Equestria? How absurd!
It was a bright beautiful summer day in Equestria. The sun shone brightly over Ponyville. A pony by the name of Pinkie Pie sat on the grassy side of a dirt road. Every now and then other ponies would pass by, and wave hi at her, but none seemed to notice what lay on the other side of the dirt road. There was a white bench that'd been there for years, Pinkie understood ponies not caring about that, it was what lay on the bench that was amazing. A Human was lazily plopped on it. Both of his arms were thrown over the back, much like his head just kind of hung over the back of the bench. His legs were spread out, but crossed. The Human appeared to be fully dressed too. A black coat with what looked like a nice dress shirt, and pretty black jeans that almost sparkled in the sun's bright light.
Pinkie could also make out a pin on his shirt, right below a pocket with a red pen on each side of it. The Pin had "Death The Kid" Engraved in it. Pinkie wondered what that meant.
"Death the Kid? That's strange! I wonder what the Hay that means.. Hey! If he's a kid, maybe he'll want to play! That'd be awesome!"
Pinkie thought with a wide grin on her face. She got up and sat in the middle of the dirt road. No ponies seemed to be using it, so she might as well.
Only a few minutes later, the human began to wake. Very slowly. He propped his head up, but kept his eyes closed. He then sat up properly and proceeded to crack his knuckles. He put his right hand on the back of his neck. Pinkie couldn't hear what he said, but assumed it was something about a stiff neck considering how he'd slept.
He then slowly opened his eyes. What he saw before him surprised him a lot. A pink pony, With giant blue eyes, and a wide smile. Kid's jaw dropped. He assumed he must be dreaming. He knew he never really dreamed, but he guess this must be his first. He closed his jaw, and just looked at the Pink Pony. This was weird
"Good Morning Sunshine!! Beautiful day isn't it?! I love it! I can't wait to play with all my friends. But first, I'll have to hang out with you!!"
The Pink pony practically flew up and down the road. She bounced so fast back and fourth all Kid would see was a pink flash before she was gone again. He stood up from the bench.
This is what a dream is like?! Why would anyone enjoy this? It's freaky and weird.
Kid thought as he watched the flashes of pink in front of him.
Kid began to walk down the dirt road towards what looked to be towards a city. Pinkie Pie quickly caught up and bounced alongside him. Kid payed little attention to her. He was more focused on figuring out where or what this dream land was. It was interesting to say the least.
As Pinkie bounced up and down next to Kid, she kicked little puffs of dirt up. Each puff of dirt got a bit of dust on Kid's nice pants. At first he didn't notice. But when he did. He wanted it to stop.
"Hey! I don't know how you're doing that, or hell.. Why you're doing it, but I'd really appreciate it if you would cut it out! You're getting nasty dust on my pants, and I won't tolerate such behavior!,"
Kid snapped at the Pink pony.
She stopped hopping and began to walk next to him instead. She then noticed she really hadn't said much to Kid. Where were her manners?!
"So! Kid, Where are you from?! I mean, I've never met a human before. It's kind of weird. But you seem friendly. I'm all for friendly! All I need from all my friends is a smile. Smile's are the world! Don't you think?! I think. Do you like smiling? Of course you do! Everyone does! That's why you and I are going to be the best of friends!,"
The pink pony managed to say all in one big breath. Kid stopped walking. He then began to slowly step backwards off the dirt road. This pony managed to be even more annoying then his over confident friend Black Star. Not only did she talk, but really fast. and high pitched like. The thing that really worried Kid though was that she knew his name. It just didn't make sense.
"Hey! Where are you going!? I have so much to show you, and do with you!"
"Ehh.. Look Pink pony. I don't know what's really going on.. or where I am.. But I'd like to figure it out on my own. It'd be plain weird to have a talking pink pony as my partner in investigation. That said. Please kindly leave me to myself. Thanks. Good Trails!,"
Kid said a bit frazzled as he waved the pony a good bye and walked towards what looked like a farm. It had many neatly arranged trees. It appeared to be an orchard of some sort. He couldn't wait to see what fruits he could find there.
