Chapters The Fashionista's Dilemma
It had been a very eventful day for me -- having woken up as Twilight Sparkle, confusing my wife, and nearly losing my ability to use magic, traveling to Equestria, meeting Princess Celestia no less, as well as Twilight herself! After having been sent home by the Princess, Brenda had gone upstairs to get some rest. I had laid down as well, but sleep didn't seem to be calling me. I decided to go downstairs to check my facebook status -- and to update it to see if people (or ponies) would think that having transformed into Twilight Sparkle would possibly get me more friend invites. Most of my "friends" were fellow players in some of the games I indulged in. Call it a guilty pleasure if you like, but Mafia Wars was simply too tempting to resist. Curiosity got the better of me, and I started searching for people who might also have been transformed into ponies.
"Hmm, someone named Nick woke up as Rarity, interesting. Let's see if he's online," I mused. I sent a friend request, and was amazed to get an almost instantaneous response. I quickly accepted, and opened a chat with Nick.
"Hey, Nick, what's up?" I typed in. As Twilight, I was able to use my mind to manipulate the keyboard with relative ease, the typing keeping up with my telekinetic keystrokes. "I can't believe how much faster I can type this way! " I thought.
"This is Jacquelynn, I am typing for Nick, since he has no hands as Rarity" she typed.
"I would like to meet up and talk pony to pony," I typed.
"He wants to know if you're really you," she responded.
"Yep, Twilight Sparkle, in the flesh," I typed in.
"WOW!" was the response. Don't know if that was Jacquelynn or Nick.
"I need an address," I typed. The response came fairly quickly, and I searched maps for a street-view of the address. The mapping program listed driving directions, which also helped, but I was going to teleport there. "Austin, eh? That's quite a jump," I thought.
"Will be there in a few -- be prepared to see Twilight at your door!" I typed in response. Suddenly, a loud POP resounded in my bedroom, directly above where I was sitting at the computer. Xaviera and her kids heard this as well.
"Mike, what the heck was that?" Xaviera asked.
"Somepony teleported into our room," I said. "I wonder who it is." Brenda stomped on the floor to get my attention. This is how she would usually summon me if she needed anything.
"Michael! Michael! Where are you?" came a familiar female voice.
"Princess Celestia! I am downstairs in the basement!" I announced loudly enough for her to hear me. She teleported again with a flash of light and a golden POP. Xaviera and her kids were frightened by this display. The Princess had a worried look on her face.
"Michael, Discord has broken free from his prison, and abducted Twilight. I need YOU to be the replacement for her!"
"Whoa there, Princess, take it easy," I said.
"Michael! I need you! NOW!" she exclaimed frantically.
"What makes you think I can be a suitable replacement for the Element of Magic?" I asked quizzically.
"Because you and her have so much in common -- you can use magic just as efficiently as her, and --"
"Sorry to cut you off there, Princess, but I was actually talking to a human who woke up in Rarity's body earlier," I said.
"Rarity? The Element of Generosity? In THIS world?" she asked incredulously.
"Down in Austin, Texas, about 800 miles from here," I said nonchalantly.
"We need to get her to come along with us!" Celestia exclaimed, quite a bit of excitement on her face. This emotional display from the Princess was most unusual, as she normally conducts herself with a bit more calmness. I guess Discord's escape had exposed the cracks in her facade.
"I have the address so we can get going," I said, then looked up at the ceiling. "Brenda! I'm going on a little mission! I will return soon!" I shouted at the ceiling. I don't know if she heard me or not, but I'm also pretty sure Xaviera would tell her mama later about what was going on.
"Okay, Michael, we're off!" Celestia said, almost beaming a wide smile.
"Nick, someone named Michael sent you a friend request!" Jacquelynn announced. "Says he's been transformed into Twilight."
"Wow! Really? Accept it, see if he's online, I wanna talk to him!" he said excitedly. The prospect of actually meeting another human transformed into a pony was thrilling indeed.
"Okay, we're in chat mode now. He says, 'Hi, Nick, what's up'?"
"Let him know it's you typing for me -- I also want to know if he's really Twilight."
"He says, 'Yep, Twilight Sparkle in the flesh'."
