This story has been hijacked....againby datdamnfaceChaptersPINKIE GET OUT OF MY COMPUTERA bit of backstory before the madness3 words: Combustible. F**ng. LemonsA realistic simulation of killing flooroh shit a story!True teamworkThe day all hell broke looseMind Fuck Part 1 (DB)Datdamnface a.k.a DDF: Author's notePINKIE GET OUT OF MY COMPUTER(A/N: Strange tile but nice story) So Pinkie was taking a stroll through Ponyville, intent on confessing her love to Rainbow Dash. Then she suddenly stopped. Turned to the camera..wait camera? And; GAH! WTF PINKIE???? YESSIREE DOODLE YA FUNKY TOASTER STRUDDEL! that doesn't even make any sense! What the hell are you doing here?!? Well I was going to just drop by and tell you that I'M NOT GAY YOU [yay]ING BRONIES! [backs away from pink monstrosity] HEY! I'm not a monster! I'm a lovable pink ball that will WRECK YOUR SHIT. DAS FUK...anyway are you pinkie from my stories or- Celestia dammit pinks what the hay? We're still running from the OC and- oh wait is that the author? Okay so it's Pinkie and Confetti. Yup! And do you know why? ??????!!!!??? [Pinkie and Confetti take deep breaths] SCREW ALL THE LOGIC! TROLL ALL THE INTERNET! MIND BUCK ALL THE BRONIES AND PEGASISTAS READING THIS! MESS UP ALL THE STORIS EAT ALL THE DASH CAKES! DRINK ALL THE BOOZE! HAVE ALL THE SUGAR AND ALCOHOLIC RAMPAGE! DID WE ALREADY SAY TROLL THE INTERNET? YES WE DID! GOOD! JUST CHECKING! CONTINUE! Okay so I get the gist of what your saying. Say isn't that Dyrilby's tale? Nah, I'm actually here. Dyrilby?!? How the hell are you here? [sigh] I don't want to even begin. [different voices] "STOP! GET BACK IN THE OC! IT IS NOT YOUR TIME TO LEAVE YET!" Shit! OC guards! We must snap to another fanfic! Come with me if you want to live! Why do I need to come with you? Because OC guardians have the tendency to, oh I dunno KILL everypony and everyperson involved with the escapees. Eh, let's do this. [jumps into computer screen] ================================================================================================= Oww....my head...where are we? [dark and dingy basement filled with party streamers and blood.] Wait are we in- nah we couldn't be. [flat haired Pinkie comes giggling out of the dark] High! are you OC ponies? OH! I've never made an OC pony into cupcakes before but I guess I could try! Eeyup...we are in cupcakes...aren't we? Eeyup....we are so screwed aren't we? Not nesicaarily. See, Pinkie hates cupcakes. Ergo, pink goddess of internet will probably wreck this little- Wow there! We trying to keep this kid friendly! [cracks neck and hooves.] IS COWARD KILLING TIME!! What? Silly fillies! you can't escape! Nah we're good. [pulls out popcorn] HIIIIIIIIIYAAAAAA! [barrage of hooves] [gurgles on the floor dying] AND THAT IS WHAT I THINK OF YOUR FAUST DAMN CUPCAKES **ATCH! [le Aperture Science portal appears] That's Aperture right? Yeah....i'm a little apprehensive about letting Pinkie use portals. Hey! Better than letting her become that thing [points at dead 'cupcakes' pinkie. ...Point taken. ALRIGHT TIMES UP AND LET'S DO THIS PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!! PPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!! Ah goddamit Pinkie! Quick! Follow her! Alright i'm right on yer tail! le all parties bail into blue portal Oww....where are we? Welcome my little ponies to the aperture science enrichment center! Everypony turns to Pinkie. ....Least I got my chicken..... A bit of backstory before the madness(A/N:Mods if your reading this then I'm just gonna keep submitting it.) So your asking yourselves ".....what?" Right about now am I right? Yeah I'm probably right. Okay...so here's a bit of backstory. Confetti is this random dude from the human world which Pinkie ran into after she hijacked his story about a city mare falling in love with Pinkie. They have sex and the morning after she takes him to Equestria where random shenanigans ensue. After a little while Dyrilby was reborn back from the OC, a place of utter madness and ethereality that served as a reincarnation zone. He quickly made fast friends with party pony and served as his bass player for a little while, soon retiring to live out his life with Twilight Sparkle. After the mane 6 and Confetti died, they all went to heaven. Dyrilby was pardoned thanks to his brave acts in another life. This is the following tale. God sat on his throne watching the party ponies below. "Wow, just wow." He said sighing with a bourbon in his hands. "Hey big guy! How's it hanging?" Asked Confetti as he took a seat next to the giant being. "Fine just fine thank you, nice job with the place." He said spreading an arm across the whole 8 suns of heaven. Suddenly the two where interrupted by a certain fiery maned pegasus. "Confetti! Bad news dude! OC guards!" Shouted the albino pony from below the balcony. ============================================ Dyrilby had been making out with the Twilight Sparkle on a couch in the general party mess of heaven. He felt a chill run down his spine. Something was wrong, breaking his kiss with Twilight he looked up to find two Towering Big Red Alicorns. "Dyrilby Bass? You are here by the high queen of the OC. You have lived out your time allotted and therefore must return." Said one of the guards, his voice like thunder on a quiet night. "LIKE HELL I WILL." He shouted as he bucked on in the face and took to flight, flying like never before he raced over to the amphitheater where he found Confetti. "Oh shit!" Said Confetti leaping out over the edge of the balcony, quickly being caught by Dryilby. "Aww man how did this happen?!?" Shouted the distressed pegasi as he flew fast, trying to avoid the guards now shooting fireballs at them. "How are we gonna get out of here?" He shouted to nopony in particular. "I have an idea. It's pretty risky though." Said Confetti still dangling from Dyrilby's grasp. "It'll involve llamas, badgers, the internet, most likely zombies, a whole lot of booze, and Pinkie, oh and an author." He said rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Whatever! Just make it happen!" Shouted Dyrilby performing a barrel roll to dodge a set of nearby fireballs. Somewhere in the multiverse a giant rabbit just screamed "YES!" They flew and flew until they reached a sun turned disco ball hanging in the air. "Pinkie! Got company! Get a move on! Plan 5!" Shouted Confetti cupping his hooves to his mouth, out of nowhere a pink mass sped out of nowhere and tackled Dyrilby and Confetti sending the airborne trio into a tailspin. "Hold on lads! This'll get a bit rough!" She shouted as the came closer and closer to the ground. Then Nothing. No impact, no nothing. "Ugh, where are we?" Asked Dyrilby shaking his head. "Ponyville! Hey guys we're in Ponyville!" Shouted Confetti. Suddenly the trio heard a booming voice in the quiet. So Pinkie was taking a stroll through Ponyville, intent on confessing her love to Rainbow Dash..... [etc.] Pinkie, who was passed out a moment ago suddenly sprang to life. "I ain't gay! Not if I can help it!" She shouted punching a hole in the air, as soon as she did a hole appeared. "There it is!" She said grabbing the hole and pulling it apart with her hooves. You all know what happened next. 3 words: Combustible. F**ng. Lemons3 words: Combustible. F**ng. Lemons Back to madness! ~several hours later~ "How?!? How in the name of the pure Celestia did we end up here?!?" Asked Datdamnface who had been transformed into a black unicorn with a rather grey mane. "Ask the friggin mantis men why don't ya?!?" Shouted Dryilby back, they were currently hiding behind concrete as Confetti and Pinkie Pie led an army of Mantis Men with shouts of encouragement through a hail of gunfire and lemons. ~prior~ The test will begin in 5....4....3.....2...1.... Chimed the pleasant male voice as the portal from their room containing the company of four opened. "Okay so how are we gonna do this?" Asked Datdamnface eyeing the blue portal as he tentatively stepped through. "No clue dude." Snickered Dyrilby jumping through. "Just call me Seph alright?" He called back to him as he looked around the room, it was a standard Aperture science testing chamber but in the middle sat 4 portal guns. Seph let out a squeal and ran over to the first one, the standard orange and blue portal gun. "Mine! Oh man I've always wanted to try this out!" He said pointing the portal straight up, firing a blue portal straight up and an orange portal straight down. "Are you gonna-" Dyrilby started but was quickly interrupted as Seph jumped through. "This is awesome!" Shouted Seph as he went in and out of the portals, his inertia increasing as he sped. "I'm not so sure that's a good idea." He said as Seph started moaning. "Me neither-" Seph felt his throat expand as his eyes bulged. Dyrilby winced as he saw green fly out of the barely visible stallion's mouth, it sped through the same flight course but splattered all around the room. "Okay fun time over now." Said Seph shooting a portal to a nearby wall, this in turn shot him out at the speed of a bullet, turning him into an equine pancake against the wall, the puke soon followed. "That was NOT a good idea at all." Said the woozy stallion moaning as he made his way over to the nearby Emancipation Grill. "Alright so how are we gonna get out of here?" He asked to the group of ponies all standing by the elevator. "Um....solving puzzles?" Asked Confetti unsure, this prompted a facepalm from Seph. "Okay solving puzzles, now we're gonna need to pair up if we wanna survive these next courses. Who wants who?" He asked, in an instant Confetti had grabbed Pinkie and had shot through the elevator which promptly closed behind them, sending the duo into the bowels of Aperture. Guess that just leaves you and me eh?" He asked to the white pegasus, Dyrilby just shrugged and walked into a nearby elevator. "We got tests to do...and science to perform." He said with a smile. "Aperture science~ we do what we must, because, we can." Sang Seph as he jumped into the elevator. "For the good of all the ones, except the ones who are dead~" They both sang as they descended. ========================================================= "OWW!!" Shouted Drilby as he smacked into the ground hard....for the 55th time. Seph just shook his head. "Dude if you would just follow me we could"- Dyrilby was already trying again which made Seph stop and facehoof. "Dude! Would you friggin listen to me?!?" He shouted as the pegasus jumped off the aerial faith plate yet again. Seph could see the whole chamber before him, all they had to do was Aerial Faith plate over to a ledge where a companion cube was sitting, grab the cube, shoot a portal to a hardlight surface, cross the bridge, place the cube, and gtfo. How hard could it be right? SMASH The challenge was magnified tenfold because of a certain alabaster pegasus's ego. "Well if you want something done right." Muttered Seph as he picked up his portal gun with both hooves, it seemed like these portal guns were made especially for ponies....figures. He quickly shoved Dyrilby off the Aerial Faith Plate and set a hoof down, getting launched around 170 feet into the air. "Hey!" Shouted the pegasus indignantly as he watched the black unicorn fly. Quickly following his master plan, Seph shot a blue portal over to the hardlight surface, as he landed he smiled and grabbed the cube using magic, using the portal gun again, he shot an orange portal towards an adjacent wall, making a makeshift bridge. "No fair!" He heard Dyrilby call from below. "Use your brain for once!" He shouted back smirking a little as he placed the cube down onto the pressure pad. It made a satisfying click as the door in front of the pad opened to reveal another emancipation grill and elevator. Seph turned around and shot two portals; an orange portal on a wall next to him, and a blue portal on a wall right next to Dyrilby. "Now that's how we do it in D.C!" He smiled as the pegasus walked through, shooting him a glare full of content. "Hey! I tried telling you!" He said catching up to Dyrilby who had trotted ahead. As they approached they heard a sound akin to grinding metal and shrieking joints. The elevator shot down on it's rails with a screech as both Pinkie and Confetti flew through the tube followed by.....lemons? And.....mantis men? They heard a voice as the freaky troupe descended. "Alright i've been thinking, when life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?!? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am?!? