Trying Love

I don’t consider myself to be a vain pony. In fact, I rarely put much effort into my appearance, unless it’s a special occasion. People tell me that I’m beautiful and sophisticated, but I really only owe that to my mother. She raised me to be the perfect princess, not a hair out of place, always respected and revered by the subjects.

I don’t consider myself to be vain, but if I had to pick a favorite part of myself, it would be my eyes. They’re big and a lovely shade of purple, framed by naturally long eyelashes. I used to wonder if those came from my father, since I knew my mother’s eyelashes weren’t particularly impressive, but she refused to ever comment on my father. The only thing she would tell me was, “The best thing he ever gave you was his absence.” My mother never lies, and so I accepted that as the whole truth. I still do.

On the day I made The Decision that changed my life, I was looking myself in my violet eyes. My mother had just given me an enormous mirror that spanned nearly an entire wall of my room, something that was probably more expensive than I could even fathom. The gold frame was crafted beautifully with authentic unicorn magic, she told me as I tore through the wrapping paper with my hooves. I absolutely loved it. This was the only mirror in the castle that allowed me to see all of my body at once, which didn’t really matter, but was interesting for the first time.

“The color matches your cutie mark perfectly,” My mother commented in her soft, gentle voice. I turned to look at my rump in the mirror, the gold arches around the crystal heart identical to the gold around the glass of the mirror. I beamed.

“Thank you so much,” I’d said for the umpteenth time. “It’s wonderful.”

“Only the best to celebrate your seventeenth birthday,” She had replied, gently nuzzling my face. “I’ll leave you to enjoy it. I have a few matters to attend to.”

That had been in February. It was May now, and Spring was coming to an end. I’d just finished my eleventh year studies with my private tutor, Harmony Song. I loved her name, because she was one of the few ponies whose special talent didn’t match up with her name- she was terrible at any kind of music making. Instead, she was a compassionate teacher, and I was lucky to have her. Lucky as I could be, anyway.

I thought about her as I gazed at my reflection, searching my own expression for some kind of answer to what I was feeling. By turning sideways just a bit, I could see my full cutie mark: a crystal heart above a golden border. It signified my special talent of spreading love to other ponies, something that was “incredibly important”, or so my mother always told me. I’d never been able to get a second opinion, though. The only ponies I ever really talked to were her, Harmony, and a few servants or guards around the castle, and of course they would agree with her.

It struck me as almost ironic that my special talent was to spread love, when I had never experienced love for myself. Sure, I loved my mother, but that wasn’t the only kind of love there was. She spoke all the time of the magic of friendship, and of course there was love between a mare and a stallion…

More than ever lately, I’d felt more and more unsettled about this. I was nearly a full grown mare, and while I was extremely knowledgeable in subjects that can be taught from a book, I could count my friends on one hoof. And that’s because I didn’t have any. My twelfth year of education was coming up in only a few months, and this might very well be my last possible chance to get to know ponies my age. I wanted to understand what my talent created. I wanted to love, on all levels.

I decided that I had to ask my mother to enroll me in the public schooling system. As soon as that decision was made, my eyes softened, as if a great stress had been lifted from my shoulders. And in a way, it had. As soon as my case was made, the matter was out of my hooves. Now all that was left was mustering the courage to speak with my mother. Even though she was gentle and soft spoken, she carried a powerful air of authority. I’d never seen a pony disrespect her.

I smoothed my pink, yellow, and purple mane with my magic before I walked out of my bedroom and down to the sitting area of the castle. My mother was seated in an armchair near an impressive fireplace, where she usually was at this time of the evening. She was poring over letters that I’d never been allowed to read, her eyes down in concentration.

“Mother?” I said, stepping forward. Her eyes rose, and she greeted me with a smile.

“Cadence, sweetheart. What brings you out so late?”

“I was thinking, and I hoped to speak with you. A few days ago, I finished my eleventh year studies.”

“I know, I’m very proud of you. Harmony told me you got a perfect score on your final examination. That’s excellent.” She tilted her head as she looked at me, and her ever-flowing mane of pastel colors shone beautifully in the firelight. Sometimes, when we were talking about things that weren’t very important, I found myself distracted as I watched it move and swirl like it was alive.

“Thank you. I was actually thinking about my twelfth year, though.”

“That doesn’t start for a few months. What’s bothering you, my child?”

