How Santa Christ Saved Hearth's Warming Dayby Captain LChaptersBecause Names Are HardS.O.M.B.R.A.I'm Allowed to Kill Characters, Right?CAT!!!Because Names Are HardIt was December 24th, better known as Christmas Eve. People were at their Christmas masses at church, there were parties around the globe, and families were putting out milk and cookies for everyone’s favorite Christmas icon, Santa Claus. During the night, he was going to come and deliver presents to people all around the world, so long as there was Christmas spirit. It was the same as Christmas Eve in any other year. But, the story I’m about to tell you is a little different. For you see, Santa Claus is not real. Shocking, I know. And to tell the truth, neither is the religious icon Jesus Christ. Neither of them are real in the senses that we know them. They are actually one man, one man who is the Son of God, died for everyone’s sins (along with his brother, Optimus), and now delivers gifts to the world. His name is Santa Christ. Santa Christ is a jolly fellow, a real good guy. He helps everyone, fights off monsters, and saves puppies from fires. He’s resolved a feud between the citizens of a micronation, and saved one very angry man from the torment of a horrible holiday special. And his diabetes. Overall, he’s just been one of the greatest things to ever exist. However, since his world rarely faces terrible threats that require his intervention, his life has mostly been the same for the past 2000 years. He’s always been there for the people, and enjoyed what he does. But the story I have for you is one where he has to embark on an adventure unlike anything he’s ever faced. One year, not so long ago, Hearth’s Warming Day almost didn’t happen. Evil forces were conspiring to ruin this most special of all holidays. This is the story of How Santa Christ Saved Hearth’s Warming Day. As I said at the beginning of the story, it was Christmas Eve. All the kids’ presents were packed and ready to be sent all around the world in one night, just as it had always been done. Santa Christ was ready to do what he always did, every single year. Not that he was feeling any sort of monotony, of course not. The joy that he gave everyone made it all worth it. So, moving on, he was ready to begin his world-round trip of the year. He hopped into his Corvette, which was known to alien conspiracy theorists as the “Car in Space”, to start his routine. However, when he started it up, something was wrong. The engine began emitting a purple smoke, and the car was engulfed in a flash of light, disappearing. It reappeared in the middle of a snowy field, where a storm was taking place. Santa Christ, assuming that he was in the North Pole, attempted to start the car. When it wouldn’t, he began to investigate. According to the dashboard, it was out of gas. “Darn thing always runs out at the worst moments. I only use it once a year, how does this happen?” Even in mild irritation, his voice was still the most pleasant thing you would ever hear. So he began to walk in the direction his house would be, to get the spare gas. The storm was picking up, and the snowfall was getting heavier. In the limited visibility, Santa Christ could see lights in the distance. Approaching them, the structure was unfamiliar to him. A giant bubble encased an empire made entirely of crystal. “Oh, what have we here?” The bubble, intended to keep intruders out, had no effect on Santa Christ. He simply walked through, admiring the buildings. “Whoever built these was very talented! I’ll have to give them a special present! Hohohoho!” His joyous laugh was enough to warm even the coldest of hearts. But it was not enough to comfort the Crystal Ponies, hiding in terror. Santa Christ could tell the ponies were hiding, and decided not to bother them. He understood what shy people were like, and knew it wasn’t a good idea to attempt to have them open up. He instead continued towards the castle, intending to figure out where he was, how to get back, and generally just spread Christmas spirit. He made his way to the throne room, not facing any guards, as the shield surrounding the city was the only real defense force. Sitting on the two thrones were two more ponies, a pink female unicorn with horns, and a white male unicorn. Santa Christ, still the nice guy, was ever so jolly about meeting them. “Well hello there, what are your names?” The pink one shrieked and cowered. “What are you? How did you get in here?” Her companion, the white unicorn, reached over to comfort her. “Don’t worry, Cadence. Twiley told me about these once from a book she read. They’re called humans, and they’re harmless. Mostly harmless, from what she said.” He turned to Santa Christ. “So who are you, and how did you get in?” “Why, I’m Santa Christ! I spread joy and Christmas cheer throughout the world! But it appears that I’ve gotten stuck here, and tonight’s Christmas Eve. So, I’m going to need to get back to my world, so I can make the children happy! But, you still haven’t told me your names,” he said, waggling a finger. The white unicorn answered. “I’m Shining Armor, and this is my wife, Cadence. We rule over the Crystal Empire, the city that surrounds this castle. It’s a little small for an empire, but it works.” Santa Christ laughed. “Nonsense! The size of the nation doesn’t matter! Molossia was a pretty small nation, but its president made it work! And I’m sure you’re doing just as well.” Cadence began whispering to her husband. “Shiny, I don’t think we should trust him. He just walked through our protective shield, and into our throne room. Don’t you think he could be just a little dangerous?” “Cadence, I see no reason to worry. I mean, look at him. I see absolutely no evil anywhere in him. He is incapable of wrongdoing. And you know what it means if he wasn’t stopped by the shield? It confirms it, he’s pure good!” Shining Armor had a moment of realization. He turned back to Santa Christ. “Santa Christ, you said you spread Christmas joy, didn’t you?” “Why, of course I do! It’s what I do best! The world would be lost without me!” “Then, I think we might need your help. Us ponies celebrate a different holiday, known as Hearth’s Warming Day. My sister tells me your Christmas is nearly identical. Well, this year, it’s facing a problem. A previous foe of ours, King Sombra, has returned, and plans to spread his evil by ruining this holiday. He has some sort of mysterious accomplice, and we can’t face him. He’s grown too strong. You could be the only one who could help us, Santa Christ. Will you do it?” Shining Armor gave his best puppy dog eyes, a trick he learned from Twilight back when she was a little filly. Santa Christ began to think. “Tonight is Christmas Eve, so I’m awfully busy. The children would be so disappointed if they didn’t get their presents on time. But then again, my schedule is considerably looser now that that Critic quit. I think I should be able to help.” Shining Armor rubbed his hooves together. “Excellent! You’ll be meeting with my sister down in Ponyville. She and her friends are head of the Sombra Strike Team. I’m sure you’ll be a valuable asset to the cause. Now, since there’s no time for you to take the train, we’ll just teleport you there.” “But wait! Before you do, my ride is in the middle of the snow out there. Would you mind bringing it to safety?” “You have nothing to worry about.” Shining Armor began building up his magic, joined by Cadence. The two of them engulfed Santa Christ in it, blinking him to Ponyville. “I only hope he succeeds, or else Hearth’s Warming Day is doomed.” Atop a mountain outside of Ponyville, a shadowy king was talking. “I thank you once again for ressurecting me. I will be able to exact my revenge, and take what the ponies find most sacred. Our plan shall go through tonight, and this dreadful holiday shall be ours! Are you ready?” His accomplice was leaning on the edge of the cave wall, twirling his gun in his gloved hand. “Let’s do it,” said the very angry nerd. S.O.M.B.R.A.In a flash of light, Santa Christ was now in the center of Ponyville. Snow was falling from the night sky, and an absence of street lamps meant that only the white of the snowflakes stood out in the darkness. The citizens of the town all seemed blissfully unaware of the enemy that was threatening the holiday. All of them were enjoying the festivities in a way that only pure Christmas spirit would allow. Each pony was bundled up tightly to keep themselves warm, with hats and boots. Even the most exposed pony in the crowd was still wearing a