Equestria's Thaumaturgist

by Time Squid

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Romance, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 9254

He specialized in weird. This place was high on that list. But not number one. Or even number five.

When a thaumaturgist falls from his world into Equestria, hilarity will ensue. Follow the adventures of this odd - and slightly insane - magical human as he makes friends, enemies, and maybe even falls in love. Or it might just be gas. Hard to tell when it's been over five hundred years since your last date.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-11 03:04:16 UTC

REDONE: Chapter 1: Still Haven't Beat the Record

Chapter 1: Wilhelm Straatvs

Chapter 1: Wilhelm Straatvs, Thaumaturgist

He began to regain consciousness a few minutes later. The impact had been far from the worst he had ever suffered. Hmmm. Mild bruising over about eighty percent of my torso. So that would make the fall roughly five hundred feet. Oh, what's that? Things! Oh, I love things! Except when they're trying to kill me, but even then they're still interesting.

“Hello there!” he spoke in a cheery tone. “You all understand what I'm saying? I can't even count the times I've embarrassed myself by speaking the wrong language before.” there was more silence. He turned his face to side – as dirt isn't edible to him – and looked at the things he had sensed.

“Oh, tiny horses! Wait, no, not horses, ponies! Brightly colored ponies! And unicorns and pegasi! Oh, but you don't look like the pegasi and unicorns I've met before, no siree! They were taller and solid white and their eyes were smaller.” he waited to see how they would respond. They didn't. “So, can you speak or not? I'd really like to know if this conversation is going to be one sided!” this finally snapped them out of it, and the tall white one that he recognized as an alicorn stepped forth, wings outstretched in a regal manner.

“I am Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria. What are you?” she asked.

“Species, gender, or profession? Oh, and my apologies for not bowing but I currently have no feeling in my legs. Should pass soon.” he responded. Celestia blinked in surprise at the response before herself answering.

“Species please.” she said.

“Human. As for the other two, it's male and thaumaturgist.” he said.

“You would have answered all three of those regardless of which I asked wouldn't you?” she said, a wry smile now adorning her face. He grinned at her.

“That I would have Your Highness!” before the developing conversation could continue, a tomboyish voice broke in.

“What the hay is a thauma-whatsit?” inquired the cyan coated, rainbow maned pegasus.

“Thaumaturgist. Or thaumaturge. Or thaumancer. Really depends on who you ask, but they're all the same when you get down to it, though I prefer thaumaturgist.” he replied. “As for what it is? I specialize in the creation an improvement of spells and objects of an arcane nature as well as manipulating the natural aura of an environment, objects, and on occasion living creatures.” only the Princess and a purple unicorn that had been attentively listening seemed to understand what he had just said. Surprisingly he didn't flinch when she bolted up to him, eyes literally sparkling, and began to ask all manner of questions.

“Hold on a moment please. I can feel my legs again.” he interrupted her verbal barrage to stand. Only then did they really take in his appearance. He was wearing a black overcoat that went down to just above his heels, under which he wore a white button up shirt. He had on a pair of gray dress pants and shiny black slip on shoes. The entire ensemble was completed by the presence of a black fedora that had a strip of vibrant blue running around it. His hair was a generic brown, and he stood at equal height with Princess Celestia, but the most striking thing were the eyes. They were hazel with many laugh lines around them, contrasting with his otherwise youthful appearance. Those very eyes made you feel like he was someone that could relate to your problems, while at the same time making you feel like a child speaking to a kindly grandfather.

“Oh, wasn't there a pink one with you?” he asked suddenly. The mares looked about for their pink friend only to realize she was gone.

“Oh no.” groaned the purple unicorn. Before they could begin looking, a pair of bright blue eyes were staring into his own.

“Hi I'm Pinkie Pie! You never told us your name, and if we don't know your name we can't throw you a party!” she squealed at her normal speed. She was perched on top of his fedora. He just smiled before answering the hyperactive equine.

“Hello Pinkie, nice to meet you. And you're right, I never did introduce myself.” the mare hopped off of his hat and he gave a slightly exaggerated bow. “I,” he began. “Am Wilhelm Straatvs.”

Chapter 2: Explanations

Chapter 2: Explanations

“Wilhelm Strots?” asked Pinkie.

“No, Straatvs.” He replied. “S-T-R-A¬-A-T-V-S, but the ‘v’ is silent. My friends just call me Will.”

“That’s a funny name. I like it!” exclaimed the pink mare.

“Yes, it is funny. Though not as funny as some of the names or titles I’ve been given over the years.” He said, rolling his eyes, before pulling a huge book from seemingly nowhere. “I’ve written them all down in this book. But we’ll have time to go over that later. Right about now I’m guessing you all want a thorough explanation as to my presence?”

He received several nods as an answer. He reached into his overcoat and pulled out a bright pink folding chair. When he noticed their surprise, he turned away from unfolding the mobile furniture.

“What? You try finding a place to sit when you do half of what I do.” He turned and took a seat, waiting for the ponies to get comfortable. Once they were arranged comfortably on a blanket Pinkie had provided, Will began.

“Now, would you like the condensed version, or the long explanation that involves my history?” he asked.

“The long version I suppose.” Answered Princess Celestia.

Will nodded, and thought for a bit before starting. “It all began over two thousand years ago, in my world of origin. The planet was called Earth, inhabited by humans, who on that world are the sole sapient beings. Now, you need to understand, humans are at heart, good beings, but by they are a young race, and they strive for understanding and a higher purpose. This leaves them vulnerable to corruption. As such, many of those in power are… less than upstanding citizens.

