Rodeo Gaga

by Parchment_Scroll

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Rarity, Slice of Life, Applejack, Opalescence, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3506

Rarity follows through on Applejack's dare and enters a rodeo while the farmpony is unable to.

When the Equestrian Roving Rodeo comes to Ponyville, Applejack's excited to strut her stuff in the annual event until an unfortunate accident leaves her unable to participate. With Applejack laid up and Big Macintosh handling a large delivery to Appleloosa, it's up to the unlikeliest of ponies to represent Sweet Apple Acres in competition.

Published 2011-08-29 02:40:07 UTC
Last updated 2011-09-19 03:42:08 UTC

The Roving Rodeo

Rodeo Gaga
The Roving Rodeo

"Applejack! Applejack!"

The blonde, orange-furred pony rolled her eyes, lining up for another buck. Anyone who thinks farm life's quiet an' peaceful ain't been 'round mah sister, she thought, then lashed out with her back hooves with well-practiced aim. As the apples fell from the tree into her carefully arranged basket, she adjusted her cowboy hat and called out.

"Ahm raht here, Applebloom! What's put a bee in yer bonnet t'day, huh?"

The little yellow filly scrambled over to her big sister, a large piece of paper flapping from her clenched teeth. "Ook! Ook! Uh Ehestiah Ovee Oeeeooh ih hummi hoo Honyvih!"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "I cain't understand yuh, thar, Applebloom," she said, taking the flyer from her sister and spreading it on the ground between them. After a moment to take in the flyer's contents, she began to grin. "Well Ah'll be a prancin' party pony! The annual Equestrian Rovin' Rodeo's comin' ta Ponyville this year!"

Applebloom scowled, kicking a small rock. "Ah just said that," she complained, but her sister wasn't listening.

* * * * *

Twilight Sparkle and Spike were in a bit of a panic. To be fair, Twilight Sparkle was in a panic, and Spike was just exasperated with her, but if she wanted to think he was panicking too, he'd let her. Misery loves company, after all.

"I can't believe this!" She magically took book after book off the shelves. "How could the Mayor do this to me? I mean, I don't know a thing about rodeos! That's Applejack's..." She frowned, levitating a thesaurus over and flipping through pages before grimacing and giving up. "Thing," she finished weakly.

"So ask her for help," said Spike.

"I can't do that!" Twilight Sparkle whinnied. "Applejack is going to be competing! I can't turn to one of the competitors for help!"

"It's not like you're going to be organizing the rodeo itself, Twi," put in Spike. "They've got a whole staff for that! All you have to do is help them out with local things like supplies, a place to set up..."

Twilight seemed on the verge of calming down before she went off the deep end yet again. "Agghh! I didn't even consider that! Whenever I think of where they could set up, I think of Sweet Apple Acres' grazing fields, but that won't do at all! What will the cows do for lunch?"

Spike rolled his eyes. "Settle down, Twi," he tried again. "It's a rodeo! They're tough, they can handle a few changes. It's not like Princess Celestia's coming to--"

"PRINCESS CELESTIA!" Twilight's eyes widened in horror. "I totally forgot about Princess Celestia! I've got to make sleeping arrangements! Who-- Rarity!"

Spike blinked slowly, waving a clawed hand in front of Twilight's muzzle. "Twi, Princess Celestia is not coming to Ponyville. It's just. A rodeo!"

Twilight rounded to face Spike, her head pinning him against a counter. "Spike, Princess Celestia always goes to the Roving Rodeo. She started it! It's in her honor! She judges half the competitions!"

As that handily explained Twilight Sparkle's frantic mood, there was nothing Spike could say, other than "Oh."

* * * * *

Halfway around town from the Branches and Leaves Library, a similar -- albeit more controlled -- frenzy was taking place inside Ponyville's premier house of fashion, the Carousel Boutique.