yellow scarf. Of course, all of this changed when they noticed the human in their mist. Once they were aware of this fact, they ran in terror, hiding in their homes. Except for one purple unicorn and her little dragon, who was approaching Santa Christ. “You must be Santa Christ. I’m Twilight Sparkle, and this is Spike. My brother sent a note that you would be coming our way. Come, let’s go back to the library. My friends are already there, and we’re ready to counter strike against Sombra.” The two of them started walking, and Santa Christ noticed how attentive Twilight was. “You seem very organized. A very good trait to have, especially when you need to keep tabs on everyone in the world.” Spike stood up on Twilight’s back. “You have no idea. It’s good to be organized, but she borders on obsessive. No wait, ‘borders’ is the wrong word. ‘Off the deep end’ is more fitting. And she makes me do all the writing for her.” “Spike, your writing is so much better than mine. And without being my personal scribe, what other number one assistant duties would you have? You’d just be my mail department.” Spike crossed his arms. “Well, at least I’d be able to get a job with Derpy. I could get some delicious muffins out of that deal.” While the two of them were bickering, the library came into sight. Twilight used her magic to open the door, and the three of them were out of the snowfall. Santa Christ noticed the five other ponies sitting in the main room of the library. Twilight walked in front of him, and introduced them. “Girls, this is Santa Christ. He’s the one my brother sent to help us stop Sombra. Santa Christ, these are my friends. Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity. Together, we are the Elements of Harmony, Equestria’s heroes.” All the ponies came up to introduce themselves individually, except for Fluttershy, who was still sitting in the same spot, stunned. Once formalities were out of the way, Twilight turned to Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow, did you come up with any attack plans while I was out?” Applejack answered instead. “No, she didn’t. She spent the whole time complaining about how complicated you were making this. She just kept suggesting that we just shoot him.” Rainbow threw her hooves up in the air. “Well, it’s a good idea! Think about how much easier our previous fights would be if we just took that approach. Discord? Boom. Changelings? Boom. Plus, Sombra is a well established wimp.” Twilight seemed to take offense to that. “You think the king that terrorized the Crystal Empire is a wimp? Do you remember how much trouble he caused for us? And if Shining Armor couldn’t beat him, then what does that make him?” “Yeah yeah, he scared some ponies. But all he did was stand there and hiss at us. Maybe I’m alone on this, but I don’t find hissing scary. And all we did to beat him was use the power of love. Seriously, what kind of lame power is ‘heart’, anyway?” When the other ponies nodded in agreement, Twilight just backed down from the argument. “Alright, so maybe he didn’t cause as much trouble as Discord did, but you forgot something important. He has a helper this time, one we don’t know anything about. It could easily be a quick fight if we prepare wrong. The only thing we know is that they’ve reportedly been hiding in the mountain outside of town.” Spike stood up and held a hand in the air. “Dragon Mountain!” Twilight turned to him. “No, for the last time Spike, we’re not calling it Dragon Mountain!” Spike crossed his arms again. “Come on, it’s where that dragon that almost covered us in smoke was! It’s where I went on my rampage! The only relevance it’s had on any of our lives was when it had a dragon on it!” “Well, we’re not the Mountain Naming Committee, it’s not our job to assign nomenclature to the mountains.” Pinkie Pie jumped into the conversation. As in, jumped halfway across the room to be in the conversation. “Is there an actual committee for naming mountains? That could be fun! I’d give them all funny names, like ‘Gumdrop Mountain’!” Twilight let out an exasperated sigh. “Pinkie, I was making a joke.” Pinkie’s hyper excitement died down. “Oh. Well, it wasn’t a funny joke.” She walked back to her previous spot. Twilight was quiet for a few seconds, waiting to see if anypony else would interrupt. When she had their attention, she continued. “So, as I was saying, they’re in the mountain. We need to go up there and find them. We don’t have the Crystal Heart, so we’ll have to see if the Elements of Harmony will do the trick. Any objections?” All the ponies shook their heads. Applejack then remembered that Santa Christ was there. “You alright, sugarcube? You haven’t said a word.” “Nothing to worry about, Applejack. I was expecting some plan about spreading cheer to remind the ponies what the holiday is truly about. It’s been the subject of so many Christmas movies that I jumped to a conclusion.” Rainbow Dash stuck her tongue out. “Ugh! That sounds boring! But an actual physical fight, doesn’t that sound more fun?” Santa Christ was still happy about the plan. “But of course! There’s always enjoyment in just taking the direct approach. I can guess that’s what you always like to do, Rainbow Dash.” “Well, obviously. Thinking things out is for eggheads. No offense, Twilight.” Twilight looked angry, indicating that she did take offense. “So I say we get out there, and just finish this now! We’re on a time limit, remember?” Twilight sighed again. “Well, yes. We need to save Hearth’s Warming Day before midnight, or else it will be too late. And considering it will probably take around two hours to get up the mountain, that leaves an hour to foil their schemes. So we probably should get moving. Are we all ready?” Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash all indicated their approval by putting their front legs in the air and cheering, while Fluttershy just squeaked out a yes. Santa Christ opened the door. “So let’s get going, this holiday must be saved!” All eight of them began to walk out, before Twilight stopped Spike. “Spike, you need to stay here. Watch over the house.” Spike, who had learned not to argue with the most talented unicorn in Equestria, accepted his job reluctantly. Once he was firmly back inside, the group of seven made their way to the mountain. Up on the mountaintop, King Sombra was looking down on Ponyville. “What a pathetic group. Taking out this holiday will show them who’s in charge, and how worthless their ideals are.” He turned to the human that was standing next to him. “I am very glad you see correctly, Nerd. Your immense knowledge and pure rage will be a valuable asset.” He held up his right hand, covered by a glove. “Alright, first off, I’m not ‘The Nerd’. I’m the (bleep) Nerd.” He stopped when he realized he had been censored. “(Censored)…hole? (Inappropriate). Why can’t I swear?” Sombra only scoffed. “Such language. It has no acceptance in this world, and laws of nature prevent you from saying these words.” The Nerd got angry. “(Nope). Even if I can’t swear, I can still knock those ponies down, and that should be enough. They’re just so (naughty) happy all the time, it (can’t be written) me off!” Sombra laughed. “You truly are the perfect man for the job, Nerd. We shall make a great team, one that will be revered throughout the ages, under my rule!” The Nerd put the scope on his headgear over his eye, and reached behind his cape to pull out his much larger gun, this one more shaped like a bazooka. “Let’s rock and roll.” I'm Allowed to Kill Characters, Right?Santa Christ and the ponies were walking up the path leading up the mountain, ready to face what would most likely be their greatest challenge yet. Not to Santa Christ, though. He had done battle with some of the biggest threats imaginable, so many that fighting ordinary monsters like sissy Ghidorah was his favorite hobby. On an unrelated note, Tokyo had become a great vacation spot. The snowfall was obscuring vision up the mountain, making just walking difficult. All of them were sure to be quiet, as the buildup of snow made an avalanche a distinct possibility. All of the ponies were wearing proper clothing to keep themselves warm. Most notably, Rarity was wearing a multitude of scarves and a giant hat. However, none of them were equipped for a battle, aside from the Elemental Necklaces they wore. And Rainbow Dash was wearing the outfit Rarity had made following her directions. Even after the group had new dresses, Rainbow had kept hers, and began referring to it as the ‘Rainbow Armor’. This