Crime is ever present, pollution destroys, and humans kill each other over things as petty as belief. But not all of them are like this. There are countless individuals vying for peace and preservation of nature. I was average for the most part, though I’d always had a ‘strange’ outlook on life, as others said. I had just turned twenty years old, and due to my interests, I enjoyed odd things. Which is why I was overjoyed when my uncle sent me an old book about occult sciences. The Thaumium Libre it was called. I learned from it, and shortly after, I began to practice it. I was fascinated when what I learned from the book actually worked.

But it was this that attracted the attention of… less than trustworthy individuals. They attempted to steal the book, believing it to contain knowledge that would allow them to open an eldritch puzzle cube. They thought that the cube would grant them ultimate power and eternal life. In the end, it turns out they were right about the second one. The cube contained a force known as the Traveler’s Soul, a force that would grant live everlasting, and the ability to withstand the raw power of the Great Nexus, the path between realities.

I, rather foolishly, tried to stop them. I managed it by using what I had learned from the Libre, but not without a price. I inadvertently opened the cube myself, absorbed the Traveler’s Soul, and was flung into another universe. The problem with the Soul, is that it does not itself possess the power to enter the Great Nexus, so I was stuck. Ever since I’ve been traveling using other cubes and having adventures all around the multiverse. I learned, made friends, and in the end, returned home. Well, the universe I adopted as home anyway.” He finished.

“Can we see the cube that brought you here?” asked Celestia after a bit of silence.

“Certainly!” he exclaimed, rummaging around inside his overcoat once more. “Oh, dear. That’s not good.”

“What’s wrong?” asked Pinkie.

“This.” He said, holding up a mangled black metal box. “The cube was destroyed.”

“Oh, that does seem like a problem.” Said the alicorn.

“Why?” asked the tomboy of the group.

“Weren’t you listening Rainbow? He said that he uses those, rather tacky, cubes to travel about. Without it he can’t get home.” Explained the white fashionista.

“I’m sorry Mr. Straatvs, but there is nothing in the archives that concerns trans-universal magic.” Said Celestia. Outside she was sad for his predicament, but inside she was giddy as a school filly. Finally, an immortal that isn’t my sister or evil! Oh, there is so much to talk about, so much to do! She thought. Twilight Sparkle did not become so obsessed with learning on her own.

“Oh, it’s not like it’s your fault. And in all honesty, this place seems like a lovely world to live in. The Aura here is so positively charged I could give myself an afro off of the excess if I had a mind to!” he said with a grin before laughing. Laughter came unbidden to the rest as they couldn’t help but imagine the hairless primate before them will a ‘fro.

Suddenly Will stopped laughing and looked to be listening intently. Unnaturally fast he whipped a short knife out of his sleeve and threw it. It flew past the Princess and hit something they couldn’t see, but hey heard a shriek as the force of the throw carried it into a wall. As the shaky ponies began to rise, Will was already by the pinned creature.

“Hmmm, chitin-based exoskeleton, sizeable canines, insectoid wings, eyes are meant to see in dark environments, inherent form manipulation abilities if the energy is anything to judge by.” They walked towards him and gasped when they saw that the creature that had been pinned by his knife was in fact a changeling. It was currently unconscious, due to the combined efforts of the pain of the knife sticking through its shoulder and the force of being slammed into the wall. Lying near the K.O.ed changeling was a wicked looking knife that still had the faint residue of changeling magic on it.

“An assassin… Seems even in such a nice world you have enemies princess… and they are out for blood.”

Chapter 3: Changeling Fail

Chapter 3: Changeling Fail

“H-how did you see it?” asked Twilight. “It was invisible. It was right behind us and none of us suspected.”

“Simple, it was invisible, the knife wasn’t.” the human answered in a grim tone, a stark contrast to his earlier jubilant attitude. “I suggest you all get somewhere a bit safer than a garden.”

“How in the hay did you do that!? It was awesome!” leave it to Rainbow Dash to be unfazed by an attempt on her life, and instead focus on the ‘awesomeness’ of the assassin being beaten in less than five seconds.

“About eighty years of practice.” Will replied. “Now, is there anywhere that is has only one easily watched and barricaded entrance? The walls should preferably be about one foot thick with a minimal amount of dark areas.”

“The closest place in the castle would be the Throne Room.” Answered the white alicorn.

“Then that’s where we’re headed, now let’s move!” the tone of his voice startled them. He sounded like a warrior that had seen countless battles. Then again, with what he had told them, he very well could be. The seven ponies did not wait for further instructions and followed him as he set off.

“How do you know where we’re going?” asked Rarity.

“Because I have to.” Was Will’s short reply. He did not elaborate and none of them saw fit to push it. The guards, upon seeing Will got into a combat stance. The thaumaturgist didn’t even slow his pace or look at them. “Shut it boys, we don’t have the time. An attempt has been made on Princess Celestia’s life, now I expect you to know how to handle this situation.” The guards froze a moment before saluting and running off. The tone the odd ape thing had been using was almost exactly that of the old Captain of the Guard, and when he had given an order, you followed it. End of story.

A short time later they arrived at the great doors of the throne room, a large group of guards had gathered there already, clearly having been informed by the other two in passing as to what was going on.

“Sir!” They called. Not only had his voice reminded them of the old Captain, but the way he carried himself and the look in his eye instantly set them to ‘Obedient Soldier Mode’. The two that had been stationed at the door regularly made to open it, only to find it already open, with Will halfway across the chamber. None of them had even seen him walk by.

“Come on, all of you get in here now.” The guards complied, closing the doors after the Princess and Elements had passed through. “Barricade them, and form a protective circle around the Princess and the girls. Watch every direction, and most importantly, don’t forget to look UP. Too many have fallen because they neglected to look above their heads.” There was no humor in his voice. The guards once again obeyed. The Earth ponies were the outer ring, with unicorns following, and the pegasi acting as a last defense.