"Oh dear," Rarity said. "Oh dear, oh dear. What ever shall I wear? I simply cannot be seen by the Princess wearing anything other than the finest of my wares!" She began to lift a jewel-studded lavender gown from one of the forms. "Oh, but I can't possibly wear this to... a rodeo."

Opalescence rolled her eyes. She loved Rarity as much as a pampered cat can love a pony -- which is to say she tolerated the high-strung fashionista's panic attacks, so long as Rarity doted upon her with all of the pampering and care she richly deserved -- but sometimes the unicorn could be a bit much.

"What's that, Opalescence?"

The cat, who hadn't so much as mewed, merely yawned and curled up to nap until the unicorn-induced storm of fabrics passed.

"But I simply must attend the rodeo, Opalescence! Princess Celestia will be there, which is to say, everypony who's anypony will naturally be there as well."

Before Opalescence realized what was happening, Rarity had swooped in on her and scooped her up with both front hooves. "And if I'm not there, that means I'm not somepony. And if I'm not somepony then I'm nopony!"

After Opalescence escaped, and the third outfit was rejected, Rarity let out a frantic laugh. "That's it! I must consult... an expert!" She trotted straight for the door. "Don't wait up, Opalescence, dear! Mommy's going to be a while!"

* * * * *

Rarity barely escaped the library with her sanity intact. She'd hoped to be able to consult photographic records in the library's archive, not get roped into one of Twilight's social-anxiety-induced frenzies. Not that she couldn't empathize with Twilight Sparkle, of course. It's just that neither of them was of any use to the other -- each only heightened the other's state of anxiety until the two of them were a nervous wreck.

Rarity stifled a small laugh when she realized this was perhaps the first time Spike had suggested a plan of action that separated her from the baby dragon. But he'd had a point. If Twilight's records were in disarray, the only ponies likely to have a good photographic history of rodeos in Equestria were the Apple family!

Head high, mane bouncing, and a song on her lips, Rarity trotted off to see her good friend Applejack.

Along the way, she found herself thinking about the orange pony. They'd hardly been acquaintances when Twilight Sparkle first came to town. But between the confrontation with Nightmare Moon, the lesson learned at Twilight Sparkle's first sleepover, and numerous other minor adventures through the weeks, they'd become much closer friends. Well, the unicorn mused, they do say it takes different trots for different ponies.

She'd barely finished the thought when the rhythmic thump-thump-thump of apples falling into baskets alerted her that she'd reached her destination. Looking around, she spotted her friend bucking apples in the south field. "Why, hello, Applejack," she called out merrily.

Applejack, startled, turned mid-buck, her right hoof hitting the tree at an angle, while her left hoof, disastrously, missed entirely. "EEeoow!" Applejack's eyes screwed up in pain. "Tarnation," she griped. "Ah ain't missed a buck since I was Applebloom's age."

Lining up for another buck, she planted her front hooves, lifted her haunches, then winced and collapsed. It was no good. She'd wrenched her hip too badly to buck.

But You Must!

Rodeo Gaga
But You Must

"Oh dear, dear, dear," Rarity fretted. "I am ever so sorry, Applejack. How... how is your hip?"

Applejack grimaced. "Ah'll be fine," she said. While she didn't actually come out and say "eventually," it hung unsaid in the air between them. "Jes need ta rest up a mite, is all. Now what's got y'all in such a lather, Rarity?"

"Oh," Rarity said, crestfallen. "Oh, I hate to even mention it what with your current condition and all, but... Well, I require your expertise. You see, as I'm sure you're quite aware, the annual Equestrian Roving Rodeo is coming to Ponyville this year..." She looked over at Applejack, hoping the earth pony would infer her meaning.

"Ah'm aware," Applejack said with a wry smile. "Fact is, Ah wouldn't'a known fer a couple'a days yet if it t'weren't fer Applebloom bringin' a flyer by earlier t'day." She cocked her head. "Ah reckon yer the last pony ta care about that sorta thing, tho, Rarity. So what gives?"

