the feeling he was becoming impatient for some reason from the way he tilted his head as we crouched below some boulder-like rocks amidst the chaos. Scents of death and blood permeated my nose, which I desperately was trying to ignore. It wouldn’t have mattered, all I was capable of doing really was dry-heaving.

“I’ve told you the plan, are you ready?” he asked, breathing heavily through his mask.

I nodded, unsure, but I was willing to follow suit at that point. He floated out three grenades, and ran out into the open without another word. I stumbled and galloped out into the open. He was clearly crazy.

“PONZAI!” Shear laughed, quoting something from a war long passed and telekinetically pulling the pin on the first and throwing it at the incoming column from the ridgeline.

Most of the enemies that had been rushing either panicked and ran back into the column or rolled out of the way. The ones who had panicked were instantly filled with enough shrapnel to kill a... Well, I suppose I didn’t really have anything to compare at the time. Either way, we rushed. I knocked down two ragged, hungry-looking ponies and forced lead down their throats, then barrelled through three or four more, cracking bones with my damaged, but still strength-enhanced armor. The fell to the ground, either knocked out cold, or writhing in pain probably from broken ribs and punctured lungs.

Another pony rushed at our flank as Midnight Shear pulled the first pin.

“Fuff yrrw!” I growled as loud as I could letting a round of buckshot loose into his stomach, knocking him flat. I wasn’t about to allow another Ranger fall if I could help it, and certainly not one from my own squad.

I snorted with a small grin at the bloodied core of the gasping, rag-covered stallion before turning my head back up. Rushing through the deep snow, causing soft powder to bunch up around my path, and pushing myself closer to Shear, who chucked another grenade right into the stumbling, resurging on-rush of poorly-equipped ponies.

“Take that, you ragged bunch of moronic foals! You shall dishonor us no further with this barbaric form of combat!” Shear barked, prepping another grenade.

Personally, I thought his insults really, really needed work. And barbaric form of combat? Really?

I let loose another round from the muzzle of my combat shotgun.

“Forward!” Jack roared over panicked screams of retreat and fear to my left as the enemy began their retreat for the second time. “Take ground!”

The remaining 11 of 16 Steel Rangers in our unit moved forward, leaving the dead and injured behind so we could protect them better by taking hostile ground. Rifle rounds and mini-gun 5mm bullets had shattered their ranks, and were tearing apart those who still stood against us. The rag-and-fur-wearing ponies retreated back into the ridgelines and the holes beyond the pass where they all belonged.

Wait... Did I really think that-?”

The world rippled again, and I found myself sitting behind another boulder, flanking the pass, almost abreast with its entrance.

“Hold!” Jack shouted over the victory cheers of my comrades, shattering my untimely introspection, “Hold here!”

Shear and I came to a halt just as he chucked his last grenade into the mass of fleeing ponies and took cover behind a nearby boulder. A thunderous explosion echoed throughout the mountains, punctuated by fountains of red further staining the trampled, already crimson slosh that the ridgeline pass had become. I raised my shotgun to take aim at the backs of a few stallions who had not been blown up by the explosive the Shear had lobbed, but I found that I was still unable to shoot them when they were retreating.

Still, the whole thing was pretty awesome.

“Delta-2 team, take care of the wounded, and start loading the dead onto the AutoSled!” Crusader Jack Hammer bellowed at one of the unnamed ponies on our task force. I really wished that I had a helmet at that moment.

I was still holding the telekinesis spell around my Shotgun which was, strangely enough, completely full of rounds. I checked the bandoleer that remained wrapped around my sides. It was only missing a few rounds. When had I picked up more rounds? I supposed it didn’t matter much, as the Dash and Med-X combo that Shear had hit me with was really doing wonders, despite Doc Hollow’s warnings, and I wasn’t low on ammo. Both were great things to have happening right then, and I was not about to ask questions. Now that I had a moment, though, I thought it would be best to try and find Red, maybe make sure he was still okay.

“Hey Shear...” I prodded my comrade in arms, “I’ll be right back.”

Shear nodded, then went back to watching the pass. Red approached from behind the fallen AutoSled. He looked weary, more than usual.

“Hey Red...” I said quietly, “You alright?”

