Relentless Boundaries

I heard voices outside and was immediately awoken from my sleep, “ah’m tellin yah sis he ain’t bad” cried a little voice that I could remember “ah told yah not tah go outside last night now steep aside and let the grown-ups handle this” ordered another southerner voice, except this one was more… older I suppose yet still a younger feminine voice.

I quickly scooped up my SKS and looked around for a suitable hiding spot, the only place I could see was a platform directly above the door, I shrugged and scampered up the wooden ladder and crouched cautiously and waited for those… things or ponies or whatever to make their move. “Applejack please, he’s muh friend” pleaded the little pony that was named Applebloom, man they all had such weird names. “Applebloom get out of the way dearie if that thing came from out of the Ever-free it could be dangerous” warned an elderly woman’s voice, actually I bet she was a god dammed pony as well, ‘Ricardo I swear to god I’m gonna ring your neck when I find you’ I thought to myself.

“He ain’t dangerous and he ain’t from the Ever-free” Applebloom argued, “then where is he from” the voice, who I presumed belonged to who Applebloom had called ‘Applejack’, asked “ah don’t exactly know” Applebloom replied, “then we can’t take unnecessary risks” Applejack informed Applebloom, “please don’t kill him” Applebloom pleaded, “ah won’t ah’m just not takin any chances” Applejack replied and with that the barn door creaked open and a lone orange pony walked in with a pitchfork held in her mouth, figures they don’t have hands so they hold them in their mouths. She approached where I had been sleeping and looked around “he ain’t here” Applejack informed the others outside. I kept low hoping she wouldn’t spot me.

“Well Applebloom maybe yer friend wandered off” Applejack replied as she let out a deep sigh and started walking out of the barn, I let out a deep sigh as well but unfortunately the floorboards underneath me creaked from my weight and Applejack looked up and let out a screech of fear and I lept from the platform and did a front flip in the air and landed on the ground, I rolled then came to my feet and spun around and looked the pony in the eye, she had green eyes, blonde hair and orangey fur. “Whoa Nellie, hold yer horses or else” she threatened, frightened by my obviously larger body mass, while the other one called Applebloom stood at barely my knees this one stood at my hip level. “Or what?” I asked casually, “hey don’t yah make me fork yah” she threatened as she brought up the pitchfork and waved it at me.

I approached her and yanked the pitchfork out of her mouth and threw it like a dart into the wall of the barn, it stuck violently into the barn wall. She stood there wide eyed and frightened. I rolled my eyes “hey chill I ain’t gonna kill you for your hides” I laughed but they apparently didn’t see the humor in it and Applejack took a cautious step back. I looked to Applebloom and waved and she waved back “if I was here I would’ve shot you already” I informed her and slung my SKS across my back.

“What are you” Applejack managed to ask, “uh a human, ain’t you ever seen one of me before?” I asked and she shook her head. I sighed “listen, I ain’t gonna kill you, so let’s all just be friends okay” I suggested and she nodded and a big red pony that stood a little higher came forward and nodded at me “eeyup” he managed and I let out a sigh “I’m from earth, you know like the world?” I told them like I was trying to talk to a retard, “where’s earth? Is it somewhere else in Equestria?” Applejack asked and I rolled my eyes “what the hell is an Equestria?” I asked and she snickered “where have you been your whole life? Under a rock?” she asked in a hearty laugh, “no I’ve been in Africa” I informed her and she looked at me suspiciously “I thought you said you were from earth” she replied, “yeah you know like, Africa? The place on earth that is war torn?” I asked stupidly. “Tell us about this earth” Applejack asked and I rolled my eyes and began explaining to them where I was from.

* * *

So 3 long boring hours later I finished my story about how I got here and what had happened last night, well I left the part out about shooting the lion thing and the wolves and being a poacher and all that. “So all yah remember is a bright purple light” Applejack asked “yeah, oh and some crazy ass lion thing with a scorpion tail and some mean wolves” I replied, “you mean a Manticore and Timber wolves” she replied. “Hey I seen Timber wolves before and those ain’t no Timber wolves” I told her and she laughed “that’s cause they’re zap apple Timber wolves” she informed me. “Okay whatever” I muttered as I got up.

“Where yah goin” Applebloom asked curiously “home” I said bluntly, “how yah gonna get home, yah aren’t sayin yer gonna go back into the Ever-free again are yah?” she Applebloom asked, “if it means I get home yes” I told them and began to leave, abet rudely so I turned and looked to them with a hearty face “thanks for the hospitality” I mentioned but Applebloom ran in front of me and stopped me “aren’t yah gonna stay fer breakfast?” she asked with widened puppy dog eyes, god that was freaky how she could… tears started coming to her eyes and it was like my heart melted. “Okay I’ll stay for breakfast” I muttered reluctantly and she jumped in the air “hurray Ron’s staying fer breakfast” Applebloom cheered and started hoping around like some character out of an old 80s cartoon.

“Yah’ll never get rid of her now” Applejack snickered, “unless yah break her heart”. I rolled my eyes as the led me into what I presumed to be their house. We entered and I had to duck down under the doorway, guess they never expected to have someone of my height in their home. I set my SKS by the doorway and followed them into another room “Applebloom make room for our guest while I get breakfast ready, is salad and apples okay for your breakfast Ron?” Applejack asked, I shrugged “whatever you make I’m sure it’ll be delicious” I told her in a charming voice “charmer huh?” she asked rhetorically and went to the kitchen as Applebloom showed me the dining table and they all sat down, except Applejack who was busy in the kitchen.