"WOW! I can't wait to meet up with him!" he exclaimed, almost joyfully. Rarity was also bouncing up and down inside his head, as she was going to meet up with her best friend for the first time in a few days. "Rarity, please stop, that hurts."
"I can't wait to meet Twilight!" she said. Jacquelynn echoed the same sentiment.
"He says he needs an address."
"Okay, I guess, I don't feel too comfortable giving that out, but if he's in Twilight's body, I'm sure he's willing to help us out."
"Do you think he can contact Princess Celestia in that form?" Rarity asked.
"I typed that in, but haven't gotten a response other than, 'Be prepared to see Twilight at your door'."
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, there was a frantic knocking at the front door of Nick's house. Jacquelynn opened the front door to see both Twilight and Princess Celestia.
"WOW! Twilight! Princess Celestia! WOW!!"
"Who might you be? And how do you know our names?" Princess Celestia asked Jacquelynn.
"I was just talking to Twilight on the computer just a minute ago. How'd you get here so fast?"
"Teleportation is very useful," I chuckled.
"The Princess? Here? But HOW?" Nick was flabbergasted. Rarity was overjoyed by the possibility of finally getting her body back.
"Rarity! What a pleasant surprise! It pains me to meet under such unfortunate circumstances," Celestia said with some disappointment.
"What's wrong, Princess?"
"Discord has escaped his prison in my realm, and abducted Twilight." Rarity's ears drooped.
"You already know this?" she asked me.
"Yes, unfortunately. I don't know if you're up for the challenge, but since you're in the body of one of the Elements, you might as well come along for the ride," I said, half-smiling. "When we get back, I'm sure Princess Celestia will be able to help you get things straightened out."
The Fashionista's Dilemma
"What do you mean, 'Come along for the ride'?" Nick asked with great trepidation. "I don't want to die! I'm too young! I haven't lived enough! I --"
"What you fail to realize, Nick, is that you have a responsibility as one of the Elements. And since I'm the lead Element, that means I have an even greater responsibility to help Princess Celestia with this particular situation. If you come along with us, you will get to see Ponyville and Canterlot Castle, and you will even get to meet your counterpart in Equestria." I was trying to be diplomatic about this matter, but Princess Celestia glowered at me in disapproval.
"Stop trying to do my job, Michael! I understand you mean well, but if Rarity's body is being controlled by Nick, then I wonder if he'll know what to do."
"Begging your pardon, Your Majesty, but Rarity is in that body as well. There are two minds in the same body, and I was going to ask for your counsel on this matter, as I'm sure both of them want their respective bodies back."
"That's right!" Nick exclaimed. "How much longer do I have to stay in this body?"
"I want my body to myself, Princess! There are things he has done earlier..." Rarity tried to explain.
"I apologized for that, Rarity!"
"Okay, I forgive you."
"I am confused by this discussion you are having with yourself," Princess Celestia mused.
"Are you done arguing with yourself?" Jacquelynn asked as her initial amusement gave way to annoyance.
"We don't have time to be dithering," I said, trying to get the focus back on the immediacy of the crisis. "Nick? Rarity? Are both of you willing to come to Equestria? Princess, shall we be off again?"
"You are too eager to get this over with, Michael. What is your urgency?" Celestia asked, giving me the impression that she was annoyed by my impatience.
"I would like to help Nick and Rarity with their particular conundrum as well," I said.
"Twilight, darling, must you try to take charge all the time?"
"Just part of my nature, Rarity. If Discord has already abducted Twilight in Equestria, there's no telling if he is on his way to take the others as well. I hope we can get there in time to rescue the others, use the Elements and imprison him again."
"Michael, do you think you're up to this challenge? You know how dangerous Discord is, don't you?"
"I have confidence in my abilities, Princess Celestia, and I have a plan to rescue the others. I am hoping I don't let you down on this mission."
"You sure sound confident," Nick mused. "You may wield lots of magic as Twilight, but what if things go wrong?"
"There's a small matter of planning for every contingency, Nick. I wouldn't go blindly into combat of any kind without making the necessary preparations."
"Is that Twilight talking or you?"
"Could be both of us, Nick. Truth be told, though, I don't feel the presence of Twilight in this body -- just me."
"Please, Nick or Rarity or both of you, make a decision as we have little time to waste," Celestia urged.
