Pillow thoughts
Becoming Perfect
Previous ChapterNext ChapterChapter 7
Becoming perfect
Twilight was enjoying the fresh air as she was on her way to Sweet Apple Acres. She was fully recovered from the cave-episode and started working again on her experiments. The day started out rather interesting. She managed to change the colour of a piece of parchment, which proved to be a little more difficult than it seemed. Now she wanted to try it on something more... organic.
“Some apples should be perfect for this,” she thought to herself as she strolled near the big red barn. It was still cloudy outside and most of the trees were already starting to change their colours. It would soon be time for the Running of the Leaves Festival. That always gets Rainbow and Applejack in a good mood.
But not today.
“Ah thought I was clear about this!”, a voice came from inside the barn. Twilight knew it was Applejack’s, but what could’ve made her so upset? She cautiously approached the wooden building and opened the big door that was already set ajar.
“Yeah, sorry, AJ. I just got one barrel mixed up, I’ll move it right now!”, said Rainbow, as she started pushing a barrel around.
“Ah told you to split them evenly on the left and right side of the barn. If we have twenty apple barrels on the left and eighteen on the right, we can easily lose count later on! Ah don’t wanna have to count them again each time ah move one out!”, replied the orange pony, pointing at the pile of brown barrels.
“Uh, hey!”, said Twilight, announcing her presence.
“Oh, hey Twi”, said Applejack, smiling, as she came to greet her. “What brings y’all here?”
Between two grunts and a gasp, Rainbow waved to Twilight as she pushed the heavy barrel towards one of the piles.
“I... uh... could come back later”, the purple unicorn said, but Applejack just waved her hoof.
“Nonsense, we were just finishing in ‘ere. Well, ah was... Rainbow still needs to double-check all this.”
A background groan made her turn towards the blue pegasus, who was trying to lift the barrel and place it on top of the others. “Don’t ya drop it, these are our best ones!”, she snapped at the poor pony and then turned to Twilight. “What can ah do for you?”
“Oh, um... I was just experimenting on some... things... and I wanted to try changing the colour of some apples. Turns out, I ran out of apples... and I know you always have the best sort around. I need four or five. Red ones, please”, replied Twilight and then quickly added: “I’ll pay for them, of course.”
“Sure, no problem! Ah’ll just get you some from the house, follow me!”, said the orange pony as the two of them exited the barn.
Rainbow just leaned over the barrel pile, huffing and puffing, wiping the sweat off her forehead. She lifted her head and started counting.
Twenty-one and seventeen.
“Horseapples.”
***
“Since when does Rainbow work at the farm?”
“Since about a week ago... ten days tops”, replied AJ, frowning a bit.
“Oh, was she in need of bits or something?”
“Nah, she’s just helpin’ out! She can leave whenever she wants”, explained the orange pony. “She usually does leave for a couple of hours some days, to do her weather-related duties... but then she comes right back and helps out ‘round here”.
“How... considerate of her!”, said Twilight, trying her best to smile.
“Considerate? HA! It would be considerate of her if she’d do her job right. Yesterday she was supposed to fix one of the fences and she nailed a plank crookedly. An’ a few days ago, she delivered sixteen apples to a customer instead of fifteen.”, said AJ, opening the door to her house. “Here you go, Twi, have ten apples, on the house.”
As Applejack was putting apples in Twilight’s bag, she kept talking about Rainbow’s mistakes. “Not to mention that during one of our orders, she managed to lose an orange on the way! These things don’t grow on trees, ya know!”
“Well, actually, they kind of—“
“Speakin’ of which, here, have two oranges too. Different colors might give you a challenge, eh?”, said Applejack, laughing. “Ah know how passionate y’all are about yer experiments. Good for the heart!”
“Uh, thanks...”, replied Twi, not really knowing what to say. AJ was acting pretty weird. “Are you sure you don’t want me to pay for them? It’s your hard work after all”
“No no no, we have so many, ah can always spare some for your experiments. You should’ve asked sooner, really!”, concluded the orange pony, smiling.
