[2] *Insert Witty Chapter Name Here*

Hey there everybody! So I finally got around to making another chapter, and it didn't come out like complete shit this time *gasp* So yeah, here it is, I'd love to hear back from you in the comments, and seriously, thanks to EVERYBODY who fav.ed and liked this story! ONWARD TOWARDS READING LAND!

[2]

I was alive! Halleluiah! Somehow, I was alive. That was all I knew and that’s all I cared about… except for an incessant beeping, that I cared about. It was damn annoying.

Having just barely re-entered the world of the living, I quickly realized where I was. Then again, it wasn’t all that hard. If you were in a nasty car wreck and wake up, alive, with an annoying beeping, it’s pretty obvious. I had been reincarnated as an alarm clock! But seriously, I was definitely in a hospital

Slowly, I regained most of my senses. Obviously, my hearing worked. Hearing was soon followed by smell, and it smelled like a hospital: overly sterile and nostril-burningly antisepticy. Okay, 2 down 3 to go. I tried sight. Cracking one lid open I immediately shut it again. I don’t think it was bright, but it still hurt. Just opening my damn eye hurt. Okay… taste? Yeah, so feel! Hmm… I felt… heavy? I couldn’t really move. I knew I was sore but couldn’t feel anything like I was numb. That’s understandable seeing as I was in a hospital. Last time I checked I was pretty banged up so I was grateful for the numbness.

Well, now I was fully awake and already bored. What the hell was I supposed to do? Just lay there, blind and immobile like a vegetable until some hospital nerd noticed I was actually awake? Wait, how would they even know I was awake? I had to get someone’s attention; just lying there doing nothing was driving me insane. (Wow, awake less than a minute and already bored out of my mind. That has to be some kind of record.)

My best bet was to call out to somebody. I inhaled deeply, getting ready to yell to whoever could hear, only for fire to immediately erupt inside my lungs and send me into a rancorous coughing fit. Oh gods why?! I yelled inside my own head. Coughing only made more fire in my lungs which made me cough which made more fire which… yes, another fucking cycle of fucking pain. But hey! At least I was making noise… terrible, painful, loud noise.

Success! My plan worked! After about two minutes of straight coughing and the EKG having a seizure, it suddenly stopped. It just died down and my breathing evened out and the heart monitor’s beeping slowly evened out. My chest was still on fire, though.

That was just plain insane! I get why I started coughing, but why the hell did it stop? (Not that I wasn’t grateful). Then I heard someone speak, “Woah! You’re okay; calm down, just calm down…” Someone was literally RIGHT next to me. Though they were speaking softly, they still scared the living daylights out of me.

Had I been able to move, I would have flinched, but being unable to do so I just kind of tensed while the EKG spiked again. Whoever was next to me took notice of this and tried to calm me down again. “It’s okay,” he cooed again, “It’s okay, you need to calm down, okay. You’re quite scraped up and you don’t want agitate any of your wounds now do ya?” he chuckled at his own “joke”. Did he seriously expect me answer that? After a short pause, he continued (apparently he did), “Are you still awake? I’m afraid I may have overdone it with the anesthesia…” he trailed off, mumbling to himself and I heard him fiddling with something. I’ve seen enough television hospital dramas to be able to be pretty sure that it was a drip that I was hooked up to.

I tried, once again, to make a noise. Not one nearly as loud this time, so I didn’t need to inhale enough to make my lungs explode again. I wanted to say something along the lines of “yo” but it came out as a kind of pained squeak. Damn I sounded terrible. Regardless, it achieved what I wanted it to. The guy (I’m just going to say doctor, that’s much easier)… The doctor stopped fiddling with my fluid bag and addressed me again.

“Oh good!” he was still soft-spoken as hell, but less so now that he knew I was awake, I guess, “you’re awake!” Called it! “Now, do you know where you are?” Okay, I have to ask, are all hospitals like this? No, How do you feel? Would you like more pain killers? Would you like a pillow fluffing or mint, perhaps? Were doctors always this bluntly to-the-point? I’d never been in the hospital before so this was all new to me. You know what else was new? Not being able to talk.

I squeaked again. Damn that was embarrassing. Doc got the point that I couldn’t really speak for myself and conceded to the fact that, if anything, this was going to be a one-sided conversation. “Yes, well, you’re in the hospital. Manehatton General, to be exact. My names Soft Wing,” heh, ‘soft’, “and I’ve been the RN looking after you since you got here. You’ve been out for about…” he made some ‘tch’ noises like he was counting “uh, about a week and this is the first you’ve been awake so I’m sure you’re glad to hear that we can officially get you on your way to being fit as a fiddle!” He was suddenly upbeat and kind of annoying. This guy was proactive if nothing.

