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Operation Slickpony

Brave Agent Pubeit Agent Pubeit was very brave

Let me tell you of his deeds so his glory will not fade

The poor ponies of Ponyville were going about their day

When a disgusting half-naked man jumped out and put himself in their way

This man he was covered in vaseline and toenail clippings and pubes

All the shit Agent Pubeit touched would never again be used

He started at the library when Twilight and Spike not there

And when he was finished the books were covered in thick dark pubic hair

Brave Agent Pubeit then ran half naked down the street

But he was far from finished for there were ponies he still had to meet

The courageous anonymous agent burst through the baker's front door

And left his slippery pubic present everywhere once more

Cupcakes now all ruined Agent Pubeit got out of there

The ponies could not catch this pubic fiend for touch him they did not dare

Agent Pubeit stole an aeroplane so that he could reach up high

Soon there was a horrible mess stuck to all the clouds in the sky

Rainbow Dash tried to grab him but he was just too slippery

With his protective coating of vaseline Agent Pubeit remained free

Even at that moment there were other things being done

Interference we ran so Agent Pubeit could finish his run

Twilight and Spike were kept from telling the princess what we had in store

Because our hackers on steroids replaced all their letters with rule 34

Brave Agent Pubeit came to the house of Fluttershy

He kicked in the front door with determination in his eye

The half-naked man took her animals and covered them in hair

And vaseline and toenail clippings with the utmost gentle care

All of this disgustingness was then transported to Rarity's home

A lot of shit went down in there but Agent Pubeit held his own

Dresses were ruined and diamonds were stained and pubes got everywhere

A sickening mess he made of the boutique and left Rarity in despair

Agent Pubeit headed for the last place in Ponyville he was to hit

And Applejack wasn't fast enough to stop Speedy Agent Pubeit

All her apples got covered in his pubesluck vaseline

Providing us all with lulz from this extremely lulzy scene

Then Princess Celestia got there and Agent Pubeit ran for it

Because she was really pissed at him for doing all that shit

The Princess used her magic but she couldn't get a grip

All the vaseline on him just made her magic slip

And so Agent Pubeit got away to laugh another day

Also if you actually read all this then you are fucking gay