“O-kay then! Thank you! I’ll let you know how it goes then!”
“Y’all be sure to do that! And you should come and visit more often, Twi. Ah’m always happy to see you! Haven’t had a meal with friends in a looong time.”
“Well”, replied Twilight, scratching her right ear, “We did have those sandwiches in the cave, haha!”
Mentioning the cave was probably not the smartest thing she did that day. Applejack just nodded and went out the door, but Twi knew she might’ve reminded her of that discussion. Actually, since they returned from their scary adventure, Applejack was a bit edgier than usual... and Rainbow was nowhere to be seen, well, until now.
Twi got an idea.
“Hey, AJ?”, she said, following the pony back to the barn. “Do you mind if I borrow Rainbow for a few hours?”
“Why would I mind? She can go away whenever she wants to”, replied the pony, looking somewhere in the distance, as if thinking about other things.
“I’m not gonna keep her long... and I’m quite sure she doesn’t want to
“Ah mean, yeah, sure, whatever”, said AJ, entering the barn. She quickly counted the barrels, completely ignoring Rainbow who was lying on the floor, with bits and pieces of hay in her hair and on her coat, panting. “Hm...”, she mumbled, which probably meant that the job was done, judging on RD’s expression of relief.
“Rainbow, care to take a break?”, started Twiling, smiling. “I was just preparing some... stuff and I would enjoy some company for two or three hours, if you want”
“Rainbow pricked up her ears. She looked at Applejack who made herself busy in the corner with dusting off pieces of hay from the barrels. She turned to Twilight and nodded. Just to be safe, she turned again to AJ and told her: “I’ll be back in a few, AJ”, but she didn’t get any response.
The ponies exited the barn as Rainbow took one last look at her orange friend who still didn’t react to her leaving.
***
“Alright, what’s going on?”, asked Twilight as she closed the door of her treehouse behind her. “I can’t leave you two alone for a minute”
“Huh?”, asked RD, not knowing where she was going with this.
“Well” continued Twi, “I actually left you alone for a week, but that’s beside the point.”
She placed her bag full of apples and oranges on the floor and turned toward the pegasus. “How did you end up working on AJ’s farm?”
“Well, she asked me if I can come over to help her move some bales of hay... and I just... stuck around, I guess”, replied Rainbow, sitting down. She could really feel her legs being sore after all that work. Funny, she didn’t really feel it that much before. “Anyway, I’m just helping her out. I can’t sleep, so why not do something useful during that time. Besides, when I’m really, really tired, I do manage to fall asleep faster, so that helps too, I guess”.
“Okay, I can understand that”, said Twilight, who started cleaning up her work-table to prepare for the next experiment. “But doesn’t it bother you that Applejack keeps asking you to do stuff, and then she gets angry when you don’t do it right? I mean, I suppose she was not in a bad mood today... I tend to think she’s like that all the time. At least lately. Am I right?”
Rainbow shrugged: “I don’t mind... I’m not used to this kind of tasks, it’s normal that I sometimes mess it up”.
“Wait, hang on, back up... you don’t mind?! ...You...don’t mind?”
“No, Twi, what’s the big deal? I do my best and learn from what I’m doing wrong. What’s your problem?”
Twilight blinked once or twice before deciding to do something... stupid. Either way, it could help her make a point.
“Well, my problem is that for the past days I had a big cloud on top of my house and you did not take care of it. It’s not that hard to go up there and do a good job, you know.”
In less than a fraction of a second, Rainbow was up on all fours. “Are you kidding me?! Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to work your flank off each day on the farm and then go and do your normal job?! What the HAY, Twilight?!! Do you really expect me to do all those things like that? Are you CRAZY?!”, she shouted, flaring her nostrils. “AND WHY are you SMILING so STUPIDLY at me?!?!”