Will stood outside them all, watching the doors intently, a black cane that had not been there before was now before him, both hands clasped over its top. They waited, Fluttershy was shivering in fear, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash trying to console her, Twilight was close up against Celestia’s side. Rarity and Applejack were sitting on either side of them all, turning their head to watch for an attack. Then there was a great boom and the doors shuddered. The beams that the guards had procured and braced against the metal doors had already begun to crack. Two more blows and the gates burst inward.

“Not assassin’s… and invasion force.” Will muttered as he beheld what came through the doorway. Tides of changelings, led by a much taller equine insect, female based on the shape of its carapace. The creature also seemed to be a bit battered, as if she had been on the losing end of a fist – or rather hoof – fight. It eyed Will in a rather bored way.

“So, you’re the creature that stopped my assassin.” It was a statement, and held a very unimpressed tone. “Kill him.” Eight of the creatures jumped forth hissing at the human. He responded by gripping his cane in one hand and placing the other around the top, as though it were the hilt of a sword. The changelings jumped at him. There was a flash of silver, and the changelings – all eight of them – fell heavily behind Will. The bottom of the cane remained in his left hand, but in the right, was a silver cane-sword, runes and sigils running its length.

“Eldbane, the Hungering Blade.” Said the human. At his words, the bodies of the eight changelings fell to dust. The runes glowed with a fell light. “A very dangerous weapon to use, as it can just as easily drain the life essence of its wielder, or even subjugate a weak mind to its will.” He then sheathed the blade, and returned the cane to the folds of his strange jacket.

The queen was pissed. “You! Who do you think you are to so much as harm my changelings!? I am Queen Chrysalis and you will pay dearl-!” she raged.

“SILENCE.” The booming command instantly brought stillness to the room. “You want to know who I am?” he asked in a deathly quiet tone. “I am the Traveler, the Wayfarer Grim, the Lord of Solitude, I am Wilhelm Straatvs, and I command you now, GET THEE HENCE FROM THIS PLACE EVER MORE!!! The last words, no the last Command, was delivered with the voice of warrior god, echoing in the space of the throne room, and with a roar like a thunderhead, a great flash erupted around the changelings, drowning out their shouts. When the spots cleared the changelings were just… gone. The guards, Princess, and Elements were about to begin celebrating, until Will collapsed onto his face.

“Will!” they all screamed as one and crowded around him, clearly worried.

“It feels like someone is jumping rope with my spine… and they didn’t even bother to get off of my back to do it.” Was the feeble reply. And though it was weak, his voice was as it had been in the gardens. They all sighed in relief, Celestia noticeably more than the others. “Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I need to pass out.” And he proceeded to do exactly as he had said, as, for the second time that day; he was drawn into a vortex of color and spinning.  Better known as his mind.

Chapter 5: Indomitable Will

“So, which room?” Will asked cheerily, completely ignoring the dumbfounded Twilight.

“Two doors down from here.” Celestia replied just as cheerily, also ignoring Twilight.

“Hmm?” Will pretended to just notice the slack-jawed unicorn. “Oh, dear Celestia, it seems we’ve broken your student!” he said in mock surprise.

“Oh dear me, it seems you’re right!” replied the solar alicorn. The other mares in the room were quietly snickering to themselves.

“Okay you two. I believe that young Twilight’s had enough of your game.” Luna interrupted, still smirking a bit. “Never have I seen somepony that could figure out when my sister was playing one of her mind games, and yet here you are instigating one.” Luna shook her head in amazement.  “You truly are something young Wilhelm.”

“Young?” he said, cocking an eyebrow. “Child I’m ten thousand three hundred and ninety six years old.”

“But you said that you became immortal two thousand years ago?” Twilight said, finally snapping out of her stupor.

“Yes, but you didn’t account for time travel.” He responded, acting like time travel was an everyday occurrence – though it may be when you’re acquainted with a certain two-hearted alien with a physics defying blue box.

He paid attention to the expression on her face before responding. “I take it you’re no stranger to time travel, miss Sparkle?”

“Um, yes. There was this thing where I was visited by my future self and kinda… got a little crazy.” She said, blushing at the memory.

“A little?” Applejack deadpanned, also remembering the time her purple friend had become manic trying to prevent a non-existent disaster. Before the conversation could continue however, a royal guard burst into the Princess’ chambers, panting.

“Your highness, there is a group of unicorns and pegasi robbing a bank and the unicorns are augmenting their magic using forbidden artifacts! There are seven confirmed hostages in the building.” he said as soon as he had caught his breath. Celestia and Luna were already on their way out the door, the six mares and the guard following close after. What none of them were expecting was for Will to already be halfway down the hall, striding quickly, a grim air about him.

Celestia hurried to catch up. “Will, where are you going?” she asked.

“There are criminals threatening the lives of innocents. I’m doing what I always have; Stopping them.” He replied in the same short tone as during the second changeling attack earlier.

“You don’t have to. My sister and I usually handle –“ The solar alicorn began.

“Exactly. The perpetrators most likely know this, and given the fact they are using forbidden objects to amplify their power this is more likely than not, a trap. Set for you and your sister.” He said. Celestia stopped for a moment to ponder. Her conclusion was that he was right.

“Guard.” Will said. Once again unable to think of him as anything but a commanding officer, the guard saluted.

“Yes, sir? What do you need, sir?” he said.

“I need intel. What are the numbers of the captors?” Will asked.

“Four unicorns, two pegasi, and two diamond dogs, sir!” the guard barked. Will just nodded, and none of them saw fit to speak until they arrived at the bank itself fifteen minutes later.

An interesting point of Equestrian banks: they were open aired with the exception of the vaults. Which meant that the criminals and the hostages – all hog tied – were in the open. However, the unicorns had several rather nasty spells ready in case the guards made a move. Will simply strode past the line of guards.