"What... gives," Rarity said with difficulty, "is that the Roving Rodeo is, in fact, a major event in the uppermost echelons of Canterlot society. A chance for the nobility to, ah, get their hooves dirty, so to speak."

Applejack nodded. "Well, ah reckon that's good fer anypony. S'all in good fun, after all, and everypony likes good fun."

Rarity nodded. "Everypony," she said, "including Princess Celestia."

The light dawned on Applejack. "Ah git it now," she said. "Y'all want ta make a big splash in front o' th' Princess, but ya don't want ta stand out too much." She grinned. "Ah got just th' thang. Y'all wait right here, an' Ah'll get th' family album." She started towards the farmhouse, then grimaced and collapsed, her off hind leg too injured to support her weight.

"Perhaps," Rarity said, "you should wait here, and I shall go fetch the album, no?"

"Perhaps," Applejack acknowledged ruefully.

* * * * *

The Mayor smiled. Things were going so smoothly for a change. She would have to write to Princess Celestia to thank her for allowing Twilight Sparkle to stay in Ponyville after the Summer Sun Celebration. Winter Wrap-Up had gone off without a hitch for the first time in years. The presentation of the Prize Pony of Ponyville to Applejack had been a major event instead of an impromptu gathering as previous such awards had been. And now, the Roving Rodeo! And it was all thanks to the unicorn librarian's exemplary organizational skills.

Her office had been bustling with activity all day, but the most frequent visitor had been Miss Sparkle herself, coming to personally update her on the Rodeo's status. If there was one thing Twilight Sparkle needed, the Mayor thought, it was a bit more confidence. Ah, well, she thought, that'll come with time and experience. Her ears perked up, and she felt a sly smile spreading across her muzzle. Experience, she thought, like judging an event or two in the Rodeo! It was perfect! The hosting city was allowed to provide two judges to each event, after all.

* * * * *

It hadn't taken long to find the Apple family albums (plural, as it happens, because some ancestor of Applejack's had shown organizational foresight that would make Twilight Sparkle proud and separated photographs by type of event) and still less time to locate the one dedicated to rodeo performances over the generations. Big Macintosh, ever the gentlecolt, had been quite a help, and Rarity made a mental note to repay him. Perhaps with a nice custom saddle? A new harness for his yoke? She'd have to ask Applejack.

In any case, she and Applejack were going over the photographs, and she found them not only an education, but an interesting picture of rodeo fashion changing over the years. "Yes, yes," she muttered to herself, "there's actually quite a bit more to work with here than I'd originally suspected."

"What, did y'all think all us farm an' rodeo types were complete rubes?" Applejack frowned as Rarity's discomfort became apparent. "Don't answer," she said.

"Oh, my, Applejack, you are simply stunning in this spangled saddle and blanket," Rarity said, trying to deflect her friend's ire with a compliment. "And quite the trick roper as always, I see."

Applejack looked at the indicated photograph, then broke into a grin. After a moment, the grin became stifled chuckles, then a full belly laugh. "Well thank ya kindly, Rarity, but ah reckon y'all of all ponies woulda noticed that ain't me in that thar picture." She jabbed a hoof at the picture.

"What are you talking about, Applejack?" Rarity frowned, taking another look at the black and white photograph. She'd seen her friend performing that exact rope trick several times over the years, and recognized the skill and, frankly, perfect posture and control required for... She took a closer look at where Applejack was pointing, and felt horrified. She prided herself, after all, on attention to detail, and a pony's cutie mark was quite a bit more than just a detail. "Is... is that...?"

Applejack grinned. "Eeeyup," she drawled. "Granny Smith, champeen trick roper o' th' Apple family fer better'n two decades, afore she taught me ever'thin' Ah know."

Rarity beamed at her friend. "Look at you, cut from the same bolt of cloth, definitely." Eagerly, she flipped ahead in the book. Once the photographs were in color, it became much easier to tell when one generation moved aside for the next. "Ah," she said. "There you are. I imagine if we took this picture and put it up next to the one of your grandmother, the only difference would be the... well, your cutie marks!"