“I bet you and Applejack always fight over there at the farm... she must ask so much of you”, said Twilight and continued smiling.
Rainbow’s ears went flat: “Well, uh, no... not really. I mean, it’s not that hard, once you get used to it.”
Twilight giggled.
“Okay, that’s it, Twilight. I didn’t come here to be laughed at. I don’t know what’s wrong with you today, but I’m out of here!”, shouted Rainbow, furiously as she was heading towards the window.
“Well, that is the big deal!”
“Huh?”, replied RD, turning around.
“You’ve gathered quite a bit of frustration there, RD... and you just refuse to let it all out on the source: Applejack. You just
“Applejack needed my help, Twi.”
“Yes, well, I’ll have a talk with her later about that... in the meantime, since there’s just the two of us here... Am I right when I assume that you started sleeping a bit better since you started working on the farm?”
“Yeah, I told you, if I go to bed tired, I fall asleep faster.”
“How do you wake up?”
Rainbow scratched her head. “Okay, I guess.”
“Hmmm... Surely there are days when there’s not much work to be done over there. Especially since the bucking season is over.”
“So?”, replied RD, not liking where this was going.
“Okay, let me just go out on a hoof here and say that you started sleeping since AJ gave you a room to sleep in at the farm.”
Rainbow’s eyes widened. How did she know that? This was just between her and AJ... and, well, the Apple Family. But still, Twilight had no way of knowing that.
“Applejack, uh, did give me a room, yeah... since we both worked together until nightfall, she saw to it that I don’t have to fly out so late.”
“Mhm”, replied Twilight, crossing her front hooves, pleased with the fact that she was right. “Do you miss your
Those last words fell heavily on Dash. She lifted herself from the ground and flew right in front of Twilight. “Ah do not!!”
The purple unicorn really tried her best to hide her grin, since she didn’t want to annoy Rainbow too much.
“I mean, I... I do not. I...me...”, Rainbow corrected herself as she gently landed on the floor. “It’s the...time spent on the farm. I...”, she mumbled, trying to explain the weird outburst.
“Mhm”, said Twi as she laid down on her belly, in front of the pegasus. “It’s just the two of us, Rainbow. Nothing leaves this room.”
Dash looked at her friend then down at the wooden floor. Her heart started racing as she remembered bits and pieces of conversations with AJ. Indeed, she felt a bit more rested since she started sleeping over at AJ’s place, despite all the hard work she was doing during the day. She loved having breakfast and dinner with her, she loved seeing her put so much effort and passion in her work... she loved...
“Yeah...”, Dash said, blushing. “Yeah, I miss ...that.”
Twilight smiled, endearingly. As much as she cared for her blue friend, she had to do this right, all the way through.
“So?”, she coldly responded, shifting her expression before Rainbow could notice.
“So.. what?”, asked RD.
“So what are you gonna do about it?”
RD opened her mouth... and closed it again. She didn’t know what to say.
Twilight knew it was a huge step for the blue pegasus, just admitting that to herself. Not to mention admitting it to a close friend which she could trust. Even so, this entire thing has been going on for far too long and it was clearly tearing Rainbow apart.
Applejack wasn’t doing too well either, but Twilight was going to get to her later.
“I can’t tell her”, suddenly Rainbow broke the silence.
“Why?”, asked Twilight, keeping her face motionless.
“I already freaked her out enough lately, don’t you think? Not to mention that I probably wouldn’t be capable of saying it myself. It’s not exactly something you hear in a day-to-day conversation”
“What isn’t?”
“You know... this...”
“This what?”
Rainbow frowned... she knew she had to say it, otherwise they would probably get nowhere.
“You can’t just walk up to somepony and say ”, she said, quickly, to get it over with. Her blush rivalled Twilight’s purple color... even so, the unicorn did not back off.
“Yes, you can’t just tell that to somepony... but Applejack is not just somepony.”