“Why were you smiling?” Red asked abruptly. “You were smiling almost the entire battle, like you enjoyed it.”

I stepped back, confused. My vision felt like it was clouding. It was almost like there was no one but Red and I on the entire mountain for that moment in time. I only remembered smiling once...

“Why!?” he asked pointedly, one eye twitching. “Do you even realize what’s going on here?”

I gritted my teeth, “There’s about a thousand or so badly equipped ponies trying to kill us!” I argued, “What more is there to bucking ask at this point?”

“They’re all slaves, Shield!”

I stared at my best friend in disbelief, he was actually bringing up conspiracies there, on the battlefield!

“Of all the times!” I started, but I was quickly cut off. “I could give a moon’s damnation about-”

“Shield! I’ve been WATCHING! They aren’t fighting of their own free will!” he insisted, “There’s a pony up there dressed in some kind of crazy-looking armor. He’s SHOOTING them if they don’t fight!”

That stopped me cold. Red was never one to lie, even if it would prove his theory true. Even if no one would ever know he had lied. Except if it was for the sake of a surprise, or that one time at the bar.

“Where is this pony?” I asked, not out of incredulity, but because I wanted to know what my next target would look like.

“Follow me.” he uttered quickly, taking off towards his previous perch while speaking on the way, “It’s not just one. There are at least three of them, and they seem to be commander-types.”

The two of us climbed to the top of the overturned AutoSled that Red had been using as a vantage point. Oddly enough, the slight rise in elevation gave me a much greater view of the battlefield, one that I would not have expected if I were just looking up at it from the ground. Red Rain pointed out over the landscape, and stared directly at the ridgeline, where a groups upon groups of enemies patrolled in a disorderly fashion, running back and forth, and generally seeming to be committed to chaotic, disorderly movement. I could tell he was zooming in with his visor.

“Red... I don’t have a helmet.” I stated bluntly.

My best friend craned his neck sideways, “Oh. Hm. Here!” he blurted and shoved his scoped rifle into my chest plate, “Look right between the pass and the rise just to the right of it.”

Staring down the scope, I quickly found one of the ponies that Red had been talking about. He was directing individuals about, gesturing with his hooves. I assumed he was yelling all manner of foul things at them. They probably deserved it anyways, I thought. Undisciplined, worthless...

“This doesn’t change anything.” I said with a dark undertone, floating the scoped rifle back to Red, “They’re all still trying to kill us, and they’re still going to try to kill us if we get rid of their overseers.”

I narrowed my eyes for a moment, as something had occurred to me that just didn’t add up.

“Red, why haven’t you shot them yet?” I asked with a pointed tone, almost accusing.

Red Rain flinched, his golden eyes seemed to dart a bit, but it was too fast for me to really be sure and, despite my near-accusatory tone, he replied with renewed confidence, “Crusader Jack-Hammer ordered me not to. I only just found out about these ponies. They weren’t on the ridge before the retreat. Jack ordered me not to fire because we need this time to recover a bit, and as long as these officers are on the field, there’s a chance they might remain on the ridge for a little bit.”

His explanation was sound. It would buy us time, which we needed desperately to recover the dead and wounded, and prepare for the next assault.

I was thinking clearly now. The mental fog that had filled my head only a half-hour ago was completely gone, aside from weird rippling every so often, and I felt like I could cast shield and telekinesis spells with abandon, but I knew that was not likely the case despite the refreshed feeling I had.

Then again... Doc Hollow had said I had been injected with 20 times the dose of a normal one... Maybe I could? Deciding to wait until I really needed to find out was a better idea, I figured. There was little sense in burning out, not when there was a very possible future battle to be concerned with.

“One thing bothers me though,” I started to consider, “Why aren’t they shooting at us now?”

“Well...” Rain began.

I cut him off, I had figured it out already, “Those officers don’t want to be in the area when the battle begins.” I exhaled roughly, I could feel my heartbeat increase as I began to realize how we could win, “We need to trap them. That will force them out.” I stomped my hoof as a vindictive smiled crossed my face.

Red looked sidelong at me, “And then-”

“We kill them.” I finished with a small grin.

Rain’s eye twitched, and he stomped a hoof on the cold, metal hull of the overturned AutoSled we had situated ourselves upon.