I did my best to maintain eye contact as she had taught me, carefully keeping myself from looking at the floor. “Ever since I was a filly, I’ve been taught within the castle. I don’t know many ponies my age, I don’t have any friends. I’m certainly not complaining, I know I’ve led a very privileged life. I simply wanted to ask if it would be possible…” I paused, and took a deep breath. “I wanted to spend my twelfth year in public school.”

She was quiet for a long moment, considering this. “You know why that hasn’t been possible up to this point.”

“Yes. I would be sure not to reveal our secret to anyone. I have enough self control, I promise.”

She nodded. “Yes, I don’t doubt that.”

Hope swelled in my chest. “Would there be any other reason to stay tutored by Harmony?” I asked, prepared to make an argument for anything she might say.

“No, I don’t suppose there would be.” She responded. “I expected this to come from you. I’m actually surprised it took this long.”

I couldn’t help it, my mouth dropped open in surprise. “Is that a yes?”

“It is a yes. You must keep your origins hidden, though, my child. If anyone asks, you’ve recently moved to Equestria from a bordering land and are staying as a guest in the castle. Is that understood?”

I lowered my head in a slight bow. “Yes, mother. You have my word.”

She stood from her seat, moving aside her work with magic from her glistening white horn. She walked over to me and touched her snout to mine, prompting a smile from me. “I trust you. I’ll make the arrangements for your enrollment in the morning. I should warn you, though, Cadence. Some ponies may act in ways you wouldn’t expect.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I mean that there are many ponies, especially your age, that are cruel and hurtful. You mustn’t forget how you were raised, or who you are. You’re incredibly special, Cadence. I would hate to see your magic of love lost for any reason.”

My cheeks warmed in pride. “Thank you, mother. I’ll stay true to myself. My magic isn’t nearly as important as yours, though.”

She glanced at her flank, where the symbol of a sun was emblazed on her sheer white coat. “Sometimes, love is more important even than sunlight. Now off to bed, child. I have work to attend to.”

***

“Oh, Shining, baby, I’m so happy that it’s finally summer!”

The beautiful voice flew through my ear lovingly as I walked to my wrestling locker. It was the last day of junior year, and the final bell had just rung. The voice came from my girlfriend, Fleur de Lis. She was quite the sight. She had a light pink mane that soared across her neck and bounced happily as she trotted towards me. The braces along her top teeth were absolutely adorable. Her beautiful flank bounced up and down as she happily giggled, her rump being so large and luscious. . . She was the most amazing pony I had ever seen. I'd been going out with her for about six months, as of the previous Monday.

“I’m happy, too! Just think about it- our first summer together. We can do so many fun things! I’ll take you around Canterlot, I’ll bring you to that fair that opens up, and eve-“ I told Fleur as we were walking to my locker.

“Shining, there you are! How grand to see you! How are you?” A familiar voice called out to me. It was grandiose, even for the natural speak of Canterlot ponies.

“Fancypants! Vance! Hey there!” I grinned as I brohoofed Fancypants.

Fancypants was quite the, well, fancy type. He had a perfectly combed blue mane that was cut in a fashion that made everypony jealous of its perfection, and was the smartest pony on the wrestling team. He always loved the kinds of things that rich ponies liked. He liked going to art galleries, buying new suits, attending formal events, and of course, spending his money. It was a wonder how he even chose to be part of the wrestling team. But I was finally better than him, and I’d surely best him for the captain spot next year.

Oh yeah, I was also on the wrestling team. Varsity since freshman year. I didn’t intend to become a wrestler, though. My goals were MUCH higher. I intended to become part of the Canterlot Royal Guard. After high school, I’d ship myself off to Royal Guard Academy and be directly with the princess, protecting her from any kind of danger. Fleur got mad at me about it, but it’s what I wanted to do, and if she couldn't accept that. . .

Vance was also a very nice pony. Vance Van Vendington, his name was. He had a blonde mane and a brown body, and was always carrying catalogs and information about auctions around town. He wanted more than anything to become an auctioneer, or at least something to do with selling stuff. Like me and Fancypants, he was also on the wrestling team. Granted, not as good as either of us, but he was somewhere in the top five.

“How have you been, man? Ready for the break?” I asked Fancypants, amazingly happy to see him even though I just saw him two periods ago.

“Oh, I am quite prepared for this break! I heard that there was a local art gallery that I’d just love to check out. I know that you aren’t much into art, Shining, but you really should think about going. Vance is going with me, too!” Fancypants replied.

“Oh, it’s mostly because there’s an auction there, too. I just HAVE to see them in action if I ever want to be as good as a real auctioneer.” Vance said, his eyes glowing with excitement. “You should really go, Shining!”