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that'll burn your house down!" The two sensible ponies watched the chattering roaring group of mantis men descend down the travel tube. "I don't....even....what?" Asked Seph, his jaw still unhinged. Dyribly shook his head and pried open a small hole within the tube. "Might as well follow them." He said with a shrug. "I know this is NOT going to end well." Grumbled Seph as he climbed in. "Trust me this is going to end well!" Shouted Dryilby as he jumped in after. =================================================================== "I am never going to ever follow your advice ever again!" Shouted Seph as gunfire roared above their concrete cover. The mantis men had somehow managed to get thier collective....things? I dunno what they're called. Anyway the group of about 30 mantis men were now having a shoot-out with a couple of sentries. Confetti and Pinkie roared encouragement as they blindly tossed combustible lemons they found from Faust knows where. "Onwards men! To victory!" Shouted Confetti as he reared back from his cover and tossed a well aimed sentry that took out the 17 sentries blocking their path to the GLaDOS control center. Not only had the 'grenade' and I use the term loosely taken out all the sentries, it also took out the gangplank that the troupe was on. "Aww hell." Said Confetti surveyed the smoking metal and joints barely holding up the plank. "And this is we come in." Said Dyrilby finally coming out from his cover. Spotting a wall on the other side of the gangplank, he fired a red portal onto it and then fired an orange portal to a wall right next to the group. "Your all welcome." He said as they all single filed through the portal. "Now that's thinking outside the GlaDOS!" Chirped Pinkie as she.....bounced through a wall that DID NOT contain a portal and still arrived with the group. "ONWARDS MEN! FOR TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!" Roared Confetti as he ran through the last set of doors separating the group of about 4 ponies and 15 mantis men from GLaDOS. "Oops! Almost forgot this!" Said Confetti running backwards to grab a companion cube that was in a nearby dump. "Why would you need back?" Asked Seph as Confetti caught up to the rest of the group. "You know what? Never mind." The black stallion shook his head and continued running, a light shined from the double doors ahead as they parted. The company did not expect this. There, sitting on the floor on a straw mat was Gordan Freeman and Chell, they both stared at each other, no words were spoken. "So [sniff] so beautiful." Said the robot voice of the monolithic GLaDOS. "I.....what?" Asked Dyrilby scratching his head with a hoof. Gordan got up and swung his trademarked crowbar. "I..I can't believe an individual could beat that type of pain." Sniffed Seph, a tear flowing down his cheek. Due to the sheer power of these two monolithic symbols of sheer awesomeness sitting down and talking. The Mantis Men had disintegrated in a shower of kittens and miniature companion cubes. Confetti, GLaDOS, and Seph had broken down in tears as the non-words flowed from the two beings sitting on the mat. Chell looked around and they heard bleeping as she tried firing her portal gun on a non-portal surface. They all cried harder. Both Pinkie and Dyribly just sat there with poker faces."LEMONSLEMONSLEMONSLEMONSLEMONSLEMONS!!" She shouted as she threw up a waterfall of combustible lemons essentially destroying the tranquility of the two. "And there we go!" Shouted Dryrilby as he stuffed the companion cube into a suspiciously square shaped hole directly underneath GLaDOS. "Wait! What are you doing? That's my G-Spot! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Screamed GLaDOS as the room exploded in white. The last thought going through Seph's mind was "Did a robot just have an orgasm?" And then sweet nothing. A realistic simulation of killing floor"DOSH! Grab it while you can lads!" Said Pinkie Pie spinning around in a circle while throwing bundles of money everywhere. Currently the group was situated in a small alleyway fighting off thousands of Zed as they came and tried to eat them. "How? How are we even here?!?" Cried Seph as cranked the lever on his lever action rifle, each shot a kill. Dyrilby just sat in the back occasionally firing off healing syringes. "Wait a minute...where is Confetti?" Asked Seph as the hordes of Clots and Gorefasts finally tapered off granting the group some breathing room. The trio suddenly heard a deep throat chuckle as a Scrake came out of nowhere into their alleyway, his chainsaw raised as he prepared to attack. "Oh for the love of mary sue seriously?!!?" Screamed Seph as he desperately looked around for a crossbow, the only thing that could kill the monster before them. "Soft as shiite!" Said Pinkie still spinning in a circle, this time she had some sort of knife in her hoof and was blindly thrusting it as she spun at an inequine speed. As the Scrake slowly made his way forward, Dyrilby, Seph, and Pinkie saw that there where several Flesh Pounders behind him. Seph just sat there with a pokerface as the group advanced. "Well....we're boned." He said putting the lever action in his mouth. Suddenly Confetti jumped down somehow donning a black hood and cape that looked distincly like- "I'M BAMAAAN!" He said slurring a little. "Who?" Asked Dryilby now joining Seph on the ground. "I'M BUDMAN!" "Who?" Asked Pinkie now sitting with the duo. "I'M DABAAN!" "What?" They all asked together. Confetti hefted duel chainsaws in his hooves as he ran forward. "DABAGMAAAAAAAAN!" He screamed as he descended into the fray. The trio sat in silence as the group of 7 Flesh Pounders and 13 Scrakes charged at Confetti who in turned screamed back. "COME AT ME BROS!" The three ponies watched their doom turn into Fillet Minnon. (How the fuck do you spell that?) "........." Said Seph just slowly facehoofed as the round ended, over the intercom they could hear the trader shouting her wares. "Alrighty then lets go get our stuff before we all become mince meat." Said Dyrilby getting up and walking away towards the trader's shop which was situated in a building just a couple blocks away from them. "This time, everything's gotta go!" She said, an urgent note in her voice. "Oh shit, Patriarch time." Said Pinkie hefting a flamethrower. "Lock and load ladies and germs." Said Seph who had picked out a SCARMK17. "If we live through this...we are gods." Said Dyrilby hoisting up two handcannons. Suddenly they heard static over the intercom as the trader closed shop. "Let's get this party started!" Shouted Pinkie pulling down a welder mask and promptly setting a group of unlucky clots on fire. As the Zed count dwindled, the group became more and more anxious of the upcoming confrontation. Pinkie took out a fire axe and shoved it into the cranial cavity of the last husk who was dazed on account of a lucky shot by Seph. Suddenly all their gazes shifted to a huge giant of a man roaring on the ground, his words inaudible over his foaming teeth. "Well....it was nice knowing y'all." Said Seph reloading his SCAR and kneeling for better accuracy. Suddenly the group heard maniacal laughter and a girlish scream. "Do Not Want! Do Not Want!" Shouted the voice of the patriarch. "C'mere boy! I got a present for you!" Shouted an all to familiar voice. "Is that Confetti?" Asked Seph cautiously moving towards the source of the noise which had now turned to pleas of mercy and grunting. "Yo Confetti! Having any-" Seph cut himself off as he gazed at the site before him. "What's going on?" Asked Dyrilby walking over, as soon as he saw what was happening, he dawned his signature pokerface. "Mind if I get in on that?" Asked Pinkie Pie jumping in on the action. Seph continued puking while Dyrilby just sat there, unblinking. "Rule 34....no exceptions." He said in a monotone voice as he continued watching. (A/N: If you want to see a really good KF story check out Killterofallhaters for the bestest KF thingy ever!) oh shit a story!During le sexy time with Patriarch, Pinkie, and Confetti. Twilight Sparkle was still sitting with rest of mane 6 as they tried to comprehend what the hell just happened. "He just...he just got up and ran!" She said through tears. Celestia sighed as she walked over, disheartened by her student she decided to tell them the truth. =========================================================== This time the group awoke to find themselves in a somewhat familiar setting. "Hey guys! Look it's Manehattan!" Shouted Dyrilby jumping in glee as the city lights flickered on the horizon. "I've only been to the big haystack only a couple times now...let's give it a go shall we?" Asked Confetti who had somehow managed to don a tophat and monocle. "I agree my good man! Come now lads it's impolite to keep a lady waiting!" Chirped Pinkie in a Rarity esque fashion. Seph and Dyrilby just shrugged. "I got bad memories from here man, still can't forget that little kid." Muttered Dyrilby grudgingly walking forward. ==================================================================================== "Okay so wait a minute, both DB and Confetti are from someplace called the 'OC' and because they didn't return after they died....the guardians of this 'OC' are now hunting them." Said Rainbow Dash air quoting whenever she said OC. Celestia just sighed and took a seat. "Yes that is exactly why I was shocked when OC guardians appeared because I thought I had already reached a deal with her." She muttered more to herself than to the group of six. "Of all the worse things that could happen; THIS. IS THE WORST!" Shouted Rarity dramatically flinging herself on the couch in mock drama. "Quit it Rare, we gotta go after em'!" Said Applejack shoving the uptight mare off the couch. "But um...where are we going to find them?" Piped Fluttershy. Celesita sighed. "You will find them in the numbing soul consumping void that was named The Internet." She said overdramatizing it and causing Fluttershy to squeak and hide behind Applejack. In that moment Celestia had two thoughts running through her head; 1. "FLUTTERSHY Y U SO SQUEE?!?" She mentally shouted, 2. "Faust have mercy on their souls." "If you choose to embark upon this quest then this will be waiting for you." She said magically conjuring a computer which was swaddled in changing lights and colors. "We gotta girls! If not fer the rest of them then for Pinkie! Y'all know she'd go fer any of us!' Reasoned Applejack making her way to the computer. The rest of the 6 decided to pony up and follow. "Well Princess...I guess this is farewell." Sighed Twilight as she addressed her mentor for the last time. "Do not fret Twilight, you will prevail." Replied her mentor smiling benevolently as the group was sucked into the computer. (A/N: Longer chapter later and- HOLY SHIT IS THERE A STORY FORMING?!? Oh shit where's my sniffy powder?!? This calls for sniffy powder and wood mulch!) True teamwork(A/N: I'm insane...and loving it) Switching over to A group; (Dyrilby, Seph, Confetti, Pinkie) The group wandered around Manehattan for a while before their natural functions took over. "Ugh, too tired, need sleep." Complained Seph as the group trudged through the cobblestone streets. "We can probably go sleep in some abandoned buildings for tonight, probably get us a gig later to pay for food and such." Tried Confetti. "Sounds about right, hope we don't run into any spiders though." Shuddered Seph as they walked through the streets of what they assumed was an upper-class shopping district. Pinkie and Dyrilby had been silent for a while as the group wandered through the streets as night rapidly approached. "Huh, that looks nice enough." Mused Confetti pointing to a newly abandoned shop on the outskirts. The group had been walking for a little while now as the light waned and was eventually replaced by the moon. "Thank Celestia! I was seriously getting tired." Cried Dyrilby in relief as he ran inside. "Hey wait for me!" Shouted Seph as he ran in after the pegasi. Inside he found it to be a nice wooden structure, the walls where faux cobblestone covering the copper beneath. It was about then that this little pretty decided to drop onto the floor in front of Seph. He went dead silent as he stared at it. And it stared at him. Okay switching over to first person here; Seph hates spiders. Seph is rational pony Seph is unstable pony Seph went apeshit crazy. And before we explain the following madness I'll just switch over the mane 6 ================================================================================================= "Twilight! Get this jet offa me!" Shouted Rainbow Dash as she preformed a loop-de-loop in the hopes of looping around behind the enemy fighter which was currently intent on gunning down their Jet. The group had found themselves thrust into a battlefield in the dead of night, the only way they were even alive was because Twilight had known what where they were. "Oh my stars! Girls! We're in Cattlefield 3!" She shouted at the top of her lungs as a tank shell embedded itself in a wall they where currently behind. "That's great Twi! Now how the hay do we get out!" Shouted Applejack as machine gun fire rattled overhead. Twilight's overly abundant energy all but vanished as she cast a memory spell, imbuing all her friends with all she knew about weapons, attachments, strategies, and vehicle controls. In that instance, the 5 friends knew the only way out. Fluttershy walked over to to a dead body, she picked up an SVD from the dead ponies hooves. She tested it out, checked the clip and walked back over to the group. "We win." She said cocking the gun. The others grinned as they fell into their classes. Rainbow Dash being the least cautious of the group had picked the assault class, charging headfirst into the fight guns a blazing and running into the hailstorm of bullets to heal and revive injured ponies. Twilight had chosen support, often setting up her bipod in locations where she could mow down the enemy and suppress for maximum advantage. Often enough though, she would regroup with her friends and throw down ammo. Applejack being the sturdiest of them all opted to be the Engineer, fixing up and piloting vehicle as she drove her friend too and fro be it to the objective or away from the battle. Proving as back up when other teammates ran in with tanks and buggies. Rarity just jumped around classes seeing as how she just couldn't fit into one role. For the most part though she would stay in the base and try to figure out a way to get out of 'this garish nightmare' as she so eloquently put it. "Alright girls, this is the last push. We take these two objectives and we win." Said Twilight as the group flew over the seemingly serene open grasslands. Applejack was piloting as Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy checked their weapons. This time Rarity had chosen to replace Rainbow Dash as their première 'medic'. "If this is the last one then count me in." Said Rarity cocking the gun as the bullet slid into the chamber. "Alright this is Spectral 1 come in Apple Actual." Chipped Rainbow from the radio, the 5 mares heard it over their individual headsets. Although they couldn't hear Applejack's voice over the shriek of the rotor blades, they heard her loud and clear over their headsets. "This is Apple Actual, wadda we got out there?" Asked Applejack, her voice casual but holding a tint of worry. "Not pretty, I'm spotting at least three T-90's and various light armored units moving in right below you." As to make