Confessions of a changeling.

I walked up to her door and paused. Already, the nagging little voice was echoing faintly in my mind.
"What are you doing, man?! Are you crazy? This is stupid! She'll never want to see you again! She'll probably scream and try to squash you like the bug you are!" And even though the little voice made a convincing argument, I knew I had to do it. I had to. There was no doubt now. If I didn't do it, I'd go mad. I was probably mad now, that's how long it's been. But still...

I shook my head in an attempt to clear the doubt from my mind. Now was not the time for panic. If I came this far, I'd be damned if I just turned back now. So I gathered up my courage again and knocked on her door.

The demure pegasus of my forbidden affections answered the door with that shy little face. As soon as she saw it was me, she immediately brightened up, face beaming like a light through the darkness.
"Oh. Hello Ziggy. I wasn't expecting you. Please, come in. That is, if you want to, of course." Despite the gravity of the situation, I couldn't help but crack a smile. She was just too cute for her own good.

"Thanks Fluttershy. I've come over because there's something I need to tell you." I said. She seemed a little flustered at this, but invited me in anyway.

"Please have a seat, if you want. Can I get you anything?" I shook my head and sat down on her armchair. She took a seat on the couch across from me, looking at me with a bewildered expression on her face.

"So, what is it that you wanted to tell me?" She asked. I took a deep breath.

"Well, I'm not quite sure how to put this..." I paused. How would I put this.

"I'm not... It's... You're... No, let's try this." Another pause to clear my throat before continuing.

"Fluttershy, I've known you for quite some time now. And all during this time, I've grown closer to you in a very personal fashion. But despite everything between us, I haven't been completely honest with you. You see, I have a very deep secret. Something that, between us, is ground-shaking." I stopped there and looked at her. She sat still, eyes locked with mine, ears at attention.

"I'm going to show you what it is." I said. I stood up and looked at her one last time in my guise. And then, I revealed my true self. I summoned the emerald green flames and set them on myself, being consumed in the familiar tingling sensation as fur and skin was erased from existence, and my exoskeleton was unearthed. The process may have only taken a brief moment or two, but it seemed to last forever.
I turned back to my host again, now standing before her as the changeling monster that I was. Her eyes were full of confusion and utter horror. I can't say I blame her.

"Z... Ziggy?!" She stuttered. I had truly shattered her world.

"Yes, Fluttershy. It's me, Zigzag." I looked away, unable to make eye contact with my favorite mare.

"The stallion you thought you knew is, in fact, a changeling. A lying, deceitful, disgusting parasite sucking away at the love you radiate. The most hated of species has been around you for years, and you didn't even know it." As I spoke I could feel my eyes begin to water, and I subconsciously cursed myself. I had resolved to do this with dignity, and I could no longer follow through. And I couldn't help but look at Fluttershy again. She, too, was on the verge of tears. And her mouth was partially open, as if she were trying to find words to say in response. But I beat her to the punch.

"I know you'll hate me, but I can't say I blame you. In fact, you're not the only one here. I hate myself, too. I hate myself for being such a horrid thing. For being a shell of what you are, and having to feed off you like a leech. I'm truly a repulsive creature." My tears were falling freely now. Tears of pity. My eyes were burning, and it felt like they were pressing into my skull. And as I spoke, I could feel my voice grow coarse and scratchy, like I had been shouting at the top of my lungs and my throat needed a rest. But still, I kept going.

"I don't know what I was thinking when I met you. You just had something... Different. Something else that nopony else had. And sweet Queen, was it amazing. Even from a distance I knew I wanted it, whatever it was.
Of course, at the time, I hadn't been out of the hive yet, and didn't know that what you had was love. You were my first source. And the best. Even now, after all these years, it's still as potent and sweet as the first time we met. So pure and wholesome... It's almost like a drug- an addictive and mind-numbing drug." I looked to Fluttershy again. She wasn't faring any better than I was. Her eyes were reddened, and she had shed a few tears as well, evident from the streaks of wetness falling down her muzzle. I can never forgive myself for reducing her to such a state. I averted my gaze again and began to speak.

"I was a fool to think I could keep this up. A damn fool. No better than my changeling brethren. But even they knew when to stop. I was so drunk on your love that I couldn't. I'd talked myself into believing that I could keep it up forever. That no one would know or find out, and that you'd be mine forever. But I was wrong. So very, very wrong, because a funny thing happened soon after: I discovered that I actually loved you back. It was an insanely ludicrous thing. How could a changeling love its victim?! Not only was it illogical- it was illegal. But it happened anyway. I fell in love with you. I fell in love with your mane, your eyes, your little squeaks of surprise, that way you hide in your mane when you're startled. Everything. I loved everything about you. And I could tell you loved me too. Your love was pure and uncorrupt, and it was more filling than anything in the world.
But I came to realize, eventually, that it couldn't last forever. I would eventually slip up, and you'd catch me as I truly was. That didn't stop me from trying, though. And if I didn't feel so guilty, I might have succeeded. My guilt kept growing and growing, gnawing at the back of my mind until today, when I decided that if I didn't say something, I'd eventually go crazy. And now, here I am." I stopped and once again pointed my gaze at Fluttershy. She looked shaken up, but she hadn't moved at all. Neither had she said a word. She still looked flabbergasted now, actually. She still had yet to speak, and I waited. And waited. But she didn't say anything. The silence was suffocating, and I couldn't take it any longer.

"Well, uh... I guess I'll leave then. Goodbye, Flutters. It's been the best time of my life." I made my way to the door and paused.

"I'm sorry I'm like this. Believe me, if there was a way to change it, I'd do it in a heartbeat." I hesitated for just a brief moment, straining my ears for anything I could use as an excuse to stay. But I didn't hear anything, so I left. I closed the door softly behind me and flew off into the evening sky.