"Nick, come home safe, for my sake, please!" Jacquelynn pleaded. I hoped we wouldn't face too much danger, but with Discord, you could never tell. "Please, Princess, protect him and let him come home safely!"
"I will do my best to ensure he returns safely to you, Jacquelynn. I am confident in Michael's abilities, as he has the full complement of Twilight's magic at his disposal. He has shown remarkable talent and courage, and I believe he will be able to fulfill his responsibilities."
"I guess I finally get to understand what it truly means to be Twilight Sparkle," I said with some reservation in my voice. "I only hope I can live up to the expectations and achieve the goals I have set for myself as Twilight."
"You're setting yourself up for failure if you do that, Michael," Celestia advised.
"I aim for the stars, Princess -- I expect no less of myself."
"Is that Twilight talking or you?" Nick asked with even more apprehension in Rarity's voice.
"Then do your best, Michael. You have my trust -- try not to betray it, for your sake as well as mine."
"Seeya later, Nick. Come home safe! Princess? Can you return him to his human self when he comes back?"
"I will see to it that your request is fulfilled," Celestia smiled softly, perhaps just a trace of sadness at the corners of her mouth and eyes.
We teleported to Canterlot Castle, in the Royal Throne Room. Nick was gawking at the display of banners, stained glass windows, the murals in the floor, the decorations on the walls...
"We have no time for idle musing at the decorations, Nick. We have to formulate a plan to banish Discord. Michael, since your teleportation is quite strong, you go to Ponyville and gather the Elements as best you can. Nick, I will need to discuss several things with you, including gleaning from you all the information you can give me about yourself."
"I will do my best, Princess -- however, I only know where Pinkie Pie and Rarity stay -- and I need to know where the others live. I fear that too much time may have passed, and I need to know where Rainbow Dash lives."
"Rainbow stays in Cloudsdale, darling," Rarity said. "And Fluttershy is on the edge of the Everfree Forest."
"Applejack's farm is south of Ponyville by a mile or so," Nick said. I guess he had seen more episodes of the TV show than I had. I chuckled, reflecting upon my lack of knowledge about Equestria.
"Okay, Princess, I will start at Sugar Cube Corner and work my way around from there. Hopefully we can make short work of this."
"I must raise the sun now, please excuse me for a few moments." Celestia left to take care of that matter as Nick shifted on his hooves nervously, a very concerned look on his face, drooping ears and all.
"I'll be back," I said, trying to do my best Arnold voice.
"Make sure you do," Nick replied. "I don't wanna be stuck like this for much longer!"
Nick was left alone in the throne room, save for a small squad of Royal Guards. He trotted around the throne room admiring all the various decorations. Presently, Princess Celestia returned from raising the sun and started asking Nick some questions about himself and how he woke up as Rarity.
I teleported to Sugar Cube Corner and knocked on the front door. Mr. Cake was already up and answered.
"Hey, Twilight, what can I do for you?" he asked, a broad smile on his face.
"Sorry to bother you, Mr. Cake, but have you seen Pinkie Pie?"
"No, can't say I have. Usually, she's up early helping out in the store. I have no idea where she is."
"May I come in and look for her?"
"Certainly, Twilight! I hope you find her, we're kind of busy today."
"Thank you, Mr. Cake," I said, entering the shop. I looked around, went upstairs calling for her. I got no response, so I went back downstairs. "Mr. Cake, I fear she is gone -- I will try to find out what happened to her and hopefully get her back her for you. Thanks for your assistance, seeya later."
"Okay, Twilight, take care. See you soon!" he called out as I left for Rarity's boutique. I galloped over there as quickly as I could, knocking frantically at her front door. I was very impatient, and knocked forcefully on the door about fifteen times, very rapidly. I got no answer, but heard a mewling from behind the door.
"Opal? Is that you?" I asked. "Meow?"
"Mew, mew," came the response. I was crestfallen, but couldn't let that bother me. I had to get to Sweet Apple Acres!
I spotted the farm as I galloped through back yards, jumping a couple of fences, and galloping down an alleyway. The farmhouse itself came into view at this point, so I teleported to the front door. More frantic knocking was answered by Big Macintosh.
"Twilight, what's the matter? Yer knockin' like th' end of th' world is comin'!"