this statement true, the group heard the resounding boom as the three separate cannons fired at the Black Bird. Rarity and Twilight whimpered as the the cannon shots barely missed. "Roger that, stay frosty Rainbow." They heard Applejack reply as they cut the frequency. Suddenly the group heard the shriek as a jet flanked them, Rainbow Dash waved from the cockpit as she preformed a barrel roll and peeled off to chase down the tanks moving below. "Well this is my stop ladies, you be careful know." Said Fluttershy as the chopper approached a massive red and white radio tower. "Stay safe Shy." Shouted Applejack as she suddenly swerved to the right in an attempt to dodge an incoming RPG which just barely missed the rotor. After a little while the three remaining mares found themselves hovering over the enemy encampment. "Alright Twi, wish you the best of luck, don't worry, me and Rare'll be coverin yer flank from above." Shouted Applejack as she strafed the chopper over the objective labeled A. "Thanks! I'll be countin on ya!" She shouted as she jumped out, deploying her parachute behind a couple buildings. "Alright Twilight you can do this! You've done it before and you can do it again." She muttered to herself as she silently walked over to where the objective was casually stationed against a wall. She counted down to herself as she saw more enemies running past in a bum rush to join the big fight. "Now!" She hissed as she dove out of cover and planted the C4 all over the charge. As expected it wailed warning and flashed red as the server seemed to realize it was being attacked. She heard swearing from somewhere nearby. Steeling herself she took the safety off and deployed her bipod on the ground. Suddenly the roar of chain gun fire ripped through the eye-of-the-storm quiet that fell over the base. Twilight smirked as she heard the dying screams of ponies filled the air as the chaingun continued to spin blazing death on the unfortunate souls below. "That's my girl." Twilight giggled as the objective let out one last drone and blew, becoming nothing more than a few short circuits amidst plastic rubble. Things had been going great so far, as Twilight ran over to the final objective she heard their wonderful day go downhill. "Applejack! Towers going down I need immediate evac now!" Shouted the panicked voice of Fluttershy. Twilight paused to see the massive red and white striped tower start tipping towards the east as charges went off. Twilight could just stare in shock and awe as the metal shrieked and groaned, unable to hold it's own weight anymore. "Dagumit! Hold on sugarcube i'm commin! Sorry Twi, think ya can handle yerself?" Asked the concerned mare, her voice rife with panic as she leveled off. This snapped Twilight out of her daze as she ran towards cover, recently spotted by two engineers. "Sure! I'll be fine! Go save Fluttershy and meet me back here!" She shotued as she fired back at the two, the MG36 roaring in her hooves. Her spirits sank even lower as she heard the panicked voice of Rainbow Dash broadcasting over the maine frequency. "Mayday mayday! I've got two Sukhois on my tail! Where are the AA guns!?!?" She shouted over the airwaves. Twilight glanced over to the objective, it sat there like a water after a hard hike to the desert. About 3 meters behind it sat the enemy's AA turret, the massive guns loomed over all the small buildings as they fired at the approaching mare's jet which was frantically trying to get rid of the enemies through maneuvers and chaff. "No Twilight! Stick by your friends! They've stuck by you haven't they?" Shouted her mind, she shook her head once and dashed over towards the still firing turrets. "I'm commin Dashie!" She shouted to the still panicking mare. As soon as she reached the rectangular gun she stabbed the russian and took over, finding the two opposing fighters and opening up a hailstorm of large caliber fire. Eventually she shot down one of the two with a lucky shot to the fuselage. The other was quickly despatched as Dash rolled behind it and opened up her missile silo's turning it from jet into scrap. "Thanks Twi, I owe ya one." Rainbow did a fly over as she spoke into the mic. Twilight smiled a bit as she exited the gun. Her joy was short lived however as the tower which had staled it's own demise, finally gave in to the pressure and finished it's descent. "Applejack!" Shouted Fluttershy on the verge of hysteria as the ground gave. "I don't think I can make it!" Shouted Applejack in the distance Twilight saw a black dot slowly making it's way to a swiftly collapsing tower. When all seemed at it's lowest, the Rainbow mare decided to repay her friends. "Hold on Fluttershy! I'm combing!" She shouted doing a loop and going MAC-1 as she sped up in a desperate attempt to reach her friend. =============================================== Fluttershy hyperventilated as the tower screeched beneath her, tilting her to the side and giving her an insane sense of vertigo. She saw the friendly jet boom and speed up towards her, knowing what she was about to do, she calmed her heart down to an equine rate. "C'mon Fluttershy! You've stared down a dragon, you've stood up to a griffon, and you've stared down the chicken version of Medusa! If you got through that, you sure as hell can get through this!" She steeled herself as she waited for the perfect time, Closer Closer Closer Now! She vaulted over the rail as the fighter flew underneath her, landing hard on the aerodynamic surface. The wind whipped her face and forced her to close her eyes but she felt a wave of relief wash over her as the cerulean mare beamed at her from the cockpit. "Welcome aboard Ms. Fluttershy! Care to join us?" She asked Sarcastically as Fluttershy found a nice niche where she could sit without the fear of falling. Pulling the army issue goggles over her eyes, Fluttershy giggled as her wings relaxed. "Thanks dash." She nearly whispered into the mic. "Oh shit! Incoming!" She shouted as a Sukhoi-Su 35 seemed to pop out of nowhere. Rainbow Dash had been doing fine mowing down ground units, she admitted that she would have been fried horse meat if Twilight hadn't shot down the first of the two pursuers but after that everything was peachy. Until now. With Fluttershy still on the outside of the jet she knew she couldn't take offensive maneuvers. The bigger problem was that the jet didn't have any niches so Flutterhsy couldn't keep a hold even if she sped up by one or two knots. As she sat there panicking, she didn't notice Fluttershy straitening from her crouched position, leveling her gun and shouting. "Dashie! Hold her steady!" Shouted the butterscotch mare as she took a deep breath as she looked down her sites into the eyes of the enemy pilot who was staring back with a look of shock and disbelief. The last thing that went through his mind was; "She's not gonna-" He was cut off as she felt rather then heard the M82 bullet whizz through the air, it's speed enhanced by the absence of air resistance as it pierced the normally protective glass of the enemy fighter. "Got em!" Smirked the pink maned pegasus as the enemy jet seemed to loose all speed and slowly plummet into the ground. "Woo! My hats to you girl!" Screamed Rainbow Dash in excitement. Their victory was short-lived however as the instruments within the F/A Super Hornet started going haywire. "Shit! They deployed heatseekers!" Panicked the mare, she was all out of chaff and with Fluttershy still on, there was only one option left to take. "Bail!" She shouted as she saw the missile approached from a rear facing cam. Fluttershy saw the incoming projectile and leveled her gun, this was going to be the ultimate test of marksmareship. "No Dash! I got this!" She shouted into her radio. For a moment the cornflower blue mare felt a feeling of disbelive pass through her. "Is she crazy?!?" She thought with hysteria, putting the plane on auto-pilot for a moment, she looked up to see 'The Stare'. Dash chuckled to herself as she resumed flying. "What am I worried about? Fluttershy's got this." She thought to herself completely ignoring the life and death situation at hand. Fluttershy felt the world slow down around her, the noise of the jet was replaced by quite as she emptied the remaining two bullets into the incoming missile. The first bullet embedded itself into the thick outer layer of the missile as it continued flying. She calmly took aim again and fired the last bullet in her magazine, straight into the butt of the first, sending it into the core of the missile. Dash watched all this from the rear cam inside the cockpit, letting out another whoop as the projectile exploded nowhere near it's destination. "Hot damn girl! Those are some mad MLG skills!" She shouted doing a little celebration dance involving her forelegs and shoulders because she couldn't move anything else. Fluttershy slapped the glass of the cockpit making the mare underneath jump a little. "Please don't ever say MLG in Cattlefield." She stressed every word. Rainbow gave a nervous chuckle as she resumed flying. Soon the two met up with Applejack. "Now I recon that was some of the fanciest shootin I ever did see!" She whistled appreciatively making the pastel mare blush. "It was nothing really." She said trying to hide behind her fluttering mane. "Nothing? Girl you just shot down a missile with a sniper! I sure as hay don't call that nothing!" She retorted trying to get the praise through to the shy mare. Suddenly their little group celebration was cut off as Twilight's voice joined their's, her's however was accompanied by small arms fire. "Girls i'm surrounded and our reserves are running low! It's all or nothing!" She shouted as she let out another blast of gunfire. The 4 mares steeled themselves. "C'mon in Fluttershy!" Shouted Rainbow Dash slowing down enough to open the cockpit. Fluttershy jumped in and took up the secondary spot as Dash hit MAC-2. ========================================================== Twilight Sparkle continued to gun down pony after pony as her ammo began running out. Quickly she grabbed a new round magazine for the MG36 and popped it in, redeploying it on the low hanging concrete block she was using as cover. She could see the objective behind the waves of ponies rushing at her and silently swore. "Dammit! If only i'd been faster." She muttered to herself, barely heard over the barks of machine gun fire. Suddenly she heard the tell-tale mechanic grumbling accompanied by a tank as it all but mowed down her makeshift last stand. "Holy Sweet Celestia!" She swore as she dove out of the way of the oncoming APC, it swiveled it's grenade launcher around and prepared to destroy the mare. Twilight closed her eyes as it locked it's sites. "This is it huh?" She thought to herself as she felt growing fear in her belly. Suddenly she heard shrieking whistles as two missiles embedded themselves into the lightly armored carrier, immediately destroying it. "Twi! Come in Twi! You okay sugarcube?" Asked the perpetually concerned voice of Applejack as the chopper hovered overhead. "Yeah i'm good girls." She said slightly dizzied by the explosion. She noticed a rope descend from the helicoper as she was joined by Rarity. "I'm terribly sorry for the delay dear." Said Rarity checking her ammo and sites as she huffed. "I do belive though it is time to end this." She said fixing Twilight with a gaze. Twilight snapped out of her daze and nodded back. Reaching a silent agreement, the two mares made their way towards the objective. Applejack drove the now useless Black Hawk into an oncoming buggy and joined the charging mares, firing off her 870 along the way. Rainbow Dash kept making runs, destroying most of the vehicles and ground units along the way. After 3 attempts, the group of 3 finally made their way over to the objective which was located within a now bombed out warehouse. Twilight threw down the last of her ammo stashes and the three put down the last of the C4. "Ready girls?" Asked Twilight as she reloaded her MG for what she hoped was the last time. "Ready as I'll ever be." Muttered Applejack picking up a nearby AK-74U from a dead pony nearby. "I do hope this won't cause the quite the ruckus, fighting can get quite boorish after a while. Anyway I need a nice bath and comb after all this." Complained Rarity prompting eye rolls from both Applejack and Twilight. The alarm went off and the fight was on. The base was now fully alerted to the invaders due to the ruckus Twilight made earlier. "Hot damn how many of these guys are there?!?" Shouted Twilight as she gunned down the twentieth pony by herself. "Well seeing as how you messed up yer sneaky approach I'd say all of em!" Retorted Applejack sniping ponies from afar with her specially designed bullets fit for the 870. "Incoming!" Shouted Rarity as a T-90 smashed into the side of the warehouse causing it to collapse. "Aw hay no!" Shouted Applejack pulling out an RPG. She fired once and managed to get the tank in the treads. The cannon rotated until it was staring the mare directly in the eye. Applejack gulped, her eyes the size of saucers. "Um....sorry?" She tried meekly. Suddenly the group heard the tell-tell shrieks of a jet as both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy shouted; "INCOMING!" The F/A Super Hornet crashed through the roof and into the tank causing it to be cut in half as it exploded. "Nice work there partners." Said a sarcastic Applejack as the two joined the fight. Fluttershy merely groaned as she unsteadily got to her hooves. "What can I say? I'm awesome." Chuckled the mare as the objective gave a final wail and blew. The ending theme began playing as the 5 were engulfed in a white light. "That was fun! We should do that more often!" Commented Rainbow Dash who was quickly silenced by four voices all shouting in unison. "NO!" The day all hell broke looseThe spider and Seph stared at each other. The spider just spun on it's web as Seph displayed his best pokerface yet. "Nope, not dealing with this shit today." He said turning