Applejack smiled. "Eeyup," she said, "Ah do mah best ta make Granny Smith proud ever' time ah go out thar."

Rarity frowned. "And now you won't be able to compete," she said, "and it's my fault."

"Hay now," the earth pony said with a matching frown. "Ah know better'n ta let mahself get all distracterated when Ah'm a-buckin'."

"Oh, now you're doing it on purpose," Rarity said. "'Distracterated'? Really?"

Applejack laughed. "All right, all right, that 'un wuz on purpose, ah admit. Jes' wanted ta see if'n Ah could make ya twitch a bit. Anyhoo, Ah'll be fine. Ah was tryin' ta figure out how Ah could manage the Sweet Apple Acres stall an' compete at th' same time. No conflict now, Ah reckon." She grinned. "Heck, y'all dared me not ta compete in th' next rodeo what comes t' town, anyway," she said.

Rarity laughed. "That I did," she said. "And, as I recall..." Her eyes widened, her grin brightened, and her mane even seemed to take on some of her excitement. "IDEA!" she caroled with glee. "I shall compete on Sweet Apple Acres' behalf! That way, you can mind the stand, and your farm won't be unrepresented at the competition!"

Applejack frowned. "Ah dunno, Rarity. Ah mean, sure, yer heart's in the right place, an' two sizes too large as always, but are ya sure ya won't be all fussed about it? Rodeo folk git dusty," she said, narrowing her eyes at the unicorn. "Dirty, like."

Rarity smiled nervously. "Oh, I'm sure there's something I can compete in where I won't completely shame you, Applejack," she said. "And as for the dust... well, if I do compete, and that is the case, well, it will only serve to demonstrate to you practical farm types that my designs are durable as well as elegant."

"Ah dunno," Applejack said again, but Rarity cut her off.

"Well I do," the unicorn said. "I am dressage trained, so even if I lose, I shall do so with grace and poise."

She did not let her friend know what she was really thinking, which was, What have I just gotten myself into?!

For Pony's Sake!

Rodeo Gaga
For Pony's Sake

"Oh, Sweetie Belle," Rarity fussed, "I'm afraid I've bitten off more than I can chew yet again!"

The fashionista's little sister frowned. "You always do that whenever I'm going to have a sleepover with my friends," she complained. "How come you never think about what I want?"

Rarity froze, aghast. "Sweetie Belle! I am very sorry. It's just that I promised Applejack I would compete in her place in the Roving Rodeo this year, since it's my fault she is too injured to compete. I can't, simply can not abandon a friend in her time of need!"

Sweetie Belle's frown deepened. "But what about my time of need?" She pouted at her sister. "Applebloom, Scootaloo, and me were gonna work on getting our cutie marks together!"

Rarity gritted her teeth. She loved her sister dearly, and the group of friends they called the Cutie Mark Crusaders were, frankly, rather adorable when they weren't being completely exasperating. But a promise was a promise. Of course, she had also promised her sister...

"Hay, Rarity," Sweetie Belle said with a sly grin. "I have an idea." The unicorn filly was already on the way to the door. "I'll go get Applebloom and Scootaloo, and we'll help you get ready for the rodeo! Then we can get our... our rodeo helper-outer cutie marks!"

Rarity raised a forehoof and started to voice an objection, but Sweetie Belle was already out the door.

* * * * *

Twilight Sparkle was suffering from mixed emotions. On the one hoof, she was concerned for her injured friend's well being. On the other, she really needed help organizing the Roving Rodeo's stay in Ponyville. On another, Applejack clearly needed help tending to her duties on the farm. On yet another, she had to admit there was some humor to be found in her friend's current condition.

"All right, Twi," Applejack fumed. "What in tarnation is with that thar look yer givin' me? It's like ya ain't seen a pony hurt before."