“This isn’t like you, Shield.” Red Rain snorted, “You’ve never been so callous before! You’ve never smiled at the idea of killing, or boasted about how you could do it if you had to! Less than three hours ago, you were feeling sick because you had killed so many ponies!” he frowned and glared at me, “Are you going to tell me next that you want them ALL dead?”

Red Rain’s outburst surprised me. My mind reeled backwards, as if it had been hooked by something and was being torn back, revealing some sort of nasty monster for me to stare at within my own head. Rain was right, I was... something was wrong.

“Are you already so lost, bro? We’ve only been in battle a few hours! Do you even remember the time Wood Nail and his friends were torturing that mouse with a stolen can of spray-cleaner, and then lighting it on fire over and over again?”

I cringed, remembering the event with uncomfortable clarity. A pony doesn’t just forget something like that, not when they are young when it happens.

Red Rain continued, “Do you remember what you did?” he asked staring directly at me, making me shiver just from the look he was giving.

“I remember...” I started quietly, “I remember knocking him out of the way once I saw the mouse, and putting up a shield to protect us both as Wood Nail attempted to burn a hole in it.”

Red Rain smiled a little, “Yeah. You’re a protector, bro. Whatever’s going on inside your head-”

“I also remember smothering it later...” I interrupted, “So it wouldn’t be in pain before it died from its burns.”

I shivered. I had done the same to that Steel Ranger mare. I had killed her quickly to save her from dying in pain.

Rain went silent. He stared at me with a shivering frown. Had he seen...?

“Rain. It’s the same thing here. Except that they” I pointed out to the ridge angrily, “are both the mouse and Wood Nail at the same time. To save anyone here, we have to smother both the mouse and the fire at the same time.” I began to reason, “We have a mission. The Elder gave us that mission so that we could help those who are not already lost.”

For a moment, it all made sense. Everything. War was the only answer right then, and I found that comforting. At least I had an answer to the problem. I began to wonder how much of this new understanding was the concentrated drug in my system. I wondered if this was as good or bad as it was going to get. I wondered...

My world flipped upside down and spun again. I felt nauseous. Rain was saying something, I knew he was, but I couldn’t make it out. A sudden urge to take the scoped rifle and shoot the enemy officers myself arose in my mind, but before I could act on the impulse everything snapped back into full clarity, except that all I could hear was ringing in my ears for the most part.

“Shield, you need to calm down.” Red’s voice echoed in my head, as if I was hearing him from far away.

Shaking my head, I finally came completely out of... something.

“What?” I asked, suddenly heaving as if I had just come up from underwater. “Whatnow?”

Red seemed scared, and a shaky frown had appeared on his face. My friend’s pupils were even smaller than usual. Why? He wasn’t scared a minute ago, just disappointed. My head started to ache in time with my heart.

“Shield, you were growling.” he whispered, tilting his nose towards the ground, and staring at me with his tiny-pupiled golden eyes, “Like a... like a dog, I guess. What in Tartarus is wrong with you?”

Images of rabid animals that I’d only seen in books and in old holotapes came to mind. I wiped my mouth. No foam. Thankfully.

“I need to talk to Doc Hollow.”

Rain sighed heavily. “Yeah. Maybe.” he responded with an airy voice, probably unsure as to who or what I might have been referring to. I knew that Doc would have an answer, or... something that could help. Probably.

I couldn’t wait around and ask how much Rain knew about Doc Hollow Bone, though. There was only so much of time before the enemy might attack again, and if the older ex-medic was shot or stabbed before I spoke to him, then whatever was truly going on with my mind as a result of this...infusion of drugs may stay lost upon me. If that happened, then whatever was left of my personality might not be somepony I wanted to be, and chances were that I wouldn’t even know it.

“Listen, Rain.” I started, using his less formal sounding name in an effort to put him more at ease, “Everything’s going to be fine. We just have to get this mission done and over with.”

Rain stared out at the ever-moving throngs of ponies that occupied the ridgeline, “But will there be anything left of who we were before all of this when we’re done?” he asked, sadness and confusion present in his expressions.

I didn’t have an answer and every second probably counted. I was wasting time. Not because it was Rain that I was addressing, but because nothing I could say would make anything that had happened thus far be okay. I stepped off into the snow, hopping down from Rain’s perch and began trudging through the white, brown and red slosh in an attempt to find Doc Hollow before it was too late.