“Me? You should invite Blueblood! He’s always really into that kind of stuff!” I replied, trying to find some way out of going to some lame art festival.

“Heh, he’s probably too busy fu-. . . playing with his girlfriend!” Vance replied, subtly brohoofing Fancy Pants after stating his words.

Blueblood, Blueblood, Blueblood. He had been one of Fancypants’s best friends since they were both little foals (The other two being me and Vance, but he met us in his freshman year in high school with wrestling). Blueblood and I got along just fine, but he was the exact opposite of me. He had the same regal white body that Fancypants had, and a long blonde mane, which I’d joke around with him about having. Much like Fancypants, he loved doing things that the rich did. However, he was a bit of a baby. He would complain during class about how the classroom was too hot or too cold, or how his seat creaked when he moved it. He even asked our teacher to postpone a test because he didn’t have his favorite quill that day. But he still had an insanely hot girlfriend, Trixie. Sure, she was just a freshman, but man. . . she was second only to my Fleur.

Anyways, Blueblood hated any sort of physical activity. I tried to get him in wrestling, but he complained that it would be too hard and he’d get too tired and they’d be too mean to him and he’d be sweaty and. . . yeah, he wasn't the best choice. But he still came to support us, which was nice of him until he complained that the seat was too hard. He was still an okay person, though. . . sometimes.

“Ah, Blueblood! A fine suggestion indeed. I’ll go ahead and ask him. We better leave now, Blueblood always goes home very early. I’ll talk to you later, and please think about attending the festival with us!” Fancypants agreed, turning around towards the door.

“Don’t worry, man, I will! I’ll see you guys later!” I lied. The art festival was not happening. I opened my locker and took out all of my books, finding a place to shove all of the loose homework that I had into the bottom of my bag. I carefully placed the pictures of Fleur into a special compartment, and filled the rest of my bag with all of my textbooks. “Man, these classes were lame. English III. . . Magic III. . . “ I counted off the books as I cleared them out.

Suddenly, I heard the frantic clopping of hooves as a familiar scent of country filled the air.

“HOWDY, SHINING!” A friendly voice pierced my ears.

“Oh. . . Hey, Braeburn!” I greeted him, being as friendly as possible. Braeburn was one of those ponies that always seemed to be so unusually happy, when he shouldn't have been happy at all. He was unlike the other ponies here. He came from the small town of Hayville, but moved all the way to Canterlot to learn about business, since Hayville schools pretty much just existed for the sake of teaching those ponies how to read. Braeburn didn’t have many friends, though. He was nearly the only Earth pony at the school (even the custodians were Unicorns, with one Pegasus), and ponies would often make fun of him by picking up his bag from him and throwing it on ceilings, where he couldn’t get it back without the help of custodians. The only other Earth pony that attended the school was my good friend Octavia, but because she was a filly and was so kind and sophisticated, nobody bothered her about it.

Braeburn wasn’t depressed or put down, though. He always had a smile on his face, and eventually learned how to climb to the ceiling of every school building, easy for him with Earth ponies being so physically adept. Speaking of physical, why wasn’t he in any sports? Hm.

“Ah, thank goodness yer here, Shining! Ooh, I’m SO happy that this year is over! Ya wanna know why? 'Cause I get ta have mah BUSINESS class next year, and mah ARCHITECTURE class next year! Ya know what that means, RIGHT?!” Braeburn exclaimed, excitedly.

Why was Braeburn even here? He wasn’t in a sport! But anyways, Braeburn came to this school with a goal in mind. He wanted to start a new town called Appleoosa. I met his cousin, Big Macintosh, at a wrestling tournament against Ponyville High (He’s a very fine wrestler, by the way. Can’t say he’s the brightest of ponies, sadly). He’d always complain about how much Braeburn would talk about this city of his. It was a city dedicated to growing Apples, just like at Big Mac’s home, Apple Acres. And boy, was Braeburn was headstrong about this idea. All he needed was a business, government, and architecture class, and he could easily run his entire town. All of which he was getting next year.

“Appleo-?” I replied, emotionless.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPLEOOOOOOOOOOSA!” Braeburn loudly announced into the open. The locker room was pretty quiet, but two of my wrestling friends, Jet Set and Perry Pierce, gave him nasty glares.

“Oh, cool!” I said in an annoyed tone, not caring anything about this Applepashita idea he had.

“Ah know, pardner, ain't it great! Ooh, ah’m just SO excited! Ah could just get started studyin’ and plannin’ right now!” Braeburn exclaimed, bouncing slightly

“Please do!” I said, louder than I wanted to.