WAITACOTTONPICKINGMINUTE! When the hell did I get to New York?! That scared me. How was that even possible?! The EKG showed what I was feeling by speeding up. “Woah there, I really need you to stay calm! If I give you any more sedatives I’m not sure how long it’ll be before you wake up again. You’re in a hospital, you’re okay, okay?”

No! Not okay! I thought, What, did my car roll half way across the country? If it did, then seriously, how the fuck am I alive? I tried to calm down, regardless. Maybe it was the drugs he’d undoubtedly given me. Hell, I thought I saw a gryphon earlier, why not hear crazy shit when both wrecked and drugged? Whatever, he was right, I needed to get better and figure out how to pay for this. Thank the lord it was still winter break. That means I had one more week before classes started back up, but I’d still have to pay for a wrecked car, probably a tow, all the bullshit that are hospital bills (my mom was once sent to the ER with a broken wrist; they literally bill you for everything), my insurance going up… Oh shit! What If they drop me?! This was my fault after all! And then any prescriptions and, gods forbid, physical therapy. Maybe I cracked my skull and was eligible for disability. Wait, no, you have to have a job for that don’t you.

I was lost in my thoughts and didn’t notice the doc… I mean RN leave and come back until he spoke up again. “Okay, you want to try an open your eyes since you’re awake?” …I squeaked “I have some eye drops here, they should help you. I’m going to put them on now, okay?” I wanted to flinch at the freezing liquid he then proceeded to drop on my eye. It soaked in between the lids of my right eye. “Okay, it should be easier to open you eye now. Don’t worry, It’s not very bright.” Why didn’t he put it in both eyes? I thought before trying to do so.

It was significantly easier to do so this time around. I cracked my eye open and it didn’t feel like I’d just been jabbed by a toothpick. What I saw didn’t really surprise me (at first). It seemed to be the stereotypical hospital room: bulky bed with guard rails, bulky machinery with various fluxuating neon lines, a bag of clear fluid and one of blood with tubes going into my hand, gryphon standing over me. …wait a minute…

2 possible thoughts here: 1- blood loss has permanently brain-damaged me and I’ll be cursed to live out the rest of my days in my own personal acid tip, or 2- the world went over the deep-end into uncanny valley in the time it took me to roll my GrandAm. Either way, I somehow wasn’t all that worried. It was kind of cool. He was oddly life-like despite being a an anime-esque mythological creature.

Leaning on the edge of my bed was who I assumed to by my RN. His head and chest were covered in dull gray feathers with the ones on the top of his head being oddly long and droopy. The droopy feathers were tipped with a Paris green color along with the feathers around his eyes, which were amber. The most obvious thing about this gryphon though was his protruding beak. It was, of course, a beak. So cool! I thought But I gotta be cool… There’s a huge chance I’m just tripping the fuck out and he’s actually normal. Play it cool…

He was looking concernedly down at me as his eyes met my cycloptic gaze. Definitely weird having an anime bird-lion stare at you. “So…Can you see okay?” I was about to reply (squeak) before he gasped and dug around for something in the pocket of a lab coat I’d failed to notice him wearing. He pulled out what looked like a pen, “Ah! Okay, I want you to follow this with you eye,” he clicked on the pen and it shined a light out of one end. Positioning the light pen above my face, he began to move it back and forth with his hand… wait… talon, yellow talon.

I followed the light but only because I was fascinated with the fact that my psyche was capable of creating such an elaborate trip. After a few passes in front of my eyes RN Softie clicked the light off and replaced in his pocket. “You’re doing really great for having just woken up,” he laughed a bit, “Now, I don’t want to overload you, but if you’re feeling up to it, we could try some more to get you up an at it.” I actually was feeling better. Still sore but I was wide awake and definitely didn’t want to be bored, so why not? I tried nodding and got minimal success. At least I wasn’t just ambiguously squeaking anymore. Softie’s eyes lit up and a smile spread across his beak (…what?) “That’s great news, I’ll get some water and maybe you can try talking, okay?” He turned around to the sink in the room and filled a cup. Turning back to face me, he slowly put the cup up to my lips and tilted it slightly. Sweet bejeebus that felt amazing!