"I need to speak to your sister, Mac, is she here?"
"She should be out in the orchard, lots of trees to buck today," he said.
"That orchard is pretty big, can you be a little more specific with which part she'd be in?"
"I dunno, Twi, she could be anywhere in there."
"Okay, Mac, I will start searching for her -- I hope she's out there!"
"My sis is strong enough to take care of anythin' that might even think of harmin' her," he said.
"What if it's Discord?" I asked, great concern marking my features.
"Well, in that case, I'd better go out there and help ya find her," he said.
We both went out to the orchard, calling for Applejack, but couldn't find her after about fifteen minutes or so of searching.
"I fear it might be too late," I said. "Maybe I can find Fluttershy?"
"Okay, Twi, I'll keep looking. I'll tell her yer lookin' for her."
"If you find her, keep her in the house until I get back. We need to get to Princess Celestia to formulate a battle plan. By the way, can you point me in the direction of Fluttershy's house?"
"Ee-yup, it's over that way," he said, pointing a hoof in the general direction of the forest.
"Okay, Mac, be seeing you! Thanks!" I said, smiling a little. I galloped as fast as I could towards Fluttershy's house.
I managed to find Fluttershy's house and knocked way too loudly on the door. My impatience was getting the better of me. I heard no response, but as I was about to leave, I felt a slight tugging at my tail. I turned around to see who was pulling my tail -- a small white bunny with a worried look on its face.
"Angel? Angel Bunny?" I asked, a little unsure if this was him. He nodded his head.
"Is Fluttershy inside?" I asked. He shook his head and shrugged.
"Did Discord take her?" I asked, starting to get nervous. He shook his head and shrugged again.
"How about Rainbow? Where is Cloudsdale?" I asked. He turned to his left and pointed up in the direction a few times. I turned to follow where he was pointing his foot, looking up a bit. There appeared to be a city in the clouds about 20 miles or so away. "Thanks Angel, I will see if I can find Rainbow. I hope I can bring Fluttershy back home for you soon." He nodded his head and turned away.
I teleported to Cloudsdale, and started calling for Rainbow. I popped from one cloud to another, looking for a sign of the sky-blue pegasus, but was unable to find her. There were other pegasi around, and I asked a few if they had seen Rainbow Dash, but none of them had seen her. At this point, I was feeling rather dejected, so I teleported back to Canterlot Castle to relate the bad news to the Princess.
The teleport to the castle's throne room took a bit out of me, as I hadn't quite correctly calculated the distance. I slumped to the floor on my haunches to catch my breath and allow my magic to refill.
"Michael! Are you okay?" Princess Celestia asked, some worry creeping into her voice.
"I just need a few minutes to recover, Princess. All I have for you is bad news -- I was unable to locate ANY of the Elements -- it seems as though Discord is one step ahead of us. I am sorry I failed you, Your Majesty."
"Michael, please accompany me to the Royal Ballroom."
I hung my head, my ears drooping. "Yes, Your Majesty. I tried my best."
"You did all you could, Michael, given the circumstances. We must formulate a plan in the ballroom."
We trotted together in relative silence and I allowed my thoughts to wander. Where was every pony? Was I too late? Why was this new meeting being held in the Royal Ball Room? Wasn't that where the Grand Galloping Gala was held? I don't have any clothes...
"We are here," the Princess announced calmly. She opened the doors for me, and the interior was oddly dark.
The Fashionista's Dilemma
As I entered the Ball Room, the lights came on suddenly.
A chorus of "Surprise!" resounded throughout the entire room. There must have been at least two hundred ponies gathered together for this party. My face fell and I ran out of the room and retreated behind Princess Celestia.
"Michael, you are the guest of honor at this party! What's wrong?" Celestia asked me.
"I was under the impression Discord had escaped -- and yet, here are the Elements, and seemingly every pony in Canterlot, here to throw a party for me? Really?" I was flustered. I did not know how to handle this.
"But of course, Michael! Pinkie Pie had informed me of her plan to throw you a massive party, and I decided that the Royal Ball Room would be sufficiently large enough for a party for you," she stated, smiling softly.
"Princess Celestia, I am honored and humbled by this turn of events, but --" I was cut off by Pinkie Pie bouncing up to me in great excitement.