was the first time she had worn it outside her home, indicating her seriousness on the matter. After an hour of walking in silence, the group reached the top of the mountain, with limited time to save Hearth’s Warming Day. The mouth to a giant cave stood in front of them, where a dragon had previously been taking its nap. The hoard of gold and jewels was still sitting on the cave floor, much to Rarity’s never ending excitement. She had been cursing herself every day for not taking at least some of the hoard, for decoration and dressmaking. Eager to take what she considered to be rightfully hers, Rarity charged into the cave against the warnings from the rest of the group. Once she had fully entered the cave, thick shadows separated her, and a pair of piercing red eyes seemed to stare at each of them. A deep, rumbling laugh erupted from the back of the cave, and the shadows materialized into their normal pony shape. The five ponies that remained outside all instantly recognized the Lord of Shadow that stood in front of them. “Sombra!” Sombra laughed. “I’m impressed that you made it up this far! I fully expected you to fall off the mountain or something!” When he noticed the blank stares he was receiving, he clarified. “You know, because you’re so incompetent and stupid. That’s what I was inferring.” He wasn’t very good at the whole being evil thing. It took him too long before he noticed that they had Santa Christ in their midst. “And who do we have here? Another human? Perhaps you’d be willing to join my side as well.” “Do you take me for some kind of fool? You really think I would join you, Sombra? These nice ponies have told me all about your evil plans, and I won’t stand for anyone who tries to ruin a holiday as jolly as this.” “So you aren’t as smart as I had expected. No matter, I have a very powerful ally on my side.” He turned his head and called back into the cave. “You may come out now.” The Nerd stepped out of the cave, holding Rarity at Zapperpoint. He was fully decked out in his standard battle gear, with the aforementioned Zapper, a Power Glove on his right hand, LaserScope on his head, and a Power Pad cape concealing a Super Scope strapped to his back. “Hello, ponies. I’m the (lol nope) Nerd, and I’ve had it with your cheerful attitudes. This should put you in your places.” Santa Christ was surprised to see the Nerd. But then he remembered that the Nerd was one of a few people who had spent the entire lives on his naughty list, and that did not bode well for them. “You know Nerd, this isn’t what you want to do. Do you understand what happens to people on my naughty list? I’ll give you a hint: it doesn’t end well for you. If you walk away now, I’ll have no reason to harm you.” The Nerd scoffed. “No. I’ve put up with these ponies and their obnoxious personalities. I can’t stand their whole ‘magic of friendship’ thing, and I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to put a stop to it.” Rarity began to tear up. “You don’t like us? But why not? Aren’t we adorable? Aren’t we fabulous? How could anyone with a soul hate us like this?” She cried, all part of an act. The Nerd got annoyed and threw her back to the other ponies, where she landed on the ground and struggled to stand again. As she stood up, she noticed her fashionable hair had been messed up. Everyone else standing swore they saw her pupils catch fire, and she got mad. “You monster! Do you have any idea what you have just done? My amazing mane, ruined! You’ll pay for this!” The Nerd took a step back. “What happened, did you just get possessed or something? First Mario 3, now this? Why does Satan hate me so much?” Santa Christ pointed a finger. “I can also tell you that God isn’t too fond of you either. So once I’m finished with you, you’ll be spending the rest of your existence in purgatory.” Sombra smiled. “This party’s getting crazy! Let’s rock!” He noticed the blank stares he was getting again. “It’s a line I heard from something. Sounded cool.” Their expressions didn’t change. “Alright then, let’s just get to the fight.” Both parties charged towards each other, kicking up the snow beneath their feet or hooves. Snow hanging in the air made it hard to see, but a large battle still commenced. Magic and confetti began firing in every direction, none of the shots hitting targets. Santa Christ grappled with the Nerd, both surprisingly close in strength. Sombra just stood on the sidelines, eager to try a new move he had learned. Attempting to find the King, Rainbow Dash slid out of the cloud of snow, and Sombra was ready. His horn charged with magic, and his body melted into a shadow onto the ground, sliding towards Rainbow’s own shadow. Once the two connected, Sombra materialized again, and Rainbow found herself unable to move. Smiling, Sombra moved parts of his own body, and Rainbow unwilling copied them. She was angry and a little scared. “Wh-what are you doing?” “Just a little move I learned called the Shadow Possession Jutsu. Only I could pull off something like this. Feel my wrath!” The Nerd saw he had an opening, and pushed Santa Christ to the ground. He pulled out his Zapper, and shot at the immobilized Rainbow Dash. But the shot was intercepted by a snowball thrown by a suitably angry Fluttershy. She was bouncing another snowball, throwing it at Sombra’s face. It distracted it long enough for Rainbow to break free. Seeing that conventional fighting tactics weren’t working, the ponies regrouped. Twilight, always the head of the team, spoke for them. “Alright Sombra and Nerd, you’ve been stronger opponents then we expected. We’re going to have to pull out the biggest guns we have.” All six pairs of eyes started to glow as they began to float in the air, and their necklaces also began to glow with power. A giant rainbow shot out from their bodies, arching high in the sky and coming back down to hit Sombra head on. Once the light had cleared, all of the good guy group fully expected the fight to be over. But fate was not on their side. Sombra still stood, unharmed. He laughed. “You thought your pathetic Elements could stop me? My shadow is too strong to be brightened by your light! I am not some everyday darkness, I am Advanced Darkness! You cannot kill me!” The Nerd, standing behind Sombra, put the end of his Zapper on the side of Sombra’s head. “Maybe they can’t kill you, but I can!” He pulled the trigger, and everyone else looked away. When they opened their eyes again, Sombra was laying on the ground. He looked up at the Nerd. “Why? Why would you do this? We were a perfect team, and you just killed me.” His eyes closed, and his head laid in the snow. The Nerd smiled. “You were resurrected once, I’m sure you’ll come back again.” He looked to the shocked ponies. “Oh, what’s wrong? Was this just too violent for your happy little world? You want to know how I brought him back? With this!” He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a red-gem necklace of his own. Twilight was quick to recognize it. “The Alicorn Amulet! How did you get it?” “For all you know, a gremlin gave it to me. It really doesn’t matter, because I can do this!” He clutched the amulet hard, and everyone there assumed he was putting it on. They were once again surprised when he opened his fist, and the amulet was broken, aside from the perfectly intact gem. He threw the remains on the ground, and placed the gem on his Power Glove and closed his eyes. When they opened again, they were glowing, and his glove started glowing with magical energy. A quick flick of his hand, like he was swatting a fly, sent the ponies and Santa Christ flying off the mountain back to Ponyville, and holding out his hand stopped their descent and dropped them softly onto the streets. His voice echoed all throughout Equestria. “Hear this, ponies! Your lives of pure happiness are over! I’m in control now, and I’ve got the strength to prove it! Any of you want to challenge me, come right ahead. You’re just guaranteeing your own deaths. You will all feel the pain and suffering I’ve endured while you just lived your carefree lives, never feeling retribution or endangerment! My word is absolute! My orders are final! And your lives, your happiness, everything that defines you is mine!” CAT!!!Equestria was in chaos. Giant bunnies were terrorizing ponies, lions were being annoying, and pegasi were being forced to endlessly fly through rings. Away from all the danger, the Elements of Harmony and Santa Christ were all in Twilight Sparkle’s library, attempting to find a way to stop the Nerd’s reign of power. Twilight