Anvilicious

by cloudedguardian

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, Babs Seed, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 1262

WE'RE ANVILICIOUS!

"WE'RE ANVILICIOUS!"

(One-shot Crack story inspired heavily by the Twilightlicious fad as well as, of course, the brand new MLP episode, "One Bad Apple"
Title comes from the Trope term.)

Published 2012-11-25 20:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-25 20:30:01 UTC

Anvilicious

Inside Sugarcube Corner was a somewhat odd sight. If anyone even stopped to look, a rare occurrence after getting used to Pinkie Pie's various antics, they would see all four CMC studiously investigating pieces of paper, as well as Twilight who for some reason had a camera, and was obsessively fussing over...Well, everything.

“Err… Okay, let’s give this a shot…” Applebloom said slowly, giving the piece of paper she was holding in her hooves a toss over her shoulder as she stepped towards the middle of the room. Once there, she gave a hopeful smile to Twilight, and took a deep breath as the camera clicked on.

I’m the A, to the P-P-L, an’ another E… No wait…

Twilight’s head hit the wall with a gentle thud as Applebloom picked up the piece of paper again to reread it.

“Sweetie, how does this go again?”

Sweetie didn’t have a chance to reply before Scootaloo did an irritated stomp.

“Applebloom you’re ruining it!”

“Sorry Scootaloo, but this is kinda confusin’…”

“Lay off you two, just do it over.” Babs sighed, Twilight giving a quick and agreeing nod with a hint of exasperation, and the two fillies shrugged, before Applebloom tossed her paper aside again and stood in front of the camera once more.

A-a-hem.

A-P-P, L-E-B, L and double O, then M, is what I am!

An’ when it comes between foes and friends, I’ll always choose them!

“That doesn’t rhyme.” Scootaloo said quickly, earning a glare from the yellow filly.

“Does so.”

“Does not.”

‘Does so!”

“It’s close enough!” Sweetie Belle yelled, slamming her hooves down on the wooden counter.

“Sorry Sweetie.” Applebloom and Scootaloo intoned together, giving their unicorn friend a sheepish look.

“Thank you.” Sweetie said promptly, an angelic smile darting across her face.

Babs on the other hand, seemed to be still mulling something over.

“Them who?” She asked suddenly, causing Applebloom’s head to snap up with a hint of confusion.

“My friends!” She said quickly, waving a hoof for emphasis. “Duh.”

“Don’t Duh me.” Babs snapped, glaring at her cousin with all her might.

“Ah’m not duhing you, I’m just sayin’ it’s obvious.” Applebloom replied hastily, caught somewhere between trying to make amends and defending her line.

“But it isn’t.” The bronze filly protested, causing Applebloom’s ear to twitch in irritation.

“Yes. It is.” Applebloom said slowly, glaring back at her cousin.

“Is not!” Came the snapped protest.

“Is so!” Came the snapped defense.

“Is not!”

“Is so!”

“Is not!”

“Is-”

“GIRLS!” Twilight yelled, deafening all three and putting an end to the fight with a withering glare she had apparently inherited from Celestia.

“Sorry.” The two Apples said together, before shooting one last glare at each other. Twilight rolled her eyes before looking back down at the script.

“Scootaloo, your part comes after this.”

“I can’t figure mine out.”

“What do you mean you can’t figure it out?” Sweetie Belle asked with a hint of exasperation as she trotted over to look at the script.

“Yeah, weren’t you gotten mad at me for havin’ issues with my lines?”

“Well yours probably made more sense!” Scootaloo shot back.

Sweetie Belle puzzled over the piece of paper for a long second, before realization seemed to dawn and she flipped the paper over.

“Scootaloo, your lines are on the back.. You’re reading Pinkie’s cupcake recipe.”

“Oh. Well that explains it. You know, this is a lot simpler than I thought it would be.” Scootaloo said, raising an eyebrow slightly.