"Hiya, Mikey! I wanted to throw you the biggest, bestest party in Equestria! I even got the Princess to let me hold it in the biggest room in the castle! Aren't you happy? I thought you liked parties! Why did you run out of the room? What's wrong?"
"I appreciate the thought, Pinkie Pie, but truth be told, I have never felt comfortable at parties. Nothing personal, I assure you."
"But Mikey! You gotta come in! This party is for YOU! We can't have a party for you if you don't want to be a part of it! Please! For me! Please come in!" I saw her hair start to deflate, tears starting to well up in her eyes.
"Begging your pardon, Pinkie Pie, but I just can't. I can handle just about anything any pony could throw at me, but when it comes to parties, forget it. I turn into a turtle and retreat into my shell, I am just so terrified of parties..."
"But ... but ... but ... WHY??"
"The memories come flooding back -- like a tsunami of sadness, all those bad memories -- bad childhood -- I -- I --" I started crying. The tears flowed down my cheeks as my ears lay flat against my head, even my mane and tail lay flat.
"What? What do you mean? Please, Mike! Please! We're your friends! You're the guest of honor!"
Princess Celestia placed a wing around me in an attempt to comfort me. At this point I broke down, weeping and sobbing uncontrollably. My cries pierced the air with a deep sadness, causing some discomfort among the gathered ponies in the ball room. It seemed as though she could not comfort me despite her best attempts.
"Mike, what's wrong?" Twilight asked.
"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to!" I wailed, my sobs still wracking my body as I curled up on the floor, the Princess offering a look of deep sympathy as she continued her attempts to comfort me.
"He doesn't want to be in his own party!" Pinkie wailed, tears flowing down her cheeks, her hair totally flat.
"Mike, you need to understand something. I don't know what happened to you in your past -- but you need to overcome this fear of yours. I think that's what's wrong -- you're afraid," Twilight said softly. Her voice felt reassuring and I stopped crying.
"Twilight -- my childhood -- I --" I began.
"Would you like to know about my childhood? You think you had it bad? I was left alone in an orphanage! I was beaten by all the other ponies in the orphanage! It was terrible! Please, don't feel sorry for yourself!" she shouted indignantly, her words stinging with their volume and tone.
"Okay. Okay, Twilight. I'm sorry. I should have known. Pinkie, I'm sorry. I will come in."
"All right! Way to go, Mikey!" she shouted, her hair returning to its cotton-candy appearance.
Reluctantly, I re-entered the ball room, and decided to mingle as best I could. I was still quite nervous, seemingly checking behind me and made my way over to a corner of the room. Nick stopped me before I made it over to that corner.
"Hey Mike, great idea! I'm glad I came! Rarity and I talked a lot -- this is sooo cool! Now I'm glad I woke up as Rarity!"
"You can thank Pinkie Pie -- this was her idea. Frankly, I just want to jump out of my skin," I said, a very worried look on my face.
"Dude, what's wrong?"
"Nick, I absolutely HATE parties, especially when they're THIS big!" I said a bit too loudly.
"What do you mean you hate parties, darling? I thought you always enjoyed them!" Rarity said.
"Hey, Rarity, what do you think about meeting another you?" I asked, a smile making its way onto my features.
"Well, I was a bit freaked out at first, but what has me a bit more worried is that my other self is sharing her body with some male human. What's going to happen to her? What's going to happen to him ?"
"I was thinking Princess Celestia might have an answer for that," I mused. "But if Rarity's still inside him, that means we're in another alternate universe, and probably not the one we're supposed to be in."
"Mike, don't freak me out like that! I want my body back! What's gonna happen to me?" Nick was frantic.
"Nick, I can only hope the Princess has an answer for you, as I am unsure of what to do, other than try to have a body made for you, and transfer your psyche into that new body. Rarity deserves to have her body back, but you deserve yours no less than her. I guess I got lucky, as I am not sharing this body with Twilight."
"What did you say darling? You don't have Twilight in there with you?"
"As far as I can tell, Rarity, it's just me, Michael -- I woke up in this body just yesterday."
"I woke up as Rarity three days ago, and I'm still trying to get used to this body," Nick said.