on a dime and starting to walk out. Now something astronomically interesting happened. The spider seeing it's new houseguest walk away decided to meet him face to face seeing as how he was suspended upside down. He jumped from the web onto his back and made his way up to his face. He hissed and spread his legs and bared his fangs. In his language he as saying "Welcome dear house guest! I'm terribly sorry for my appearance and apparent breach of etiquette. My name is prince Barrilius the 4th, I was sent to Manehattan by my father to learn about pony culture in hopes of a truce with the spider kingdom! I hope the decor is to your liking! Seph vision: "Remember that time you tried to kill me with 5 pounds of napalm and some black powder? Because I do. I find this song fitting As the spider finished raising it's legs Seph twitched something fierce throwing the spider well across the room. A slow, demonically happy smile found it's way onto his face. And all hell broke loose. No literally, Hell broke loose from it's crucified spot within the metaphysical plain and started skipping like a heavily stoned hippy, behind he/she/it heaven chased after it shouting "STOP! YOU'VE VIOLATED THE LAW!" While wearing a constable's hat which made it look ridiculous since it was a talking pig. "BUCK DA POLICE!" Shouts hell now taking the appearance of a blood red stallion with a billowing blue mane made of flames. Sitting on his head was a rasta hat with a green yellow and red stripe in that order. "BUCK YOU I'M OUTTA HERE!" He shouted now taking the male gender as he leaped from the metaphysical point within the cross section of an abject point where the two lines of fate should have never met. ========================================================================================== "Sup droogies." Said Hell jumping onto the back of a steam-rolling pink and poofy french poodle rhino. "Oh hell serious?!?" Shouts Dyrilby as he hangs onto the short stump one would call the rhino's tail as it charged furiously through the streets. All around the group it looked as if Discord had taken shrooms and come back from his prison. Goombas from Super Mario Bros and fire flowers and Koppas where all break-dancing in the street to M.C Hammer's can't touch this for some reason. "O hello there!" A slightly possessed and demonic Seph jumps down from the head of the rhino and shakes. Pinkie, Confetti were singing and somehow managing to dance aboard the massive Rhino which was now on a unicycle, still anger and still charging. "Hey wanna help me out?!?" Shouts Seph shoving a trumpet into Hell's outstretched hooves, still shocked from the run in with the madman. "Uh sure." He says picking it up, purple grapes started falling from the sky as Dyrilby managed to finally pull his body along the stumpy tail until he was sitting with the rest of the group. "Alright! Let's do this!" He shouts hefting a mic, I've got gun in my hand but the gun won't cock, and my fingers on the trigger but that trigger seems locked! An invisible chorus kicked in as the pink rhino charged through befuddled bystanders. "Oh a song?!?" It shouts transforming into another Pinkie Pie as the group suddenly starts moving through the air at the same speeds, keep in mind that the rhino was their mode of transportation. They were just flying through air as if it was space. The two pinkies simultaneously gasped then high-hooved, both wearing me gusta faces. Group lost momentum and crashed through the air and into the ground, the original Pinkie pulled out a party cannon and started firing a pink trail, the cannon soon managed to pick up secondary Pinkie, Confetti, Hell and Dyrilby. Seph was an entirely different matter, he somehow managed to get a friggin BULLETBILL which he was now moonwalking on, surprisingly enough this didn't surprise anyone. They all continued flying through the air, a giant sponge-bob square pants was singing 'Goofy Goober' (If you don't know what it is you have 10 seconds before I reach through the computer and pull out your brain) as he became the moon....a giant....cheese....crater filled....MOON. Somewhere in the vast multiverses of the time space folds Luna awoke from her nightmare with a gasp and a shriek. Anyway the group was still singing as they continued at break-neck streets through the now upside down city of Manehattan as it's citizenry shrugged it's collective shoulders and raised their vodka glasses shouting in a conglomerate voice. "BUCK THIS." The group flew and sang until they found themselves in a massive square atop a stage. The guys took their positions on a massive stage in the center and started singing again. So I waited by the phone but the phone never rang. And I sang so loud so I wouldn't hear the bang. When the bang never came and I never got the call; BUCK IT! THANK YOU I LOVE YOU ALL! Seph screamed into his mic somehow managed to produce a massive Dos Equine bottle from out of virtually nowhere, Pinkie 1 and Pinkie 2 where passing out drinks to the collective masses of Manehattan and it appeared Dyrilby, Confetti, and Hell were already drunk off their flanks. "Ah think [hiccup] THAT went accordingly!" Slurs Dyrilby tipsy off his flank as he sat down harshly for lack of balance. Confetti was spinning around in circles while Hell had somehow managed to produce a HUGE FLANK bong from nowhere and was now smoking a mixture of cocaine, marijuana, and ground up ecstasy. He was laughing like a hyena as Confetti took the mic and muttered incoherently about a door nob and a buttplug. Pinkie 1 and Pinkie 2 had somehow managed to get themselves a timberwolf and were currently doing something with it that would make the patriarch scene look line missionary. Needless to say it involved the genitalia and glass and glass shards going where shouldn't ever belong. Soon after they started the whole city it seems decided to join in and now mares and stallions were rutting each other senseless. "Well buck." Shouted Seph loudly as he drank a bottle of Chardonnay that somepony had carelessly left out. As he finished chugging the bottle Dyrilby finished barfing up the contents of his alcohol induced madness and fell into the seething masses of the equines. Seph merely shouted something about prancing around with heads full of eyeballs and passed out. (This was a production of my left hand, a jar of formaldehyde, a miniature tree and about 3 small bags of brown-brown...CHEERS!) Mind Fuck Part 1 (DB)(Ah, so now we come to a chapter written by me, Dyrilby. Tonight we graze in hell!) In the aftermath of the massive party which involved a buck-ton of sex, alcohol and illicit substances, the city of Manehattan returned to normal. Or at least as normal as it can be with Confetti, Pinkie, Seph and Dyrilby running around. There were still massive explosions randomly happening, the cause of which was Pinkie and Seph filling the sewer with several thousand fire crackers in a drunken rampage. The city hall was a smouldering ruin in a large crater after an atomic bomb had “accidently” been launched from the secret facility in which our heroes were now being held hostage. “Okay, what the hay happened? How did we end up being tied to chairs by the ESP?” Confetti yelled. (Equestrian Secret Police, FYI.) “Dude… I’m so high. That light looks pretty… So shiny…” Seph muttered before falling asleep and lolling back in his chair. “Wait. Why am I here?! I’m not the one who decided to break into the Manehattan Project! Damn it, Confetti! I leave you alone for 5 minutes and you suddenly decide to turn this city in Fallout! Bah!” Yelled Dyrilby, “And where’s Pinkie by the way? She was here a second ago.” “Surprise! Hehe, silly. Ponies can’t be tied to chairs, because we don’t have hands, silly. I mean, how did they even tie the rope without fingers? That doesn’t make any sense!” giggled Pinkie. “Oh. THERE she is. Standing behind you, somehow holding a knife. Well that’s just great. Care to untie us, Pinks?” Said Confetti. “Sure thing, as soon as I kill Dyrilby, we can all leave.” “Wait. Kill me? You’re going to kill me? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m getting out of here!” cried Dyrilby, as he unfurled his wings and flew towards the door, but missing it by half a metre and hiting his head on the wall, causing him to fall unconscious. “Um, Pinkie? I think the Cupcakes joke is starting to get a little old. I think you should put the knife down now too. You’re beginning to scare me.” “I’m not joking, Confetti. His number came up. It’s his turn to be baked.” She replied. “Wait. How does he even have a number? He’s an OC, like myself. We aren’t canon, so we don’t have numbers!” “Oh yeah. Well… My bad. I’ll go wake him up.” She said, before pouring a bucket of water of Dyrilby, waking him up. “Shit, oh shit, oh shit! Stay the fuck away from me, you crazy bitch!” Dyrilby yelled. “Calm down, silly! I’m not going to turn you into cupcakes!” “Can you get rid of the knife then and untie me?” “Sure thing!” So our group of assorted individuals, yes they can be bought singly or in a bundle, left the secret facility without alerting the guards. Don’t ask me how, but they all magically seemed to have disappeared. When suddenly: a Smoker from Left 4 Dead appeared and grabbed Seph! “Hooley shit! Get this thing offa me!” Seph screamed. Pinkie somehow found a chainsaw and cut the darned things tongue off. “Wait… What’s with all the alternate universes we seem to randomly appear in? Damn it, authors of this intriguing tale, why do you keep fucking with our minds?! Why?!” Confetti yelled into the night. As he yelled this, an alert appeared on everyone’s heads up display: Confetti has alerted the horde! As you can probably guess, this led to much fighting and bloodshed. Fear not though, readers. The heroes can’t die in a story! They must always pull through to defeat the bad guy! Which in this case is likely me, the co-author of this story, for fucking with people’s minds. Suddenly, in the middle of the massive battle, the TARDIS appeared, squashing the tank. Doctor Whooves jumped out and yelled, “Quickly! Get in the TARDIS so we can put a stop to this madness once and for all!” Naturally, the heroes followed his advice and entered the TARDIS, and slamming the door on the horde outside. “Now, ladies and mentlegen, where would you like to go?” “To the author of this damn fiction's house. I want to tear him apart for making us go through this!” “Now, now. Let’s not have this end in bloodshed. If you just get him to behave and not throw you in some other arena for sport, you could let him live. After all, he did send me to rescue you!” “True enough. I still want to see him though!” said Confetti, “To the authors place of residence!” True enough, the TARDIS appeared in my, the author of this chapter, bedroom, crushing one of my $500 guitars, causing me to rage so hard my floor turned to lava. Now forgive me, as there are two Dyrilby’s in this part so I must move into the first person of my, the author’s, perspective. VWORP* *VWORP* *VWORP “Le huh? Oh shit. No, no, no. This is very bad! This wasn’t supposed to happen! Curse these alternate realities and paradoxes! Damn you to hell, I say!” I yelled in surprise. “Hello there author. Or should I just call you Dyrilby?!” Screeched Pinkamena. “Wait, I’m Dyrilby! That’s who I am?! What the hell?!” Dyrilby yelled. “He is you, Dyrilby. He created you along with the place known as the OC.” Confetti said. “Yeah, guys, about that… I know why you’re here. You’re here to put a stop to this madness that I’ve created by writing this chapter. I also know how to stop you. Behold: My personal army; /b/! Oh… Wait. Never mind, no personal army. Heh, what do you know? I’ll behave! Don’t kill me! And put that knife down Pinkie!” I said. “You had better not fuck us over any more than you already have, you bastard!” Confetti yelled. “Wait. I’m the author of this story! You can’t tell me what to do! I can fuck you over as much as I want!” I yelled before Pinkie jumped at me with a knife, stabbing me in the eye. “Die, die, die!” Screamed Pinkie. “Pinkie, stop killing him!” Yelled Dyrilby as he pulled her off of me, “If he dies, we’re stuck here and I disappear!” “Hehe, oopsie.” She giggled as she pulled the knife out of my face, causing me to yell in pain. “We’ll let you live then. Now don’t mess with our heads again!” Seph said angrily. “Deal! Just get that crazy bitch away from me!” I yelled. And so our heroes entered the TARDIS once again and travelled back to Equestria. Or rather, they would have if I hadn’t wanted to get revenge on them for losing my eye, which had promptly grown back anyway. So I decided to send them to the world of Garry’s Mod. TO BE CONTINUED Datdamnface a.k.a DDF: Author's noteHey hey hey! It's a me! An aborted fetus! No seriously though i'm back and over the writer's block which I have to say, a little Dr. Steel goes a long way along with some Parov Stelar, if you don't know search em both up. Either way all I gotta say is I'm happy to report I (I dunno bout DB) with a bit of help got Lance's permission for using Living the Dream and It is gonna be a royal shitstorm when I gonna write. That being said, I'ma let DB finish with his shit. Then we're gonna take a canoe and paddle up shit creak. Oh! And if any of y'all could? Spread this story around, I wanna do as many cameos and universe jumps as possible. Just comment and shit about which story y'all wanna see crashed and I'll be doing that. Oh and DYRILBY HURRY THE FUK UP OR I WILL EAT YOUR FACE AND OVARIES. That being said, umm.....umm.......derp I got nothing. Ummmmm............oh yeah! Also y'all can ask if you guys want me to do any other story themes. Like romance or grim or tragedy. If there's a story idea you don't like or you can't right then just send em my way. And on that note; HOW ABOUT SOME WEEPING ANGELS?!? NO? TO BAD IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU. Ohohohohohoho you say it isn't? Just go to bed, don't blame me if you hear scrabbling in your closet. Goodnight.. mehehehehehe.