“Erect shield, now!” he barked. The guards quickly complied. All but a certain acting captain of the guard; and by acting captain, it is meant that Dark Spectrum was actually the captain of the Night Guard, and she was damn good at it too.

“Hey! What’re you all-“ she cut off as she felt a metal-clad hoof on her shoulder. Looking over she was met by the sight of Princess Luna, accompanied by her sister and the Elements of Harmony. Captain Spectrum understood the unspoken order and turned to watch.

“So, you’re the idiots that have disrupted the peace.” It was a statement. “I am thoroughly unimpressed.” Will said. This shocked the eight mares that had accompanied him, as well as the guards that had been present during the attack. He had killed changelings, but he hadn’t insulted them.

“Oh, so the Princess’ pet monkey thing thinks it’s a big shot, eh? Teach the freak a lesson boys!” said the assumed leader, a sickly green unicorn that spoke in a stereotypical New Jersey gangster voice. A red unicorn responded by leveling his horn at Will, the jagged ring around it sparking with dark magic, before a green and black spell containing a depiction of a pony skull inside it fired. The watchers expected Will to dodge, but instead, he lifted his right hand and caught the spell.

“Is that really the best you’ve got?” he asked mockingly. “I’ve fought imps with stronger magic.” He crushed the spell in his fist, dispelling it into wisps of power. Before they could come up with a rebuttal however, he was already among them, his hat, jacket, and cane – which they hadn’t noticed – before, falling to the ground. Then they noticed that his undershirt was in fact a type of hauberk, woven from a strange silvery metal.

Five seconds was all it took for him to bring down one of the diamond dogs, and one of the three unicorns, the one that had not yet done anything. The two pegasi managed to engage him before he could continue. Their put down was just as brutal. The first was kicked clean through a pillar, a bit of blood coming out of his mouth as he was sent hurdling towards it. The other, Will jumped over and elbowed into the ground with such force that a Mach ring appeared on impact. He approached the remaining two unicorns and quickly brought their head together three times, before dropping them, unconscious like the rest.

“You’re quite strong.” Interrupted a voice. They all looked to see the remaining diamond dog, whose grammar was surprisingly good compared to others of his species. “Strong enough to do this.” He said with an evil grin, stamping his paw on a tile. A previously hidden magic circle appeared, with Will in the dead center.

“Chains of Domination.” The dog explained. “A forbidden dark magic capable of enthralling the most powerful of beings. We had planned to use it on one of the Princesses, but you’ll do.” As he spoke, black chains rose from the seal, wrapping around Will’s limbs. They began to drag him down. The dog chuckled. “It’s no use struggling, the chains are unbreakable.”

But Will kept struggling, and the chains began to give. They were all amazed at this. It had never happened that a being could defy the fundamental nature of a spell.

With one last heave, the chains broke, and Will was encased in light. The light didn’t blind them however, and they could clearly see. Will had cast aside the Veil that hid his true existence from the mortal world. Normally only spirit beings could see him in truth. And a sight to behold it was.

Twelve feet tall, hair that flowed like Celestia’s mane, but red as fire, six wings sprouted from his back, the three on the right, blacker than a starless night, the three on the left, brighter than Celestia’s own sun. A great blade that glowed with fury old as mountains was in his hand. He was clad in silver plate armor and his face was grim and kingly. It was this form that had met the Dark Gods in the Old Days of creation in battle, and this form they feared, its name was doom to them. For like this, he was no longer Wilhelm Straatvs, but Amoth’Sul, the Lord of Deep Fire. Before the power of the unveiled Spirit Lord the spell broke. He was only in that form for an instant, but it was enough. The dog was paralyzed by fear. As Will returned, he moved, and struck the dog in the throat. It was dead before it hit the ground.

The ponies were about to start celebrating, before Will fell backward, blood leaking from the corner of his mouth. Unleashing that power and fighting Chains of Domination had taken their toll. He was in need of a hospital. Now.

Chapter 6: Coronation

Chapter 6: Coronation

Beep…

Beep…

Beep…

“Mhm… What…?” Will muttered as he finally began to come to. He heard a gasp to his right and tried to look, only to stop at the sudden pain – which was significantly greater than anything he’d felt in well over a thousand years.

“Will!” several voices shouted.

“What happened? I haven’t felt this bad since I beat the High King of the dwarves in a drinking contest.” He said in a tone just above a dry whisper, finally managing to turn his head to the right without a spasm of unfamiliar pain. The girls and Celestia were there, looking concerned. Celestia stepped forward.

“We brought you here as quickly as we could after you collapsed.” She said.

“Collapsed… oh right. Chains of Domination.” He said, his face turning grim for a moment. “The question I want answered is: How did they know of that magic? It’s forbidden everywhere that I’ve encountered it or it’s like.” Celestia shrugged before replying.

“I assure you that it is also forbidden here. You need not worry; they acquired the spell from a scroll stolen from the Griffin Kingdoms. It was enchanted so that it could not be copied and only one individual could have knowledge of the spell at a time. That one being the Diamond Dog you… dispatched.” She said the last part with a grimace, obviously unsettled by the dog’s death.

“Sorry about that, kind of lost control at that point. It took all of my strength to turn that old power against the seal. I could have broken the spell without using up my old magic, but the result would have been… well let’s just say you would have needed a new mountain.” He told them, smirking a bit at the end. Celestia’s mouth opened in a little ‘o’ shape as his words were registered.

“Now, on to other things. What’s the damage?” he asked, switching back to his normal cheerful tone. Twilight stepped forward this time.

