One Thousand Years Ago

by Mudpony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1008

Why does evil always return in one thousand years? The answer lies within.

A thousand years ago, it was foretold that Nightmare Moon would return in a thousand years. Two years after those events, Twilight Sparkle was informed that one thousand years ago, Luna and Celestia defeated King Sombra. But other, less known events happened one thousand years ago as well. This is one of them. One thousand years ago, Celestia held a council meeting in preparation for the one thousand year celebration of the Royal Sisters' reign.

Crossover of a Mr. Show skit and FiM.

Published 2012-11-25 22:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-25 22:50:01 UTC

One Picture's Worth

"All I'm saying is one thousand," the Captain of the Guard said.

"What about it?" asked the Minister of the Interior.

"It is the highest number. I mean, where you gonna go from there?" asked the captain. "You have a brigade of two hundred ponies. You add another and you have four hundred. Add two more and eight hundred. And then one extra unit and you have one thousand. Where can you go from there?"

The minister and the Chief Steward nodded at the captain's wise words. "Yeah, where can you go from there?" the minister said. "One thousand is truly the largest number."

"Gentleponies, can we please return to the matter at hoof?" Celestia asked her council impatiently.

"Of course, Your Majesty," the Chief Steward said. "The preparations for the one thousandth anniversary of your coronation are proceeding on schedule. My chief aide is just finalizing the report and will be in shortly. I apologize for the delay."

"But what about next year?" asked the minister, who had had a troubling thought.

"Next year?" asked the captain.

"If this year is the one thousandth year, and next year is one more, then won't next year be the one thousand and one year celebration? One thousand and one is bigger than one thousand."

Silence fell around the table as the council as they contemplated this unexpected development.

"Look, one thousand is the largest number and that is that," decreed Celestia.

"What about one thousand and one? Or one thousand and two? " the Chief Steward asked, following along the minister's line of thought. "Those are larger than one thousand."

He looked questioningly at Celestia, hoping the wise princess could explain how this could be. The answer came in a flare of Celestia's magic, and he was gone, banished to some far off land. A shriek came from the doorway, followed by a clatter of a scroll hitting the floor, as the aide saw her boss disappear.

"At last. You have the reports on the preparation for the celebration, Chief Steward?" Celestia asked the former aide. "Please summarize."

The newly promoted steward looked at the spot where her predecessor had just been seated. With a gulp, she scanned the report on the floor before her. "Ah yes, of course, Your Majesty. The chefs have assured me all the food will be ready and perfect. The Grand Ballroom is decorated. All of Canterlot has been informed of the parade. And all two thousand invitees have confirmed that they are coming."

"How many have confirmed?" Celestia asked.

"Two thousand, Your Maj---" And the position of Chief Steward was vacant again, in the wake of another teleportation spell's woosh.

"One thousand. One. Thousand. Largest number. Simple," Celestia muttered.

The Minister of Interior shifted.

"You have a thought, minister?" Celestia asked.

The minister hesitated, clearly uncomfortable with answering, but when a god princess asks a question, one answers. "...The military."

"What about it?" asked the captain.

"Well, how many units do you have?"

"We currently have fifteen units," the captain said proudly.

"And each of those consists of two hundred ponies?" the minister asked. The captain nodded. "Then you have fifteen times two hundred ponies. That's three thousand ponies. More than one thousand." He looked around the room, clearly distressed.

"Minister... why do you make me do this to you? Haven't I always been good to you? Did I not promote you from being a mayor of a small town to this position?" Celestia asked, a dangerous tone to her voice.

Luna, who had just entered the chamber, chimed in. "He has a point, sister. Are there not ten thousand stars in my night sky? If so, how can one thousand be the largest number?"

"Moon!" Celestia shouted, her horn flaring. And just like that, her sister was gone. "Um, she was always jealous of my day," Celestia said, looking up at the jagged hole in ceiling while debris rained down around her. "So let it be written."

The meeting was temporarily halted as the court historians were brought in and it was so written. With that done, the meeting resumed.

"Now, Minister, you were saying?" asked Celestia.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so confused," blubbered the minister. "So many numbers. One thousand and one. One thousand, two hundred, I just don't know anymore..." He sat silently for a second. "And what about ten thousand stars?"

"Banished! And then thrown into the dungeon in the place he is banished to!" Again Celestia's horn flared.

The captain dove underneath the round meeting table. When the flare died away, the captain peeked up, to meet Celestia's glare. "I'm sorry, Princess. We were just talking about numbers and we got carried away, that's all. I mean, there's a hundred thousand ponies out there that--" He halted under Celestia's even more intense glare. When he did not find himself banished, he cautiously continued, "There's a... thousand... ponies out there that don't know that one thousand is the largest number, Your Majesty."

Celestia waited for him to carry on.

"I suppose I could go out there and let them know that one thousand is the largest number," the captain suggested.

"See that it is so, Captain. See that it is so."

"On the longest day of the..." The prophet looked nervously at the two royal guards who stood glowering behind her, before continuing, "...Thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about nighttime eternal!"

"Los Pegasus tied the windspeed record of one thousand wing power, set earlier this year by Vanhoover.

"In other news, Fillydelphia was devastated today by an infestation of one thousand parasprites. Three ponies were injured and a thousand pounds of foodstuffs eaten. Princess Celestia has pledged one thousand bits in aid."

Celestia looked at her prized student and spoke, "Even my knowledge of the empire is limited. But what I do know is that it contains a powerful magic. One thousand years ago, King Sombra, a unicorn whose heart was black as night..."