Complicated Relations

“Cadance.”

“Hmm?” The pink alicorn set down the magazine she had been casually reading. “Can’t sleep?” Concern tinted her voice. “I’m not keeping you awake, am I?” She quickly extinguished the light emanating from her horn, leaving the room bathed only in the natural moonglow coming through the window.

“No, it’s not that.” Shining Armor stared idly at the ceiling for a moment. “I just… There’s something important I need to tell you.”

Cadance sat up and stared at him attentively.

He sighed. “You know how we both agreed to that ‘no secrets’ thing?”

She nodded.

“Well, there’s something… a secret… that I guess you should know.” Shining rubbed his hooves nervously. He had practiced this conversation earlier in the day but within three sentences he had already managed to fall completely off the script he had prepared for himself. He frowned in frustration.

“Oh?” The alicorn’s expression was as close to neutral as could be. “This doesn’t have anything to do with that changeling, does it? Because I already told you, you’re in the clear for pretty much anything she made you do.”

“No, it’s…” He halted, trying vainly to recall the organized sequence of information he was supposed to deliver. “You need to promise not to tell anypony what I’m about to tell you, ever.”

It was Cadance’s turn to frown. “You know I can’t make that kind of promise.” She paused, her features softening. “You know I’d never intentionally hurt you, but if you tell me something that’s… dangerous, I might have to act on it.” She shook her head. “I can’t agree to something before I even know what it is.”

“Right.” His mind briefly recalled the wonderfully deep philosophical discussion they had once had on the nature of promises.

“Shining, did you do something… bad?” she asked, concerned.

“Well, I… I–” He sighed again, and once more tried to collect his thoughts. “If this were just about me, I’d have told you everything already. But… this involves another pony, and I don’t want to break the confidence she and I have.”

“She?” Cadance asked. There was a long silence as the stallion failed to come up with a good response. The pink alicorn gently stroked her husband’s cheek. “I can’t promise to keep a secret I don’t even know yet, but… I hope you can trust me – to do the right thing.”

Shining Armor turned his head to look up at her from his pillow. He rallied his resolve. “It’s about Twilight. Me and Twilight.”

The mare waited calmly for him to continue.

“We…” He drew his breath in sharply. This was proving to be much more difficult than he had planned. It was like pulling teeth. His own teeth. “We did things.”

Cadance blinked.

“With each other.” He had to work to force the words out. “Sexual things.”

“Oh.” The tiniest of smiles appeared on her lips, as if he had just said something amusing. “You know, lots of siblings experiment when growing up. They play ‘doctor’ and practice kissing, touching… rubbing. It’s perfectly natural, and nothing to be ashamed of. You should know that.”

“We did a lot more than just touching,” he revealed. “We had sex.” He watched his wife intently for her reaction, but the alicorn’s face had returned to an image of inscrutable neutrality.

“When did this happen?” she asked with perfectly even tone.

“When we were young,” the unicorn confirmed what his wife had already presumed. His jaw worked itself as the weight of the admission he was about to make threatened to suffocate him then and there. Again, he forced the words out. “When Twilight was very young. I think it was just before you started foalsitting her.”

“I see,” Cadance said, her tone unchanged. She looked away for a moment, still unreadable.

Every inch of the stallion’s body was tense. His poor strategy had left him lying on his back instead of in a more defensible sitting position, but he didn’t dare move. The lack of reaction from his wife was torture. His mind churned through all of the possible outcomes; at any second she might explode in anger and outrage, or start weeping uncontrollably, or storm out and report him directly to Celestia.

The most frightening possibility, though, was the one that seemed most likely at that moment: she would calmly hear him out, then simply tell him to leave, and the divorce papers would come in the mail a few days later. He couldn’t bear to lose her. This was so stupid, he decided. No secrets? Everypony kept a few secrets – and it was for the better. Some things were best left hidden.

“It wasn’t just one time, was it?” Cadance asked, breaking him out of his unpleasant rumination.

