Stage Act
Lulamoon rounded the corner, the wagon that was her stage and home trailing behind her. The next town on her tour came was only a mile or so more, the thatched roofs just able to be spotted. Ponyville was a little more…rural than other cities she’d performed in, but she was sure that they’d enjoy her act just the same. Manehatten, Trottingham, even Canterlot had all loved her show, one mare with dozens of unique characters that she changed into with the ease that only came after years of practice. Well, practice, and the fact that it was her special talent, of course
At the thought of her cutie mark, Lula turned her head to look at her flank, twin masks of comedy and drama. She’d always been so proud of that mark, ever since she performed at her school talent show, when everypony else had worked together, creating boring skits about friendship, Lula had brought the house down with her hilarity. Well, she might have been remembering that slightly exaggerated, but the memory still brought a warm feeling to her. On that day she’d found a way to stop being Lulamoon (a name she’d always resented), and start being whoever she wanted.
Focusing back on her show, Lula went through a mental checklist of what characters she would perform as. Rockwing, the overly cocky pegasus who couldn’t even fly, was a sure thing, but not as a starting act. She could do a bit as Moonshine, the country bumpkin astronomer. As she trotted a few steps more, she decided that was a horrible idea. An obvious solution popped into Lulamoon’s brain. The Great and Powerful Trixie was a crowd favourite! Everypony loved how arrogant she was, and ponies loved to watch colts trying to impress their dates, only to be defeated by clever parlour tricks. Lula was proud of how much her magic had improved since she’d started preparing the role. Magic had never been her strong suit, but now she could summon small objects from ‘thin air’ (actually an enchanted box in her wagon), and levitate with precision. Only a few more hours until Lulamoon could perform in front of a new crowd, and already she had the exhilarating mixture of fear and excitement.
Lulamoon looked in the mirror one last time, combing her mane into the trademark Trixie style, and carefully sticking on the wand and magic decal over her own cutie mark. She retrieved her hat and cape from her costume wardrobe, and as she put them on, practised a few lines, trying to slide into the show mare’s speech. Taking a breath she stepped out onto the stage, ready to wow the crowd.
That could have gone better. While she was used to heckling, it was usually from drunk stallions, and not mares with impressive skillsets. It had taken all of Lula’s quick thinking and limited magical ability to defeat them. And then the show had ended pre-emptively, with Lulamoon being booed off the stage. Either her act was terrible, which couldn’t be possible, or these ponies were all crazy, unable to separate reality from fiction.
There was one good side to this day though. Two young colts, Snips and Snails, had taken a shine to “The G and P T”, as they called her. The sight of those two boys sheepishly asking for her autograph after the show had convinced Lula that the whole thing was worth it. She’d stayed in character, even when they’d showed up at her wagon later on. After a few minutes of her arrogantly boasting about feats of power, Lulamoon sent them off with a couple of bits to get the “Grrrrreatest unicorn in all of Equestria” a hay smoothie. After that, they’d wandered off, and were probably out playing with friends.
Yet a few hours later, Lulamoon had fallen asleep, still dressed as Trixie. There was a frantic pounding at the door of her wagon.
“Trixie! Triiiiixie!”
“Trixie thought she said the Great and Powerful Trixie did not want to be disturbed!”
The colts looked nervous, and she wondered what had to be so important for them to come interrupting her in the late evening.
Snips stuttered
“We have a tiny problem.”
“Actually, it's a big one.” Snails added
“What is so important that you cannot wait until morning to disturb Trixie?”
Lulamoon’s question was answered when a huge lumbering beast stomped down the street. It roared, and Lula screamed, galloping away at breakneck speed. She looked back just long enough to see her wagon crushed beneath the monster’s feet. Years of work on that wagon, building it from scratch, constant repairs, and making it her home, were undone in a second. Lulamoon kept running.
The colts followed her into town, and the beast followed them. Snips told her, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.
“Great and Powerful Trixie, you've got to vanquish the ursa.”
“Yeah, vanquish so we can watch.”
“It took a lot of trouble to get that thing here.”
What.
“Wait, you brought this here? Are you out of your little pony minds!?”
“But, you're the Great and Powerful Trixie!”
Of course she was. Lulamoon felt sort of responsible for the whole mess though, so she decided to try and help. Telling them to stay clear, she tried tying it up with rope. There was only enough to tie two claws together, so that was unsuccessful. A thunderbolt to the rump only made it angrier as well. Out of ideas, Lulamoon just screamed.
The purple mare who’d run away room her show earlier, galloped up to them. The colts told the unicorn that they’d brought the Ursa Major to town, but not to worry, Trixie could fix it.
“I can’t!”
Snips and Snails were shocked, and she felt a pang of guilt for shattering the illusion.
“I can't, I never have. No one can vanquish an Ursa Major. I just made the whole story up to make me look better.”
After all, what was a character without a big story? She could understand the colts not getting that she was an actor, but why did that purple mare look so angry too?
More importantly, however, there was a raging star-beast trying to eat her!
The purple mare, Twilight, was amazing! She had defeated the Ursa Major with unparalleled magical ability. Lulamoon couldn't help but listen in on her and her friends’ conversation.
“…hated Trixie's showing off with her magic…”
“…do with it. Trixie's just a loud-mouth.”
“…so intrigued by Trixie's bragging…”
Wait. These ponies actually thought Trixie was a real pony. How could they have not heard the rave reviews from her last show in Trottingham? Lula turned back to their conversation.
“That wasn't an Ursa Major, it was a baby, an Ursa Minor.”
“That was a baby!?” Lula exclaimed.
Sweet Celestia, if those colts had angered a Ursa Major, she’d have been dead! All because of those delusional ponies. She had to get out of there before they started turning on ‘Trixie’. It was time to think fast.
“You may have vanquished an Ursa Minor, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie!”
Lulamoon threw a smoke bomb, and galloped away as fast as her hooves could take her. Away from her destroyed wagon, and all her possessions. Away from the town where all the ponies were crazy.
