Stimulus Plan

by FillyreichHayek

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Sex, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Doctor Whooves
Length: 1361

Equestria is in a terrible recession. Only the girls (with some help) can save it.

When Equestria falls into the doldrums of a terrible recession (as predicted by Fillyreich Hayek, due to its terrible Keynsian economic policies), Twilight Sparkle is summoned by Princess Celestia herself to find a solution to the problem! She is sent to Marehatten to find the enigmatic Dr. Hooves, who promises to field a solution that will get Equestrian economy back on its feet again. But when the girls meet two fabulous ponies, thing don't go quite as planned in this quirky, thoughtful, and twisted tale...

Published 2012-11-28 08:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-28 08:20:01 UTC

Chapter 1

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Great changes had wracked the plains and forests of Equestria. Everypony was suffering the effect of the great economic meltdown of 2012. The fields of Applejack had caught fire and burnt to the ground in a sudden thunderstorm. Even Pinkie Pie's indefatigable spirit had wilted when Mr. and Mrs. Cake had laid her off. Times were tough everywhere.

Little did anypony know that the economic meltdown was not the result of Princess Celestia's Keynesianism run amok, though Ron Pony decried it often on Ocelot & Friends. Instead, there was a rather more sinister force at work in Equestria. Nothing helped the ever-increasing tide of homeless ponies on the streets of Ponyville. Even as Ocelot & Friends decried the ever increasing hordes of those seeking help before the throne of Princess Celestia, suggesting that her plans for hoof-ready apple-planting jobs would drive Equestria back into the doldrums of debt while not putting anypony back to work, Twilight Sparkle brought a curious proposition before her mistress.

"We need to get out of Ponyville, Princess. Free trade is the best solution for economic recession; Fillyreich Hayek taught us that. We won't solve this recession by focusing on the ponies in Ponyville."

"What do you suggest, my darling?" Princess Celestia put her hoof up on the stool; Twilight Sparkle obediently leaned forward, her deft tongue cleaning the hoof.

"Well, Mistress," Twilight Sparkle replied between careful licks, "If we could lead a trade mission to Manehattan, perhaps we could bring in outside investment to broaden our capitalbase and put everypony back to work with new, high-paying jobs like Fillyreich Hayek suggests."

Princess Celestia sighed, setting her right front hoof up on the stool with the left.

"I'm afraid that I'll miss your delicate tongue, my dear. And your studies will suffer."

Twilight Sparkle looked up at her adoringly.

"I'm sorry, mistress…" she lowered her head, redoubling her effort on this new gift, cleaning every drop of dirt from the hoof. "I don't want to disappoint you. I just thought that helping Equestria would please you."

"It would, darling. But perhaps not as much as your lovely talented tongue. Come… let us put it to good use and then I will let you go assemble your friends for this mission. Hopefully, you will be able to return happiness to Equestria…and your return will return pleasure to me."

"Thank you, Mistress!"

From the window of Celestia's solarium, the eyes of an almost-invisible figure followed the two ponies as they retired to Princess Celestia's more private accommodations.

"Exactly as planned."

* * *

"What do you mean we're going to Marehatten?"

Twilight Sparkle stretched languidly, relaxed with pleasure; she always looked that way when she returned from visiting Princess Celestia.

Rainbow Dash frowned.

"And what happened to your flanks? Did you run through some brambles or something?"

"Oh…no… I was just…training…with Princess Celestia." Twilight Sparkle shook her head, her indigo mane flashing lightly. "I'm sorry…did I miss something? I just feel so…"

"Marehatten!"

"Oh… Marehatten…well, if you'd studied any Fillyreich Hayek instead of Keynes, you'd know that the best way to put everypony back to work is to increase trade…so we're going to lead a trade delegation. To encourage investment in capital in Ponyville and put anypony who wants to back to work. Nobody wants the rainbow factory."

"But Twilight Sparkle," Fluttershy said, after a moment, "Won't that result in the big-city ponies owning our industries? Owning us, too?"

