My Little Pet Dashie

by RapeTrain-Express

Rating: mature
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Other, Sex
Length: 2934

Please don't sue.

What would happen if My Little Dashie had the main character as a greedy money grubbing loser who jerked off too much?

Published 2012-12-08 05:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-08 20:39:55 UTC

20% cheesier

20% cheesier

I live my life, not one but two days at a time because only whining little bitches do that shit. Course it’s never special and it’s always the same routine. Wake up, fap, drive to work, work, drive home but take a different route to watch school girls with high up dresses walk home. I would fap but every day I end up seeing Moby Cunt, the palest fat chick in the school, waddle out the door turning me off completely. After a little bit of sightseeing I head home and drink for the rest of the night.

My job was more interesting than most peoples. Though I worked at a fast food joint, I actually owned the stupid place. That’s right bitches; I manage at a Mc Donalds! It’s the greatest job ever considering the workers always spit in the food and the fries have more salt that they’ve killed more people in the city then when black people end up having there…oh man what was that moment where they bump into each other, swear a bunch, pull out their guns and shoot mindlessly while somehow missing a point blank rage, somehow make up and end up getting shot by someone else? Fuck it, I’ll remember it later.

Where did my life go wrong? I ended up going to college considering my parents always said *Boy, unless you go back to school and get a proper education. You’ll never go anywhere in life.* I got my diploma even though I passed barely and all it got me was a managing position at a fucking Mc Donalds. I paid over eight grand to get into school and all it got me was a $15/hour job that bores me. Thanks a bunch mom and dad, I could have spent that money on something useful. Like 50 hookers and a long time supply of alcohol. Thanks guys, you truly know what’s best for me.

Even with my busy life, I still had friends who would visit from time to time, but all they ever did was lounge around and play my PS3 and spill beer on the floorboards. I wouldn’t actually consider them friends rather than leeches who suck me dry in a very unsatisfying way.

Even with all these boring things in my life, there was always one thing that I brought excitement into my life. In a nearby alley that no one ever went into, rested a large green garbage bin that rested never a brick wall did hid a secret. Every night around 10 p.m. I would head out to it, push the surprisingly light bin out of the way, and reveal a big hole in the wall that I could reach into it and grabbed a simple wooden box and pull out a black handgun that was actually a painted over water gun, wait in the darkness for some lone female to walk by, jump them, and threaten to blow her brains out unless I got sucked off. The best part about it was the building was a local dance studio of some kind for women who wanted to have careers in dancing. New girls were always coming in making me able to have a variety of girls to pick from. I never got caught considering I always had my face covered. I didn’t have to worry about the cops either considering the cops in my city were nothing but a bunch of sweaty neckbeards who would end up dying from choking on a donut rather than a bullet. My friends didn’t know about my little past time, and probably won’t give a shit if I told them. Sometimes I even considered letting one tag along just so they could actually get laid, but then I remembered they were leeches that would rather suck then fuck.

Of course this was all a lie. The only thing in the box was a simple fleshlight and the hole actually led to the dancers showers where I could watch from a corner and jerk off happily. Fuck me for being beta. Oh well, lets the last girls to leave where a pair of lesbians who always fingered each other off unknowingly for my enjoyment.

****

Today was just another regular Friday for me. I would wait until my shift ended and then I would drive home, drink for a few hours until I was horny, and headed out. As I started walking through the street, I could see the sun getting bloated out by some large storm clouds signaling it would be a stormy night. Making sure no one saw me; I waited for my chance to descend into the dark alley to grab my fleshlight. Quickly moving the bin out of my way, I grab the box to pull it out and, I noticed it was slightly heavier than normal. A bit concerned to why it was heavier then it should have been I opened it up.

“The fuck is this shit?”

I stared for a few long seconds thinking my brain had too much grease fumes in my skull to see right. Inside the box rested a small sleeping…mutated horse with wings. At least, I thought it was a horse since it had hooves. What threw me off was it’s rather unusual color. It had sky blue fur and…a mane and tail that looked like some drunk dropped a bunch of paint cans on it to give it its rainbow color. I immediately thought one of the girls had found the spot and was hiding their fuck ugly horse in it.