“Well, now that you’re actually reading your lines, I imagine they would be.” Babs said bluntly, giving Scootaloo a look as if her wings had just quadrupled in size… Or had just turned purple.

“No, I meant the recipe. It’s so… Normal, and… Basic… It’s kinda stupid but I thought it would be more-“

“HEY!” Pinkie’s voice echoed from the back, and caused all four fillies to jump a good inch in the air. “The fourth wall’s mine! Hooves off!”

“What. Is she talkin’ ‘bout?” Applebloom deadpanned, looking at her friends with a the small desperate hope for an explanation.

“It’s Pinkie Pie.” Twilight sighed, in place of one. It seems that even the logical bookworm had given into that fact. “Now can we please do this properly?”

“Sure Twilight I got this. Ready girls?”

“You bet!”

“Definitely.”

“Let’s go!”

*GASP*

A-P-P, L-E-B, L and double O, then M, is what I am!

An’ when it comes between foes and friends,

Whether through swamp or under ladder,

I’ll always choose the latter!”

“Good one Applebloom!” Scootaloo whispered.

“Thanks!” The yellow filly beamed, her smile quickly dimming as she caught Twilight’s glare.

“SHHH!”

“Sorry.” The two said quickly, before grinning at each other at the fact that for the second time they had actually managed to apologize in unison.

Scootaloo cleared her throat before jumping in front of the camera with a flourish:

I’m the S to the C, double O T-A and L, add another two O’s

And we’ve got the start of an awesome show,

We’ve got four fillies, awesome, strong, and proud-

Now listen up for our story, cause we’re gonna sing it loud!

I’m the S, to the W, E-E-T-I-E, and then it’s simply Belle,

And when it comes to bullies,

We’ve got a tale to tell!

I’m the B to the A-B-S, add an S-E-E-D!

And when it comes down to things,

I’ll find my place to be just me,

WE’RE ANVILICIOUS!

“PERFECTION!” Twilight said happily, shutting the camera off with a delighted grin. “Oh, everyone’s going to love this! Thanks girls!”

Twilight quickly gave each of the CMC a quick hug before darting out the door with an almost Pinkie-like bounce.

“Is Anvilicious even a word?” Sweetie asked, turning to look at each of her friends, who all gave her a very similar shrug.

“You’re the dictionary Sweetie, don’t ask me.” Scootaloo muttered… A comment that was not lost on the white unicorn beside her.

“What was that?” Sweetie Belle asked slowly, narrowing her eyes at the orange pegasus beside her.

“N-nothing.”

Applebloom suppressed a snort at the look Scootaloo had. She was about as good of a liar as Applejack, and they had a very similar look when they were caught in an obvious one.

“I’m pretty sure I heard you say something… Chicken.”

Scootaloo’s wings flared out as her fur stood on end in anger.

“I am not a chicken!”

“You sure fly like one!”

“LOW BLOW!”

“Girls!” Applebloom was quick to try and get into the middle of it, but she was just as quickly bumped out. “Babs, help me out here!”

“Maybe I don’t wanna.” The bronze filly said stiffly, determinedly looking out the bakery window instead.

“Huh? Why no- Oh right. My comment.” Applebloom took a deep breath. “I’msorryyoutookitthewrongwayItendtosaystupidthingsandApplejacksaysIoftenstickmyhoofinmymouthanditcertainlyleavesabadtasteandI’llmakeituptoyoubut-“ She had to stop to take a large gasp of air, “But right now that doesn’t matter! Please help me break these two up. You don’t wanna know what happens if they keep goin’ like this.”

That caught her attention.

“Why, what happens?”

“Ah just said you don’t wanna know, but if you care that much, I’ll show you the pictures. Now are you gunna help me or not?”

Babs seemed to think it over for a second before darting over and helping her cousin out.

Pinkie watched the fight from her spot in the kitchen with a look of nostalgia. With a soft giggle she disappeared around the corner again, with just one thing to say.

“Those four really are sisters.”