“Most of your internal organs are completely destroyed and several bones are broken. It’s a miracle that you’re alive!” she said, her voice devolving into a shout at the end. Will gave a wheezing laugh that became a cough.

“I told you about my regeneration right?” they nodded. “Well I guess I never went into how powerful it is. I can heal from almost anything; it just takes a very long time. Though with me being in a hospital I should only be like this for a few months instead of a year or two.” He said, smiling at them like it was a normal conversation.

“So you can like, survive anything? Cool.” Said Rainbow Dash, flapping over to the stretcher that somehow was big enough for Will. (It was actually alicorn-size)

“No. Like I said before, it just takes more to kill me. Which means I can take a LOT of punishment, but given enough damage I will die. Also: decapitation is pretty much instant death for me. Not much I can do without a head, right? If I were to be hit by a really, really big hammer, and my organs turned into mush, I couldn’t regenerate.” He explained. Rainbow didn’t comment, and instead returned to her place next to Fluttershy, who had passed out when Will killed the Diamond Dog and was currently sprawled over Applejack’s back.

“We’re sorry Will, Princess, but we have to get going. We’ll miss the train to Ponyville if we don’t go. Please say bye to Luna for us!” Twilight said once she saw the clock hanging on the wall. She somehow managed to grab all of her friends with her hooves and rush out the door.

“Well I suppose that I should be going as well. Luna is handling the court in my place right now.” Celestia told him, regret showing through on her face as she turned.

“Celestia,” Will’s voice stopped her. “You can come and talk to me whenever you like. It’s not like I’m going anywhere after all. And it’ll be nice to have someone to bore with my stories.” He joked. Celestia nodded, though when she left, a grin was plastered on her face for a reason she could not fathom.

Three Months Later… (Event’s in this time period will be filler to be created later)

Celestia and Luna stood on the Royal Balcony, overlooking a crowd of ponies below. They were dressed in newly made regalia for this momentous occasion, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash stood with them, and Will was leaning on his cane to the side, smiling softly. Celestia moved forward and spoke as the crowd grew silent.

“We are gathered here today in celebration of a momentous occasion. My most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, has done many extraordinary things since she's lived in Ponyville. She even helped reunite me with my sister, Princess Luna. But today, Twilight Sparkle did something extraordinary. She created new magic, proving without a doubt that she is ready to be crowned Equestria's newest princess. Fillies and gentlecolts, may I present for the very first time, Princess Twilight Sparkle!” the crowd burst into renewed applause (stamping their hooves) as the newest alicorn stepped forward. “Say something, Princess.” Celestia prompted with a smile.

“Oh. Um...” Twilight cleared her throat. “A little while ago, my teacher and mentor Princess Celestia sent me to live in Ponyville. She sent me to study friendship, which is something I didn't really care much about. But now, on a day like today, I can honestly say I wouldn't be standing here if it weren't for the friendships I've made with all of you. Each one of you taught me something about friendship, and for that, I will always be grateful. Today, I consider myself the luckiest pony in Equestria. Thank you, friends. Thank you, everypony!” as she concluded the crowd applauded again. They ceased however when Celestia raised her hoof for silence.

“Before we conclude this ceremony, we have a guest that would like to say something.” She announced. Will stepped forward, still leaning on his cane.

“Twilight Sparkle, when we met three months ago I felt a greatness in you, though even I did not perceive you would become this. But before I get to rambling, go with my blessing.” As he said this he pulled a shining light seemingly out of his pocket. It looked like a star in his hand. “I give you this, the last remnant of my old power, the power of Amoth’Sul, the Lord of the Deep Fire. It shall aid you in your greatest need.” As he finished the light floated from his hand and disappeared into Twilight’s horn. Will limped away as Twilight shared a touching moment with her friends and sibling, whom Will had yet to meet surprisingly.

Will leaned against one of the marble pillars while the ponies were chatting. He slid down it to the floor. He looked at them and smiled, before his heavy eyelids decided to fall, dragging him into a sleep filled with dreams of a certain white alicorn.

Chapter 7: Nightmares of Fire

Chapter 7: Nightmares of Fire

Four alicorns, two pegasi, two earth ponies, and two unicorns stood around an unconscious Will. He was lashed to the stretcher to try and control his thrashing. His face was contorted, seemingly in pain. At first he had been fine, having slipped into sleep just after his gift to Twilight, but when Celestia had gone to wake him to introduce Cadence and Shining Armor; they had found him flailing wildly.

Luna had already attempted to enter and see what kind of nightmare was plaguing him, but the tumult of his mind had – quite painfully – forced her out. Which leads to how they found themselves now. Luna and Celestia combining their power to try and delve through the barrier, with Cadence ready to provide help if necessary. Without a word being spoken, the two cosmic rulers’ horns flared to life, and together they delved into the storm that was Will’s unconscious mind.

What met them was like a massive tornado of shadows and broken images. Celestia began to transfer power to her sister – herself lacking any control of the thought-plane – and Luna shaped the power into what was effectively a massive hollow spear. She thrust it through the wall and the alicorns quickly passed through, before the mental barrier ripped the spell apart. They looked around, finding themselves in an infinite black void. The sisters looked at each other in confusion.

‘Luna, is it supposed to be like this?’ Celestia thought at her sister.

‘No, at least I don’t think it should be.’ Luna answered, doubt slipping into her thought voice.

‘Well, what do we-‘ Celestia cut off as Luna, slack-jawed, turned her head forward. What met their eyes was an arcane seal, but on a scale so massive they would not have been able to see it entirely if it had been physical. Soon after they noticed a huge crack along the seal, what looked to be fire was leaking out of it. They shifted up to the crack for a closer look.

‘Sister, I think this seal is a memory block. It’s quite similar to the ones I’ve seen before.’ Luna thought.