"Speak for yourself, darling!" Nick's Rarity said.
"I'm sorry, Rarity!"
"Try not to get into another argument with yourself, please," I said. Rarity chuckled at this.
"Twilight, darling, do you have any other ideas?" Rarity asked me.
"Sorry to disappoint you, Rarity, but I'm Michael," I chuckled. "Twilight! Would you please come over and join us? I need to ask you for your expert opinion on something." She trotted over to us.
"Yes, Michael? What is it?"
"Twilight, have you been informed of Nick's situation?"
"Yes, Michael, the Princess let us know that he's sharing Rarity's body with his and her minds."
"Well, do you have any ideas as to how to get the two of them separated into their respective bodies?"
"Hmmm. I have been contemplating possible solutions to this problem for awhile, but nothing seems to be forthcoming -- I am not quite sure how to solve this one. I think Princess Celestia can help, though."
"I'm enjoying myself, but I really want to have my human body back," Nick said, still somewhat worried about possible outcomes. "What about you, Mike? Don't you want to go back to being a human?"
"I'm cool with this until Sunday night -- but come Monday, I need to be back in MY human body as well. I have certain obligations which require me to be my old human self. I am fairly sure the Princess can return me to that form, but as for you, Nick, yours is a special case, which will require something extra."
"I hope she hurries -- Rarity's not exactly my favorite pony."
"The feeling is mutual, Nick," his Rarity responded.
"I got lucky -- Twilight is my favorite pony," I mused.
"Oh, Mike, you flatter me!" Twilight almost cooed, blushing.
"Twilight, you look so cute when you do that," I said, smiling softly.
"Hey, Mikey! You wanna play pin the tail?" Pinkie asked me.
"No thank you, Pinkie, I'm having a discussion with Twilight and Rarity."
"Oh, Mikey, you're no fun! Why not?"
"You might as well ask me to cut my left ear off with a dull hacksaw," I replied. She pulled a dull hacksaw from seemingly out of nowhere. She looked at it, then looked at my left ear, then back at the hacksaw. She then pitched the hacksaw, and left, a dejected look on her face.
"Well, suit yourself, Mikey," she said sullenly.
"Hey, Mike, you enjoyin' yerself?" Applejack asked, smiling broadly.
"I'm enjoying myself about as much as if I were attending my own funeral," I responded.
"Mike, yer such a killjoy. Be seein' ya!" she grumbled and went back to mingle with the others.
"Mike, why must you be so mean to my friends?" Twilight asked, some exasperation creeping into her voice.
"I believe I tried to tell you earlier, Twilight, I detest parties. I have tried my best to avoid them ever since I was about four years old, when my very first actual birthday party was ruined. I never forgot the experience and subsequently resolved never to attend another party, even if my life depended on it. I may be in your body, but my experiences still color my behavior, atrocious though it may be. I apologize for angering your friends, but I just -- I just --" I tried to explain, but the tears started coming back -- I tried to hold them back, but was failing at that. "Excuse me, Twilight, I need some time to myself." I teleported to the Royal Gardens, just outside the Ball Room.
"Where are you going?" Nick asked a little too late.
"He's out in the garden! Why did he go there?" Pinkie Pie shouted. "Oh no, not again. What is it with him?"
"I believe he needs some time to sort out his feelings," Princess Celestia mused.
I wandered through the gardens, admiring the statues and topiary. Tropical flowers and plants of almost every variety and color were neatly organized in rows and columns. Some distance away there was a hedge maze, or at least I guessed that's what it was. I passed by Discord's statue, staring at it for a few moments.
"Twilight, what brings you out here?" came a female voice from behind me.
I turned around to see who it was. "Princess Luna? I thought you'd be sleeping this time of day," I said.
"Twilight, sleep has a tendency to elude me," she mused.
"Princess, I have a confession -- I am not Twilight, even though I'm in her body," I said.
"What do you mean?"
"Twilight's in the Royal Ball Room -- Pinkie Pie decided to throw me a party, but I have never been one for parties," I replied sadly. My ears still lay flat against my head.
"What is your name, if you are not Twilight? Wait, you said you don't like parties?"
"I would have thought your sister would have told you about me, but if she hasn't, my name is Michael, and I have hated parties ever since I was four years old."