was frantically searching through a book, which listed descriptions on many magical artifacts. She was looking on the page for the Alicorn Amulet, unable to make any sort of conclusion on removal if the necklace part was destroyed. She threw the book into the air in frustration. “Ugh! It’s useless! I can’t find anything to help us!” Pinkie Pie got very sad. “So, that means Hearth’s Warming Day is gone?” Rainbow Dash got up into Pinkie’s face. “Think, Pinkie! It’s not just Hearth’s Warming Day! This Nerd went above and beyond his original plan! He’s going to completely ruin every day of the year!” Upon hearing this news, Pinkie began to cry. Santa Christ went to comfort Pinkie. He looked over at Twilight. “Excuse me, Twilight, but what is this Alicorn Amulet?” “The Alicorn Amulet is an ancient artifact. The legends say that it was crafted by an olden tribe, in the form of their gods. It enhances a unicorn’s magical ability, originally intended to help with their difficult daily lives. But it corrupts the hearts of whoever uses it, and they began using it for hexing rituals. Eventually, it had to be sealed away for being too dangerous. The first time we saw it, it was being used by a rival of mine for revenge. How the Nerd got a hold of it, I don’t know.” Santa Christ stroked his magnificent beard in thought. “So it’s a gem that enhances magical ability…I know exactly what the Nerd is using it for. He’s using it as a homemade Malachite’s Hand.” When he saw that all of the ponies and Spike were confused, he explained. “Malachite’s Hand is a gauntlet crafted by the medieval sorcerer, Malachite. He created a jewel to place on the gauntlet that granted him unlimited magical power. It was lost to time until summer last year, when a group of adventurers discovered it and faced Malachite one last time. Since then, the original was destroyed. The Nerd saw a chance to make one for himself and conquer your world.” “So what’re we waitin’ for,” Applejack asked. “Let’s go find him, and take him down!” Santa Christ shook his head. “I’m afraid that if he has magic that strong, none of you will be able to take him on head to head. I’ll have to take him on alone.” A voice called out from behind them. “No, you won’t.” Everyone in the room turned towards the doorway, to see three alicorns standing there. While Santa Christ only recognized one of them, the rest knew all three, and Twilight called out. “Celestia! Luna! Cadence!” Cadence jumped forward, and began to do her dance with Twilight. “Sunshine, sunshine…” Luna interrupted them. “Now is most certainly not the time for this. I believe we have far more important matters to attend to?” Celestia nodded. “That’s right. You two will have to meet up when this problem is solved, when the fate of Equestria isn’t hanging in the balance. So, as I was saying, you don’t have to do this alone, Santa Christ. As alicorns ourselves, we possess magical abilities beyond any normal unicorn. I think that between the four of us, we should be able to put up a worthy fight against the Nerd.” Santa Christ smiled, knowing that these ponies knew the true meaning of Christmas, standing by each other’s sides and keeping them safe. “Well then, let’s not waste any time. Let’s show that Nerd the forces he’s awakened!” The three alicorns teleported themselves and Santa Christ out of the library, going to the fight they planned to finish. The Nerd smiled. “So, you’ve come back for round 2?” He turned back at the new group that was facing him. “I understand that you ponies are all idiots, but this takes it to a whole new level. Do you understand the ultimate power I have in my hand? I could squash you like the bugs you are.” Cadence corrected him. “That’s the Changelings you’re thinking of. Normal ponies like us are not related to bugs in any sort of way. But don’t go around thinking that we’re normal ponies!” The Nerd stopped, his brain halted by what Cadence had just said. He hit himself in the head to get back into a working state of mind, hurting himself in the confusion. “So, anyways…” He got back into his menacing voice. “It’s high time you all lost the (haha no) happiness and love that you cherished so much! ONCE I GET RID OF THE (calm down) CENSORSHIP!” Cadence used her love magic on the Nerd to bring out the good in his heart. The visual representation of her magic, a cartoon heart, came out of her horn and flew towards the Nerd. Mildly annoyed, he grabbed it and crushed it in his fist. “Were you really too stupid to guess? I’ve got no good in my heart!” “That’s not true,” Santa Christ said. “Even in the way you’ve done it, everything you’ve done has been for the benefit of humans everywhere. You’ve gotten angry to protect others from the games that made you rage so much. Don’t you remember what happened when ROB attacked the world?” “I didn’t do that to protect anyone, I had my own score to settle with that robot. You all just got lucky. I’m done listening to what you have to say, it’s time to finish this.” He pulled his arms off to this side, and thrust his palms forward together. “Hadouken!” A blue fireball shot out, hitting Santa Christ. He fell to the ground, stunned, forced to watch the battle. Luna yelled out, “Charge!” The three alicorns all ran towards the Nerd, each using their different magical abilities to fight. However, none of them were able to stand up to the raw power they were against. Even when Luna created a miniature black hole, he just froze it with concrete. As the fight commenced, the alicorns’ fight began seeming increasingly hopeless. The Nerd was countering and reversing any attack he was thrown, and forcing them back. He performed a ground pound move, stunning the three. Going in for finishing blows, he punched Celestia in the face, suplexed Luna, and grabbed Cadence by the throat, choking her. Santa Christ, still on the ground, knew he was all the hope that was left. He stood up, and, without saying a word, reached into his robes and pulled out his gun. The Nerd jumped back in shock and threw Cadence at the other princesses. “Since when is Santa packing?” “The name is Santa Christ.” The Nerd pulled out his Zapper, and the two of them fired, shots colliding. The collision created more force than any of them had expected, tossing snow in the air. The Nerd waved his hand to clear the snow, just in time to see Santa Christ leaping forward, punching him in the gut. Stunned, The Nerd called out for his last hope to win. "Prepare to face the wrath of Super Mega Death Christ 2000..." He was interrupted by Santa Christ pulling the Power Glove off his hand, rendering him powerless. The Nerd knew that he had been beaten, and held his hands up in the air, surrendering. “Alright, you won. I won’t bother these ponies again, just bring me back to Earth.” Santa Christ put the Power Glove on, and waved his hand, sending out waves of colored light across the skies of all of Equestria. As every pony saw the lights, all of the troubles the Nerd had caused disappeared. Ponies began to cheer for the victory, not knowing who it was that saved them. The Nerd was handcuffed and his mouth was covered. Everypony in Ponyville was cheering for Santa Christ. He thanked the Elements of Harmony and the Princesses, bearing gifts for the good work they had done. Of all the ponies, Luna was most pleased about the present she received, a Sega Genesis. Using the Power Glove, Santa Christ opened a portal back to Earth. Fluttershy, in her first words to him, tried to get him to stay. “Do you really have to leave? The Hearth’s Warming Day celebrations are only a few hours away.” “I’m afraid so. All the time I’ve spent here means that I’m late to deliver the Christmas presents. I’ll have to miss Mr. T’s party, and I don’t want to miss out on his delicious pancakes.” Luna smiled. “I wouldn’t worry about that.” She fired a beam of magic into the portal. “There, your night should last for a few more hours now. It’s the least we could do for everything you’ve done for us.” “Thank you very much! But it’s time to depart. Come on, Nerd.” He pulled the Nerd into the portal, his voice becoming more distant as he traveled between dimensions. The last words they heard from him were “Happy Hearth’s Warming Day! Ho ho ho ho!” “And that’s how Santa Christ Saved Hearth’s Warming Day!” Twilight Sparkle finished her story, leaving three very confused Cutie Mark Crusaders attempting to process what they had just heard. Sitting next to them was Spike, who was looking very bored. He leaned over to the filly sitting next to him, Sweetie Belle, and whispered in her ear. “See? This is why we don’t let Twilight drink eggnog.”