He felt like he had swum out into the ocean and could no longer see the shore when he looked back. Maybe if he turned back now he could still make it…

“It’s okay,” she said, and the small smile from before returned. She touched his cheek, and only when he felt the contact did he realise his entire face was burning up. “You’re doing fine. I’m not angry,” she comforted him. He released a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. At this, she stifled a chuckle. “And I’m not planning to suffocate you in your sleep, so you’re not doing me any favours by trying it yourself.”

Shining Armor felt himself relax, albeit not entirely. The smile, the comforting touch, the joke – they had all been genuine. There was no mistaking it.

“It wasn’t just one time, was it?” she repeated.

The words came easier now, though given how difficult the ordeal had been so far, that wasn’t saying much.

“No. We kept doing it. Not very often, but…” He paused. “Even when we grew up, we kept doing it. Even after she moved to Ponyville, every time she came to visit… we’d… mate.” He was tensing up again.

The pink alicorn nodded gently. “So, you started a sexual relationship with your sister when she was just a child, and kept it up well into your adult years,” she summarised.

“Yeah.” He looked at her uncertainly. “What do you think?”

“What you really want to know,” she deduced, “is whether I think what you did was wrong.”

He gave a slight nod.

“I don’t.” She smiled and leaned in to give the surprised unicorn a quick kiss. “It seems Twilight was good at keeping secrets; she never let slip about what you two were up to.” A soft sigh escaped her lips as she stroked his mane. “But you know, I foalsat a lot of kids. I never met another filly who so obviously adored her sibling as much as Twilight did. As far as big brothers go, you really were one of the best.” She looked thoughtful for a moment. “And I think you still are,” she added warmly.

The stallion was stunned. Even the most optimistic prediction he had had for Cadance’s reaction ended with her slowly coming around to an uneasy acceptance. Her simply okaying his actions so easily and unreservedly was perplexing; she hadn’t even heard the details, nor asked about Twilight’s attitude to the whole thing. And yet, he couldn’t deny that this seemed so much more like the mare he knew than any of his inner simulations had been.

“Why are you so laid-back about this?” he asked. “Don’t you believe in rules against incest?”

She smiled introspectively before putting on a countenance that, more than anything, would fit a mother or teacher giving a lesson to an attentive student. “Rules usually exist for a reason, but some ponies can get so caught up in the rules that they forget the reasons – and that sometimes the reasons don’t apply. They put the cart before the horse and invent justifications for the rules instead.” She shook her head. “You know, aunt Celestia said once, ‘There can be no justice so long as laws are absolute. Even life itself is an exercise in exceptions.’ I always thought those were very wise words.”

Shining Armor stared at some nondescript point on the ceiling as his mind processed what he had been told.

“The incest taboo has some good reasons behind it,” Cadance continued after a few moments, “besides the obvious issue of inbreeding, it’s a fact that a sexual relationship complicates emotions; not all ponies can work through the problems it brings. If the romance fails for any reason, it can easily destroy the familial bond as well. When you have… relations with your relations…” A corner of her lips momentarily pulled up. “…it’s so much easier to hurt the one you love.”

She bent down and nuzzled him. “But I don’t think you hurt Twilight,” she told him while caressing the side of his face, “I don’t think I can even imagine it. It’s easy to see how much you love her; how much you care about her.” With a contended sigh, she laid her head down on his chest, allowing the purples and golds of her mane to tickle against his chin. “You’re a good pony, Shining Armor. Much better than you give yourself credit for.”

He moved a foreleg to embrace her, but stopped when something unexpected inside him objected to the whole situation. He had predicted his wife would be apprehensive at the very least, if not outright furious. Although reality was doing wonders to calm him, the anticipation of rejection had not completely faded away, and had turned to a disquieting sort of desire. It was truly bizarre, but a part of himself was now putting forth the disapproval his wife had failed to deliver.

“Cadance, I took my filly sister’s virginity,” he argued.

He felt the weight of the pink alicorn’s head lift from his chest as she sat back up, scrutinizing her husband carefully. “Do you regret doing it?”