“What does it matter...?” I began to ask myself aloud, “What would it matter? If I knew?” as I moved amongst the dead, broken bodies of our enemy. Once more, the mountain seemed to twist and stretch before me, and I had to catch my breath as it all returned to normal.

A voice from beside me to my left answered the question from out of the blue, “It matters because you can try to fight the effects, though the chances of your failing are great, and the consequences of those who have fallen to the same as you are even greater.”

Doc Hollow’s white, scratched armor gleamed with an eerie glow under the overcast sky. His was an older model, upon further inspection a T-45 of some sort or another, but his was covered in various modifications, both cosmetic and functional. Likely, it was just as tough, if not more-so than the standard, Winterized T-51b(U) armor I wore.

“What is worse than failing the mission?” I asked, becoming impatient with the riddle-esque style that the good doctor had approached me with as I turned to face him.

“Failing yourself and who you are.” Crusader Hollow Bone replied with exact simplicity, then he began to elaborate, “Failing those who love you in doing so is even worse than that. Understand: there are tortures for the living that are greater than there are for those who are dead.”

I pondered that for a moment. I suddenly realized the answer to my own question of ‘what could really be worse?’ I didn’t have any real loved ones, but there was always Rain. He and I were close, as close as brothers.

“Rain...” I mouthed.

Doc Hollow nodded, somehow reading my lips.

“There’s no choice now, either way. You either take the Rage soon, or you run the risk of dying shortly after the Concentrated Dash really kicks in. The formula is designed to be delayed until the catalytic activator is metabolized, after which it exponentially increases the effect over a short span time. Strangely enough, a concentrated dose of the Rage combat drug is the only thing that can counter a sudden rejection of the time-released Concentrated Dash chemical, if you have a negative reaction to the catalytic activator.”

My heart sunk, even more so because I barely understood what he was saying, what with my limited knowledge of medicine, “And if I do? If I have a negative reaction?”

“Then you will not be in conscious control of your body, and will probably hallucinate yourself into death. Likely by simple heart attack, or perhaps by falling off this mountain.” he made an open gesture with his left hoof as I approached to stand right next to him, overlooking the massive mountain range that we were situated in, “The Rage drug won’t help much with controlling your emotions, but it will likely counteract to a great degree the severity of the hallucinations by focusing your mind into a severely aggressive and psychologically base state, which will allow you to focus on reality more than with the Dash alone.”

Doc hollow sighed audibly, as if he was bearing a great weight upon his shoulders. He then continued to speak, warning me even further of the dangers that I had been dragged into by the initial injection of Dash and Med-X by Shear. I kind of wanted to hate that guy right then.

“Just remember, that if you DO take it, that there’s a chance that you’ll commit to actions and plans that you would not normally commit to.” he sighed and looked directly at me then, “It’s not fair, but you have little choice. You can chance losing your head completely and crumpling mid-battle into a little psychotic heap of uselessness or worse, or you can chance losing your morals and doing something you may regret later.”

I had two choices, and no matter which way I thought about it, there was only one answer to the events that were determining my existence at that moment.

“If I fall apart in the middle of battle, I won’t be able to kill any more ponies against my ‘true’ will.” I began, hoping the doctor understood, “But if I take it, the Rage, then those who I really care about may live to see another day... and I might have a chance to do something to make up for what I’ve done today, and what I might be about to do.”

A gunshot echoed off into the distance. He and I stood our ground, prepared for another attack, but no other shots were fired. Doc Hollow and I faced each other again once we were sure the threat was just an errant trigger finger.

“I’ll take it.”

“You should probably take it now, actually. As a matter-of-fact, the sooner the better.” Doc told me in a very serious tone, floating the large cylinder towards me. I looked at the swirling, muddy-red drug as it roiled within its chamber, very much akin to its name.

“Why?” I asked, despite everything he had told me.

The question had felt very out of place coming out of my mouth, as if I had asked it for a different reason than just because I did not understand. But Doc Hollow Bone was gone. Or rather, he was very unexpectedly behind me.

“Because you’ve been talking to that snow bank for the past five minutes.”