Because Names Are HardIt was December 24th, better known as Christmas Eve. People were at their Christmas masses at church, there were parties around the globe, and families were putting out milk and cookies for everyone’s favorite Christmas icon, Santa Claus. During the night, he was going to come and deliver presents to people all around the world, so long as there was Christmas spirit. It was the same as Christmas Eve in any other year. But, the story I’m about to tell you is a little different. For you see, Santa Claus is not real. Shocking, I know. And to tell the truth, neither is the religious icon Jesus Christ. Neither of them are real in the senses that we know them. They are actually one man, one man who is the Son of God, died for everyone’s sins (along with his brother, Optimus), and now delivers gifts to the world. His name is Santa Christ. Santa Christ is a jolly fellow, a real good guy. He helps everyone, fights off monsters, and saves puppies from fires. He’s resolved a feud between the citizens of a micronation, and saved one very angry man from the torment of a horrible holiday special. And his diabetes. Overall, he’s just been one of the greatest things to ever exist. However, since his world rarely faces terrible threats that require his intervention, his life has mostly been the same for the past 2000 years. He’s always been there for the people, and enjoyed what he does. But the story I have for you is one where he has to embark on an adventure unlike anything he’s ever faced. One year, not so long ago, Hearth’s Warming Day almost didn’t happen. Evil forces were conspiring to ruin this most special of all holidays. This is the story of How Santa Christ Saved Hearth’s Warming Day. As I said at the beginning of the story, it was Christmas Eve. All the kids’ presents were packed and ready to be sent all around the world in one night, just as it had always been done. Santa Christ was ready to do what he always did, every single year. Not that he was feeling any sort of monotony, of course not. The joy that he gave everyone made it all worth it. So, moving on, he was ready to begin his world-round trip of the year. He hopped into his Corvette, which was known to alien conspiracy theorists as the “Car in Space”, to start his routine. However, when he started it up, something was wrong. The engine began emitting a purple smoke, and the car was engulfed in a flash of light, disappearing. It reappeared in the middle of a snowy field, where a storm was taking place. Santa Christ, assuming that he was in the North Pole, attempted to start the car. When it wouldn’t, he began to investigate. According to the dashboard, it was out of gas. “Darn thing always runs out at the worst moments. I only use it once a year, how does this happen?” Even in mild irritation, his voice was still the most pleasant thing you would ever hear. So he began to walk in the direction his house would be, to get the spare gas. The storm was picking up, and the snowfall was getting heavier. In the limited visibility, Santa Christ could see lights in the distance. Approaching them, the structure was unfamiliar to him. A giant bubble encased an empire made entirely of crystal. “Oh, what have we here?” The bubble, intended to keep intruders out, had no effect on Santa Christ. He simply walked through, admiring the buildings. “Whoever built these was very talented! I’ll have to give them a special present! Hohohoho!” His joyous laugh was enough to warm even the coldest of hearts. But it was not enough to comfort the Crystal Ponies, hiding in terror. Santa Christ could tell the ponies were hiding, and decided not to bother them. He understood what shy people were like, and knew it wasn’t a good idea to attempt to have them open up. He instead continued towards the castle, intending to figure out where he was, how to get back, and generally just spread Christmas spirit. He made his way to the throne room, not facing any guards, as the shield surrounding the city was the only real defense force. Sitting on the two thrones were two more ponies, a pink female unicorn with horns, and a white male unicorn. Santa Christ, still the nice guy, was ever so jolly about meeting them. “Well hello there, what are your names?” The pink one shrieked and cowered. “What are you? How did you get in here?” Her companion, the white unicorn, reached over to comfort her. “Don’t worry, Cadence. Twiley told me about these once from a book she read. They’re called humans, and they’re harmless. Mostly harmless, from what she said.” He turned to Santa Christ. “So who are you, and how did you get in?” “Why, I’m Santa Christ! I spread joy and Christmas cheer throughout the world! But it appears that I’ve gotten stuck here, and tonight’s Christmas Eve. So, I’m going to need to get back to my world, so I can make the children happy! But, you still haven’t told me your names,” he said, waggling a finger. The white unicorn answered. “I’m Shining Armor, and this is my wife, Cadence. We rule over the Crystal Empire, the city that surrounds this castle. It’s a little small for an empire, but it works.” Santa Christ laughed. “Nonsense! The size of the nation doesn’t matter! Molossia was a pretty small nation, but its president made it work! And I’m sure you’re doing just as well.” Cadence began whispering to her husband. “Shiny, I don’t think we should trust him. He just walked through our protective shield, and into our throne room. Don’t you think he could be just a little dangerous?” “Cadence, I see no reason to worry. I mean, look at him. I see absolutely no evil anywhere in him. He is incapable of wrongdoing. And you know what it means if he wasn’t stopped by the shield? It confirms it, he’s pure good!” Shining Armor had a moment of realization. He turned back to Santa Christ. “Santa Christ, you said you spread Christmas joy, didn’t you?” “Why, of course I do! It’s what I do best! The world would be lost without me!” “Then, I think we might need your help. Us ponies celebrate a different holiday, known as Hearth’s Warming Day. My sister tells me your Christmas is nearly identical. Well, this year, it’s facing a problem. A previous foe of ours, King Sombra, has returned, and plans to spread his evil by ruining this holiday. He has some sort of mysterious accomplice, and we can’t face him. He’s grown too strong. You could be the only one who could help us, Santa Christ. Will you do it?” Shining Armor gave his best puppy dog eyes, a trick he learned from Twilight back when she was a little filly. Santa Christ began to think. “Tonight is Christmas Eve, so I’m awfully busy. The children would be so disappointed if they didn’t get their presents on time. But then again, my schedule is considerably looser now that that Critic quit. I think I should be able to help.” Shining Armor rubbed his hooves together. “Excellent! You’ll be meeting with my sister down in Ponyville. She and her friends are head of the Sombra Strike Team. I’m sure you’ll be a valuable asset to the cause. Now, since there’s no time for you to take the train, we’ll just teleport you there.” “But wait! Before you do, my ride is in the middle of the snow out there. Would you mind bringing it to safety?” “You have nothing to worry about.” Shining Armor began building up his magic, joined by Cadence. The two of them engulfed Santa Christ in it, blinking him to Ponyville. “I only hope he succeeds, or else Hearth’s Warming Day is doomed.” Atop a mountain outside of Ponyville, a shadowy king was talking. “I thank you once again for ressurecting me. I will be able to exact my revenge, and take what the ponies find most sacred. Our plan shall go through tonight, and this dreadful holiday shall be ours! Are you ready?” His accomplice was leaning on the edge of the cave wall, twirling his gun in his gloved hand. “Let’s do it,” said the very angry nerd.