I just simply stared at it not knowing what to do with it, and was still figuring out where the fuck my fleshlight went. The small horse thing just laid in the box, sleeping soundly and it let out small and somehow girly snores. I want to push it back into the wall and just leave it but I saw it swish its tail drawing my eyes to it. Maybe I could take it in and draw in chicks with the cute abomination and actually get something other than a simple blowjob. It looked girly enough to appeal to them.

As I picked up the box I forgot my head was still slightly in the hole and ended up hitting my head on the edge of the brick, causing me to drop the box. The small horse suddenly woke up and looked up at me. It took me a second to open my eyes from the blow but when I do open them, I was greeted by a large smile along with a big pair of magenta eyes staring at me. As I stare trying to take in its large eyes, It suddenly yawned and I notice it’s little blue wings stretch out for a few seconds before they retract back and the horse rubs its eyes with it’s foreleg.

“You’re so cute it’s disgusting. When did you get here anyway?”

The horse tilted its head at me and gave me a curious as I spoke to it. I don’t know why I even bothered speaking to it anyway. This time being more careful I pull the box fully out I decide to simply grab the freak of nature and carry it. It looked harmless anyway. As I reached for it, the horse suddenly jumped into my hands and neighed happily. As I brought it to my chest, the loud sound of thunder overhead scared the crap out of the horse as it lunged into my green jacket and cowered against me. I quickly turned and walked out of the alley and down the street back home.

“I swear to god I’m going to have a heart attack from all this cuteness.”

The streets were very dead tonight for some reason. Most of the time I would hear a party in the distance or a few gun shots going off. Tonight it was quiet and barely any lights were on in the houses. I could feel the horse shivering in my jacket as it started to rain soaking both me and her. I quickly hastened my pace to get home.

My house is nothing special. It was just another house that looked the same as the rest down the street. The only thing that I could tell it apart from the rest was the number on the front door. A simple 69 was the only thing that gave my location any meaning.

As I opened the door and walked in, a nice warm breeze heated up my cold body as I put the horse on the floor and take off my wet jacket. As the horse walks for a few seconds it suddenly shakes it small body and water flies everywhere. I get a bit annoyed but disregard it since it’s just a dumb animal.

“That smile won’t protect you forever horse. Anyway let’s quickly get a few pictures of us so I can see if any chicks are interested in you.”

I quickly reached into my pocket and pulled out my black cell phone and started to take a few pictures of the horse by itself and a few of me holding it to my chest. After I grab 5 pictures I open up good old Failsbook and post the posted and then close it after.

“Might as well jerk off while I wait for some responses…”

As I dropped the phone on the side table and put the horse on my couch I went to grab my laptop and a bag of cheetios. Not caring the horse would watch me fap I saw on the couch, dropped my pants, opened the bag, powered up the laptop and opened up my favorite porn site. I quickly put the laptop on the side of the couch while the bag rested on the other. I didn’t care if I ate cheetios and fapped with the same hand. No one was around other than the I but didn’t care for it. As I surfed the site to find a good movie, I didn’t notice the runt sticking it’s head into my cheesy bag to have a snack. As I reached for a cheetio my hand found nothing but air. I quickly turned my gaze from the screen and saw my bag on it’s side with the horse inside of it. I quickly pulled the bag away and saw the horse had a line of cheese bits on it’s mouth.

“What? You hungry now? Guess I can share with you. Never saw a horse eat cheetios before.”

I tipped over the bag and spilled a bit on the dirty 70’s couch and watched the horse make a sound that almost sounded like a squee of some kind and dive head first into the food and started to eat it. Ignoring it I moved the bag back up to its standing position and focused back on the screen giving my balls an itch at a few times. I continued my journey into the site when I felt something wet touch my dick. I quickly turned my eyes to see the little horse licking the cheese that clang to my shaft. I quickly reached out to grab it but the feeling of the horses tongue running against my shaft was oddly arousing. I looked to my side and noticed the brat already ate all of its cheetios and must have been curious to my dick.
Something in my mind told me to quickly get the little horse away from me but the dark side of me wanted it to continue. I wasn`t a horse fucker but the feeling was something grand.

“You like cheese do ya? Alright then. Lets make this fun!”