“Alrighty then! Thanks Shining, yer the best!” Braeburn laughed and sprinted towards the door.

Damn, he was annoying, but he’d be great on the wrestling team. Earth ponies are really strong. If he’s anything like his cousin, he’d be killer out there. . . not captain, though. Please no. Now finally t-

“Hey, Shining!” a very sophisticated female voice called out.

Who the fuck let girls into the- I looked at Fleur, busy talking with with Upper Crust. As I said, was anybody even checking for girls in the guys locker room?

“Oh, hey there, Octavia!” I said happily. Octavia was almost as sophisticated as Fancypants. She always walked slowly and didn’t talk to many ponies. She spent so much of her time playing cello and piano that she barely had time for them, but she still knew how to be classy and nice to anypony she met.

“Hey there, Shining! I was just curious, so, you know Jazz, our music director? Well, he wants to get a jazz band started. We have most of the people that we need, but we’re missing one person. The bass guitar player. I remember you telling me once in English that you wanted to play an instrument. Would you be interested in learning it?” Octavia asked, obviously nervous, not wanting to bug her few friends too often.

“That’d be great!” I replied. I wasn’t lying. I think it’d be nice to play a musical instrument. Who knew, maybe it’d impress Fleur. . . or at least some mare who’d be wooed over me.

“Oh, thank you! I’ll be at your house tomorrow to get you started! I’m new to jazz music as well. It doesn’t help that I’m on piano instead of cello. But we’ll talk more tomorrow, I must leave!” Octavia said, obviously realizing that she was in a guys locker room, against the rules, even though there were possibly more mares than stallions at this point.

“Oh, bye!” I said happily and shortly as she rushed out, still keeping her class.

The locker room slowly emptied out as everypony rushed out to go home and enjoy their summer break. Eventually, it was just me and Fleur. When Octavia ran off, Fleur had just finished talking to her friend, making us the only ones in the locker room. My assumptions were right that no teacher was checking on us; they'd all gone home.

“So, Shining. . . “ Fleur moved in closer. “Remember that promise you made me?” She giggled softly.

“Oh, yeah! I’ll take you to see my parents today!” I remembered suddenly. We had hit our six month mark the previous Monday. She was so happy, seeing how long the relationship had gone. She was more of a flighty pony, being able to fit in about 10 boyfriends within a year, but she'd stuck with me for such a long time. She really thought I was the one. I thought she was pretty okay, too. We fought a lot, but I still cared about her, and dude, was she hot! It’d make her happy to see that this was a long relationship, and seeing my parents would only confirm it even more.

“Oh, I’m so happy that we’re getting so serious! I mean, meeting your parents and all!” She giggled. “But you know. . . there’s one thing we haven’t done!”

Shit, not again.

“What is it, honey?” I ask. I know what she’s going to say. I’m not doing it.

“Honey, before I ask, I think I saw an ID card on top of the lockers. Can you get it? We can turn it in!” She said. I wasn’t good enough at magic to aim at things I couldn’t see, so I got up on my hind legs, balancing my front hooves on the locker, trying to find this ID card.

“I don’t see anything! Are you su- FLEEEUURRR!!” I yelped as I felt some sort of tickling between my legs. I jumped down and saw that Fleur was under me, trying to get frisky with her hooves.

“Fleur, how many times do I have to tell you? I don’t want to have sex yet! Even if I did, I wouldn’t do it here!” I scolded her as she playfully smiled.

“Aww, Shining, you’re no fun! You know, with all of my other boyfriends, we'd done all kinds of things by now!” She replied, staring critically at my obvious lack of physical response.

I could have said so much. But I didn’t. I was still her boyfriend, after all.

“Please. Just respect me. If you want to say with me, then you’re just going to have to accept that. I’m waiting until I find that person that I want to share my life with!” I exclaimed, still flustered by her actions.

Wrong thing to say.

“How could you say that to me? We’ve been together for six months and you have the audacity to say “OH, YOU’RE NOT THE ONE FOR ME.” Well you know what? FUCK YOU. I'll see you later, Shining.” Fleur exclaimed, stomping out of the locker room furiously.

Damn. She was so hot, but hot girls always came with a price. Trixie was a bitch, and Fleur. . . damn. If only there was somepony that could be beautiful AND nice. . . but you know, life is full of compromises. Gotta live with them.

I grabbed my bags and walked home, tired and alone, waiting for the feeling of summer to kick in.