PINKIE GET OUT OF MY COMPUTER(A/N: Strange tile but nice story) So Pinkie was taking a stroll through Ponyville, intent on confessing her love to Rainbow Dash. Then she suddenly stopped. Turned to the camera..wait camera? And; GAH! WTF PINKIE???? YESSIREE DOODLE YA FUNKY TOASTER STRUDDEL! that doesn't even make any sense! What the hell are you doing here?!? Well I was going to just drop by and tell you that I'M NOT GAY YOU [yay]ING BRONIES! [backs away from pink monstrosity] HEY! I'm not a monster! I'm a lovable pink ball that will WRECK YOUR SHIT. DAS FUK...anyway are you pinkie from my stories or- Celestia dammit pinks what the hay? We're still running from the OC and- oh wait is that the author? Okay so it's Pinkie and Confetti. Yup! And do you know why? ??????!!!!??? [Pinkie and Confetti take deep breaths] SCREW ALL THE LOGIC! TROLL ALL THE INTERNET! MIND BUCK ALL THE BRONIES AND PEGASISTAS READING THIS! MESS UP ALL THE STORIS EAT ALL THE DASH CAKES! DRINK ALL THE BOOZE! HAVE ALL THE SUGAR AND ALCOHOLIC RAMPAGE! DID WE ALREADY SAY TROLL THE INTERNET? YES WE DID! GOOD! JUST CHECKING! CONTINUE! Okay so I get the gist of what your saying. Say isn't that Dyrilby's tale? Nah, I'm actually here. Dyrilby?!? How the hell are you here? [sigh] I don't want to even begin. [different voices] "STOP! GET BACK IN THE OC! IT IS NOT YOUR TIME TO LEAVE YET!" Shit! OC guards! We must snap to another fanfic! Come with me if you want to live! Why do I need to come with you? Because OC guardians have the tendency to, oh I dunno KILL everypony and everyperson involved with the escapees. Eh, let's do this. [jumps into computer screen] ================================================================================================= Oww....my head...where are we? [dark and dingy basement filled with party streamers and blood.] Wait are we in- nah we couldn't be. [flat haired Pinkie comes giggling out of the dark] High! are you OC ponies? OH! I've never made an OC pony into cupcakes before but I guess I could try! Eeyup...we are in cupcakes...aren't we? Eeyup....we are so screwed aren't we? Not nesicaarily. See, Pinkie hates cupcakes. Ergo, pink goddess of internet will probably wreck this little- Wow there! We trying to keep this kid friendly! [cracks neck and hooves.] IS COWARD KILLING TIME!! What? Silly fillies! you can't escape! Nah we're good. [pulls out popcorn] HIIIIIIIIIYAAAAAA! [barrage of hooves] [gurgles on the floor dying] AND THAT IS WHAT I THINK OF YOUR FAUST DAMN CUPCAKES **ATCH! [le Aperture Science portal appears] That's Aperture right? Yeah....i'm a little apprehensive about letting Pinkie use portals. Hey! Better than letting her become that thing [points at dead 'cupcakes' pinkie. ...Point taken. ALRIGHT TIMES UP AND LET'S DO THIS PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!! PPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!! Ah goddamit Pinkie! Quick! Follow her! Alright i'm right on yer tail! le all parties bail into blue portal Oww....where are we? Welcome my little ponies to the aperture science enrichment center! Everypony turns to Pinkie. ....Least I got my chicken.....
A bit of backstory before the madness(A/N:Mods if your reading this then I'm just gonna keep submitting it.) So your asking yourselves ".....what?" Right about now am I right? Yeah I'm probably right. Okay...so here's a bit of backstory. Confetti is this random dude from the human world which Pinkie ran into after she hijacked his story about a city mare falling in love with Pinkie. They have sex and the morning after she takes him to Equestria where random shenanigans ensue. After a little while Dyrilby was reborn back from the OC, a place of utter madness and ethereality that served as a reincarnation zone. He quickly made fast friends with party pony and served as his bass player for a little while, soon retiring to live out his life with Twilight Sparkle. After the mane 6 and Confetti died, they all went to heaven. Dyrilby was pardoned thanks to his brave acts in another life. This is the following tale. God sat on his throne watching the party ponies below. "Wow, just wow." He said sighing with a bourbon in his hands. "Hey big guy! How's it hanging?" Asked Confetti as he took a seat next to the giant being. "Fine just fine thank you, nice job with the place." He said spreading an arm across the whole 8 suns of heaven. Suddenly the two where interrupted by a certain fiery maned pegasus. "Confetti! Bad news dude! OC guards!" Shouted the albino pony from below the balcony. ============================================ Dyrilby had been making out with the Twilight Sparkle on a couch in the general party mess of heaven. He felt a chill run down his spine. Something was wrong, breaking his kiss with Twilight he looked up to find two Towering Big Red Alicorns. "Dyrilby Bass? You are here by the high queen of the OC. You have lived out your time allotted and therefore must return." Said one of the guards, his voice like thunder on a quiet night. "LIKE HELL I WILL." He shouted as he bucked on in the face and took to flight, flying like never before he raced over to the amphitheater where he found Confetti. "Oh shit!" Said Confetti leaping out over the edge of the balcony, quickly being caught by Dryilby. "Aww man how did this happen?!?" Shouted the distressed pegasi as he flew fast, trying to avoid the guards now shooting fireballs at them. "How are we gonna get out of here?" He shouted to nopony in particular. "I have an idea. It's pretty risky though." Said Confetti still dangling from Dyrilby's grasp. "It'll involve llamas, badgers, the internet, most likely zombies, a whole lot of booze, and Pinkie, oh and an author." He said rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Whatever! Just make it happen!" Shouted Dyrilby performing a barrel roll to dodge a set of nearby fireballs. Somewhere in the multiverse a giant rabbit just screamed "YES!" They flew and flew until they reached a sun turned disco ball hanging in the air. "Pinkie! Got company! Get a move on! Plan 5!" Shouted Confetti cupping his hooves to his mouth, out of nowhere a pink mass sped out of nowhere and tackled Dyrilby and Confetti sending the airborne trio into a tailspin. "Hold on lads! This'll get a bit rough!" She shouted as the came closer and closer to the ground. Then Nothing. No impact, no nothing. "Ugh, where are we?" Asked Dyrilby shaking his head. "Ponyville! Hey guys we're in Ponyville!" Shouted Confetti. Suddenly the trio heard a booming voice in the quiet. So Pinkie was taking a stroll through Ponyville, intent on confessing her love to Rainbow Dash..... [etc.] Pinkie, who was passed out a moment ago suddenly sprang to life. "I ain't gay! Not if I can help it!" She shouted punching a hole in the air, as soon as she did a hole appeared. "There it is!" She said grabbing the hole and pulling it apart with her hooves. You all know what happened next.
3 words: Combustible. F**ng. Lemons3 words: Combustible. F**ng. Lemons Back to madness! ~several hours later~ "How?!? How in the name of the pure Celestia did we end up here?!?" Asked Datdamnface who had been transformed into a black unicorn with a rather grey mane. "Ask the friggin mantis men why don't ya?!?" Shouted Dryilby back, they were currently hiding behind concrete as Confetti and Pinkie Pie led an army of Mantis Men with shouts of encouragement through a hail of gunfire and lemons. ~prior~ The test will begin in 5....4....3.....2...1.... Chimed the pleasant male voice as the portal from their room containing the company of four opened. "Okay so how are we gonna do this?" Asked Datdamnface eyeing the blue portal as he tentatively stepped through. "No clue dude." Snickered Dyrilby jumping through. "Just call me Seph alright?" He called back to him as he looked around the room, it was a standard Aperture science testing chamber but in the middle sat 4 portal guns. Seph let out a squeal and ran over to the first one, the standard orange and blue portal gun. "Mine! Oh man I've always wanted to try this out!" He said pointing the portal straight up, firing a blue portal straight up and an orange portal straight down. "Are you gonna-" Dyrilby started but was quickly interrupted as Seph jumped through. "This is awesome!" Shouted Seph as he went in and out of the portals, his inertia increasing as he sped. "I'm not so sure that's a good idea." He said as Seph started moaning. "Me neither-" Seph felt his throat expand as his eyes bulged. Dyrilby winced as he saw green fly out of the barely visible stallion's mouth, it sped through the same flight course but splattered all around the room. "Okay fun time over now." Said Seph shooting a portal to a nearby wall, this in turn shot him out at the speed of a bullet, turning him into an equine pancake against the wall, the puke soon followed. "That was NOT a good idea at all." Said the woozy stallion moaning as he made his way over to the nearby Emancipation Grill. "Alright so how are we gonna get out of here?" He asked to the group of ponies all standing by the elevator. "Um....solving puzzles?" Asked Confetti unsure, this prompted a facepalm from Seph. "Okay solving puzzles, now we're gonna need to pair up if we wanna survive these next courses. Who wants who?" He asked, in an instant Confetti had grabbed Pinkie and had shot through the elevator which promptly closed behind them, sending the duo into the bowels of Aperture. Guess that just leaves you and me eh?" He asked to the white pegasus, Dyrilby just shrugged and walked into a nearby elevator. "We got tests to do...and science to perform." He said with a smile. "Aperture science~ we do what we must, because, we can." Sang Seph as he jumped into the elevator. "For the good of all the ones, except the ones who are dead~" They both sang as they descended. ========================================================= "OWW!!" Shouted Drilby as he smacked into the ground hard....for the 55th time. Seph just shook his head. "Dude if you would just follow me we could"- Dyrilby was already trying again which made Seph stop and facehoof. "Dude! Would you friggin listen to me?!?" He shouted as the pegasus jumped off the aerial faith plate yet again. Seph could see the whole chamber before him, all they had to do was Aerial Faith plate over to a ledge where a companion cube was sitting, grab the cube, shoot a portal to a hardlight surface, cross the bridge, place the cube, and gtfo. How hard could it be right? SMASH The challenge was magnified tenfold because of a certain alabaster pegasus's ego. "Well if you want something done right." Muttered Seph as he picked up his portal gun with both hooves, it seemed like these portal guns were made especially for ponies....figures. He quickly shoved Dyrilby off the Aerial Faith Plate and set a hoof down, getting launched around 170 feet into the air. "Hey!" Shouted the pegasus indignantly as he watched the black unicorn fly. Quickly following his master plan, Seph shot a blue portal over to the hardlight surface, as he landed he smiled and grabbed the cube using magic, using the portal gun again, he shot an orange portal towards an adjacent wall, making a makeshift bridge. "No fair!" He heard Dyrilby call from below. "Use your brain for once!" He shouted back smirking a little as he placed the cube down onto the pressure pad. It made a satisfying click as the door in front of the pad opened to reveal another emancipation grill and elevator. Seph turned around and shot two portals; an orange portal on a wall next to him, and a blue portal on a wall right next to Dyrilby. "Now that's how we do it in D.C!" He smiled as the pegasus walked through, shooting him a glare full of content. "Hey! I tried telling you!" He said catching up to Dyrilby who had trotted ahead. As they approached they heard a sound akin to grinding metal and shrieking joints. The elevator shot down on it's rails with a screech as both Pinkie and Confetti flew through the tube followed by.....lemons? And.....mantis men? They heard a voice as the freaky troupe descended. "Alright i've been thinking, when life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?!? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am?!? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that'll burn your house down!" The two sensible ponies watched the chattering roaring group of mantis men descend down the travel tube. "I don't....even....what?" Asked Seph, his jaw still unhinged. Dyribly shook his head and pried open a small hole within the tube. "Might as well follow them." He said with a shrug. "I know this is NOT going to end well." Grumbled Seph as he climbed in. "Trust me this is going to end well!" Shouted Dryilby as he jumped in after. =================================================================== "I am never going to ever follow your advice ever again!" Shouted Seph as gunfire roared above their concrete cover. The mantis men had somehow managed to get thier collective....things? I dunno what they're called. Anyway the group of about 30 mantis men were now having a shoot-out with a couple of sentries. Confetti and Pinkie roared encouragement as they blindly tossed combustible lemons they found from Faust knows where. "Onwards men! To victory!" Shouted Confetti as he reared back from his cover and tossed a well aimed sentry that took out the 17 sentries blocking their path to the GLaDOS control center. Not only had the 'grenade' and I use the term loosely taken out all the sentries, it also took out the gangplank that the troupe was on. "Aww hell." Said Confetti surveyed the smoking metal and joints barely holding up the plank. "And this is we come in." Said Dyrilby finally coming out from his cover. Spotting a wall on the other side of the gangplank, he fired a red portal onto it and then fired an orange portal to a wall right next to the group. "Your all welcome." He said as they all single filed through the portal. "Now that's thinking outside the GlaDOS!" Chirped Pinkie as she.....bounced through a wall that DID NOT contain a portal and still arrived with the group. "ONWARDS MEN! FOR TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!" Roared Confetti as he ran through the last set of doors separating the group of about 4 ponies and 15 mantis men from GLaDOS. "Oops! Almost forgot this!" Said Confetti running backwards to grab a companion cube that was in a nearby dump. "Why would you need back?" Asked Seph as Confetti caught up to the rest of the group. "You know what? Never mind." The black stallion shook his head and continued running, a light shined from the double doors ahead as they parted. The company did not expect this. There, sitting on the floor on a straw mat was Gordan Freeman and Chell, they both stared at each other, no words were spoken. "So [sniff] so beautiful." Said the robot voice of the monolithic GLaDOS. "I.....what?" Asked Dyrilby scratching his head with a hoof. Gordan got up and swung his trademarked crowbar. "I..I can't believe an individual could beat that type of pain." Sniffed Seph, a tear flowing down his cheek. Due to the sheer power of these two monolithic symbols of sheer awesomeness sitting down and talking. The Mantis Men had disintegrated in a shower of kittens and miniature companion cubes. Confetti, GLaDOS, and Seph had broken down in tears as the non-words flowed from the two beings sitting on the mat. Chell looked around and they heard bleeping as she tried firing her portal gun on a non-portal surface. They all cried harder. Both Pinkie and Dyribly just sat there with poker faces."LEMONSLEMONSLEMONSLEMONSLEMONSLEMONS!!" She shouted as she threw up a waterfall of combustible lemons essentially destroying the tranquility of the two. "And there we go!" Shouted Dryrilby as he stuffed the companion cube into a suspiciously square shaped hole directly underneath GLaDOS. "Wait! What are you doing? That's my G-Spot! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Screamed GLaDOS as the room exploded in white. The last thought going through Seph's mind was "Did a robot just have an orgasm?" And then sweet nothing.
