I HATE random Inter-Dimensional portals!
My name is Sierra Dewey, a 20 year old man who is attending the Grove City College PA, and I have been a victim of a horrible catastrophe.
The day started like any other, waking up in my bed, getting dressed, brushing my teeth, gathering my textbooks, and checking Equestria Daily before moving on.
I walked down stairs, and got my cereal and a can of my favourite soda, Mello Yello. Living in my Uncle's house near the college I was attending had some perks, like many cans of soda, the only problem, is it seamed there was only one left after this can, oh well.
It did not take long for me too realise that Pony Music Videos actually take up more time then I can spare, so I slurped down the cereal at blinding speed. As I ran to the door, car keys in one hand, textbooks in the other, I realised, I was not ready yet.
Of ALL things, this was the worst possible imaginable thing I could think of, I FORGOT TO DRINK MY MELLO YELLO! I turned around, and saw it's yellow cover glisten in the light from the window. In about 5 seconds of James Bond worthy couch jumping and table dodging, it was In my grasp, and now, I was ready.
With the step out of my door, I could now face the day, as I popped the can open and took a long, dramatic drink of the wonderful soda. One could not begin to explain the glorious feeling this brought to me each morning and night.
And with a turn of my head, crunch of the can, I was off to the car, and made it too class not a minute late.
Now, this was not the catastrophe I speak of, I just felt the story would go better if you new what my life was like. It was like Omni-potence times the over Nine-Thousand joke fifty times multiplied by Pinkie π, but only when I got that drink of Mello Yello, otherwise, don't even get me started.
Oh, now I am off track, let's continue off at the end of the day, because school is boring anyway, other than the brony dance parties, random encounters with trees, and Mythbusters coming to do a special on debunking everything Pinkie Pie has ever done in My little Pony, but who wants to hear about that?
So anyway, I got home, feeling like god as usual, because you know, my life is pretty well set, as long as my supply of Mello Yello is refilled enough to satisfy me.
I walked up to my room, and set my Laptop on the computer stand to charge. I picked up the bong I found on the ground next too a puddle of something, and I honestly to this day do not know how that got there. After cleaning up that mess, and finishing up some homework, I was ready for the thingy... wait, that is too broad, oh well.
I opened my Laptop, tuned to Equestria Daily, and saw some neat looking fanfictions. This was about the time I should be reading Frankenstein, but Trixie taking over the world with a golden pinecone is close enough, right?
I clicked the article, and reached to my side, and with a flash of realisation, I forgot the most important element of this setup, my Mello Yello!
With a sprint, hop, and dive, i was upside down in the litter box at the base of the stairs. Who put that there anyway? Did they not think about when i needed to get to my Mello Yello really fast, Oh wait, that was me.
I hopped up, ignored the fact that I think there is a large kitty doo doo on my back, and went straight to the fridge.
With an opening of the fridge door, I saw Mountain dew, Seirra mist, Pepsi-Cola, Coka-cola, Root beer, Beer Beer, but IT was nowhere to be seen. In panic, I pushed around all of the cans, until I saw the familiar yellow cover of the Mello Yello. I reached out, and firmly Grasped it into my hand, it would not escape me this time.
I jumped in the air, and took a big smell of cat dung, and, oh god! What the HELL did that cat eat!
I almost barfed, and ran upstairs to the bathroom to change my shirt.
In about 3 minutes, I was back to my setup, with the Mello Yello in the right spot.
With a click of the fanfiction's first chapter, I reached for the Mello Yello, anticipating the opening of the top, the spew of pop, and the taste of it with the cold refreshing soft drink running down my throat.
My hand was literally and inch away, when suddenly, an inter-dimensional wormhole opened up behind it. Shock filled my heart, followed by dread, as the can escaped my grasp, and was sucked into the wormhole.
So, I did what ANY sane human being in the terrestrial system would do, I dived head first into the wormhole.
Colors and lights swirled by me as I looked around. Luckily I was not epileptic, though I was starting to worry if I might get a migraine from this. Oh, did I remember to take my IBU Profane with me?
Then, I remember my mission, obtain the Mello Yello at all costs!
I looked around, and saw the can flying down the swirling mass of lights, and I swam towards it. Everything seamed to be going faster and faster, and I started to feel like I was on a rollar coaster with no seat. But, I could not pass out, not when I was this close! I extended my hand out as far as I could, and it was inches from my grasp, when suddenly, the can and I flew out of the wormhole.
The faint sound of wind could be heard, as the smell of grass filled my nostrils. I felt my head, and with fear of the possibility I was decapitated and lying dead in the park, I opened my eyes and jumped up.
With a look around, I saw them, you know, as you probably predicted, THE GNORCS FROM SPYRO THE DRAGON!
Naw, I am just pulling on your leg, literally, just come closer, let me feel up your leg more, oh yeah, wait, why am i going so in depth here?!?!
I actually saw fifty-thousand Dalek's from Doctor Who. I would have normally shat myself, until I remember my mission. I pushed the Daleks aside, and ignored them, as I saw my soda can siting on the tummy of some fat worm thing. So, I walked up, and punched him into the next dimension, of which meant I actually created another inter-dimensional portal, and it sucked me and the Mello Yello up.
After the same routine of waking up, I jumped up again, and shouted "WERE IS IT!" while holding out a pencil to look threatening.
Too my surprise, I was shouting at the Mane six from My Little Pony, Friendship is magic.
Applejack, having a southern stereotype accent, replied, "What in tarnation are you?!"
Rainbow Dash, being the jerk i hate that everyone else loves, said "Tell us were your from bub!"
Fluttershy added "If, if that is okay to ask..."
Normally, under these circumstances, I would be jumping in the air, with joy, followed by my logical side saying (Wait, How will I get back?), and then we all would go on an adventure, kill whatever evil being caused me to be here, and I would go home with happy memories.
But, this, this was a whole new scenario, as I had a MISSION!
So, I simply pushed the flying blue thing with the annoying voice and the southern one wearing a hat to the side, and scoped out the area.
It was very pretty, Ponyville really must recover from total disaster really fast, or they just save backups of their world.
But, that was not my concern, as I saw the can of Mello Yellow sitting a few meters away in the grass.
I quickly charged toward it, before that darn purple one called Twilight picked me up with her magic and said "Were do you think your going!? We have some questions for you!"
In response, I shouted "I NEED THAT CAN! THE SAFETY OF THE MANY UNIVERSES IS AT STAKE!"
Twilight looked around baffled, and put me down. I quickly stood up, and dusted myself off.
With turning back toward the can, I was filled with horror, it was now in the mouth of some annoying looking dark crystal being that was secreting dark magic. So, I quickly charged at it.
The creature sprinted away, and then it flew away in a cloud of smoke, damn hackers.
Behind me, I could hear the confusion of the Ponies, and a sudden burst of realisation hit me, "Holy crap, I am in Equestria... and now MY MELLO YELLO IS IN THE HANDS OF SOME VILLAIN!"
I turned to the Mane six again, and said "Help me get that can back and I will reward you with... hold on a second."
I checked my pockets, and found a 3 month old ghost chilli, the hottest pepper in the world... were did I get that again? Nevermind that, just another long winded story.
So, I held it out and continued, "Sooo, we have a deal ponies?"
It never once crossed my mind I was likely the first human they had seen, I was lucky they actually knew whose evil minion that was though. Looking back, I bet they thought I was some sort Doctor Who type guy and went with that, being as my focus was always on the task at hand, I must have a drink of that Mello Yello.
And so, my quest began...