“I can’t tell her that”, protested Rainbow. Why couldn’t Twilight understand?
“I’m not saying you should tell her that. It would just be creepy!”
“You see?”
“But... nopony says that you can’t tell her how you feel. After all, if you just wanted a cozy pillow to sleep on, you wouldn’t have
Twilight got up and slowly started to walk towards the door.
“I never felt this before in my life... I have no idea how to handle this.”, said the pegasus, covering her face with her hooves. She let out a grunt: “Why isn’t there a manual for this!?”
“There are guidelines, and you’ve just taken a crash course through them”, replied the unicorn, opening the front door.
“Wait, you’re kicking me out?! I can’t go back to the farm like this!!”, shouted Dash, desperately. “Can’t you talk to her for me? Or maybe just forget about the whole thing and let it slip by? Or, wait, I know! We just write a letter and we send it to her... and then we--
“I’m sorry... it doesn’t work like that”, concluded Twilight, smiling and pointing towards the exit.
***
“Hey, AJ”
“Hey, Twi, what’s the matter? Somethin’ wrong with the apples?”, replied Applejack as she was hanging one of her ropes on the fence.
“No, they’re fine... listen, can we talk for a few minutes?”
“Uh, sure!”, she nodded, looking around. “Wait, where’s Dash?”
“She’ll come by soon... I just wanted to talk to you about something, in a little more private space, if possible? Like...your room?”
“Al-right... why mah room? Are you in some kind of trouble?”
“No trouble at all and your room is just fine, thank you”, replied the unicorn, following her slightly confused friend as they entered the house.
They climbed the stairs and entered the first door on the right. Applejack’s room was not very big, but it was cozy and warm. Well, as warm as it could be on this kind of weather. Applejack closed the door and turned to Twilight with a concerned look.
“What’s this all about?”, she asked.
“Two important things... First thing: Rainbow. Well, she isn’t really a thing, she’s a pony, but you know what I mean. What’s going on with you two?”
“Ah don’t know what you’re talkin’ about. I asked her if she can help out ‘round here and she does. End of story”, explained Applejack. She kept shifting from one front leg to the other, seeming very uncomfortable.
“Listen, AJ”, she started... but then she stopped. Twi had to use some other method to make sure Applejack doesn’t freak out or anything. “Um, Rainbow broke one of your barrels”.
“She did what?!”, jumped the orange pony. “That silly multi-colored broomstick, ah’m gonna... ah’m gonna...”
“Relax, AJ, hey... relax, why are you getting so upset everytime she does something wrong?”
“Well, she... she shouldn’t do anything wrong! Ah mean, if she wants to help ‘round here, she should do her job right and not get in mah way like that. Those barrels cost a lot... or take a lot of time to make!”, she responded, angrily.
“It’s not really her job... she can easily spend her time elsewhere, doing something she likes, and you’re being a bit too harsh on her.”
“Ah’m not keeping her here! Ah told her she can go whenever she wants to. Life on the farm is not for everypony!”, she said, stomping her hoof on the floor.
“Well you’re making it impossible for her to enjoy it here! Why are you testing her like that?”
“How else would ya like me to test her?!”, shouted AJ... and then immediately shoved a hoof in her own mouth.
Bingo.
Twilight sat down and waited for AJ to recover from the shock she gave herself. “Ah mean... ah... Well, it’s not like that. Ah’m just... I don’t know, Twilight... I sometimes don’t realize that I’m doing that.”
“It’s okay... apparently she doesn’t fully realize that either”, replied the purple pony.
“What do ya mean?”
“Well, she keeps coming here, despite your outbursts and demands... she’s either crazy or, maybe, she’s just incredibly bored. Or she just likes being shouted at”, said Twi, giggling.
AJ gave her a crooked, semi-apologetic smile: “Heh, ah doubt it... gee, ah didn’t want to be so harsh. It’s farm-work, Twi... ah don’t like it when some ponies don’t take care of their work”
“Some ponies?”