S.O.M.B.R.A.In a flash of light, Santa Christ was now in the center of Ponyville. Snow was falling from the night sky, and an absence of street lamps meant that only the white of the snowflakes stood out in the darkness. The citizens of the town all seemed blissfully unaware of the enemy that was threatening the holiday. All of them were enjoying the festivities in a way that only pure Christmas spirit would allow. Each pony was bundled up tightly to keep themselves warm, with hats and boots. Even the most exposed pony in the crowd was still wearing a yellow scarf. Of course, all of this changed when they noticed the human in their mist. Once they were aware of this fact, they ran in terror, hiding in their homes. Except for one purple unicorn and her little dragon, who was approaching Santa Christ. “You must be Santa Christ. I’m Twilight Sparkle, and this is Spike. My brother sent a note that you would be coming our way. Come, let’s go back to the library. My friends are already there, and we’re ready to counter strike against Sombra.” The two of them started walking, and Santa Christ noticed how attentive Twilight was. “You seem very organized. A very good trait to have, especially when you need to keep tabs on everyone in the world.” Spike stood up on Twilight’s back. “You have no idea. It’s good to be organized, but she borders on obsessive. No wait, ‘borders’ is the wrong word. ‘Off the deep end’ is more fitting. And she makes me do all the writing for her.” “Spike, your writing is so much better than mine. And without being my personal scribe, what other number one assistant duties would you have? You’d just be my mail department.” Spike crossed his arms. “Well, at least I’d be able to get a job with Derpy. I could get some delicious muffins out of that deal.” While the two of them were bickering, the library came into sight. Twilight used her magic to open the door, and the three of them were out of the snowfall. Santa Christ noticed the five other ponies sitting in the main room of the library. Twilight walked in front of him, and introduced them. “Girls, this is Santa Christ. He’s the one my brother sent to help us stop Sombra. Santa Christ, these are my friends. Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity. Together, we are the Elements of Harmony, Equestria’s heroes.” All the ponies came up to introduce themselves individually, except for Fluttershy, who was still sitting in the same spot, stunned. Once formalities were out of the way, Twilight turned to Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow, did you come up with any attack plans while I was out?” Applejack answered instead. “No, she didn’t. She spent the whole time complaining about how complicated you were making this. She just kept suggesting that we just shoot him.” Rainbow threw her hooves up in the air. “Well, it’s a good idea! Think about how much easier our previous fights would be if we just took that approach. Discord? Boom. Changelings? Boom. Plus, Sombra is a well established wimp.” Twilight seemed to take offense to that. “You think the king that terrorized the Crystal Empire is a wimp? Do you remember how much trouble he caused for us? And if Shining Armor couldn’t beat him, then what does that make him?” “Yeah yeah, he scared some ponies. But all he did was stand there and hiss at us. Maybe I’m alone on this, but I don’t find hissing scary. And all we did to beat him was use the power of love. Seriously, what kind of lame power is ‘heart’, anyway?” When the other ponies nodded in agreement, Twilight just backed down from the argument. “Alright, so maybe he didn’t cause as much trouble as Discord did, but you forgot something important. He has a helper this time, one we don’t know anything about. It could easily be a quick fight if we prepare wrong. The only thing we know is that they’ve reportedly been hiding in the mountain outside of town.” Spike stood up and held a hand in the air. “Dragon Mountain!” Twilight turned to him. “No, for the last time Spike, we’re not calling it Dragon Mountain!” Spike crossed his arms again. “Come on, it’s where that dragon that almost covered us in smoke was! It’s where I went on my rampage! The only relevance it’s had on any of our lives was when it had a dragon on it!” “Well, we’re not the Mountain Naming Committee, it’s not our job to assign nomenclature to the mountains.” Pinkie Pie jumped into the conversation. As in, jumped halfway across the room to be in the conversation. “Is there an actual committee for naming mountains? That could be fun! I’d give them all funny names, like ‘Gumdrop Mountain’!” Twilight let out an exasperated sigh. “Pinkie, I was making a joke.” Pinkie’s hyper excitement died down. “Oh. Well, it wasn’t a funny joke.” She walked back to her previous spot. Twilight was quiet for a few seconds, waiting to see if anypony else would interrupt. When she had their attention, she continued. “So, as I was saying, they’re in the mountain. We need to go up there and find them. We don’t have the Crystal Heart, so we’ll have to see if the Elements of Harmony will do the trick. Any objections?” All the ponies shook their heads. Applejack then remembered that Santa Christ was there. “You alright, sugarcube? You haven’t said a word.” “Nothing to worry about, Applejack. I was expecting some plan about spreading cheer to remind the ponies what the holiday is truly about. It’s been the subject of so many Christmas movies that I jumped to a conclusion.” Rainbow Dash stuck her tongue out. “Ugh! That sounds boring! But an actual physical fight, doesn’t that sound more fun?” Santa Christ was still happy about the plan. “But of course! There’s always enjoyment in just taking the direct approach. I can guess that’s what you always like to do, Rainbow Dash.” “Well, obviously. Thinking things out is for eggheads. No offense, Twilight.” Twilight looked angry, indicating that she did take offense. “So I say we get out there, and just finish this now! We’re on a time limit, remember?” Twilight sighed again. “Well, yes. We need to save Hearth’s Warming Day before midnight, or else it will be too late. And considering it will probably take around two hours to get up the mountain, that leaves an hour to foil their schemes. So we probably should get moving. Are we all ready?” Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash all indicated their approval by putting their front legs in the air and cheering, while Fluttershy just squeaked out a yes. Santa Christ opened the door. “So let’s get going, this holiday must be saved!” All eight of them began to walk out, before Twilight stopped Spike. “Spike, you need to stay here. Watch over the house.” Spike, who had learned not to argue with the most talented unicorn in Equestria, accepted his job reluctantly. Once he was firmly back inside, the group of seven made their way to the mountain. Up on the mountaintop, King Sombra was looking down on Ponyville. “What a pathetic group. Taking out this holiday will show them who’s in charge, and how worthless their ideals are.” He turned to the human that was standing next to him. “I am very glad you see correctly, Nerd. Your immense knowledge and pure rage will be a valuable asset.” He held up his right hand, covered by a glove. “Alright, first off, I’m not ‘The Nerd’. I’m the (bleep) Nerd.” He stopped when he realized he had been censored. “(Censored)…hole? (Inappropriate). Why can’t I swear?” Sombra only scoffed. “Such language. It has no acceptance in this world, and laws of nature prevent you from saying these words.” The Nerd got angry. “(Nope). Even if I can’t swear, I can still knock those ponies down, and that should be enough. They’re just so (naughty) happy all the time, it (can’t be written) me off!” Sombra laughed. “You truly are the perfect man for the job, Nerd. We shall make a great team, one that will be revered throughout the ages, under my rule!” The Nerd put the scope on his headgear over his eye, and reached behind his cape to pull out his much larger gun, this one more shaped like a bazooka. “Let’s rock and roll.”