“I… I don’t think so,” he began, but the answer had little weight to it as every doubt he had ever had about his illicit bond came flooding into his mind. “Sometimes… I wonder if it was just blind luck that we didn’t end up hurting each other. We were risking so much; if anypony found out…” He wore an almost painful frown. “And what if Twilight would have been better off if we’d just stayed… normal? She told me she wanted it, and it made me feel so close to her, but maybe she was relying on me too much. Maybe without me, she’d have a boyfriend by now. Or even a husband; a family of her own. What if I took all that away from her?”

He sighed loudly. “Maybe I do regret it. I don’t know any more.”

Cadance’s placid expression was marred by a tinge of sorrow as she looked at her distressed lover. It was quickly replaced, however, with yet another one of her small, disarming smiles. “Let me put this another way then.” She looked aside thoughtfully. “If you had a chance to go back in time, knowing everything you know now, do things differently with Twilight…?”

Shining Armor’s eyebrows rose as he took a few short moments to decide on his answer. When he gave it, he spoke softly, but for the first time since this conversation had begun, there was not a hint of doubt or reservation in his voice.

“I wouldn’t change a thing.”

The two ponies’ eyes met, and a smile worked its way onto his face as he looked up at her in understanding; the fog of doubt lifting from his mind. He exhaled deeply, aching tension escaping along with the breath. The alicorn grinned in satisfaction at the sight. Shining, for his part, looked back at her with a mixture of gratitude and amazement.

“How do you do that?” he asked.

“Hel-lo!” she sing-songed playfully as she pointed to her cutie mark, turning slightly sideways to give him a better look. “Special talent, remember?”

They both laughed, sharing a moment of joy that told nothing of the self-torture that Shining Armor had just finished putting himself through. Unfortunately, it didn’t last, and after a few seconds his face fell yet again. Cadance quickly took on the practiced air of neutrality she had been using, keenly aware that her task was not quite finished.

“But… we’re not done yet, are we?” she asked rhetorically. “There’s something else you want to tell me, and none of what you said so far would’ve been so difficult if not for… this thing.”

Mild surprise crossed his face. “Are you sure your special talent isn’t mind-reading?” he joked mirthlessly.

She shook her head lightly. “I know you so much better than you think. Besides, Twilight is coming to visit tomorrow. It’s not hard to figure out,” she offered by way of explanation. After a few seconds of silence, and seeing his reluctance to continue, she prodded gently. “Shining, we both know what you want to ask.”

He remained silent.

“Would you prefer if I said it?”

He frowned. “If we both know what I’m going to say, then does it have to be said?”

“I think you’ll feel better if you do,” she replied.

He slowly nodded in assent, then inhaled a generous lungful of air, steeling against his own words. “I want to have sex with Twilight again!” he blurted out, shut his eyes, and cringed back as if expecting to be hit. He knew Cadance wouldn’t resort to physical assault, but still, he feared the reaction he would get. His wife’s tolerance and understanding so far had surpassed all his expectations, but there had to be a point where his desires would be too extreme to accept, even for her.

Slowly, he opened one eye, then the other. Cadance was examining him curiously, almost academically, seemingly far more interested in his behaviour than in the words that had been spoken.

He finally broke the unnerving silence. “Well?”

“If you’re asking for my permission, you’ve got it.”

His eyebrows quickly gained altitude. “Really?” He stared in disbelief. “Just like that?”

“Just like that,” Cadance replied with a casual shrug and a light smile.

Once again Shining Armor found himself arguing against… himself. “You really don’t have a problem with me… doing my own sister?”

“I already told you,” she reminded him gently, “I don’t think you two are hurting each other – especially now that you’re both adults with your own lives and the confidence to make your own choices. As long as Twilight is willing, I don’t see the problem. The love you have for your sister is… unusual, but it’s not wrong.” She looked away dreamily. “True love rarely is.”

“But, we– we’re married!” he argued. “Unless we have some kind of open relationship that I don’t know about, isn’t this just me cheating on you with another mare?”

“Twilight is not ‘just another mare’!” Cadance objected, staring down her husband scornfully. “She’s your sister! The relationship you have with her is special and… well…” She smiled again. “I think special rules should apply. You remember what I said a few minutes ago about making exceptions?”

