Equestria's Thaumaturgist

Chapter 4: Arrangements Part 1

Will began to stir. Okay, I’m slung over something, it’s moving, it’s soft, and it’s warm. What could it be? Oh, right, maybe I should open my eyes. And so he did just that. What met his gaze was a wall of white, and some wavy golden-yellow lines near the edge of his vision. … I am being carried on the back of a sun-moving, royal, alicorn goddess. What would be an appropriate response…?

“I am conscious.” I stated. The hushed conversations that had been going on stopped suddenly.

“Will!” Twilight said, sounding a little nervous. “How are you? Can you walk? I think you should walk.” She said quickly.

“Yeah I can probably walk by now. Princess, could you let me down?” I asked, confident that by now I should be fine. I was conscious after all.

“Hmmm, no.” answered the alicorn in what I swore to be a playful tone.

“Um, I- I think that you should get down.” Said Twilight, obviously uncomfortable with the situation for some reason.

“You heard the alicorn, Twilight. It’s best not to argue with sun goddesses. I can speak from experience.” I told her, ignoring the snickering from the others.

“Experience?” Celestia questioned.

“I may or may not be friends slash enemies with a large number of gods and/or titans and/or spirit beings.” I said slowly, waiting for their reactions.

“And?” Celestia asked.

“Well, some of them I covered for, did a quest for, we just got along, I punched them in the face-“

“You did what!?” Twilight shrieked, clearly horrified by the idea of me bodily assaulting, and then becoming friends with, several beings of a deific nature.

“I only punched three… I think. Anyway, if I may ask where are we going?” I said, steering away from that topic.

“To my personal chambers, Luna is waiting there for us.” Replied Celestia in a more regal tone than the last two times she spoke.

“Luna… let me guess, she’s either black or dark blue, controls the moon, and is your… younger… sister?” I said.

“How did you figure that out, egghead?” asked Rainbow Dash, finally speaking for the first time since I woke up.

“Her name. Luna means ‘moon’ in an ancient language on Earth. Also, I expect her to be at least a partial opposite of Celestia here.” I said.

“…you haven’t moved since you woke up. Are you okay?” asked Fluttershy.

“Oh, yes I’m fine. Celestia here is just very soft.” I said. I swear that I could literally hear her blushing.

“We’re here.” The Solar Alicorn stated before another conversation could begin. The sound of a wooden door opening met my ears. And yes I could tell by the sound it was wood. Two thousand years can leave one ample opportunity to get bored and find useless things to occupy time.

“Sister!” a new voice rang out. “Are thou okay? Were thou harmed? …what is that creature upon thy royal back?”

I raised my hand in an amiable manner. “Hello Luna, I’m Wilhelm, but you can call me Will.”

“Wouldst thou care to explain why thou art upon our sister’s backside?” she queried.

“Well it started with me being knocked out, then she refused to let me down. Plus your sister is very soft.” To punctuate I poked Celestia in the side, causing her to twitch.

“Indeed, our sister is quite soft.” Said Luna, also poking Celestia, which elicited another twitch.

“…” I poked her again, and this time the twitch was accompanied by a snort.

“…” Luna again.

“…” me.

“…” at this one Celestia let out a small laugh, which was all Luna and I needed. We began to tickle Celestia, Luna jumping around, while I just lay there, poking and tickling her from her back. It was all good fun until Celestia bucked, sending me into the ceiling and back down to meet the tile floor. There was a loud crack as marble met skull. The room was deathly silent until I sat up and they saw what had made the noise.

“Oh no! Are you okay? Let Nurse Fluttershy have a look at you.” Said Fluttershy, speaking in a normal tone for the first time.

“No need, I’ve taken far harder hits than that. Sorry about the floor.” I said, sheepish grin directed at Celestia. “Just let me fix that for you.” She was about to protest when I placed a single finger on the cracked tiles and they began to glow bright green, the rough edges merging together smoothly.

“That is highly advanced magic Will. Where didst thou learn it? And how can thou perform magic without a horn?” asked Luna.

“I’m the Thaumaturgist, I know a lot of things.”

“That did not answer our other question.” She deadpanned, clearly not finding my explanation satisfactory.

“Second verse same as the first.” I said cheerfully.

“While on the topic of advanced magic, I would like to ask what you did to the changelings.” Twilight interjected.

I blushed a bit here. “Yeah, that was a banishment invocation. On the changelings it was easy; they have very little individuality and as such almost no resistance to having their Presence pushed away by mine. Chrysalis was another matter, she I had to fight a bit. And I’ve never done that on such a large scale either. You probably didn’t notice, but I banished all of the changelings in the city, not just the ones you saw.”

“What about all those things you said?” inquired the lavender equine, pulling out a sheaf of notes. “’I am the Traveler, the Wayfarer Grim, the Lord of Solitude…’ all that.” She said.

“Titles I’ve gained over the years that actually have some significance. Traveler, being because I possess the Traveler’s Soul, Wayfarer Grim, because I have accomplished several prophecies involving very spiny dragon gods, and Lord of Solitude… well that one I just like the ring of.” I said with a grin that was bordering on cheeky.

Before Twilight could continue Pinkie interjected. “Where are you going to stay? I need to know so that I can throw you the most super-spectacularific Welcome to Equestria and Thanks for Saving us from those Meany-pants Changeling’s party ever!” she squealed, all in one breath too.

“Why, he’ll be staying here as a royal guest.” Said Celestia in an almost too-sweet tone.

“…”

“Wat?”