One thousand years...

by CosmicAfro

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6, Nightmare Moon
Length: 1070

One shot; stench; why did I write this?

...is an extremely long time. When Nightmare Moon returned, everypony forgot that something truly terrible was brewing. No, not evil, not maleficence, but something truly wicked. Something of truly preposterous porous proportions.

Published 2012-11-26 09:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-26 09:50:01 UTC

This is a chapter, click on it to read words.

There was no warning, perhaps other than Twilight Sparkle’s superstitions on Nightmare Moon’s arrival, for what had happened. Even then, the most analytical mind in all of Ponyville didn’t even dare question how her entrance might affect other ponies. Due to her lack of pragmatic thinking and being isolated in her reclusive paradigm, an unearthly horror was unleashed upon the crowd of Equestrians.

True, Nightmare Moon was a visually threatening pony. Her eyes were like snakes, her mane was more mysterious than an elusive missing left sock, and her posture demanded mere ponies to respect her. Standing on a balcony, looking down upon the subjects like a tyrant didn’t help at all either. She wore a grin so devious that flowers wilted in her presence, and that was in her happy mood. But there was something else about her that wilted flowers, something that could be felt without being seen.

At first, this something wasn’t noticed. Silently, this something sneaked into the room and permeated it by expanding in all directions. It wasn’t until one unicorn, Rarity, fainted under its unseen prowess.

A stallion, in the front of the crowd, sniffed the air and then covered his nose almost immediately, his front half falling to the ground as a result. “Great Celestia of Equestria!” he screamed through his covered muzzle, “what is that horrible stench?”

At first, no pony paid any attention to him. But, one by one, like a plague in fast motion, more nostrils were invaded by the Queen of the Night’s stench. “It’s horrible!”

“It’s like rotten cheese!”

“Don’t compliment the cheese, this is like putrid sewer waste mixed with all of the trash in Equestria!”

“I would rather stick my hooves in a blender than face this stink!”

“I think I’m going to be- urg- sick! Yep! I’m going to be sick!”

“Tell my wife, I love her!”

“No! You killed Big Macintosh!”

“It’s so bad my head is balding! Sweet merciful Celestia, what did we ever do to deserve this!?”

Her majesty didn’t smell what they were complaining about. “Foolish ponies, what are you going on about?” She lifted a leg and smelled the underside of her pit. Nothing unusual.

“How can you not smell that?” Applejack spoke up. “I’ve smelled some pretty nasty Timberwolf dung but this is just-“ she lost consciousness as the smell overtook her senses.

Pinkie Pie, wearing her emergency gas mask, spoke through the complaining crowd. “Uhm, Nightmare Moon? Could you please step back a few countries? Maybe go back to the moon?”

“Is this some kind of joke?” she retorted, unamused. “Do you really think some ludicrous prank is going to wane my desire for revenge?”

Fluttershy, more used to foul animal scents, stood with her legs wobbling. Twilight and Rainbow Dash had already fainted. “No, really. You smell, really bad.” Her nose reeled and the timid Pegasus inhaled a large sum of air, wincing at the presumably toxic air starting to invade her lungs.

At that note, the rest of the audience collapsed.

Nightmare Moon raised a hoof to her mouth and blew on it, then re-inhaled the air. Something did seem off putting. “This isn’t a joke, is it?” she addressed with a hint of concern.

“Nopey Do- eww, eww, eww, eww, it’s seeping in through the mask!” Desperately, Pinkie tried to yank it off of her face. “Fluttershy! Help! It’s- oh that stinks- It’s stuck!” Using all four hooves, she desperately attempted to yank it off. “Help!”
Fluttershy, her mouth holding her reserve air bubble, trotted over to the irregular earth pony and pulled from the other side. Almost immediately, she regretted that decision as the force consumed every ounce of strength without breathing. As she fainted, Pinkie Pie panicked.

“No! Fluttershy!” A black haze formed around the party pony’s peripherals. “You monster! Why didn’t you take a bath before- cough- before you came here?” Knowing her fate was soon going to be sealed, Pinkie rose to all four feet. She began to hobble towards the odorous omnipotence. “Please… I think I can speak for all of the Equestrians in Ponyville when I say we’ll do anything if you just… clean… yourself.” Somehow, she found the strength to climb up a column and reach the balcony Nightmare Moon stood on. Gas mask to face, the Alicorn could see through the tinted lenses and she discovered two deep, soulful crying eyes. “Please… for our future.”

Nightmare Moon took in a deep breath and exhaled. “No.”

Apparently, she hadn’t the decency to brush her teeth either as a scent more foul and borderline lethal soaked directly into the mask’s exhaust. The mare inside rolled her eyes all the way, until nothing but the whites were visible.

Nightmare Moon watched as the peculiar pony toppled over to one side with a leg twitching. “Well, it would seem as if I have won.” She stood there, consciously alone in the room, staring at her knocked out citizens. “That was simple.” She gently stepped over the body and flew gracefully down to the floor, landing with a light clack of her hooves against the tile. With some pride gone, she walked out of the building and viewed the outside world.

“Well, ponies will come and go, and I can take a leave of absence to cleanse myself at any time. But for now, I’ll take over this kingdom simply by walking. In time, my legend shall be known as my power and might instantly dominating those who dared oppress me.” She smiled. Revenge was going to be a lot simpler than she thought.

And so, the Alicorn of Everlasting Night stormed Canterlot Castle and became the Queen of Equestria. Eventually, those in Ponyville rose out of their stench-induced comas and fought her with the Elements of Harmony, but found that her odor was so strong, it diverted rainbows and all light magic. Eventually, ponies discovered that she was actually pretty cool and realized she was just a sister who wanted some attention. When they did, she reinstated the daytime and finally took a bath. She was loved by everyone. Celestia was deemed a tyrant for over throwing her sister and she was kicked out from Equestria. Twilight Sparkle followed her like a helpless lamb, convinced otherwise. Nopony else really gave a damn and Pinkie threw more awesome parties.

Happy Ending.