He nodded, though he was still uncertain. “You won’t get jealous, knowing what we’re doing?”

“Jealous? I have to admit, I can’t be sure until it actually happens but… I doubt it.” She hesitated briefly, thinking through her words now that the focus had turned from her husband’s feelings to her own. “Shining, I’m your wife. Twilight is your sister. We each have our own unique claims to you.” Her forehoof went back to stroking his mane. “I guess I just don’t see Twilight as any sort of competition. I like her. The bond you two have with each other is so beautiful and so strong… I can’t compete with that, and I wouldn’t want to if I could.”

She lay down beside him, and began to relax into the bed, keeping a foreleg outstretched to maintain contact.

“But just so we’re clear,” she said, suddenly very stern, “Twilight is the only exception you get.”

“Right.”

“We are not in an open relationship, and that won’t change unless both of us agree to that kind of thing.”

“Of course.”

“I’ve certainly been faithful to you, and I expect the same in return.”

“Absolutely.”

“Buuut…” her voice turned slightly whimsical, “if one of us were to ever make a mistake, and do something regrettable…” She left the sentence for him to finish.

“…then that pony should immediately tell the other. And then we’ll work it out, because we love each other.”

“Now you’re getting it,” she congratulated him. “Now, go ahead and ask that last question so we can go to sleep.”

“What question?”

“There’s one more question you have. Let’s get it over with.”

He stared incredulously. “Now you’re freaking me out. I mean, you can’t really read minds.” He looked askance toward her. “Can you?”

“Just yours,” she answered, giving him a playful tap on the nose. “You’re an open book to me.” Her eyes were already half-lidded as she wrapped the bedcovers snugly around herself, settling in for a good night’s sleep.

“You’re bluffing,” he decided. “You can’t know what I’m thinking.”

She gave out a soft, annoyed groan. “You want to ask my permission for one more thing, but it’s not nearly as important as what we’ve already talked about so you’re not sure if you should even bring it up.” She had already closed her eyes by this point, and was now speaking half to him and half into her pillow. “The answer’s ‘Yes’, by the way.”

The white unicorn’s mouth was open, and because his face was currently being supported by his own pillow, he didn’t even have the typical excuse of gravity pulling his jaw downward to explain it. “This is impossible… what am I thinking?!” he demanded.

Cadance opened her eyes slightly, only to allow him to see how they rolled in exasperation. “You want to know if you and Twilight can use our bed. You can.”

“Witch!” he exclaimed, eliciting a short snicker from his mate.

“Good night, dear,” she concluded, closing her eyes once more, “Have fun rutting your sister.” With those words, she relaxed again into her pillow, her body language indicating in no uncertain terms that she was going to sleep.

He sighed in response and rolled onto his back. The whole situation had certainly taken an unexpected turn – or several – but he couldn’t deny that the results had been satisfying beyond his greatest hopes. Cadance was full of surprises, but, he thought, that was a good thing. He loved her above measure; discovering new things about each other would only make their bond stronger. She certainly had him at a disadvantage for now, though. As sleep overtook him, he smiled at the thought of some day understanding her intimately enough to be easily able to tell what she was thinking, just like the way she did with him…

Without warning, Shining sat bolt upright, his eyes wide as he turned and stared at his wife in shock.

“Wait a minute... Me and Twilight…”

Cadance was very much awake and grinning devilishly as she propped her head up casually with a foreleg.

“You already knew!”

The pink pony had to stifle her chuckles. “My, my, you’re finally catching on.” She bumped his chest playfully with her hoof. “Good thing I didn’t marry you for your quick wit,” she teased through her giggles.

He let out a groan of frustration and collapsed limply into his pillow. “You knew, and you just let me babble on like that?!”

“Oh, come now, admit it,” she prodded, “it was more rewarding to do it this way.”

A quiet snort escaped his muzzle. “Maybe…” he conceded with a grumble.

