Thunderlane was pacing back and forth in his office, muttering angrily to himself. The constant clip clip of his hooves was driving his co-workers insane.
"Let it go Thunderlane," yelled a particularly sexy burnt orange Pegasus," I've never been employee of the month either."
"Yeah but you don't make 300 sales every single day," Thunderlane yelled angrily," I work my ass off, and I still can't get a plaque on that wall!"
"Sure, it's not fair, you're one of the best damn salesponies in the building, but life isn't fair, I stopped giving a shit and my sales have doubled in the past week."
"The only reason your sales doubled is because I keep recommending you!"
"You know what? Fine! Be a grumpy asshole all morning if you want, I don't care anymore," he turned to his computer, muttering something about only trying to help.
Thunderlane screamed in frustration and went back to his cubicle, it was a very untidy cubicle, there were balled up papers everywhere, empty eraser boxes scattered all over the desk, and literally hundreds of crushed paper cups littered the entire room. There was Nirvana merchandise everywhere, from bobble heads and dirty shirts, to posters and old concert tickets.
He approached his pride and joy, a life sized Fathead wall graphic of Kurt Comane.
"Oh Kurt, you'd have known what to do in this situation," Thunderlane began to caress the wall poster, he stared into Kurt's eyes and was overcome with sadness and pleasure, he cried and came at the same time, showering the wall decal with creamy jizz.
Suddenly, the decal began to sparkle, the decal's lips began to move.
"Thunderlane, your magical pegasus jizz has given me new life, and for that I will grant you one wish, well not really a wish, more like an opportunity."
"Alright, I want to be employee of the month."
The decal pulled out his magical left hoofed guitar and strummed a few chords, "Your wish is granted," the decal peeled itself off of the wall and started walking out of the cubicle.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to reunite Nirvana and tour all of Equestria once more."
"Thank you Kurt Comane, you're a gift to us all!"
Just then Thunderlane's green haired friend cantered by and said,
"Rush is better."
"Nunchucks, before I kill you for saying that, answer me this. You've literally been doing nothing, and yet the boss gives you raises and extra vacation days, why is that?"
"Well the reason I don't need to try very hard is because I get a lot of facetime with the boss, and I kiss flank relentlessly, hell I even sang a song for him, though between you and me, I think the boss is kind of a whiny bitch."
Thunderlane looked taken aback at this stunning peice of information. Could it really be that simple? Was that really all he had to do? Well, if it worked for a lazy dick like Nunchucks it was bound to work for him. So Thunderlane thanked Nunchucks in the only way he knew how, with the most passionate kiss of all time. He locked his lips against Nunchuck's, slowly sliding his toungue into Nunchuck's mouth. They wrestled playfully, struggling for dominance, until Nunchucks slapped Thunderlane in the face.
Thunderlane brought his hoof to his face, feeling the stinging sensation that resulted from the slap.
"Dude, what the fuck," yelled Nunchucks," I'm not gay, don't kiss me."
"All I did was grind my hips against yours as I sucked your face, what's gay about that?" replied Thunderlane," gosh, what are you stupid? As long as our balls don't touch it isn't gay."
"Well when you put it that way, I guess you're right," said Nunchuck's.
Thunderlane galloped of to the elevators, satisfied that he had helped his friend see the error of his ways, honestly why would Nunchucks think that was gay? That was probably the most hetero thing in the history of ponykind.
Thunderlane slid to a stop directly in front of the elevators. He pressed the up button with his hoof and stood there playing mental Boggle with himself while he awaited the elevator's arrival.
The elevator arrived at his floor, its doors opening with a loud ding, and out stepped fourteen clowns, three magicians, twenty small children, and a camel.
"Hmm, must be the boss's birthday," once the elevator was empty Thunderlane cartwheeled in and pressed all of the buttons above his floor while screaming,"PRESS ALL OF THE BUTTONS!"
Realizing his mistake, Thunderlane pushed the "open door" button and stepped out of the elevator. Sighing, he moved on to the next one and pressed up again. When the elevator arrived the doors opened, and forty-seven midgets ran out.
"I have no explanation for that," said Thunderlane before walking into the elevator and pressing the button for the top floor. On the way up he found himself dancing to the elevator music, an elevator remix of Smells Like Teen Spirit. Before he knew it the door opened and the secretary saw him shaking his money maker to the rhythm of the song. He blushed and rushed past the secretary towards the boss's office, he stopped in front of a door that simply said "Caramel C.E.O" he was about to barge in when he heard something.
It sounded like Caramel was on the phone with their best customer, Twilight Sparkle. He listened closely to the conversation, faintly hearing something about "firing Thunderlane" probably not important.
The phone call ended. Thunderlane opened the door and tackled Caramel to the ground, angrily pressing his lips against his boss's left flank. Caramel threw Thunderlane off of him.
"What is the meaning of this," yelled Caramel.
"Boss, I'm here to kiss your flank, just like Nunchucks said."
Caramel blushed furiously, losing any and all anger he had. Suddenly Caramel tackled thunderlane and began ruthlessly kissing him, sliding his tongue in and out of Thunderlane's mouth.
Wow thought Thunderlane to himself, Caramel must really appreciate me barging into his office like that, hell it looks like he's so thankful he's about to have sex with me.
Thunderlane playfully bit Caramel's lip, staring lustfully into his eyes. Caramel responded by slowly kissing Thunderlane's neck, eliciting many a giggle from the Nirvana fan.
Caramel slowly kissed his way down Thunderlane's stomach, eventually reaching his already rock hard member. He lightly kissed the tip, smiling when Thunderlane moaned from the incredible burst of pleasure. Caramel slowly took the hard cock into his mouth, his tongue lightly poking at Thunder's penis hole. Caramel took the entire throbbing member into his mouth moving into a sixty-nine position, allowing the massive member to slide down his throat much easier.
Taking advantage of this new position, Thunderlane decided to return the favor, and he grabbed Caramel's pulsating pony penis, and puckered his lips, slowly drawing the dripping dick into his open mouth.
They laid there for what seemed like hours, sucking each other off. Thunderlane and Caramel both knew they were extremely close to orgasm, as their cocks twitched in each other's mouths, they moaned in delight as each of them blasted wave after wave of hot sticky semen and sperm down the other pony's esophagus. Eventually they couldn't swallow each other's massive load, and a shower of sperm smothered them both.
They laid there, panting and covered in cum. Thunderlane recovered first, slowly rising to his hooves albeit a bit shakily. He wiped some cum off his face and looked down at Caramel.
"I don't know about you, but that was the straightest thing I've ever done."
Caramel winked at Thunderlane.
"Totally not gay."