A realistic simulation of killing floor"DOSH! Grab it while you can lads!" Said Pinkie Pie spinning around in a circle while throwing bundles of money everywhere. Currently the group was situated in a small alleyway fighting off thousands of Zed as they came and tried to eat them. "How? How are we even here?!?" Cried Seph as cranked the lever on his lever action rifle, each shot a kill. Dyrilby just sat in the back occasionally firing off healing syringes. "Wait a minute...where is Confetti?" Asked Seph as the hordes of Clots and Gorefasts finally tapered off granting the group some breathing room. The trio suddenly heard a deep throat chuckle as a Scrake came out of nowhere into their alleyway, his chainsaw raised as he prepared to attack. "Oh for the love of mary sue seriously?!!?" Screamed Seph as he desperately looked around for a crossbow, the only thing that could kill the monster before them. "Soft as shiite!" Said Pinkie still spinning in a circle, this time she had some sort of knife in her hoof and was blindly thrusting it as she spun at an inequine speed. As the Scrake slowly made his way forward, Dyrilby, Seph, and Pinkie saw that there where several Flesh Pounders behind him. Seph just sat there with a pokerface as the group advanced. "Well....we're boned." He said putting the lever action in his mouth. Suddenly Confetti jumped down somehow donning a black hood and cape that looked distincly like- "I'M BAMAAAN!" He said slurring a little. "Who?" Asked Dryilby now joining Seph on the ground. "I'M BUDMAN!" "Who?" Asked Pinkie now sitting with the duo. "I'M DABAAN!" "What?" They all asked together. Confetti hefted duel chainsaws in his hooves as he ran forward. "DABAGMAAAAAAAAN!" He screamed as he descended into the fray. The trio sat in silence as the group of 7 Flesh Pounders and 13 Scrakes charged at Confetti who in turned screamed back. "COME AT ME BROS!" The three ponies watched their doom turn into Fillet Minnon. (How the fuck do you spell that?) "........." Said Seph just slowly facehoofed as the round ended, over the intercom they could hear the trader shouting her wares. "Alrighty then lets go get our stuff before we all become mince meat." Said Dyrilby getting up and walking away towards the trader's shop which was situated in a building just a couple blocks away from them. "This time, everything's gotta go!" She said, an urgent note in her voice. "Oh shit, Patriarch time." Said Pinkie hefting a flamethrower. "Lock and load ladies and germs." Said Seph who had picked out a SCARMK17. "If we live through this...we are gods." Said Dyrilby hoisting up two handcannons. Suddenly they heard static over the intercom as the trader closed shop. "Let's get this party started!" Shouted Pinkie pulling down a welder mask and promptly setting a group of unlucky clots on fire. As the Zed count dwindled, the group became more and more anxious of the upcoming confrontation. Pinkie took out a fire axe and shoved it into the cranial cavity of the last husk who was dazed on account of a lucky shot by Seph. Suddenly all their gazes shifted to a huge giant of a man roaring on the ground, his words inaudible over his foaming teeth. "Well....it was nice knowing y'all." Said Seph reloading his SCAR and kneeling for better accuracy. Suddenly the group heard maniacal laughter and a girlish scream. "Do Not Want! Do Not Want!" Shouted the voice of the patriarch. "C'mere boy! I got a present for you!" Shouted an all to familiar voice. "Is that Confetti?" Asked Seph cautiously moving towards the source of the noise which had now turned to pleas of mercy and grunting. "Yo Confetti! Having any-" Seph cut himself off as he gazed at the site before him. "What's going on?" Asked Dyrilby walking over, as soon as he saw what was happening, he dawned his signature pokerface. "Mind if I get in on that?" Asked Pinkie Pie jumping in on the action. Seph continued puking while Dyrilby just sat there, unblinking. "Rule 34....no exceptions." He said in a monotone voice as he continued watching. (A/N: If you want to see a really good KF story check out Killterofallhaters for the bestest KF thingy ever!)
oh shit a story!During le sexy time with Patriarch, Pinkie, and Confetti. Twilight Sparkle was still sitting with rest of mane 6 as they tried to comprehend what the hell just happened. "He just...he just got up and ran!" She said through tears. Celestia sighed as she walked over, disheartened by her student she decided to tell them the truth. =========================================================== This time the group awoke to find themselves in a somewhat familiar setting. "Hey guys! Look it's Manehattan!" Shouted Dyrilby jumping in glee as the city lights flickered on the horizon. "I've only been to the big haystack only a couple times now...let's give it a go shall we?" Asked Confetti who had somehow managed to don a tophat and monocle. "I agree my good man! Come now lads it's impolite to keep a lady waiting!" Chirped Pinkie in a Rarity esque fashion. Seph and Dyrilby just shrugged. "I got bad memories from here man, still can't forget that little kid." Muttered Dyrilby grudgingly walking forward. ==================================================================================== "Okay so wait a minute, both DB and Confetti are from someplace called the 'OC' and because they didn't return after they died....the guardians of this 'OC' are now hunting them." Said Rainbow Dash air quoting whenever she said OC. Celestia just sighed and took a seat. "Yes that is exactly why I was shocked when OC guardians appeared because I thought I had already reached a deal with her." She muttered more to herself than to the group of six. "Of all the worse things that could happen; THIS. IS THE WORST!" Shouted Rarity dramatically flinging herself on the couch in mock drama. "Quit it Rare, we gotta go after em'!" Said Applejack shoving the uptight mare off the couch. "But um...where are we going to find them?" Piped Fluttershy. Celesita sighed. "You will find them in the numbing soul consumping void that was named The Internet." She said overdramatizing it and causing Fluttershy to squeak and hide behind Applejack. In that moment Celestia had two thoughts running through her head; 1. "FLUTTERSHY Y U SO SQUEE?!?" She mentally shouted, 2. "Faust have mercy on their souls." "If you choose to embark upon this quest then this will be waiting for you." She said magically conjuring a computer which was swaddled in changing lights and colors. "We gotta girls! If not fer the rest of them then for Pinkie! Y'all know she'd go fer any of us!' Reasoned Applejack making her way to the computer. The rest of the 6 decided to pony up and follow. "Well Princess...I guess this is farewell." Sighed Twilight as she addressed her mentor for the last time. "Do not fret Twilight, you will prevail." Replied her mentor smiling benevolently as the group was sucked into the computer. (A/N: Longer chapter later and- HOLY SHIT IS THERE A STORY FORMING?!? Oh shit where's my sniffy powder?!? This calls for sniffy powder and wood mulch!)