I'm Allowed to Kill Characters, Right?Santa Christ and the ponies were walking up the path leading up the mountain, ready to face what would most likely be their greatest challenge yet. Not to Santa Christ, though. He had done battle with some of the biggest threats imaginable, so many that fighting ordinary monsters like sissy Ghidorah was his favorite hobby. On an unrelated note, Tokyo had become a great vacation spot. The snowfall was obscuring vision up the mountain, making just walking difficult. All of them were sure to be quiet, as the buildup of snow made an avalanche a distinct possibility. All of the ponies were wearing proper clothing to keep themselves warm. Most notably, Rarity was wearing a multitude of scarves and a giant hat. However, none of them were equipped for a battle, aside from the Elemental Necklaces they wore. And Rainbow Dash was wearing the outfit Rarity had made following her directions. Even after the group had new dresses, Rainbow had kept hers, and began referring to it as the ‘Rainbow Armor’. This was the first time she had worn it outside her home, indicating her seriousness on the matter. After an hour of walking in silence, the group reached the top of the mountain, with limited time to save Hearth’s Warming Day. The mouth to a giant cave stood in front of them, where a dragon had previously been taking its nap. The hoard of gold and jewels was still sitting on the cave floor, much to Rarity’s never ending excitement. She had been cursing herself every day for not taking at least some of the hoard, for decoration and dressmaking. Eager to take what she considered to be rightfully hers, Rarity charged into the cave against the warnings from the rest of the group. Once she had fully entered the cave, thick shadows separated her, and a pair of piercing red eyes seemed to stare at each of them. A deep, rumbling laugh erupted from the back of the cave, and the shadows materialized into their normal pony shape. The five ponies that remained outside all instantly recognized the Lord of Shadow that stood in front of them. “Sombra!” Sombra laughed. “I’m impressed that you made it up this far! I fully expected you to fall off the mountain or something!” When he noticed the blank stares he was receiving, he clarified. “You know, because you’re so incompetent and stupid. That’s what I was inferring.” He wasn’t very good at the whole being evil thing. It took him too long before he noticed that they had Santa Christ in their midst. “And who do we have here? Another human? Perhaps you’d be willing to join my side as well.” “Do you take me for some kind of fool? You really think I would join you, Sombra? These nice ponies have told me all about your evil plans, and I won’t stand for anyone who tries to ruin a holiday as jolly as this.” “So you aren’t as smart as I had expected. No matter, I have a very powerful ally on my side.” He turned his head and called back into the cave. “You may come out now.” The Nerd stepped out of the cave, holding Rarity at Zapperpoint. He was fully decked out in his standard battle gear, with the aforementioned Zapper, a Power Glove on his right hand, LaserScope on his head, and a Power Pad cape concealing a Super Scope strapped to his back. “Hello, ponies. I’m the (lol nope) Nerd, and I’ve had it with your cheerful attitudes. This should put you in your places.” Santa Christ was surprised to see the Nerd. But then he remembered that the Nerd was one of a few people who had spent the entire lives on his naughty list, and that did not bode well for them. “You know Nerd, this isn’t what you want to do. Do you understand what happens to people on my naughty list? I’ll give you a hint: it doesn’t end well for you. If you walk away now, I’ll have no reason to harm you.” The Nerd scoffed. “No. I’ve put up with these ponies and their obnoxious personalities. I can’t stand their whole ‘magic of friendship’ thing, and I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to put a stop to it.” Rarity began to tear up. “You don’t like us? But why not? Aren’t we adorable? Aren’t we fabulous? How could anyone with a soul hate us like this?” She cried, all part of an act. The Nerd got annoyed and threw her back to the other ponies, where she landed on the ground and struggled to stand again. As she stood up, she noticed her fashionable hair had been messed up. Everyone else standing swore they saw her pupils catch fire, and she got mad. “You monster! Do you have any idea what you have just done? My amazing mane, ruined! You’ll pay for this!” The Nerd took a step back. “What happened, did you just get possessed or something? First Mario 3, now this? Why does Satan hate me so much?” Santa Christ pointed a finger. “I can also tell you that God isn’t too fond of you either. So once I’m finished with you, you’ll be spending the rest of your existence in purgatory.” Sombra smiled. “This party’s getting crazy! Let’s rock!” He noticed the blank stares he was getting again. “It’s a line I heard from something. Sounded cool.” Their expressions didn’t change. “Alright then, let’s just get to the fight.” Both parties charged towards each other, kicking up the snow beneath their feet or hooves. Snow hanging in the air made it hard to see, but a large battle still commenced. Magic and confetti began firing in every direction, none of the shots hitting targets. Santa Christ grappled with the Nerd, both surprisingly close in strength. Sombra just stood on the sidelines, eager to try a new move he had learned. Attempting to find the King, Rainbow Dash slid out of the cloud of snow, and Sombra was ready. His horn charged with magic, and his body melted into a shadow onto the ground, sliding towards Rainbow’s own shadow. Once the two connected, Sombra materialized again, and Rainbow found herself unable to move. Smiling, Sombra moved parts of his own body, and Rainbow unwilling copied them. She was angry and a little scared. “Wh-what are you doing?” “Just a little move I learned called the Shadow Possession Jutsu. Only I could pull off something like this. Feel my wrath!” The Nerd saw he had an opening, and pushed Santa Christ to the ground. He pulled out his Zapper, and shot at the immobilized Rainbow Dash. But the shot was intercepted by a snowball thrown by a suitably angry Fluttershy. She was bouncing another snowball, throwing it at Sombra’s face. It distracted it long enough for Rainbow to break free. Seeing that conventional fighting tactics weren’t working, the ponies regrouped. Twilight, always the head of the team, spoke for them. “Alright Sombra and Nerd, you’ve been stronger opponents then we expected. We’re going to have to pull out the biggest guns we have.” All six pairs of eyes started to glow as they began to float in the air, and their necklaces also began to glow with power. A giant rainbow shot out from their bodies, arching high in the sky and coming back down to hit Sombra head on. Once the light had cleared, all of the good guy group fully expected the fight to be over. But fate was not on their side. Sombra still stood, unharmed. He laughed. “You thought your pathetic Elements could stop me? My shadow is too strong to be brightened by your light! I am not some everyday darkness, I am Advanced Darkness! You cannot kill me!” The Nerd, standing behind Sombra, put the end of his Zapper on the side of Sombra’s head. “Maybe they can’t kill you, but I can!” He pulled the trigger, and everyone else looked away. When they opened their eyes again, Sombra was laying on the ground. He looked up at the Nerd. “Why? Why would you do this? We were a perfect team, and you just killed me.” His eyes closed, and his head laid in the snow. The Nerd smiled. “You were resurrected once, I’m sure you’ll come back again.” He looked to the shocked ponies. “Oh, what’s wrong? Was this just too violent for your happy little world? You want to know how I brought him back? With this!” He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a red-gem necklace of his own. Twilight was quick to recognize it. “The Alicorn Amulet! How did you get it?” “For all you know, a gremlin gave it to me. It really doesn’t matter, because I can do this!” He clutched the amulet hard, and everyone there assumed he was putting it on. They were once again surprised when he opened his fist, and the amulet was broken, aside from the perfectly intact gem. He threw the remains on the ground, and placed the gem on his Power Glove and closed his eyes. When they opened again, they were glowing, and his glove started glowing with magical energy. A quick flick of his hand, like he was swatting a fly, sent the ponies and Santa Christ flying off the mountain back to Ponyville, and holding out his hand stopped their descent and dropped them softly onto the streets. His voice echoed all throughout Equestria. “Hear this, ponies! Your lives of pure happiness are over! I’m in control now, and I’ve got the strength to prove it! Any of you want to challenge me, come right ahead. You’re just guaranteeing your own deaths. You will all feel the pain and suffering I’ve endured while you just lived your carefree lives, never feeling retribution or endangerment! My word is absolute! My orders are final! And your lives, your happiness, everything that defines you is mine!”