‘A memory block…’ Celestia whispered. She reached toward the crack.

‘Sister, wait!’ Luna’s warning came a moment too later as Celestia’s hoof touched the crack, and suddenly she was on what seemed to be a field. Everything was burning; the earth was cracked and blackened by the flames. The worst part, the detail that made Celestia retch, was the bodies. Thousands upon thousands of corpses, all laid out. Many shapes, most non-human, were blackened and twisted, but others were untouched, most seemed humanoid, but not all. Each one was face up, eyes blank and staring, hands or other appendages clasped over their chests.

Celestia’s attention was turned forward as she heard what seemed to be sobbing. There was a form bent over on its knees in front of one of the untouched corpses. The thing was covered in burns, patches of skin cracked and charred like the ground, firelight shining through. It work tattered clothing that was half ashes, and its hair was similar, at least what little hadn’t been burned off. Celestia drew closer and the thing threw back its head, letting loose a cry that was part anguish, part roar, and part the crack and hiss of fire. The roar however didn’t frighten Celestia, but what she saw did.

For when he threw back his head, she saw the face of Will, with eyes of fire.

For an instant she was in her own body again, before a burst of power erupted from Will’s now still body, engulfing all of them.

They were in the black space again, but this time all of them were there. And where the seal had been, a much smaller version now lay on the ‘ground’, Will bent over in the middle of it, his hands pressed against each other like when a child catches a bug. Wisps of fire and ash flowed from around them, and between his fingers. They could hear him muttering.

‘Not yet. Not ready to face it yet. Can’t face it yet, can’t stop the fire yet.’ And so he went on for a time. None of them did anything but watch, and as the last of the fire and ash flowed between his hands, they were sent back into their bodies.

“I-I think we should go.” Shining Armor said, after they all collected themselves again. Cadence and the girls nodded and followed without a word, stunned by what they had seen for no reason they could discern. They felt as though it were part of something larger and more terrible than they could understand. A glimpse of something massive. Even Pinkie was strangely silent. Soon only Celestia and Luna remained, both looking at the now still Will.

“Sister, I’m sorry. As soon as you touched the break I was forced back. I was only in my body again before we were all sucked in. What… what did you see?” Luna said. Celestia didn’t look at her as she answered.

“I don’t know Luna. But one thing I do know is that I have to talk to him.” Celestia answered, nodding toward Will. Luna was about to say something, but she decided against it, nodded at her sister, and left. Celestia settled down next to the stretcher and began the long wait.

Will was within his own mind. Just floating in the dark place.

“The fissure was bigger than I had thought. I knew I shouldn’t have used that power so recklessly. I damaged the block. It almost got out.” He was speaking to himself, though the way he sounded, one could assume he was talking to another.

“I know I can’t keep It locked away forever… but I’m not ready to face It. Not yet. And I hope that when the time comes that I have to face It, I’ll be ready. And that the Fire won’t spread like the last time.” With that, he fell into a normal dreamless slumber.

Chapter 8: Things Escalate Quickly

Chapter 8: Things Escalate Quickly

“Will~” came a soft voice. “Will. WILL!” so much for it being soft.

“Hrm? Wha-?” Said the sleepy human, finally responding. He opened his eyes, and was met with the sight of a two large magenta ones staring back.

“You’re finally awake.” Said Celestia, backing away.

“Yes, I suppose I am. How long was I out?” asked Will. Celestia looked at the ground, shamefaced.

“We, ah, don’t actually know. We found you the day after Twilight’s coronation, today actually, thrashing in your sleep.” She looked guiltier with each word. Will raised an eyebrow and smiled good-naturedly.

“And why is the floor suddenly so interesting?” He asked, lifting her face to look at him. “It’s not like it’s your fault. I’ve gone days without being noticed on far less important occasions.” He grinned at her. “Once I was left in my room for a week because of a national dance off.”

“Yes, you told me about that.” The alicorn answered, starting to smile back at the memory of Will’s story.

“And you needn’t worry about the thrashing, that happens to me once every year or so.” He said, quickly getting up and walking past her.

“Wait, you should-“ She began.

“Stay in bed?” He smiled at her. “I’m fine. This old meat sack that is me finally finished fixing itself.” Will joked at her. Celestia gave a genuine smile at that. It was quickly replaced by a frown as she remembered what she wanted to talk to him about.

“Will, I… I saw your dream.” She said. He instantly stiffened, having been in the act of putting on his coat.

“What dream?” He said, still stiff-backed, and continued putting on his coat.

“Once we found you, Luna tried to see what was wrong by entering your dreams, then she found that barrier and we guessed that the dream was the problem.” She said. Will just stood there.

“There, there were bodies… e-everywhere.” Celestia said, holding a hoof to her mouth in an attempt to quell the bile rising in her throat. “Some of them were burned, others weren’t, and-and you were there and you were burned, then y-your eyes.” She was crying and stuttering at that point. She felt something warm wrap around her. She saw will hugging her through her tears.

“W-what was that Will?” she asked.

“Part memory, part nightmare.” He answered. “Something that I can’t face yet, for many reasons. It is something it would be better for you to forget.” He said, still hugging her. She nodded against his chest.

“I-I’ll try.”

“That’s all I can ask.”

They finally ended the hug once Celestia had calmed down. “Come now!” Said Will. “You have a new member of the Equestrian Royalty to welcome!” He said, grinning at her. She smiled back.

“Then let’s go. We can introduce you to Shining Armor and Cadence!” Said Celestia, brightening again. She hadn’t forgotten, obviously, but in her long life she had learned how to ignore things.

“Oh, yes you told me about them. The newlywed couple that now runs an entire empire. Though, I’ve been wondering how it’s an empire without any outside territory.” Will held a hand to his chin in thought.