Twilight snickered, then covered her muzzle in shock at her own behavior. "I'm sorry, Applejack," she confessed. "It's just..."

Spike, on the other hoof (how many hooves was that, anyway? Five? What kind of pony had five hooves?), had no problem laughing out loud. "Wow, Applejack," he said, "I've heard of a pony having their butt in a sling before, but I never thought I'd actually see it!"

"Haw haw," drawled the farm pony, unamused. After a moment, she let out a slight chuckle. "All right, Ah'll admit, when y'all look at 'er that way, it does make it a mite funny."

"A, uh..." Twilight offered a sheepish grin. "A mite."

"In any case, Ah'll do what I can ta help ya, Twi, but fer obvious reasons Ah'm not sure how much help Ah kin be."

Twilight nodded, taking a moment to get her composure back. "Well, as I'm sure you're aware," she began.

"Th' annual Equestrian Rovin' Rodeo's comin' ta Ponyville," Applejack finished for her. "Ah shore am aware. Wouldja believe Rarity wants ta compete on mah behalf?"

Twilight was taken aback. "Really? That's... um..."

Applejack grinned. "Aw, it's right neighborly of her is what it is. Anyhoo, what kin Ah do fer ya?"

"Well," said Twilight, "it's just that I'm having a terrible time figuring out where they can set up the rodeo grounds. The only place I can think of is, well, your grazing fields. But that won't do at all!"

"Why not?"

Twilight blinked. "We can't just take over the fields. Your cows need them for grazing!"

Applejack laughed. "Shoot, Twi, I knew y'all were a bit sheltered when it comes ta farm stuff, but Ah figured y'all would know pert' near anythin's in a book about it! Ain't y'all heard o' rotatin' crops?"

Twilight nodded. "Well, yes," she said, "for crops like corn or wheat or barley, but not for your apples, or just grass!"

Applejack could barely contain her elation. Things, it seemed, would work out nicely this year after all. "Naw, we don't rotate th' apples, that'd be plum crazy. But we got three grazin' fields and three more fer crops, and we rotate through all six o' them. So the cows're usin' the south and southeast fields right now, and the northeast, north, and northwest are bein' used fer grains, but the southwest field is layin' fallow 'til next month."

"Won't having a bunch of ponies trampling the field cause problems down the line?"

"Naw, not really," Applejack said. "We kin git along jes' fine with five fields 'stead o' six. And it'll mean Ah ain't gotta find a way ta git mah stand ta th' other side o' Ponyville. Now that is what Ah call lucky!"

Twilight grinned. "That's fantastic! I'm so relieved!"

Applejack laughed. "Y'all worry too much. T'ain't like ya ain't got yer friends ta help out when ya need us, Sugarcube."

"See, Twilight? No problems at all," Spike said. "It's not like--" The little dragon hiccuped, then let out a colossal belch of green fire, a scroll appearing in the sparkling flames.

With practiced ease, Twilight caught the scroll with her magic and unrolled it, scanning it quickly before showing all the telltale signs of a full-on Twilight Sparkle signature panic attack. "No problems?" she said with a twitch. "No problems at all?" She began to giggle maniacally, letting the scroll fall to the ground.

Spike picked it up and read it aloud.

"My Faithful Student Twilight Sparkle,

"I am overjoyed to hear from the Mayor of Ponyville about your participation in not only organizing, but helping to judge the upcoming Equestrian Roving Rodeo. I can't say how happy I am to see you step forward and represent the town, and how much I am looking forward to judging the competitions alongside you and all the other judges.

"Your loving mentor,

"Princess Celestia"

Twilight twitched again. "I'm going to judge the competitions? I can't judge the competitions! I don't know anything about judging rodeo competitions! How can I judge the competitions? I need to study!" So saying, she galloped off towards the library, leaving a bemused Applejack and Spike in her wake.

"I should probably go help her," Spike said. "You take care of yourself, Applejack!"

"You too. An' take care o' Twilight, okay?"

"You got it!"