I quickly reached into the bag of cheetios, grabbed a bit and crushed them in my hand. I then used my other hand and pushed the horse away while I slapped a new layer of cheese on myself. The little pony thing smiled and started to run its tongue back on my happy manhood. All I wanted to do was sit back and enjoy feeling the ponies almost cat like tongue simulate my manhood forever. As she continued to lick the cheese I kept sprinkling more and more on for her. She kept licking at it like she hadn’t eaten in some many days.

Wanting to see if my picture got any comments I quickly grabbed my phone and logged back into failbook and saw over 200 new messages. I was honestly surprise to see so many and was even more surprised to see mostly all of them were from guys!

“Give you $20 dolla if I can cum inside it.”

"Dashie is best pone"

"BITCH THAT MY WAIFU!"

“Give you $100 for it if you paint it yellow and give it a red ribbon in it`s hair and stick your dick in it.”

"I want to cum inside your Rainbow Dash!"

The messages went on and on and on. I eventually learned that the horse that was now pleasuring my dick naively was actually a cartoon horse from a show called My Little Pony and that a bunch of sweaty manchildren worshipped the show. I learned about a few more disturbing things about the bronies. Apparently they had a bunch of meets across the world for them and even a few cons before one brony went crazy and raped the voice actor of some pony named Trixie causing the fandoms downfall. I honestly didn’t know what to think as I closed the phone and saw the…pony wanting more dick cheese.

“So you’re a Rainbow Dash or some shit like that? How the flying fuck did you get become real?

Rainbow Dash looked at me as she stopped licking me and gave me a cute smile. My mind started to flood with ideas as I thought about all the messages.

“I could easily sell you for a few grand and be well off for a bit…but what if I turn you into a small attraction? Ooooohhhh, this idea is perfect. You’re going to make me rich Rainbow Dash. If this idea works I can quit my job and live off the income I get from you.”

I quickly grab the small pony by her sides and lift her up to my face. All she does is give me a cute smile as her small tail swishes around freely.

“My Little Fuckable Horse. $50 a pop. I’ll even find out what kind of food you like so you can enjoy all that dick sucking from your clients. God I’m the smartest person in the world. But I need to set so many things up. There’s just so much to do! What do you think Dash?”

Rainbow just giggled as she jumped into my chest and lick at the cheese around the edge of my lips. I took her happiness as a yes. This is going to be perfect in some many ways. I get my own Rainbow Dash and all the greasy fat asses will give me money just to stick their little dicks in her mouth for 30 seconds before they start cumming buckets or die from a cheeseburger heart attack.

“Might as well get started. I got a lot of things I need to do! But first, I wonder how deep that little throat of yours is...”

With a smile on my face I turn Rainbow Dash over in my hands and start to move her body down towards my still hard erection. Funny enough she opens her mouth wanting more of the cheese on the tip of it and she starts to eagerly lick the tip driving my perverted senses further.

Oh god what the fuck is wrong with me!? I getting turned on by a pastel colored horse licking at my dick!...she needs more cheese. Hey Dashie~"

The pony turns her big eyes to me and gave me a curious look. I then took my free hand and stuck out my main finger and began to suck on it in an attempt to get her to copy the reaction with my dick. So far it was failing but after making a few motions and then pointing to my dick she finally caught on and she began to wrap her small lips around the tip. She could only manage to get only the head in since her throat was small but it was enough to get me going. Using my hand I broke up more cheetios and when her mouth moved up i ran a ring of orange goodness around my head and she went back down like she was actually sucking me off in a way. Eventually my penis couldn't take the torment and I began the stroke it will she was still sucking on the head.

"Hope you like salt just as much as you like that cheese!"

Before I knew it I felt an eruption in my sack and felt my jizz spray out and into her mouth which caused her to quickly pull away and start coughing. While she was coughing, I felt about 5 streams of pleasure spray onto my couch, my pants, and even on Dash's face and mane. Much to my amazement, I saw little Dashie lick at the jizz that was on her face and she gave a soft mhm before she started to lick at the rest everywhere and even on my softening dick.

"Seems you like that saltiness as well. Oh man you are going to make me very rich!"