"Mm…that might not be so bad," Twilight Sparkle whispered. "Might even be very, very good…I bet they have hooves that need cleaning, and if I don't do a great job…"

"What?" Rainbow Dash frowned. "What is Princess Celestia putting in your head up there? I told you it was a waste of time for you to go. She's not good for you, Twilight Sparkle."

"Oh…um… nothing." Twilight Sparkle's light violet body flushed a brighter pink for a second, and she shook her head. "Sorry…my mind was elsewhere."

"When do we leave?" asked Applejack. "I'd better go put together some supplies. You know, for the trip. And who are we going to meet there?"

"Princess Celestia has…arranged for us to meet with someone by the name of Doctor Hooves in Marehatten. He'll know what to do with us, she said." She trembled lightly at the last sentence.

Rainbow Dash trotted in a quick circle, her mane flying.

"I don't see why we're waiting around here. Let's get started!"

It took Applejack almost an hour to corral an all-too-willing Twilight Sparkle, a depressed Pinkie Pie and a suspicious Rainbow Dash, but eventually, the ponies had set out on the trot to Marehatten. It was a long trot, and as they walked, they spent much time discussing the industries that they believed should come to Ponyville.

"Well," Applejack began, "I think that planting the orchards again would be a good start. And maybe growing some of our own flour. So that what happened won't happen again."

"No…" Twilight Sparkle said dreamily. "We need a leatherworks… and perhaps a nice opulent boarding house where foreign ponies can come and…relax…and have all their needs attended to."

"No!" Rainbow Dash threw out her hooves and tossed her mane. "We can't just have them invest. We need to start a track. Anypony can race, and place bets, and we'll take a percentage off the top. It'll be a great way to attract secondary investment and rich ponies to Equestria!"

Pinkie Pie sighed. "We can't just all think for ourselves about this."

But as the debate began to falter, they saw the high towers and barbicons of Marehatten rising in the distance, that vast bastion of capitalist oppression. In the fields surrounding Marehatten, ponies toiled under the lash of their Pegasai overseers, who wielded their whips eagerly and without hesitation.

As they approached, a pony faltered under the lash, cried out in pain, and sank down.

"But sir, I cannot pick apples faster!"

"Then you have failed me for the last time, Ozzel."

The whip rose again; and again.

Beside Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle stumbled, her knees giving out.

"I know!" Pinkie Pie whispered. "It's terrible."

Twilight Sparkle swallowed, breathing hard; her face and mane were flushed with color.

"Yes…terrible, Pinkie Pie. I don't know how anyone could live…with this…day, after day, after day…" She let out a soft sound halfway between a moan and a whimper.

They entered Marehattan, hooves clattering on the cobbled streets.

"It's even worse here than in Ponyville," Fluttershy whispered.

Everywhere, ponies scattered about their business, their coats dulled and dim. Dark grey carts with black crosses on the sides patrolled the streets, pulled by pairs of black stallions, their necks enclosed in thick, tooled metal collars. Beside them trotted pairs of Pegasai, horns the only things in Marehattan sparkling.

"You can't stick around here!"

The voice that spoke was quick and low. "The rainbow patrols will get you if you linger too long."

"I don't see any rainbows," Applejack pointed out sensibly.

The dark, cross-hatched pony that pointed with one hoof shook his head. "Those carts! If they see you lagging…well, you don't want to know. Do you have papers?"

"Papers?"

"Yes! To move around! If they don't see your papers…"

"No… we didn't know…we needed papers?"

The pony moaned; his hooves clattered, and then they were alone in the street.

"Well..." Applejack looked around doubtfully. "We will have to go find Doctor Hooves." She strode over to a young filly buying a pair of sad-looking apples at a half-shuttered street stall.

"Hi!" she said. "I'm Applejack, and I'm looking for Doctor Hooves!"

"The Doctor? You don't find him. He finds you." She trembled. "And be glad he often doesn't."

Before she could speak again, she too had clattered off down the street.

One of the Pegasai escorting one of the carts that the first pony had called a rainbow patrol looked over at them.

"I think we should flee," Fluttershy said nervously. "Try to find our way to Doctor Hooves…"

"I wouldn't worry about that." Two more Pegasai had appeared from behind them. "He's found you."