CAT!!!Equestria was in chaos. Giant bunnies were terrorizing ponies, lions were being annoying, and pegasi were being forced to endlessly fly through rings. Away from all the danger, the Elements of Harmony and Santa Christ were all in Twilight Sparkle’s library, attempting to find a way to stop the Nerd’s reign of power. Twilight was frantically searching through a book, which listed descriptions on many magical artifacts. She was looking on the page for the Alicorn Amulet, unable to make any sort of conclusion on removal if the necklace part was destroyed. She threw the book into the air in frustration. “Ugh! It’s useless! I can’t find anything to help us!” Pinkie Pie got very sad. “So, that means Hearth’s Warming Day is gone?” Rainbow Dash got up into Pinkie’s face. “Think, Pinkie! It’s not just Hearth’s Warming Day! This Nerd went above and beyond his original plan! He’s going to completely ruin every day of the year!” Upon hearing this news, Pinkie began to cry. Santa Christ went to comfort Pinkie. He looked over at Twilight. “Excuse me, Twilight, but what is this Alicorn Amulet?” “The Alicorn Amulet is an ancient artifact. The legends say that it was crafted by an olden tribe, in the form of their gods. It enhances a unicorn’s magical ability, originally intended to help with their difficult daily lives. But it corrupts the hearts of whoever uses it, and they began using it for hexing rituals. Eventually, it had to be sealed away for being too dangerous. The first time we saw it, it was being used by a rival of mine for revenge. How the Nerd got a hold of it, I don’t know.” Santa Christ stroked his magnificent beard in thought. “So it’s a gem that enhances magical ability…I know exactly what the Nerd is using it for. He’s using it as a homemade Malachite’s Hand.” When he saw that all of the ponies and Spike were confused, he explained. “Malachite’s Hand is a gauntlet crafted by the medieval sorcerer, Malachite. He created a jewel to place on the gauntlet that granted him unlimited magical power. It was lost to time until summer last year, when a group of adventurers discovered it and faced Malachite one last time. Since then, the original was destroyed. The Nerd saw a chance to make one for himself and conquer your world.” “So what’re we waitin’ for,” Applejack asked. “Let’s go find him, and take him down!” Santa Christ shook his head. “I’m afraid that if he has magic that strong, none of you will be able to take him on head to head. I’ll have to take him on alone.” A voice called out from behind them. “No, you won’t.” Everyone in the room turned towards the doorway, to see three alicorns standing there. While Santa Christ only recognized one of them, the rest knew all three, and Twilight called out. “Celestia! Luna! Cadence!” Cadence jumped forward, and began to do her dance with Twilight. “Sunshine, sunshine…” Luna interrupted them. “Now is most certainly not the time for this. I believe we have far more important matters to attend to?” Celestia nodded. “That’s right. You two will have to meet up when this problem is solved, when the fate of Equestria isn’t hanging in the balance. So, as I was saying, you don’t have to do this alone, Santa Christ. As alicorns ourselves, we possess magical abilities beyond any normal unicorn. I think that between the four of us, we should be able to put up a worthy fight against the Nerd.” Santa Christ smiled, knowing that these ponies knew the true meaning of Christmas, standing by each other’s sides and keeping them safe. “Well then, let’s not waste any time. Let’s show that Nerd the forces he’s awakened!” The three alicorns teleported themselves and Santa Christ out of the library, going to the fight they planned to finish. The Nerd smiled. “So, you’ve come back for round 2?” He turned back at the new group that was facing him. “I understand that you ponies are all idiots, but this takes it to a whole new level. Do you understand the ultimate power I have in my hand? I could squash you like the bugs you are.” Cadence corrected him. “That’s the Changelings you’re thinking of. Normal ponies like us are not related to bugs in any sort of way. But don’t go around thinking that we’re normal ponies!” The Nerd stopped, his brain halted by what Cadence had just said. He hit himself in the head to get back into a working state of mind, hurting himself in the confusion. “So, anyways…” He got back into his menacing voice. “It’s high time you all lost the (haha no) happiness and love that you cherished so much! ONCE I GET RID OF THE (calm down) CENSORSHIP!” Cadence used her love magic on the Nerd to bring out the good in his heart. The visual representation of her magic, a cartoon heart, came out of her horn and flew towards the Nerd. Mildly annoyed, he grabbed it and crushed it in his fist. “Were you really too stupid to guess? I’ve got no good in my heart!” “That’s not true,” Santa Christ said. “Even in the way you’ve done it, everything you’ve done has been for the benefit of humans everywhere. You’ve gotten angry to protect others from the games that made you rage so much. Don’t you remember what happened when ROB attacked the world?” “I didn’t do that to protect anyone, I had my own score to settle with that robot. You all just got lucky. I’m done listening to what you have to say, it’s time to finish this.” He pulled his arms off to this side, and thrust his palms forward together. “Hadouken!” A blue fireball shot out, hitting Santa Christ. He fell to the ground, stunned, forced to watch the battle. Luna yelled out, “Charge!” The three alicorns all ran towards the Nerd, each using their different magical abilities to fight. However, none of them were able to stand up to the raw power they were against. Even when Luna created a miniature black hole, he just froze it with concrete. As the fight commenced, the alicorns’ fight began seeming increasingly hopeless. The Nerd was countering and reversing any attack he was thrown, and forcing them back. He performed a ground pound move, stunning the three. Going in for finishing blows, he punched Celestia in the face, suplexed Luna, and grabbed Cadence by the throat, choking her. Santa Christ, still on the ground, knew he was all the hope that was left. He stood up, and, without saying a word, reached into his robes and pulled out his gun. The Nerd jumped back in shock and threw Cadence at the other princesses. “Since when is Santa packing?” “The name is Santa Christ.” The Nerd pulled out his Zapper, and the two of them fired, shots colliding. The collision created more force than any of them had expected, tossing snow in the air. The Nerd waved his hand to clear the snow, just in time to see Santa Christ leaping forward, punching him in the gut. Stunned, The Nerd called out for his last hope to win. "Prepare to face the wrath of Super Mega Death Christ 2000..." He was interrupted by Santa Christ pulling the Power Glove off his hand, rendering him powerless. The Nerd knew that he had been beaten, and held his hands up in the air, surrendering. “Alright, you won. I won’t bother these ponies again, just bring me back to Earth.” Santa Christ put the Power Glove on, and waved his hand, sending out waves of colored light across the skies of all of Equestria. As every pony saw the lights, all of the troubles the Nerd had caused disappeared. Ponies began to cheer for the victory, not knowing who it was that saved them. The Nerd was handcuffed and his mouth was covered. Everypony in Ponyville was cheering for Santa Christ. He thanked the Elements of Harmony and the Princesses, bearing gifts for the good work they had done. Of all the ponies, Luna was most pleased about the present she received, a Sega Genesis. Using the Power Glove, Santa Christ opened a portal back to Earth. Fluttershy, in her first words to him, tried to get him to stay. “Do you really have to leave? The Hearth’s Warming Day celebrations are only a few hours away.” “I’m afraid so. All the time I’ve spent here means that I’m late to deliver the Christmas presents. I’ll have to miss Mr. T’s party, and I don’t want to miss out on his delicious pancakes.” Luna smiled. “I wouldn’t worry about that.” She fired a beam of magic into the portal. “There, your night should last for a few more hours now. It’s the least we could do for everything you’ve done for us.” “Thank you very much! But it’s time to depart. Come on, Nerd.” He pulled the Nerd into the portal, his voice becoming more distant as he traveled between dimensions. The last words they heard from him were “Happy Hearth’s Warming Day! Ho ho ho ho!” “And that’s how Santa Christ Saved Hearth’s Warming Day!” Twilight Sparkle finished her story, leaving three very confused Cutie Mark Crusaders attempting to process what they had just heard. Sitting next to them was Spike, who was looking very bored. He leaned over to the filly sitting next to him, Sweetie Belle, and whispered in her ear. “See? This is why we don’t let Twilight drink eggnog.”