~~~
"Hey! Where are you going! I'm not done talking!,"
Pinkie shouted at kid, even though he wasn't very far away. He ignored her and continued walking. All he wanted right now was for her to leave. He put his hands in his pockets and ignored the pink pony as she questioned him frantically.
"Well Fine then! I'll just leave! I thought humans were meant to be nice! Gosh!,"
The pink pony yelled as she ran off in a huff. Kid just rolled his eyes and began to walk towards the orchard a little faster. Before he knew it, he came to another dirt path leading to a big red farm. He realized looking at all the apple trees around him, he was actually rather hungry. He took an apple off of a medium sized tree to the left. He then wiped it on his shirt until it looked clean.
Just as he was getting ready to take a bite of the delicious looking apple, he saw a bunny run towards him. He stepped aside from the bunny since he considered them vermin. Not scary. Just dirty and Useless. He stepped back to the middle of the path, and just as he was once more ready to take a bite,
" You Nasty Vermin! Get your pitiful flanks back here! This is my orchard! and I won't have useless vermin destroying all my hard work!,"
Yelled a thick southern accented female. Kid jumped a little in shock. He thought he didn't like rabbits, this cowgirl hated them even more. Just seconds later a orange flash whipped around the corner. But just as fast as she'd come around the corner, she slammed into Kid's legs. He almost fell over considering she was about half his height. But he managed to keep his balance
Kid stared at her. This wasn't a human girl.. It was another talking pony. This was really strange. There were two of them? Very, Very odd. The pony laid there for a minute. He wondered if she'd knocked her self out. But that didn't last very long. The pony stood up and whipped herself around to look at Kid.
" What in tarnation are you doing on my farm! And is that- Oh my Celestia you've stolen some of my apples! Thought you were clever didn't you, Thought you were smart? Well ya aren't if you're gonna steal from mah farm! Humans must be really greedy.. You're the first one ah ever laid eyes on, and what do I catch you doin' ? Stealin' mah apples! Well let me tell you buddy, You messed up now!"
~~~
Where Do You Think You're Going?
"Uhh. L-Look, I'm really sorry. But, I didn't mean to steal this in fact you can have it back.. But you could be nicer about it. I never thought candy colored ponies could be so ferocious!,"
Kid Said to the orange pony as he set the apple on the ground. He nodded his Head and stared at her. The pony still looked angry as ever. Her snout was crinkled and her giant green eyes were near slits.
" Now. I'm going to leave. You don't look.. Happy, to say the least. I'm sorry I've angered you by taking a fruit that you have hundreds if not thousands of. Good Day.,"
Kid snarled at the pony. He was ready to walk away, but the cowgirl pony wasn't having that. Every time Kid tried to step around her, she scooted back in front of him. After about 3 minutes of playing this useless game and getting no where, Kid got fed up.
"Please Get out of my way! You're beginning to make me regret saying I was sorry! Now move!,"
Kid Shouted at the pony. She simply refused though
"Last I checked you weren't the boss of me! This is mah farm! I make the rules. Appplejack is not a pony you dare mess with and you did! Why? I don't recall doin' anything to you!,"
Applejack shouted back. She teared up while shouting it at Kid. Kid frowned. While he didn't care for the feelings of those he didn't like, this pony was different. Seeing her cry made him felt kind of bad, because in the pony's perspective, she did have a point.
"Oh... Look. I was jus hungry. I wasn't trying to steal your fruit. Please now. Stop crying immediately "
Kid looked at the pony. She stopped crying. Bu she still looked a bit angry. She sighed and smiled.
"Look. This was just a big misunderstanding. I shouldn't have gotten so mad at you. I'll just forget all this happened, because this clearly was all a big mistake. Ok Sugarcube? L-Let's just start over."
Kid looked at the pony in total confusion. One minute she wants his head torn off and the next she's nice? How strange. Might as well take advantage of the moment before the pony changes her mind.
~~~