“Well, ponies that work with me”
“Like, partners?”
“Yeah, something like that...”, she said, blushing a little at the ambivalence of the term. “but if she really wants to work here, she has to know and to be sure that she wants to give 110% of everything she can. Ah mean, yesterday, she almost took the entire day off to go do something
“You yourself said that she doesn’t have to stay here if she doesn’t want to...”
“Ah know, but—“
“Applejack, you are giving her difficult stuff to do and you criticize every single aspect of her work. Nopony is perfect...”
“Ah know”, said AJ, quietly, lowering her ears.
“...so why do you want so badly for her to be perfect?”
It’s funny how some ponies don’t realize things even if they’re right in front of them. What’s even funnier is that, sometimes, they know that they were able to see those things, but deliberately ignored them due to fears or insecurities.
Being honest is not easy all the time, but even more difficult than that is being honest with oneself. Judging by applejack’s blush, she probably had come to terms to what she was trying to do with the poor pegasus. Well, not exactly.
“Ah’m not testing her for that!”, she snapped.
“For what?”
To quote a certain princess,
“For...uh... ah... Consarn it, Twi! Stop playing with mah head! Ah’ve got work to do!”
“Yeah, you do... that’s the second thing I was going to talk to you about.”, and with that, the purple unicorn went over to the window and opened it. A few seconds later, Dash flew in.
“Ah really need to buy one of them locks for mah room”, Applejack thought. “What is this, a train station?!”, she snapped, turning towards the unicorn, but Twilight already left the room.
***
“What exactly is going on here?”, Applejack rightfully asked.
“Twilight made me do it”, came the response from a very perplexed Dash. “She kind of said that she’ll change the color of my mane to monochrome if I don’t talk with you.”
“Dash, there’s nothin’ to talk about, we both have work to do and—“
“Just shut up and sit down”, said the pegasus, calm but firm. Applejack sat down instantly, and spent the next couple of seconds wondering why she did that in the first place. It was her house after all.
“There’s no short way around this”, continued Dash, approaching the earth pony. AJ was just looking at her, not knowing what to expect, but Dash walked right by her and locked the door. “Nopony leaves this room until we settle this once and for all”. She took out the key and graciously threw it out the window.
Applejack blinked and tilted her head to the right. “An’ how do we get out once we settle this?”
Rainbow widened her eyes and looked out the window, then back at AJ, then out the window again. “Hm... I didn’t really plan this through. I’m really gonna have to write a manual about this”
“About what?”
“About this... hey, I told you to be quiet”
“Being quiet”, replied AJ, confused.
Rainbow sighed, took a deep breath and began: “I have no idea what will happen after this discussion, but it’s probably better to have something happen, rather than keep this state of... confusion and craziness. “
“Ah agree!”
“Shush!”
“Shushing.”
“Therefore, if nopony is going to do anything about this, I figured I should take the first step and tell you. I know it will be hard but, in the end, it will do us both some good. After all, you deserve to know... and I want to apologize in advance in case this ends up ruining our friendship.”
“Well, Ah’m a bit angry at you.”
Rainbow blinked.
“Umm, I haven’t even started telling you about--”
“Well, ah already know! And Ah’m not too happy about it, Dash.”
She knew?? Already?? But how?! Wait, of course she did, she wasn’t stupid. Dash felt silly now by going through all this trouble to talk to her... of course, the result is not exactly pleasant, but—
“You broke mah barrel.”
“I did what?!”
“Mah barrel. Y’all broke it. Twilight told me, and I’m not too happy about it.”, explained Applejack, crossing her front hooves.
Rainbow facehooved. “Applejack, that was Twilight’s way of... wait, why would she... nevermind, I did not break any barrel. All the barrels are safe! All of them! Every single heavy-as-hay one of them!”