I looked across the table to the big red pony that had called himself Big Macintosh, “so uhm nice place” I complimented and he simply nodded and replied “eeyup”, “you uhh ever have many guests?” I asked trying to make conversation “eeyup” he replied again. “Guess not many are like me huh?” I asked rhetorically, “nope” he replied bluntly, “don’t talk much eh?” I asked, “nope” he replied. “He’s kinda shy” Applebloom informed me and I nodded “take a seat Ron” Applebloom offered and I looked down to the seat in front of me, it was somewhat large and could probably support my weight. As I sat down I heard the seat creak and immediately stood back up “I think I’ll just sit down on my uhm bottom” I said trying not to swear, she was probably young as far as this culture went and I didn’t want to make a bad impression.

Applejack came back, somehow she had 5 trays of food balanced on her back and nose and somehow managed to get all the trays on the table, “thank mam” I said politely and she let out a hoot “just call me AJ, all muh friends do, and yah can knock of that polite gentle-colt thing we ain’t on a date yah know” she laughed “I see, well thanks anyways” I said as I took a bit out of an apple and they all looked at me curiously, I let out a sigh “uh, am I supposed to eat it with like a utensil or…” I trailed off and realized that they were staring at my fingers. I looked at the backside of my hand to make sure there wasn’t a bug or something then wiggled my other hand’s fingers “cool eh?” I asked and Applebloom nodded. I continued to eat breakfast and they all watched me in amazement, like some idiot family watching a David Suzuki documentary about penguins or something.

We all finished our breakfast and I nodded to Applejack “hey thanks it was delicious” I said politely and she let out another laugh “ah think yah’d be perfect talking tah Rarity” she laughed and I remembered what she had said about my manners “uhh okay” I stuttered. Applejack somehow managed to collect all the dishes and went back to the kitchen, Applebloom dashed off “come on Ron we’re going to go cutie mark hunting” she laughed as she darted out the door. I looked back across the table and Big Mac and Granny Smith got up and started to leave as well. I stood up and walked into the kitchen where Applejack was washing dishes and I walked up behind her to give her a hand, funny, a ‘hand’… yeah anyway. She looked at me with curiosity written all across her face “thought yah said yah were going back home?” she asked, “not yet, I couldn’t just come in, eat and leave. Figured might as well help you for your hospitality” I told her as I started to wash a plate that had salad dressing on it “thanks, it’s kinda nice havin an extra hoof around here tah help out” she mentioned and I looked to her “you mean a hand I said wiggling my fingers and she laughed “yeah or a hand”.

We stood there for maybe 3 minutes chatting about the most random of thing, “uh so if Big Mac’s your brother who’s…” I trialed off, “who’s who?” she asked curiously “yah know like Mr. Applejack?” I asked, she let out an embarrassed gasp “are you flirting with me?” she asked as her cheeks blushed red, “no, but I’m waiting for some pony to come in with a shotgun and say ‘get away from my wife’” I told her with a chuckle, “and what makes you think ah’m married?” she asked turning back to the dirty dishes “uhm” I said as I tried to think up why I had thought she was married “I don’t know, funny, charismatic, honest, likable” I began but she interrupted me “whoa Nellie are yah sayin yah think ah’m cute?” she asked again blushing furiously, “well don’t know, see I’m of a different species and that is kind of weird” I told her “weird how?” she asked. I blushed as over 1 million thoughts raced through my head “trust me it’s… uncommon” I told her.

“Not sure how it would be weird yah seem like a nice enough guy, I mean Pegasus and Unicorns get together and they’re different” she explained, “whoa now hold on that’s like dogs and wolves and… wait a minute are you flirting with me?” I asked and she simply blushed and began furiously washing dishes again. “Well to be honest I guess if I was a horse loving guy you would be kind of cute” I told her, I hadn’t really thought about it, and I never had a relationship before so I had never really been attracted to females (or males). “Well yer kinda cute” she whispered sheepishly, I chuckled “thanks” I said politely “they say it’s the greatest thing a gal can do for a guy is to say he’s handsome, or at least that’s they say” I laughed and we both started talking about random things again, dropping the recent subject and hopefully it wouldn’t be brought up again.

“So any Mrs.?” she asked, ‘figures’ I thought to myself “no, never” I told her bluntly, “why not?” she asked curiously. I put
down the dish I was washing and looked at myself in her mirror, my face had stubble and my face was more squared and tough looking, along with the fact that I was kind of scruffy and hadn’t taken a shower in at least a month. “I suppose it’s because I…” I began but Applebloom rushed in, “Sis, a wild fox has gotten into the chickens again” Applebloom gasped cutting off my sentence. “Oh for Celestia’s sake” Applejack muttered as she ran out of the kitchen, tossing her cleaning dish cleaning apron off. I chased after her and on the way out the front door grabbed my SKS.

The fox was chasing the chickens around they chicken pen and trying to catch one, “darn-it, Applebloom get muh...” Applejack began but I fired my SKS into the air and everything stopped and looked at me, even the fox. The fox shrugged and began to chase chickens again and I fired a round close to his feet, kicking up dirt and debris into his face, he yipped and scampered off leaving the chickens at peace. “WHAT IN TARNATION” Applejack exclaimed, “uhh” I mumbled “what is that thing?” Applejack asked “an SKS rifle” I told her “and that thing does what exactly?” she asked, “uhm well where I come from there’s these things called guns…