One Bad Apple?
“You're staying with your cousins this week, don't cause them any trouble. Got that?”
That's all Auntie Paula said when she tossed me my bag, gave me my tickets and sent me on my way. She didn't even say good bye, but that's her way. Always direct.
As I looked out the train window I could barely make out the outline of Manehattan. I was glad to be leaving, if only for a little while. I'll be away from the bullies. And my mother. They're one and the same really. One hurts me while I'm at school and the other at home. Their only real difference is their age. And the bullies at school don't drink. Well at least, most don't...
But I guess I deserve it, it's not like I'm special or anything. If I was I would have my cutie mark already, instead of this pale brown flank. I just wish my tail was longer, so I could hide more of it. Maybe if cousin Applebloom didn't see my blank flank she'd like me. I would really like that. I'd give anything to fit in. To not be an outcast.
That's what my mom always calls me. An outcast. A loser. A disappointment. A bad seed. It's not her fault though, ever since daddy left on his business trip she's been drinking a lot. He's been gone 3 years now. Mom never did say where he went, the day he left she just cried and cried. I cried too, but I didn't know he'd be gone this long, mom said it was just a business trip and he'd be back soon, but I'm starting to doubt if he will ever come back.
Mom has two work two jobs now just to feed herself, let alone me. But she always has more then enough money for that smelly cider she always drinks and that makes her happy, so I guess that should make me happy. But she's always so mean when she drinks it. I don't understand why she says it makes her happy, she talks really wierd and sometimes she'd hit me. I know its not her fault though. It's that drink. And how tough she has it. I understand.
That's why I'm staying at Auntie Paula's house. She never drinks which is nice, but she's very strict. She never gives me much time to play with my toys or friends...well if I had any. Most kids my age like bullying me more then being my friends. I don't blame them though. They all have their cutie marks, they're all special. I'm just boring.
But I do have a toy! Ooh, I hope Auntie Paula packed him!
...Oh. She must have forgot. She's super busy all the time, it's okay.
I'll still tell you about him though, he's the best toy ever! His name is Jonagold, but I call him Johnny. He was my Grammy Seed's when she was a little filly. He's a pony doll she knitted all by herself and after she finished it, she got her cutie mark! That's what I like about Johnny so much, he makes me feel special, important, like maybe one day he'll help me find my cutie mark. I spend all day dressing him with his overalls and cowpony hat. Johnny's a little old and smells a little weird, but I love him. I wouldn't trade him for anything. I wish he could be here on the train with me. He always protects me when I'm alone.
I should check the rest of my bag to see what Auntie Paula packed me. Okay, an apple if I get hungry, my toothbrush and toothpaste, and a book. That was nice of her. I don't read too much, but it's okay, I'm sure if I get bored I'll read it. What's it on? The history of Ponyville? That sounds...fun I guess. I'm not complaining though.
That's where I'm going, Ponyville. Auntie Paula says it's a little town out of the way of anything. No skyscrapers or paved streets like in Manehattan. I bet Johnny would have loved it, he always likes getting dirty and playing out in the open. Johnny hated how cramped the city was, so we'd always be playing in the park a couple blocks down. There were no big buildings looking down at us, only trees letting in the warm sunlight. Me and Johnny would go on these amazing adventures, a lot of times getting us really messy. I didnt mind though, it was way too much fun!
Mom used to yell at us a lot when we'd come from the park all dirty, but it didn't matter, Me and Johnny were happy. And even if she hit me, Johnny would be there to comfort me. He'd say it's not that she doesn't love me, it's just that drink of hers. He'd always make me feel better, even when the bullies would pick on me. He believes in me and I believe in him, who believes in me. That's why I know one day we will find my cutie mark!
Well, that is if I have one to be found. I'm not really good at anything. Unless getting picked on is a talent, cause I'd be the world champ. Now that I think about it, what would a cutie mark like that even look like?
That's probably not a real talent, I would have my cutie mark already if that was the case. With my mom yelling at me and beating me up at home. And the bullies doing the same at school. Being bullied is a 24 hour job now. Both of them have even found a way into my dreams, or nightmares really. Always calling me a blank flank, showing off their cool talents, calling me “Bland Seed”.
I hate that nickname the most. I hate it because it's so true. Everyone at school knows it and that's why they all of them call me that. Barely anyone calls me by my real name. Or at least what I like to be called. The bullies call me “Bland Seed”. My Auntie Paula only uses my birth name, “Barbara”. And my mom calls me that or her favorite, “Bad Seed”. I don't know which one I hate more.
Johnny calls me Babs and that's my favorite. It's nice and friendly, it makes me feel like not such a bad pony. That's what Johnny does best. He makes me feel special, strong. He makes me feel like I belong.
I just wish he could be with me right now. I don't know anypony in Ponyville and the train's almost there! I could use anypony to comfort me. Anypony to help me feel better. Anypony to make me feel strong. Anypony who could just help me fit in, as if I mattered. Anypony...