"You are in Twilight's body, but you have a male name -- what exactly are you?"
"I am a human who woke up in Twilight's body," I replied in a matter-of-fact manner.
"How did that happen?"
"To be honest, Princess Luna, I have no idea. I only remember making a wish to wake up in the body of my favorite pony, and I guess that wish was granted. I hope to be returned to my human form fairly soon, as I have certain responsibilities --"
"I didn't think such things were possible," Luna mused. "So if you're human, what is your world like?"
"It's an awful place, filled with sadness, greed, violence, hunger, disease, hatred, fear --"
"No wonder you left."
"Well, Princess, it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be -- it's just my nature to exaggerate the bad and marginalize the good -- if I see a glass of water about half-way up, I say the glass is half-empty."
"You are definitely NOT Twilight -- her attitude is much different from yours."
"I know -- I wanted to be her, but I have come to the conclusion that I could never even hope to come close to being her. What a foal I have been. I am so disappointed in myself."
"You are being too hard on yourself, Michael. I'm sure there is something you can do well," she offered.
"I am going to head back to the party. Thank you very much for your company, Princess Luna. I would like to spend more time talking with you in the future. Perhaps in a week's time, maybe?"
"Why a week?"
"With Princess Celestia's permission, I would like to return in a week -- Saturdays and Sundays are days I don't have to work, and I would be thrilled to return," I smiled.
"I will ask my sister on your behalf. I am sure we can come to an amicable arrangement."
I trotted back towards the wall on the other side of the ball room, and noticed a missing statue. I gasped in horror.
The Fashionista's Dilemma
I went back to where Princess Luna and I had been having our little talk a few minutes ago, but she was gone. I teleported into the ball room and looked for Twilight. I was hoping to keep the panic to a minimum. I had to push my way through the crowd of ponies, taking a few minutes to get over to where she was still talking to Nick, Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie. Rainbow was hovering in the vicinity and Fluttershy was fairly close by as well.
"Twilight -- hey, I see you all are pretty close together here. That's good. I have something --" I began.
"Well, well, if it isn't the killjoy," Applejack said with great sarcasm.
"I found the hacksaw, you wanna cut your left ear off now?" Pinkie asked harshly.
"Don't you think you're being a bit hard on him, darling?" Rarity asked.
"Dude, what you did was pretty uncool," Rainbow added.
"Mike, are parties really that bad for you?" Nick asked.
"Worse. But we have a bigger problem now. Discord's statue is missing," I said, bowing my head.
"WHAT?" "That can't be true!" "It's in the garden!" "WHAT?" and various other responses came in a barrage of their voices.
"I was talking to Princess Luna in the garden, and saw Discord's statue missing. When I returned to try to find Luna, she was gone."
Some of the nearby ponies were talking in hushed whispers, but fairly quickly, the bad news spread. Every pony started heading for the exits as this party had very quickly come to an end.
"Thanks for ruining the party, Mike," Pinkie said dejectedly. "Oh, and you're not invited to any more of my parties, either."
"It's just as well," I said sullenly. "So let's ask Princess Celestia for her advice on this one -- I'm sure she's going to want to know."
"I already know about this, Michael. His disappearance troubles me deeply," Princess Celestia stated as she had popped into the ball room.
"So where do we find him?" I asked.
"If you were him, what course of action do you think he'd take?" Princess Celestia asked me.
"I believe he'd probably pop in here, taunt us, and shout something like 'Catch me if you can!" and take off laughing. More likely than not, if Princess Luna is missing, he's probably taken her with him."
"Darling! Please don't say such terrible things!" Rarity pleaded.
"That sounds like something he'd do," Twilight mused. "But he hasn't done that yet."
"Let me at him! I'll teach him to mess with us!" Rainbow boasted.
"Mike, I wonder if I'm going to make it back home now," Nick said. The Rarity he was in furrowed her brow, which made her look rather unattractive.
"Nick, darling, let me fix that make-up so you can look half-way presentable," Rarity offered.
"Rarity, darling, please help me -- I look positively dreadful and I want my beauty supplies!"
"Can we wait until we get home?" Nick asked.
"I have to look my best!" Rarity exclaimed in exasperation.
"You arguin' with yerself?" Applejack asked, somewhat perplexed.
