Chapter 2: Interrogation, Part 7

{*First Person View, Main Character *}

Wow. I think my life has officially become FUBAR.

First, I somehow end up on some foreign planet. Then, I meet its denizens who which consist of talking colourful ponies who are not only intelligent but can also perform MAGIC. Next, I find myself being accused of invading their ‘little’ homeworld…

And now, I am looking at the back of a pink pony hanging upside down from the ceiling.

At first, I jumped up in shock to see a figure come out of nowhere and appear right in my face, but seeing as how stranger things have happened in the past hour or so, I didn’t freak out that badly. I managed to keep silent while the rose coloured intruder addressed my interrogation officer. I put my arms back down slowly from my facing to my side seeing as flinching wasn’t necessary anymore.

“Pinkie! Wha-but how-“ I couldn’t see Twilight’s face due to the fact that a blob of pink was obstructing my vision, but I could obviously hear the confusion and somewhat panic in her voice. “How the hay did you get in here?”

“Hmm, that’s a great question! I really have no idea! I was sitting in my bedroom 'cause it was raining outside pretty hard any I would have gotten soaked to my underwear if I went outside and the Sugarcube Corner was closed due to the storm, so I started to worry about you and Rainbow Dash and Applejack and Rarity and all my other friends, so I closed my eyes, thought about you and next thing I knew I was talking to you about the last five hours of my day!”

Jesus! She said all of that so fast! And I thought I talked pretty fast! Thankfully, I was able to catch her life story fairly well, and I have to say that THAT MAKES NO SENSE WHAT SO EVER. But seriously, what in this universe does? I feel like my brain has literally been mindfucked.

“But I-I-I-what-since when-how-?” I heard Twilight stammer.

“Twilight, I think that it’s best not to think about it too much.” Rarity recommended from my right side. I facepalmed, sending an echo of a slapping sound across the room. Even the weird-os of THIS universe think that this is abnormal! Why? Why is this happening right now?

“Ooh! Now who’s this sitting behind me?” That annoyingly cheerful voice spoke in front of me. I dragged my hand down my face to see what was going on. That pink intruder was now looking directly at me, face to face. She had a very poufy dark-pink mane, which matched the rest of her look pretty well. Her eyes were a very light sky blue with a profound muzzle and a matching pair of nostrils, just like the other ponies. Her mouth was twisted into a wide upside-down smile and her eyes were widening to the point that they could be compared to truck tires.

“Hiya!” the pink menace suddenly zoomed up a half-inch away from the tip of my nose. I could smell her breath from this distance. It smelt like cake batter. “I’m Pinkie Pie!” She let out a huge gasp. “Are you new around here? You must be! Because I know everypony in Ponyville, and I’ve never seen YOU around here before! What are you, anyways? Are you a gorilla? 'Cause you sure look like one! Well, not exactly like a gorilla, but almost somewhat exactly like one!”

Before she could get anything else out of her chatty-Cathy mouth of hers, I gently pushed away her head from mine, giving me much needed breathing room.

“Hey, have ya ever heard of ‘personal space’ before?” I snidely remarked.

She completely ignored me. As soon as I took my fingers off of her disgustingly pink face, she rushed right back up and continued her rant of unnecessary sentences.

“*Gasp* Are you an ALIEN? Cause you sure look like one! I’ve never seen an animal look like you before, so you must be some kind of alien! What kind of alien are you! What planet do you come from? What universe? Did you come here on a giant spaceship? Are you here to enslave the entire pony race?”

“That’s enough, sugar cube. Give the poor colt some space.” Applejack grabbed Pinkie Pie by the neck and dragged her several feet away from myself. Wait. Did she just call me a colt? Never mind, it doesn’t really matter that much.

“Thanks. I needed that.” I expressed my gratitude towards the orange mare.

“No problem. Pinkie, Twi’ here’s gotta bunch a notes for y’all to read. Ah think that would work better than askin’ him a bunch of questions all at once.”

“Okie Dokie Lokie!”

Pinkie grabbed whatever notes that Twilight was not using in her hooves and plumped down onto a bright red bean bag. She began reading.

“Great. Now that that’s over with-“Twilight started to say.

“Gaaaaaaaaahhh!!!” another voice shouted out, causing my ears to slightly ring in dislike.

I saw Rainbow Dash (what a name, really) launch off from her resting spot and into the air, flailing about in the process. She then quickly flew in circles around the room causing miscellaneous papers and scrolls to take flight with her. My hair blew backwards from the sheer force of her wing beats. She must be packing a lot of wing power!

“Hot hot hot hot hot hot hot!!!” she cried, clutching her tail which was slightly burning. She rapidly blew air into the charred hair, causing the fire to smolder out. There was still a trail of smoke where the flames used to be.

“Rainbow Dash, stop being silly and get down here this instant!” Rarity demanded, throwing her right foreleg downward for extra added dramatic effect.

“Silly, are you kidding me? I was on fire for Pete’s sake!” the cyan Pegasus complained, flapping her wings in mid-air.

“Couldn’t have been that bad.” Applejack soundly responded.

“Yes, it was that bad, as a matter of fact! Whose big fat idea was it to put me beside a fireplace, anyways?”

“Rainbow, we were just trying to dry you off! After flying in the rain, I’d thought that you would be thankful.” Twilight defended Applejack and herself.

“My tail was almost burned off! Is that what you would call helping? And besides, I wouldn’t have gotten soaked if that stupid window of yours would have opened instead of staying closed when I flew into it!”

“You very know well that that window would have broken AGAIN if it was normal! I placed a enforce spell on the glass because every time you enter my library you end up breaking one of my windows and I have to keep replacing them!”

“But who pays the bits to replace them? I do! It’s not like I take DON’T take responsibility when one of YOUR flimsy windows breaks from one of my light wind gusts!”

“Hah, wind gusts? You RAM into my windows, Rainbow Dash, and you know it!”

“Well, if you kept your windows open all the time then-“

She suddenly stopped her squabbling. When there was no noise for a split second, I knew something was wrong. I kinda zoned out during the bickering, because I didn’t need to have another verbal fight stress me out even more than I am right now. Well now, I zoned back in, just for my eyes to meet Rainbow’s. She immediately put on an expression of hatred and focus.

“Uh oh.” I muttered to myself.

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