“Good, problem solved, go get the key.”
“AJ, I swear I’m gonna tie you up with your own rope if you don’t shut up and listen for a minute”, said Dash, trying desperately to get a grip in this conversation. RD took a few steps towards her orange friend... probably her orange ex-friend after this talk. “I’m having these feelings... these... I don’t know what to call them... I’m just very, very sad lately. The only moments in which I’m not sad is when I’m with you. I don’t know if that makes sense or not...”
She started pacing around the room, trying to focus on her thoughts, measuring every sentence carefully. “I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you as a friend... but I’ve never felt this before and, I think I know what’s going on.”
She stopped and looked at her friend. Applejack had a surprised look on her face. On the other hand, unknown to Rainbow, AJ’s heart was going at a couple of hundred miles per hour. She didn’t know if she was ready to hear this.
“No... enough confusion... I know what’s going on”, continued Rainbow. She wanted to do this right, no matter what the consequences were. No turning back. “AJ... I know and I’m sure about it, 110%.”
Applejack’s ears fell to the back of her head, recognizing her own words. Dash took another deep breath and looked down, blushing hard. No. She must do this right. She forced herself to look into her friend’s eyes.
“Applejack...”, she started... but the words wouldn’t come out of her mouth. She took another deep breath. “I...”, she tried again. Nothing. It was the scariest thing she ever had to face. Nevermind the past fights, nevermind the recent fall-off-the-mountain episode... she was scared that she might be rejected.
Silence.
Applejack looked down at the floor. She felt sorry for Dash and admired her so much at the same time. She also envied her for being able to, at least, recognize and admit those feelings of hers. AJ was not-so-brave when it came to that... she just knew how to run away from things she couldn’t understand.
This was beyond everything she knew, everything she was taught, everything she experienced. It was too much for her to handle. Far too much.
She got up from the floor and approached Dash. She wanted so much to be able to understand things and to live her own feelings without being afraid of them, or of what others might think or say. She couldn’t handle it... she just couldn’t.
She just came closer and closer to Rainbow, who started shaking, overwhelmed by the situation. With her head down, she reached the pegasus and put her head on Rainbow’s shoulder. If she couldn’t handle it, she would do her best to help Rainbow handle those feelings for both of them.
Dash looked at the earth pony and slowly embraced her. She was exactly as the pegasus remembered... the warmth and that small scent of apples that was so unique... Applejack rubbed her muzzle on Rainbow’s neck and gave her a small lick. She smiled as she saw the pegasus’ wings expanding. She took a small step back and looked at Rainbow.
Dash’s eyes were glowing, she had never been so happy in her life. “Hang on, I.. I have something for you”, she said, and gently lifted herself in the air. She flew out the window and two seconds later she brought in AJ’s gift. “Remember when I told you yesterday that I had to take care of something? ...well, this is why I’ve been gone the whole day”.
She placed AJ’s hat on the earth pony’s head. Applejack was speechless... it was the nicest thing anypony ever did for her. Dash probably spent hours and hours searching for this, all because it belonged to her.
Forget the difficult tests, forget all that talk about the perfect partner... There is no such thing as a perfect partner. But one can find somepony, some imperfect pony, who is perfect in their eyes.
Keeping her promise not to say a word, she just went over to the window and closed it shut. She then turned towards Dash and locked her lips on hers.
The kiss did not last an eternity, she didn’t feel like she could fly, there were no sparks or fireworks. It was just her and Rainbow. And that was more than enough.
They hugged and continued kissing, slowly making their way towards the bed. They climbed onto it, as Rainbow started licking Applejack’s neck, making her moan lightly. Then, suddenly, they stopped. RD looked into AJ’s eyes.
“Applejack...”, she started. “Do you...?”
“Yeah... Ah... ah know...”
“But this is... impossible...”
“Ah don’t know about that, sugarcube... but this was not our first kiss”.
- End of Chapter 7 -