The ice cold water rehydrated my mouth and throat, which I hadn’t even noticed were so dry. I was positively parched. Before I knew it, I’d downed the whole glass. “There you go,” he set the empty glass on the table next to my bed. His smile didn’t falter as he continued looking at me with bright eyes.

After a very pregnant pause, I finally said something, “…You’re starting to creep me out, dude.” My voice sounded terrible, but at least I wasn’t squeaking anymore. I sounded like I’d been gargling nails for the past week. Eh, words were words.

Softie’s grin got even bigger if that was possible, “This is absolutely splendid! Okay, I think we’ve done enough for one night. You should probably get some rest,” Rest?! I thought, Didn’t I just wake up like five minutes ago? Thinking about it though, I was actually tired. Damn, when did that happen?

“Yeah,” I scratched out an agreement.

“I’ll leave you to do that then, okay?” He nodded, backing out of the room, “I’ll see you when you wake up then,” and he was gone.

I could just barely see into the hallway, as the door was barely cracked. There wasn’t much to look at; just the wall of the hallway, but there was some dim light filtering in. I was tired but curious. I was beat up pretty bad, so I didn’t think I should have felt as well as I did after only one week.

Since I was lying flat on my back, I had to crane my neck up pretty far to see anything. Surprisingly, I found myself unable to do so. I could just barely move my chin. I settled on using my elbows to push myself back onto some pillows. Thank the gods that Softie gave me whatever it was that he gave me earlier, because I was numb as fuck. That probably would have hurt immensely had I not been so drugged up. I’d no doubt feel the full repercussions of doing so as soon as the drugs wore off, though. Oh well, Carpe Diem!

Now that I was at a slight incline, I could see a little more of myself, and oh boy was I messed up. From head to toe I was patched up in one way or another. Because I couldn’t see so myself, I assumed my head was wrapped up, including my left eye, which explained why I couldn’t see out of it. My neck was most likely in a brace, but again, I couldn’t see. My left arm was wrapped heavily from the elbow down. I couldn’t even see any of my fingers! The right side fared better. It seemed to be mostly okay with only a splint on my ring finger; it was also the hand the i.v.’s were hooked up to. Looking straight down at my chest made my breath catch. I was wrapped several times around my chest in gauze and above my left lung completely black. In the low light, it looked black, but it was obviously dried blood. Holy fuck! What happened?! It didn’t matter though, obviously, whatever it was, was better now. I’m in a hospital for gods’ sake! I forced my breath to be even so I wouldn’t go into another coughing fit at the sight of the source of said fits. Very pointedly, I moved on to my legs. They seemed okay for the most part; only my left calf and foot had a hard cast on. Ooh! Lime green! Finally: my tail. From what I could tell, over half of it was broken. It was wrapped in not quite a hard cast but more than just gauze and splinted. All in all, considering what happened, I was looking pretty good!

...Wait a minute… Tail… I’m not supposed to have a tail. Any thoughts of my acid trip-like perception twisting what I saw were thrown out the window as soon as I nudged the new limb with my knee, instantly sending what felt like a bolt of lightning shooting up my spine. Okay, I thought, not an acid trip.

I couldn’t believe it! This was insane: I had a tail and my nurse was a gryphon! How does something like this happen, I wondered. Then I noticed something more about myself. In addition to the tail, it seemed all my limbs had been swapped out: my legs for a green dragon and brown goat’s (I think), my arms for a lion and gryphon’s (Hey, something in common with Softie!), my torso was dark brown, and my tail red and scaly with a plume of white feathers at then.

Maybe it was the drugs, but I wasn’t freaked out at all. It certainly was interesting, but not scary at all. I am always down for an adventure and whatever happened to me sure as hell seemed more interesting than the boring life I had for sure.

I was now extremely tired from each baby heart attack I got upon initially noticing all of my limbs had been changed. I eased myself back to where I was lying flat and comfortable and closed my eyes with a dopy smile spread across my lips. As content and tired as I was, I couldn’t help but notice a nagging thought in the back of my mind, and just as I finally slipped into the dreamworld, I finally realized what that thought was.

It was actually two thoughts. The first was that I was in Equestria, no-doubt. The wonderful, magical, Utopian world from a children’s show that I had been known to watch on the weekend and secretly fantasized about raising hell in for years (What? They’re so sheltered in that show it’d be fun to mess with them!). And the second was that I was in Equestria… and looked like a female version of one of the main villains. As cool and hilarious as I thought Discord was, he was still considered a dangerous criminal, and here I was looking like he was my father. This is probably going to bite me in the ass later… And then I was out.