“I honestly don’t know. There are no records of it ever having outside territory.” Celestia answered.

“Meh.” They said at the same time. They looked at each other in surprise and then laughed, and that was how they entered the room where everypony else was already partying (This being the real party, and the formal event having been the day before). “Will!” Almost everypony, and dragon, in the room shouted upon seeing the previously bedridden human just walk right into the room like it was any other day.

“Everyone I know!” Will yelled back, spreading his arms and for a hug. The six mares, Luna, and Spike complied. Even Rainbow Dash wrapped an arm around his neck. Cadence and Shining Armor just shared a confused look.

“You still have to tell me about the different kinds of dragons you’ve met, like you promised.” Said Spike after the hug, referring to the first time the two had met two months ago.

“Of course.” Will said with a grin.

“Oh, Will.” Said Luna. “Ever since Shining Armor here,” She pulled the stallion and his wife forward. “Had to leave his position as Captain of the Guard we’ve been looking for a replacement. The guards have chosen you and we would like to know if you’ll accept!” She ended with a grin. It wasn’t that much of a surprise, considering his first day, and the fact that many of the guard had come to talk to him during his three months hospitalized.

“Hmm… I suppose it couldn’t hurt… me.” He answered with a slightly more wicked grin than usual.

“EXCELLENT!” Luna slipped into the Royal Canterlot Voice. She covered her mouth and blushed once she realized what she had done. Everypony, dragon, and human just smiled. “Ehem. When can you start?” She asked.

“Where are the recruits right now?” Will asked her.

“In the yard, training.” The lunar diarch answered.

“Then I can start right now!” He said. Before they could protest he was out the door.

“Wait, do you know where the yard is!?” Shining Armor called, finally getting a word in.

“Nope!” Will called back cheerfully.

“Then how are you going to get there?” He said, everypony trotting to keep up with the strides of the human.

“Because I need to!” He answered. Before any of them could say more, they were at the yard.

“Sister.” Luna said.

“Yes Luna?” asked Celestia.

“Did we move the training yard closer?”

“No we didn’t.”

“Then I suspect Will of having reality warping powers.” The younger sister said. “Do you believe so or not?”

“…Yes.” Celestia said.

“Yes to which?”

“...Yes.” she repeated.

Before either could say more, they were interrupted by the sound of Will speaking loudly.

“All ponies!” He called. The recruits stopped what they were doing and looked at him. “So, I heard that you wanted me to be the new Captain, is that right?” He yelled, walking along the line of recruits.

“Yes Sir!” They chorused at him.

“Okay! Then let’s get to the training! One rule for this: Do not question the song!” he yelled. Before anypony could do just that a song began to play.

Youtube Video

By the end they all looked like they could take on a group of pissed off griffins and come out on top. Everypony that had been watching just stood with slack jaws.

“D-did you just…?” Twilight tried to ask.

“Train fifty guard recruits completely using one song? Yes, yes I did.” He nodded as he spoke.

“Well, that was rather quick to escalate.” Luna said.

Chapter 9: Discord, Pumpernickel, and a Kitten

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Interlude: One of Will's Stories

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Chapter 10: Part A, Damn You Procrastination!

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Not a chapter, but something interesting

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Prologue: Geronimo! (Redone)

Prologue: Geronimo!

Prologue: Geronimo!

Spinning. Lot's and lots of spinning. And bright colors. But mostly spinning. Time and space bending and rippling around him. He began to wonder if this was all that there was. Would it send him somewhere? Or was this it? Maybe it would kill him. That would be a feat worth boasting of. That is, if eldricht puzzle boxes could boast. And then his thoughts turned to said box. It had been the strangest one he had seen yet. Mostly because instead of ancient runes and symbols adorning it's sides, it had the image of two mythical creatures circling each other, forming an ouroboros-like pattern. They had been alicorns, winged unicorns. He had found depictions of them on things before, but never eldricht work. Before he could continue pondering the box, one light grew brighter than the rest and he felt the distinct sensation of falling. So, he did the one thing that came to mind:

“Geronimo!”

Twilight Sparkle was walking beside her mentor, Princess Celestia, in the Canterlot Statue Gardens. Just the day before an attempted take over of Equestria had occurred and then been stopped by her brother and old foalsitter, who later that day had been married. Neither the princess nor her friends had believed her when she had accused Cadence – who was actually the Changeling Queen disguised as her old foalsitter – of being evil. And now the princess was apologizing.

“I truly am sorry Twilight. We all should have listened to you.” said the alicorn, the look of regret and guilt still etched onto her face even after so many assurances that it was all right.

“Princess, like I said, it's fine. You all had no reason to believe me. Besides, everything turned out all right in the end, right?” said the purple mare. The princess nodded.

“Well yes, but the fact that you are my Most Faithful Student should have been reason enough to at least hear you out.” said the Royal. Before Twilight could reply, the sound of several ponies approaching caught their attention. They looked to see the other five Elements of Harmony, Twilight's friends, approaching.

“Howdy sugarcube.” said Applejack.

“Hello darling.” came Rarity's greeting.

“Hiya Twilight!” Pinkie's over energetic hello.

“What's up?” That was Rainbow Dash.

“Hello Twilight.” came the almost inaudible greeting of Fluttershy.

“Hi girls.” said Twilight, smiling at them.

“Hello My Little Ponies.” said the princess, also smiling her usual soft smile.

“We came ta' apologize 'bout not believing ya.” said Applejack. The others nodded.

“Girls it's fine, I've already told you-” Twilight began. Pinkie, however cut her off, placing her hoof on Twilight's head, somehow balancing in the air on it, and pointing towards the sky with her other one.

