Chapter 2: Interrogation, Part 4

{*First Person, Main Character*}

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“I said, what kind of mind do you have, invading our peaceful planet? What have we done to your people to deserve an alien invasion?” Twilight responded.

What. The fuck.

“Um, Twilight?” I heard the meek Pegasus whisper in the background.

“Hah, are you kidding me? I’m not invading anyone’s planet! All I did was wake up in some stranger’s bed surrounded by a bunch of fre-donkeys!”

Phew! I almost called them freaks! Speak your mind, not your thoughts, Griffin. “I’ve done nothing wrong!”

“First of all, we’re not donkeys, we’re ponies! Second, are you saying that you went to our planet by accident?”

Wait… They’re fucking… PONIES??? WHAT THE FUCK???

I can’t believe what she just said. Seriously, Fucking ponies? Out of all the un-godly, in-humane creatures that I could have ended up encountering on this god forsaken alien world, it’s colourful talking ponies? What the fuck is this shit? WHAT AM I WATCHING? There’s no way, no fucking way that this is real. It must be some kind of cracked-up dream or something. Yeah. That’s sounds right. There is no way in hell that I would wake up in a cartoonish library with a bunch of talking miniature horses that can subdue me with MAGIC and have a FUCKING LIT FIREPLACE in a COMPLETELY WOODEN ROOM.

Once again… what the fuck.

“Twilight…” The same quiet voice tried to grab the stupid purple horse’s attention.

“No! That is not what I’m saying at all! Well, I mean, yes! Kind of! Gah, you see, I have NO IDEA how the hell I got here, in fact, I’m pretty sure that I didn’t want to end up in a completely different planet in the first place, so you can just stop pointing fingers and lay off!” I forcefully yelled.

“Then how the hay did you get here in the first place?”

“I just said, I don’t know!”

“Twilight?”

“Care to explain further?” that fucking annoying unicorn asked me.

“What else is there to explain? I was doing… something some time ago before I got here. Next thing I know, I wake up in a bed that’s too small with a bunch of ‘pretty ponies’ surrounding me! Like I’ve said, I have no idea how I got here, nor do I have any idea of why I was sent here in the first place, got me?”

“I don’t believe you! You haven’t told us what you did before you arrived in Equestria! Why won’t you tell us? Is it because you’re hiding something? Is it because you want to keep secrets that are harmful to this planet? Answer me!”

“TWILIGHT!”

We all stopped and looked at the pink-haired Pegasus’s sudden outburst. She was taking deep breaths and tried to look as intimidating as possible, which isn’t saying much since she’s a freaking light yellow Pegasus with cute (gag) pink hair. She took a moment to realize that everyone was staring at her. She looked like she was going to faint when she suddenly rushed up to Twilight and intensely glared at her.

“Twilight Sparkle, you are assuming way too much of Griffin! Thinking that he is an alien from the movies with his plan to invade Equiss, you should be ashamed of yourself! Look at him! He is telling the truth! He has no idea how he got here or why he is here! All he knows is that he’s here in some strange unknown world and it scare’s him! You need to calm yourself or leave him alone!”

Wow. Talk about some touching words. Twilight was about to repent when another voice answered in my defence.

“She’s right, Twi. He’s not lyin’ one bit, and ah think that ah can see ah liar if there is one.” Applejack pointed out (I’m assuming that her name’s Applejack because the pony *shudders* who was addressed as Rarity called her Applejack).

“But-I-you see-I can explain-“

“You need to apologize right now!” Fluttershy ordered.

Twilight looked at Rarity and silently pleaded that she would back her up in the situation. How did I know this? I could see it in her eyes.

“Twilight dear, you’re being irrational right now. Try and think about the situation from his point of view. I would think that if you were scared and lost on some unknown planet you would be scared too!”

“Ok, just stop!” Twilight yelled out.

Once again, everybody in the room paused, including me. It looked like she was right on the edge. Ya know, the edge of the cliff between insanity and a calm, sane mind? It was kinda disturbing. I saw her eye twitch a few times before she gave me eye contact.

“Ahahah, yes, would you mind just sitting there for a second while I go and have a little talk with my friends?” Twilight inquired. When she said ‘friends’, I swear that those words could have cut someone in half they were so venomous. She looked towards the other three ponies (*shudders* gah, I cannot and will never get used to saying that word. It’s so… girly) who looked back at her nervously.

“Umm… Not at all.” I responded.

“Girls, if you would kindly follow me to the kitchen…” Twilight headed off to an open doorway which I presume is the entrance to the kitchen. Wait who the heck would put a kitchen in a library? But then again, who would put a guest room in a library? This is obviously not an ordinary building of books. Although, considering I’m on a completely different planet with different physics, visuals and MAGIC, I should expect the unexpected.

But I digress. The three remaining girls hesitated before carefully following suit.

Ok, now that they’re gone, I have a moment of silence (except for the FUCKING STORM OUTSIDE, Jesus, the sound of rain’s getting on my nerves) to think what exactly has happened in the last hour of my life. So far, I’ve traveled through universes (and probably dimensions too, why not) to end up on a planet called Equiss with a bunch of fluorescent miniature talking horses who have taken me hostage and have deemed me ‘hostile’ until further questioning by that crazed purple unicorn that can perform magic and goes by the name of ‘Twilight’.

Yep.

What the fuck have I gotten myself into.

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