“Besides,” Cadance continued, “after that ‘no secrets’ promise, I just had to know how long it would take you to come clean with me.” Her expression soured. “You certainly took your time,” she admonished. “I was getting worried.”

“It– it wasn’t easy.”

“No, but you made it harder than it had to be.” She sighed, and her face turned gentle once more. “Shining, when I said I didn’t want you to hide anything from me, I didn’t do it because I want to control you… I did it because I want to know you. All of you. The good and the bad. I want to share all of myself with you and I want you to do the same.

“I can’t promise that I will always like what you tell me. Not all our conversations will end as well as tonight’s did. I might get angry or sad, and we might even fight. But I want to love you. The real you; not a carefully-crafted illusion you put in my mind. And all the pain and the anger that comes with the truth… I really think it will be worth it in the end. And one thing I can promise you – that I do promise you right now – I will always do my very best to listen and to understand, and to remember that a single mistake should never be allowed to destroy all that we have together.”

The stallion looked into his lover’s eyes. “Ditto,” he said.

This amused the pink alicorn greatly, and her melodious laughter ended only when Shining locked her lips with his own.

As they broke apart, his eyes glistened, and his expression was almost apologetic. “I don’t deserve you,” he whispered. “I never did.”

A silence overtook the pair as Cadance struggled to formulate a proper response. He had meant those words. As much as she disagreed, simply contradicting him would lead to a very pointless – though not unfriendly – bit of bickering. After a minute or so, an idea finally came to her. She raised herself onto her haunches, and casually pulled the covers off Shining Armor.

“Come on, sit up,” she commanded.

“Huh? What for?” the white stallion asked, even as he unthinkingly obeyed the instruction.

Cadance looked at him, a smirk tugging at one corner of her mouth as the two ponies faced each other. “I’m going to teach you how to do that ‘freaky’ mind-reading thing.” The smile only grew in response to his nonplussed expression. “It’s really not that hard.”

One of Shining’s eyebrows was arching in a mix of suspicion and intrigue. “Okay. How does this work?”

“Put your hoof on my foreleg. It doesn’t matter which one.”

He did as he was told.

“Now… do you love me?”

The question took him slightly aback, but he answered with confidence. “Yes, of course I do.”

“Good,” she gave a warm smile. “Remember that. Think about it. Focus on it.”

He nodded.

“Do I love you?” she asked.

The previous question had prepared him enough that he was able to hide his surprise at this one. “Yes,” he replied.

“Of course I do,” she assured him tenderly. “Remember that. Think about it. Focus on it.”

The stallion took a deep breath as he did his best to follow the steps he had been given. He found that the hoof he was holding against his lover had begun moving in a slow, gentle rub, and a comforting warmth was running up his foreleg and into his chest.

“Now,” Cadance casually delivered the final instruction, “just look into my eyes, and tell me what you see.”

Shining Armor’s blue irises locked onto Cadance’s violet ones. His head cocked slightly to the side as he gazed at her – through her – into her. The vision was a familiar one to him, and at once he felt all that which had attracted him to this mare; which bound him to her. Kindness. Joy. Caring. Gentleness. All in seemingly endless abundance, radiating from her form, washing over him.

This time, though, he was actively looking for something more.

“Me and Twilight…” he started uncertainly, “together…” A wild grin blossomed on his muzzle as his eyes pulled out the revelation. “Me… having sex with my sister… turns you on!”

Cadance broke the stare and blushed slightly. “Congratulations,” she made an attempt at nonchalance. “Told you it wasn’t so hard.”

He was having none of it. Without warning, he pounced, forcing the alicorn onto her back as he landed on top of her. She yelped happily and turned her rapidly reddening face away. His forehooves pushed hers up and away, leaving her helpless against the nuzzling he began to mercilessly deliver to the supple, pink neck, eliciting multiple squeaks of delight. “I never knew,” he said as he nipped at her ear, “that I was marrying such a naughty and perverted little filly!”

With a swift jerk of her body, she threw him off, expertly rolling over so that their positions were switched. Both now wore fiendish grins. Straddling her love, she whispered in his ear.

“Oh, you knew.”