Icarus: Chapter 1
The most terrifying thing about death isn’t the pain. Neither is it one of the horrible ways you can die. It isn’t even that bad. In the end, all pain becomes bearable.
It’s the silence. The emptiness. The moment you realize everything you wanted to do, the thousands of activities to enjoy, the many ponies to meet and befriend… Isn’t possible anymore.
Instead, there is silence. And darkness. None of those two are bad. None of them are good. They’re both neutral. Zero. The only thing waiting for us in the afterlife is eternal silence and boredom.
There is luckily one good thing about death. You can finally rest. Some appreciate it, the relaxing for an eternity, others don’t.
So I hope that, when I die, it will be a hero’s death. I want to be one of those ponies others will remember, write stories and songs about. And that’s one of the reasons why I joined the Royal Guard. And of course, patriotism. My father was in the Royal Guard. He died fighting for our freedom. My brother, Kypselos would also live the same fate. Yes, the fact that we have and will always lose family to war saddens me. But it also makes proud. We did what others could not. We fought for our family. For our friends. For the people. For Equestria. For Celestia.
And that’s where I had my problems with taking the oath. I’ve never met the princess, only heard stories about her. Of course, those stories aren’t completely true. The enemies are horrible monsters, while we are heroes, fearless knights in shining armor, who win all battles easily and without taking too much casualties. I know those are the foal-friendly versions of such stories.
I find it hard to fight for something if I don’t know what it truly stands for. The truth sure isn’t always as heroic as in the tales, but I don’t care. I want to know if this is all worth fighting for. Because I would probably, just like my father and older brother, die fighting for it. In a war, or when trying to stop some crazy criminals. It’s my fate. It’s supposed to end like that.
“Icarus?”
“Yes, mom?”
“Your turn.”
My hooves already were ready. They would work harder than anytime else. My wings. They would help me succeed. It was my fate. It would happen.
I would have to run a quick test before they would allow me to be one of the Royal Guards. It would be a piece of cake. Just like the previous tests.
The test was a course. First some running, then some crawling through mud and some flying afterwards. I would have to make it within 45 seconds.
A metallic, cold beep could be heard. I started running. I arrived at the crawling part. I carefully tried to slip past it.
The flying part would be easy. I jumped in the air. My darkly blue wings would take care of the rest. I finished within 30.23. A very good time. Not my words. I’ve always tried to be modest. But if you were good, you deserved a compliment. That’s just pure logic.
“Congratulations, kid. What’s your name again?”
I turned around. One of the pegasi watching had asked for my name.
It was a more subtle way to say: “Hey! You’re allowed. Congratulations.”
They never really gave direct compliments. You would start to like being a soldier before the real fighting would have ever started if they did.
“Icarus, sir.”
“Icarus?”, the old pegasus asked curiously.
“Like in the old myth, sir.”
“Well then. Don’t fly to high then, I guess.”
I couldn’t help but laugh a little.
I turned around. My mother was just smiling. It made me feel happy. She didn’t laugh that much since father and Kipselos had died. I was glad she was as happy as I was. She gave me a big hug.
“I’m so proud of you, son.”
“Now, mom, I still haven’t done any real patrolling and…”
“But I know you will do great. Just like your father. He would have been really proud, you know.”
That last part hurt.
I never really liked funerals, being sad or the combination of those two. If someone dies, which is indeed a bad thing, you must go on with your life. I always said the next to myself.
“(Insert pony who died here) would not want me to be sad, now would he/she?”
Call me heartless. I call it smart. No energy wasted to emotions. It was efficient. Heartless. But efficient.
“Icarus, say goodbye to mommy.”
Listening to their jokes was harder than the whole course itself.
“Very funny, sir.”
I gave mom one last hug. I wouldn’t see her for a long time. And when she realized that, she started crying.
“Mom…”
She stared at me in utter silence.
“I’ll be fine. Now stop worrying about it and get back home.”
“Son…”
Tears started rolling over her cheeks now.
“Do you promise me to be alive next time I’ll see you?”
That’s a rather dark and nasty thought, mom.
“I do. Now get back to your train, you’ll miss it otherwise.”
And then she left.
I looked at her one more time. She was in the carriage that had taken us to this place. As the carriage left, she and her cold stare did as well.
And then, the first part of my life was over. My mother had taken care of me for many years. Now I would have to take care of myself. I was seperated from her, the only pony in my life that hadn't left me. I had lost my father and brother. Friends had abandoned me. But my mother had always stayed with me. She had never left my side.
Until now.
“Hey kid, you comin’ or what?”
“Oh yeah, sorry. I was in my little trance for a sec there.”
“As long as I don’t see those in the battlefield, I don’t see a problem with 'em, son.”
“You won’t, sir.”
Me and a few other recruits started walking to our new home. The barracks.
“Okay ladies, we’ll get you some uniforms and then the real training can begin.”
The real training?
Oh. Looks like this won’t be so easy after all.