“Hey what's that!?” she said. Or rather, yelled as is the Pinkie way. They all turned their faces to the sky, and saw what looked like a star, only it was steadily growing brighter. And it was the middle of the day. Suddenly, something shot out of the star, which quickly disappeared, leaving only the falling object. Just before impact they heard a voice, and it said one word, a word with many meanings.

“Geronimo!”

Chapter 4: Arrangements

Chapter 4: Arrangements Part 1

Will began to stir. Okay, I’m slung over something, it’s moving, it’s soft, and it’s warm. What could it be? Oh, right, maybe I should open my eyes. And so he did just that. What met his gaze was a wall of white, and some wavy golden-yellow lines near the edge of his vision. … I am being carried on the back of a sun-moving, royal, alicorn goddess. What would be an appropriate response…?

“I am conscious.” I stated. The hushed conversations that had been going on stopped suddenly.

“Will!” Twilight said, sounding a little nervous. “How are you? Can you walk? I think you should walk.” She said quickly.

“Yeah I can probably walk by now. Princess, could you let me down?” I asked, confident that by now I should be fine. I was conscious after all.

“Hmmm, no.” answered the alicorn in what I swore to be a playful tone.

“Um, I- I think that you should get down.” Said Twilight, obviously uncomfortable with the situation for some reason.

“You heard the alicorn, Twilight. It’s best not to argue with sun goddesses. I can speak from experience.” I told her, ignoring the snickering from the others.

“Experience?” Celestia questioned.

“I may or may not be friends slash enemies with a large number of gods and/or titans and/or spirit beings.” I said slowly, waiting for their reactions.

“And?” Celestia asked.

“Well, some of them I covered for, did a quest for, we just got along, I punched them in the face-“

“You did what!?” Twilight shrieked, clearly horrified by the idea of me bodily assaulting, and then becoming friends with, several beings of a deific nature.

“I only punched three… I think. Anyway, if I may ask where are we going?” I said, steering away from that topic.

“To my personal chambers, Luna is waiting there for us.” Replied Celestia in a more regal tone than the last two times she spoke.

“Luna… let me guess, she’s either black or dark blue, controls the moon, and is your… younger… sister?” I said.

“How did you figure that out, egghead?” asked Rainbow Dash, finally speaking for the first time since I woke up.

“Her name. Luna means ‘moon’ in an ancient language on Earth. Also, I expect her to be at least a partial opposite of Celestia here.” I said.

“…you haven’t moved since you woke up. Are you okay?” asked Fluttershy.

“Oh, yes I’m fine. Celestia here is just very soft.” I said. I swear that I could literally hear her blushing.

“We’re here.” The Solar Alicorn stated before another conversation could begin. The sound of a wooden door opening met my ears. And yes I could tell by the sound it was wood. Two thousand years can leave one ample opportunity to get bored and find useless things to occupy time.

“Sister!” a new voice rang out. “Are thou okay? Were thou harmed? …what is that creature upon thy royal back?”

I raised my hand in an amiable manner. “Hello Luna, I’m Wilhelm, but you can call me Will.”

“Wouldst thou care to explain why thou art upon our sister’s backside?” she queried.

“Well it started with me being knocked out, then she refused to let me down. Plus your sister is very soft.” To punctuate I poked Celestia in the side, causing her to twitch.

“Indeed, our sister is quite soft.” Said Luna, also poking Celestia, which elicited another twitch.

“…” I poked her again, and this time the twitch was accompanied by a snort.

“…” Luna again.

“…” me.

“…” at this one Celestia let out a small laugh, which was all Luna and I needed. We began to tickle Celestia, Luna jumping around, while I just lay there, poking and tickling her from her back. It was all good fun until Celestia bucked, sending me into the ceiling and back down to meet the tile floor. There was a loud crack as marble met skull. The room was deathly silent until I sat up and they saw what had made the noise.

“Oh no! Are you okay? Let Nurse Fluttershy have a look at you.” Said Fluttershy, speaking in a normal tone for the first time.

“No need, I’ve taken far harder hits than that. Sorry about the floor.” I said, sheepish grin directed at Celestia. “Just let me fix that for you.” She was about to protest when I placed a single finger on the cracked tiles and they began to glow bright green, the rough edges merging together smoothly.

“That is highly advanced magic Will. Where didst thou learn it? And how can thou perform magic without a horn?” asked Luna.

“I’m the Thaumaturgist, I know a lot of things.”

“That did not answer our other question.” She deadpanned, clearly not finding my explanation satisfactory.

“Second verse same as the first.” I said cheerfully.

“While on the topic of advanced magic, I would like to ask what you did to the changelings.” Twilight interjected.

I blushed a bit here. “Yeah, that was a banishment invocation. On the changelings it was easy; they have very little individuality and as such almost no resistance to having their Presence pushed away by mine. Chrysalis was another matter, she I had to fight a bit. And I’ve never done that on such a large scale either. You probably didn’t notice, but I banished all of the changelings in the city, not just the ones you saw.”

“What about all those things you said?” inquired the lavender equine, pulling out a sheaf of notes. “’I am the Traveler, the Wayfarer Grim, the Lord of Solitude…’ all that.” She said.

“Titles I’ve gained over the years that actually have some significance. Traveler, being because I possess the Traveler’s Soul, Wayfarer Grim, because I have accomplished several prophecies involving very spiny dragon gods, and Lord of Solitude… well that one I just like the ring of.” I said with a grin that was bordering on cheeky.

Before Twilight could continue Pinkie interjected. “Where are you going to stay? I need to know so that I can throw you the most super-spectacularific Welcome to Equestria and Thanks for Saving us from those Meany-pants Changeling’s party ever!” she squealed, all in one breath too.

“Why, he’ll be staying here as a royal guest.” Said Celestia in an almost too-sweet tone.

“…”

“Wat?”