True teamwork(A/N: I'm insane...and loving it) Switching over to A group; (Dyrilby, Seph, Confetti, Pinkie) The group wandered around Manehattan for a while before their natural functions took over. "Ugh, too tired, need sleep." Complained Seph as the group trudged through the cobblestone streets. "We can probably go sleep in some abandoned buildings for tonight, probably get us a gig later to pay for food and such." Tried Confetti. "Sounds about right, hope we don't run into any spiders though." Shuddered Seph as they walked through the streets of what they assumed was an upper-class shopping district. Pinkie and Dyrilby had been silent for a while as the group wandered through the streets as night rapidly approached. "Huh, that looks nice enough." Mused Confetti pointing to a newly abandoned shop on the outskirts. The group had been walking for a little while now as the light waned and was eventually replaced by the moon. "Thank Celestia! I was seriously getting tired." Cried Dyrilby in relief as he ran inside. "Hey wait for me!" Shouted Seph as he ran in after the pegasi. Inside he found it to be a nice wooden structure, the walls where faux cobblestone covering the copper beneath. It was about then that this little pretty decided to drop onto the floor in front of Seph. He went dead silent as he stared at it. And it stared at him. Okay switching over to first person here; Seph hates spiders. Seph is rational pony Seph is unstable pony Seph went apeshit crazy. And before we explain the following madness I'll just switch over the mane 6 ================================================================================================= "Twilight! Get this jet offa me!" Shouted Rainbow Dash as she preformed a loop-de-loop in the hopes of looping around behind the enemy fighter which was currently intent on gunning down their Jet. The group had found themselves thrust into a battlefield in the dead of night, the only way they were even alive was because Twilight had known what where they were. "Oh my stars! Girls! We're in Cattlefield 3!" She shouted at the top of her lungs as a tank shell embedded itself in a wall they where currently behind. "That's great Twi! Now how the hay do we get out!" Shouted Applejack as machine gun fire rattled overhead. Twilight's overly abundant energy all but vanished as she cast a memory spell, imbuing all her friends with all she knew about weapons, attachments, strategies, and vehicle controls. In that instance, the 5 friends knew the only way out. Fluttershy walked over to to a dead body, she picked up an SVD from the dead ponies hooves. She tested it out, checked the clip and walked back over to the group. "We win." She said cocking the gun. The others grinned as they fell into their classes. Rainbow Dash being the least cautious of the group had picked the assault class, charging headfirst into the fight guns a blazing and running into the hailstorm of bullets to heal and revive injured ponies. Twilight had chosen support, often setting up her bipod in locations where she could mow down the enemy and suppress for maximum advantage. Often enough though, she would regroup with her friends and throw down ammo. Applejack being the sturdiest of them all opted to be the Engineer, fixing up and piloting vehicle as she drove her friend too and fro be it to the objective or away from the battle. Proving as back up when other teammates ran in with tanks and buggies. Rarity just jumped around classes seeing as how she just couldn't fit into one role. For the most part though she would stay in the base and try to figure out a way to get out of 'this garish nightmare' as she so eloquently put it. "Alright girls, this is the last push. We take these two objectives and we win." Said Twilight as the group flew over the seemingly serene open grasslands. Applejack was piloting as Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy checked their weapons. This time Rarity had chosen to replace Rainbow Dash as their première 'medic'. "If this is the last one then count me in." Said Rarity cocking the gun as the bullet slid into the chamber. "Alright this is Spectral 1 come in Apple Actual." Chipped Rainbow from the radio, the 5 mares heard it over their individual headsets. Although they couldn't hear Applejack's voice over the shriek of the rotor blades, they heard her loud and clear over their headsets. "This is Apple Actual, wadda we got out there?" Asked Applejack, her voice casual but holding a tint of worry. "Not pretty, I'm spotting at least three T-90's and various light armored units moving in right below you." As to make this statement true, the group heard the resounding boom as the three separate cannons fired at the Black Bird. Rarity and Twilight whimpered as the the cannon shots barely missed. "Roger that, stay frosty Rainbow." They heard Applejack reply as they cut the frequency. Suddenly the group heard the shriek as a jet flanked them, Rainbow Dash waved from the cockpit as she preformed a barrel roll and peeled off to chase down the tanks moving below. "Well this is my stop ladies, you be careful know." Said Fluttershy as the chopper approached a massive red and white radio tower. "Stay safe Shy." Shouted Applejack as she suddenly swerved to the right in an attempt to dodge an incoming RPG which just barely missed the rotor. After a little while the three remaining mares found themselves hovering over the enemy encampment. "Alright Twi, wish you the best of luck, don't worry, me and Rare'll be coverin yer flank from above." Shouted Applejack as she strafed the chopper over the objective labeled A. "Thanks! I'll be countin on ya!" She shouted as she jumped out, deploying her parachute behind a couple buildings. "Alright Twilight you can do this! You've done it before and you can do it again." She muttered to herself as she silently walked over to where the objective was casually stationed against a wall. She counted down to herself as she saw more enemies running past in a bum rush to join the big fight. "Now!" She hissed as she dove out of cover and planted the C4 all over the charge. As expected it wailed warning and flashed red as the server seemed to realize it was being attacked. She heard swearing from somewhere nearby. Steeling herself she took the safety off and deployed her bipod on the ground. Suddenly the roar of chain gun fire ripped through the eye-of-the-storm quiet that fell over the base. Twilight smirked as she heard the dying screams of ponies filled the air as the chaingun continued to spin blazing death on the unfortunate souls below. "That's my girl." Twilight giggled as the objective let out one last drone and blew, becoming nothing more than a few short circuits amidst plastic rubble. Things had been going great so far, as Twilight ran over to the final objective she heard their wonderful day go downhill. "Applejack! Towers going down I need immediate evac now!" Shouted the panicked voice of Fluttershy. Twilight paused to see the massive red and white striped tower start tipping towards the east as charges went off. Twilight could just stare in shock and awe as the metal shrieked and groaned, unable to hold it's own weight anymore. "Dagumit! Hold on sugarcube i'm commin! Sorry Twi, think ya can handle yerself?" Asked the concerned mare, her voice rife with panic as she leveled off. This snapped Twilight out of her daze as she ran towards cover, recently spotted by two engineers. "Sure! I'll be fine! Go save Fluttershy and meet me back here!" She shotued as she fired back at the two, the MG36 roaring in her hooves. Her spirits sank even lower as she heard the panicked voice of Rainbow Dash broadcasting over the maine frequency. "Mayday mayday! I've got two Sukhois on my tail! Where are the AA guns!?!?" She shouted over the airwaves. Twilight glanced over to the objective, it sat there like a water after a hard hike to the desert. About 3 meters behind it sat the enemy's AA turret, the massive guns loomed over all the small buildings as they fired at the approaching mare's jet which was frantically trying to get rid of the enemies through maneuvers and chaff. "No Twilight! Stick by your friends! They've stuck by you haven't they?" Shouted her mind, she shook her head once and dashed over towards the still firing turrets. "I'm commin Dashie!" She shouted to the still panicking mare. As soon as she reached the rectangular gun she stabbed the russian and took over, finding the two opposing fighters and opening up a hailstorm of large caliber fire. Eventually she shot down one of the two with a lucky shot to the fuselage. The other was quickly despatched as Dash rolled behind it and opened up her missile silo's turning it from jet into scrap. "Thanks Twi, I owe ya one." Rainbow did a fly over as she spoke into the mic. Twilight smiled a bit as she exited the gun. Her joy was short lived however as the tower which had staled it's own demise, finally gave in to the pressure and finished it's descent. "Applejack!" Shouted Fluttershy on the verge of hysteria as the ground gave. "I don't think I can make it!" Shouted Applejack in the distance Twilight saw a black dot slowly making it's way to a swiftly collapsing tower. When all seemed at it's lowest, the Rainbow mare decided to repay her friends. "Hold on Fluttershy! I'm combing!" She shouted doing a loop and going MAC-1 as she sped up in a desperate attempt to reach her friend. =============================================== Fluttershy hyperventilated as the tower screeched beneath her, tilting her to the side and giving her an insane sense of vertigo. She saw the friendly jet boom and speed up towards her, knowing what she was about to do, she calmed her heart down to an equine rate. "C'mon Fluttershy! You've stared down a dragon, you've stood up to a griffon, and you've stared down the chicken version of Medusa! If you got through that, you sure as hell can get through this!" She steeled herself as she waited for the perfect time, Closer Closer Closer Now! She vaulted over the rail as the fighter flew underneath her, landing hard on the aerodynamic surface. The wind whipped her face and forced her to close her eyes but she felt a wave of relief wash over her as the cerulean mare beamed at her from the cockpit. "Welcome aboard Ms. Fluttershy! Care to join us?" She asked Sarcastically as Fluttershy found a nice niche where she could sit without the fear of falling. Pulling the army issue goggles over her eyes, Fluttershy giggled as her wings relaxed. "Thanks dash." She nearly whispered into the mic. "Oh shit! Incoming!" She shouted as a Sukhoi-Su 35 seemed to pop out of nowhere. Rainbow Dash had been doing fine mowing down ground units, she admitted that she would have been fried horse meat if Twilight hadn't shot down the first of the two pursuers but after that everything was peachy. Until now. With Fluttershy still on the outside of the jet she knew she couldn't take offensive maneuvers. The bigger problem was that the jet didn't have any niches so Flutterhsy couldn't keep a hold even if she sped up by one or two knots. As she sat there panicking, she didn't notice Fluttershy straitening from her crouched position, leveling her gun and shouting. "Dashie! Hold her steady!" Shouted the butterscotch mare as she took a deep breath as she looked down her sites into the eyes of the enemy pilot who was staring back with a look of shock and disbelief. The last thing that went through his mind was; "She's not gonna-" He was cut off as she felt rather then heard the M82 bullet whizz through the air, it's speed enhanced by the absence of air resistance as it pierced the normally protective glass of the enemy fighter. "Got em!" Smirked the pink maned pegasus as the enemy jet seemed to loose all speed and slowly plummet into the ground. "Woo! My hats to you girl!" Screamed Rainbow Dash in excitement. Their victory was short-lived however as the instruments within the F/A Super Hornet started going haywire. "Shit! They deployed heatseekers!" Panicked the mare, she was all out of chaff and with Fluttershy still on, there was only one option left to take. "Bail!" She shouted as she saw the missile approached from a rear facing cam. Fluttershy saw the incoming projectile and leveled her gun, this was going to be the ultimate test of marksmareship. "No Dash! I got this!" She shouted into her radio. For a moment the cornflower blue mare felt a feeling of disbelive pass through her. "Is she crazy?!?" She thought with hysteria, putting the plane on auto-pilot for a moment, she looked up to see 'The Stare'. Dash chuckled to herself as she resumed flying. "What am I worried about? Fluttershy's got this." She thought to herself completely ignoring the life and death situation at hand. Fluttershy felt the world slow down around her, the noise of the jet was replaced by quite as she emptied the remaining two bullets into the incoming missile. The first bullet embedded itself into the thick outer layer of the missile as it continued flying. She calmly took aim again and fired the last bullet in her magazine, straight into the butt of the first, sending it into the core of the missile. Dash watched all this from the rear cam inside the cockpit, letting out another whoop as the projectile exploded nowhere near it's destination. "Hot damn girl! Those are some mad MLG skills!" She shouted doing a little celebration dance involving her forelegs and shoulders because she couldn't move anything else. Fluttershy slapped the glass of the cockpit making the mare underneath jump a little. "Please don't ever say MLG in Cattlefield." She stressed every word. Rainbow gave a nervous chuckle as she resumed flying. Soon the two met up with Applejack. "Now I recon that was some of the fanciest shootin I ever did see!" She whistled appreciatively making the pastel mare blush. "It was nothing really." She said trying to hide behind her fluttering mane. "Nothing? Girl you just shot down a missile with a sniper! I sure as hay don't call that nothing!" She retorted trying to get the praise through to the shy mare. Suddenly their little group celebration was cut off as Twilight's voice joined their's, her's however was accompanied by small arms fire. "Girls i'm surrounded and our reserves are running low! It's all or nothing!" She shouted as she let out another blast of gunfire. The 4 mares steeled themselves. "C'mon in Fluttershy!" Shouted Rainbow Dash slowing down enough to open the cockpit. Fluttershy jumped in and took up the secondary spot as Dash hit MAC-2. ========================================================== Twilight Sparkle continued to gun down pony after pony as her ammo began running out. Quickly she grabbed a new round magazine for the MG36 and popped it in, redeploying it on the low hanging concrete block she was using as cover. She could see the objective behind the waves of ponies rushing at her and silently swore. "Dammit! If only i'd been faster." She muttered to herself, barely heard over the barks of machine gun fire. Suddenly she heard the tell-tale mechanic grumbling accompanied by a tank as it all but mowed down her makeshift last stand. "Holy Sweet Celestia!" She swore as she dove out of the way of the oncoming APC, it swiveled it's grenade launcher around and prepared to destroy the mare. Twilight closed her eyes as it locked it's sites. "This is it huh?" She thought to herself as she felt growing fear in her belly. Suddenly she heard shrieking whistles as two missiles embedded themselves into the lightly armored carrier, immediately destroying it. "Twi! Come in Twi! You okay sugarcube?" Asked the perpetually concerned voice of Applejack as the chopper hovered overhead. "Yeah i'm good girls." She said slightly dizzied by the explosion. She noticed a rope descend from the helicoper as she was joined by Rarity. "I'm terribly sorry for the delay dear." Said Rarity checking her ammo and sites as she huffed. "I do belive though it is time to end this." She said fixing Twilight with a gaze. Twilight snapped out of her daze and nodded back. Reaching a silent agreement, the two mares made their way towards the objective. Applejack drove the now useless Black Hawk into an oncoming buggy and joined the charging mares, firing off her 870 along the way. Rainbow Dash kept making runs, destroying most of the vehicles and ground units along the way. After 3 attempts, the group of 3 finally made their way over to the objective which was located within a now bombed out warehouse. Twilight threw down the last of her ammo stashes and the three put down the last of the C4. "Ready girls?" Asked Twilight as she reloaded her MG for what she hoped was the last time. "Ready as I'll ever be." Muttered Applejack picking up a nearby AK-74U from a dead pony nearby. "I do hope this won't cause the quite the ruckus, fighting can get quite boorish after a while. Anyway I need a nice bath and comb after all this." Complained Rarity prompting eye rolls from both Applejack and Twilight. The alarm went off and the fight was on. The base was now fully alerted to the invaders due to the ruckus Twilight made earlier. "Hot damn how many of these guys are there?!?" Shouted Twilight as she gunned down the twentieth pony by herself. "Well seeing as how you messed up yer sneaky approach I'd say all of em!" Retorted Applejack sniping ponies from afar with her specially designed bullets fit for the 870. "Incoming!" Shouted Rarity as a T-90 smashed into the side of the warehouse causing it to collapse. "Aw hay no!" Shouted Applejack pulling out an RPG. She fired once and managed to get the tank in the treads. The cannon rotated until it was staring the mare directly in the eye. Applejack gulped, her eyes the size of saucers. "Um....sorry?" She tried meekly. Suddenly the group heard the tell-tell shrieks of a jet as both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy shouted; "INCOMING!" The F/A Super Hornet crashed through the roof and into the tank causing it to be cut in half as it exploded. "Nice work there partners." Said a sarcastic Applejack as the two joined the fight. Fluttershy merely groaned as she unsteadily got to her hooves. "What can I say? I'm awesome." Chuckled the mare as the objective gave a final wail and blew. The ending theme began playing as the 5 were engulfed in a white light. "That was fun! We should do that more often!" Commented Rainbow Dash who was quickly silenced by four voices all shouting in unison. "NO!"
The day all hell broke looseThe spider and Seph stared at each other. The spider just spun on it's web as Seph displayed his best pokerface yet. "Nope, not dealing with this shit today." He said turning on a dime and starting to walk out. Now something astronomically interesting happened. The spider seeing it's new houseguest walk away decided to meet him face to face seeing as how he was suspended upside down. He jumped from the web onto his back and made his way up to his face. He hissed and spread his legs and bared his fangs. In his language he as saying "Welcome dear house guest! I'm terribly sorry for my appearance and apparent breach of etiquette. My name is prince Barrilius the 4th, I was sent to Manehattan by my father to learn about pony culture in hopes of a truce with the spider kingdom! I hope the decor is to your liking! Seph vision: "Remember that time you tried to kill me with 5 pounds of napalm and some black powder? Because I do. I find this song fitting As the spider finished raising it's legs Seph twitched something fierce throwing the spider well across the room. A slow, demonically happy smile found it's way onto his face. And all hell broke loose. No literally, Hell broke loose from it's crucified spot within the metaphysical plain and started skipping like a heavily stoned hippy, behind he/she/it heaven chased after it shouting "STOP! YOU'VE VIOLATED THE LAW!" While wearing a constable's hat which made it look ridiculous since it was a talking pig. "BUCK DA POLICE!" Shouts hell now taking the appearance of a blood red stallion with a billowing blue mane made of flames. Sitting on his head was a rasta hat with a green yellow and red stripe in that order. "BUCK YOU I'M OUTTA HERE!" He shouted now taking the male gender as he leaped from the metaphysical point within the cross section of an abject point where the two lines of fate should have never met. ========================================================================================== "Sup droogies." Said Hell jumping onto the back of a steam-rolling pink and poofy french poodle rhino. "Oh hell serious?!?" Shouts Dyrilby as he hangs onto the short stump one would call the rhino's tail as it charged furiously through the streets. All around the group it looked as if Discord had taken shrooms and come back from his prison. Goombas from Super Mario Bros and fire flowers and Koppas where all break-dancing in the street to M.C Hammer's can't touch this for some reason. "O hello there!" A slightly possessed and demonic Seph jumps down from the head of the rhino and shakes. Pinkie, Confetti were singing and somehow managing to dance aboard the massive Rhino which was now on a unicycle, still anger and still charging. "Hey wanna help me out?!?" Shouts Seph shoving a trumpet into Hell's outstretched hooves, still shocked from the run in with the madman. "Uh sure." He says picking it up, purple grapes started falling from the sky as Dyrilby managed to finally pull his body along the stumpy tail until he was sitting with the rest of the group. "Alright! Let's do this!" He shouts hefting a mic, I've got gun in my hand but the gun won't cock, and my fingers on the trigger but that trigger seems locked! An invisible chorus kicked in as the pink rhino charged through befuddled bystanders. "Oh a song?!?" It shouts transforming into another Pinkie Pie as the group suddenly starts moving through the air at the same speeds, keep in mind that the rhino was their mode of transportation. They were just flying through air as if it was space. The two pinkies simultaneously gasped then high-hooved, both wearing me gusta faces. Group lost momentum and crashed through the air and into the ground, the original Pinkie pulled out a party cannon and started firing a pink trail, the cannon soon managed to pick up secondary Pinkie, Confetti, Hell and Dyrilby. Seph was an entirely different matter, he somehow managed to get a friggin BULLETBILL which he was now moonwalking on, surprisingly enough this didn't surprise anyone. They all continued flying through the air, a giant sponge-bob square pants was singing 'Goofy Goober' (If you don't know what it is you have 10 seconds before I reach through the computer and pull out your brain) as he became the moon....a giant....cheese....crater filled....MOON. Somewhere in the vast multiverses of the time space folds Luna awoke from her nightmare with a gasp and a shriek. Anyway the group was still singing as they continued at break-neck streets through the now upside down city of Manehattan as it's citizenry shrugged it's collective shoulders and raised their vodka glasses shouting in a conglomerate voice. "BUCK THIS." The group flew and sang until they found themselves in a massive square atop a stage. The guys took their positions on a massive stage in the center and started singing again. So I waited by the phone but the phone never rang. And I sang so loud so I wouldn't hear the bang. When the bang never came and I never got the call; BUCK IT! THANK YOU I LOVE YOU ALL! Seph screamed into his mic somehow managed to produce a massive Dos Equine bottle from out of virtually nowhere, Pinkie 1 and Pinkie 2 where passing out drinks to the collective masses of Manehattan and it appeared Dyrilby, Confetti, and Hell were already drunk off their flanks. "Ah think [hiccup] THAT went accordingly!" Slurs Dyrilby tipsy off his flank as he sat down harshly for lack of balance. Confetti was spinning around in circles while Hell had somehow managed to produce a HUGE FLANK bong from nowhere and was now smoking a mixture of cocaine, marijuana, and ground up ecstasy. He was laughing like a hyena as Confetti took the mic and muttered incoherently about a door nob and a buttplug. Pinkie 1 and Pinkie 2 had somehow managed to get themselves a timberwolf and were currently doing something with it that would make the patriarch scene look line missionary. Needless to say it involved the genitalia and glass and glass shards going where shouldn't ever belong. Soon after they started the whole city it seems decided to join in and now mares and stallions were rutting each other senseless. "Well buck." Shouted Seph loudly as he drank a bottle of Chardonnay that somepony had carelessly left out. As he finished chugging the bottle Dyrilby finished barfing up the contents of his alcohol induced madness and fell into the seething masses of the equines. Seph merely shouted something about prancing around with heads full of eyeballs and passed out. (This was a production of my left hand, a jar of formaldehyde, a miniature tree and about 3 small bags of brown-brown...CHEERS!)
Mind Fuck Part 1 (DB)(Ah, so now we come to a chapter written by me, Dyrilby. Tonight we graze in hell!) In the aftermath of the massive party which involved a buck-ton of sex, alcohol and illicit substances, the city of Manehattan returned to normal. Or at least as normal as it can be with Confetti, Pinkie, Seph and Dyrilby running around. There were still massive explosions randomly happening, the cause of which was Pinkie and Seph filling the sewer with several thousand fire crackers in a drunken rampage. The city hall was a smouldering ruin in a large crater after an atomic bomb had “accidently” been launched from the secret facility in which our heroes were now being held hostage. “Okay, what the hay happened? How did we end up being tied to chairs by the ESP?” Confetti yelled. (Equestrian Secret Police, FYI.) “Dude… I’m so high. That light looks pretty… So shiny…” Seph muttered before falling asleep and lolling back in his chair. “Wait. Why am I here?! I’m not the one who decided to break into the Manehattan Project! Damn it, Confetti! I leave you alone for 5 minutes and you suddenly decide to turn this city in Fallout! Bah!” Yelled Dyrilby, “And where’s Pinkie by the way? She was here a second ago.” “Surprise! Hehe, silly. Ponies can’t be tied to chairs, because we don’t have hands, silly. I mean, how did they even tie the rope without fingers? That doesn’t make any sense!” giggled Pinkie. “Oh. THERE she is. Standing behind you, somehow holding a knife. Well that’s just great. Care to untie us, Pinks?” Said Confetti. “Sure thing, as soon as I kill Dyrilby, we can all leave.” “Wait. Kill me? You’re going to kill me? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m getting out of here!” cried Dyrilby, as he unfurled his wings and flew towards the door, but missing it by half a metre and hiting his head on the wall, causing him to fall unconscious. “Um, Pinkie? I think the Cupcakes joke is starting to get a little old. I think you should put the knife down now too. You’re beginning to scare me.” “I’m not joking, Confetti. His number came up. It’s his turn to be baked.” She replied. “Wait. How does he even have a number? He’s an OC, like myself. We aren’t canon, so we don’t have numbers!” “Oh yeah. Well… My bad. I’ll go wake him up.” She said, before pouring a bucket of water of Dyrilby, waking him up. “Shit, oh shit, oh shit! Stay the fuck away from me, you crazy bitch!” Dyrilby yelled. “Calm down, silly! I’m not going to turn you into cupcakes!” “Can you get rid of the knife then and untie me?” “Sure thing!” So our group of assorted individuals, yes they can be bought singly or in a bundle, left the secret facility without alerting the guards. Don’t ask me how, but they all magically seemed to have disappeared. When suddenly: a Smoker from Left 4 Dead appeared and grabbed Seph! “Hooley shit! Get this thing offa me!” Seph screamed. Pinkie somehow found a chainsaw and cut the darned things tongue off. “Wait… What’s with all the alternate universes we seem to randomly appear in? Damn it, authors of this intriguing tale, why do you keep fucking with our minds?! Why?!” Confetti yelled into the night. As he yelled this, an alert appeared on everyone’s heads up display: Confetti has alerted the horde! As you can probably guess, this led to much fighting and bloodshed. Fear not though, readers. The heroes can’t die in a story! They must always pull through to defeat the bad guy! Which in this case is likely me, the co-author of this story, for fucking with people’s minds. Suddenly, in the middle of the massive battle, the TARDIS appeared, squashing the tank. Doctor Whooves jumped out and yelled, “Quickly! Get in the TARDIS so we can put a stop to this madness once and for all!” Naturally, the heroes followed his advice and entered the TARDIS, and slamming the door on the horde outside. “Now, ladies and mentlegen, where would you like to go?” “To the author of this damn fiction's house. I want to tear him apart for making us go through this!” “Now, now. Let’s not have this end in bloodshed. If you just get him to behave and not throw you in some other arena for sport, you could let him live. After all, he did send me to rescue you!” “True enough. I still want to see him though!” said Confetti, “To the authors place of residence!” True enough, the TARDIS appeared in my, the author of this chapter, bedroom, crushing one of my $500 guitars, causing me to rage so hard my floor turned to lava. Now forgive me, as there are two Dyrilby’s in this part so I must move into the first person of my, the author’s, perspective. VWORP* *VWORP* *VWORP “Le huh? Oh shit. No, no, no. This is very bad! This wasn’t supposed to happen! Curse these alternate realities and paradoxes! Damn you to hell, I say!” I yelled in surprise. “Hello there author. Or should I just call you Dyrilby?!” Screeched Pinkamena. “Wait, I’m Dyrilby! That’s who I am?! What the hell?!” Dyrilby yelled. “He is you, Dyrilby. He created you along with the place known as the OC.” Confetti said. “Yeah, guys, about that… I know why you’re here. You’re here to put a stop to this madness that I’ve created by writing this chapter. I also know how to stop you. Behold: My personal army; /b/! Oh… Wait. Never mind, no personal army. Heh, what do you know? I’ll behave! Don’t kill me! And put that knife down Pinkie!” I said. “You had better not fuck us over any more than you already have, you bastard!” Confetti yelled. “Wait. I’m the author of this story! You can’t tell me what to do! I can fuck you over as much as I want!” I yelled before Pinkie jumped at me with a knife, stabbing me in the eye. “Die, die, die!” Screamed Pinkie. “Pinkie, stop killing him!” Yelled Dyrilby as he pulled her off of me, “If he dies, we’re stuck here and I disappear!” “Hehe, oopsie.” She giggled as she pulled the knife out of my face, causing me to yell in pain. “We’ll let you live then. Now don’t mess with our heads again!” Seph said angrily. “Deal! Just get that crazy bitch away from me!” I yelled. And so our heroes entered the TARDIS once again and travelled back to Equestria. Or rather, they would have if I hadn’t wanted to get revenge on them for losing my eye, which had promptly grown back anyway. So I decided to send them to the world of Garry’s Mod. TO BE CONTINUED
Datdamnface a.k.a DDF: Author's noteHey hey hey! It's a me! An aborted fetus! No seriously though i'm back and over the writer's block which I have to say, a little Dr. Steel goes a long way along with some Parov Stelar, if you don't know search em both up. Either way all I gotta say is I'm happy to report I (I dunno bout DB) with a bit of help got Lance's permission for using Living the Dream and It is gonna be a royal shitstorm when I gonna write. That being said, I'ma let DB finish with his shit. Then we're gonna take a canoe and paddle up shit creak. Oh! And if any of y'all could? Spread this story around, I wanna do as many cameos and universe jumps as possible. Just comment and shit about which story y'all wanna see crashed and I'll be doing that. Oh and DYRILBY HURRY THE FUK UP OR I WILL EAT YOUR FACE AND OVARIES. That being said, umm.....umm.......derp I got nothing. Ummmmm............oh yeah! Also y'all can ask if you guys want me to do any other story themes. Like romance or grim or tragedy. If there's a story idea you don't like or you can't right then just send em my way. And on that note; HOW ABOUT SOME WEEPING ANGELS?!? NO? TO BAD IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU. Ohohohohohoho you say it isn't? Just go to bed, don't blame me if you hear scrabbling in your closet. Goodnight.. mehehehehehe.