"I'm going back out to the garden, I have a hunch something is amiss here," I said.
"You need some more alone time, killjoy?" Applejack addressed me sarcastically.
"Sarcasm is just another service you offer, ain't it, AJ?" I asked, a bit of anger in my voice. "I think some pony's pulling another prank, and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it right now."
"What makes you say that, Michael?" Celestia asked.
"I wanna test my hunch before we go flying off the handle about Discord's 'disappearance'."
"What do you mean?" Twilight asked.
"I think Princess Luna, being a bit of a prankster herself, would move the statue and retreat to her bedchambers to give the illusion of Discord having escaped. I'll bet she's laughing her head off right about now."
"Michael! Don't make such baseless accusations!" Princess Celestia admonished.
"Princess Celestia, since you're Luna's sister, why not check her bedchambers and see if she's there. I'm going back to the garden to search for the statue." I popped out to the garden again, and checked for awhile. "Gotta be in the maze, I'll bet." I wandered into the maze, and spent about an hour looking for the statue. I finally reached the last of the dead ends, and there it was. "Princess Luna, this is NOT funny!" I shouted to no one. I heard the soft laughter of a female behind me.
"You should have seen the look on your face!" Luna chuckled. "Absolutely priceless! "
"Princess, are you going to take Michael's suggestion?" Twilight asked.
"Very well then, Twilight, I guess I will humor the idea. I shall return momentarily." she teleported into her sister's bedchamber, and found her at the window overlooking the garden, chuckling softly.
"Luna, what is the meaning of this?"
"Tia, I just wanted to have a little fun, and I couldn't pass up the opportunity."
"Luna, you don't joke about Discord. Ever. Even if you wanted to prank Michael, you had me worried as well. I don't mind you having a little fun every once in a while -- I know you deserve it after what you have gone through -- but please don't joke about Discord. Where is his statue?"
"I placed it in the last dead end of the hedge maze," she chuckled. "It's going to take him about an hour to find it!" she laughed.
"All right. But if this happens again ..." Celestia's face darkened to illustrate her displeasure. "I don't think I'd want to be in your hooves."
"Sorry, Tia, you have my promise it won't."
"Michael's hunch proved correct, Twilight, Discord has NOT escaped his prison."
"Huh. Why would Princess Luna pull such a prank?"
"I would suspect she gets bored from time to time, and the prospect of having a few laughs at Michael's expense proved irresistible to her. She has promised me not to pull such a prank again, as I can not allow something as serious as this to happen again. I would hate to have to track him down and banish him again."
Every pony heaved a sigh of relief, including Nick.
"Princess Celestia, is there a way you can separate me from Rarity?" he asked her.
"There are a few ways of solving this problem -- we need to find your human body first."
"I don't know what happened to it -- I woke up in Rarity's body about three days ago, and my girlfriend is getting worried."
"I might be able to create a body for you, but the risks are very high and there are no guarantees that the spell would work correctly."
"Blood magic, Princess?" Twilight blanched. "That's dangerous! "
"There might not be any other choice -- Rarity deserves her body just the same as Nick needs his body back."
"But that would make for two of me in the same universe!" Rarity exclaimed in shock.
"It means we would have to find a universe you're not in, and send you there," Princess Celestia stated.
The Fashionista's Dilemma
Which Universe is the Right One?
"Princess Luna, why did you do this to me?" I asked. "To poke fun at me?"
"I'm sorry, Michael, I couldn't resist. The look on your face was --"
"You know, Twilight would have acted the same way," I said.
"Well, I think she would have been much angrier with me," Luna said and added, "and she probably wouldn't talk to me for quite awhile before she got over her anger."
"She doesn't strike me as the type to have a short fuse," I said. "Anyway, I'm somewhat relieved that this was just a prank -- I would hate to have to track him down and face him. Even looking at his statue gives me the creeps."
"Well, there may yet be an opportunity of that sort for you in your future," she said softly.
"I can only hope I can rise to the challenge," I said. "And meeting him in my human body -- well, without magic, I'd be pretty much useless against him."
"Who says you have to return to your human body?"
"I do, Princess Luna, and frankly, my personal future depends on it."
"Such as?"
"In the human world, I have a job -- without that, I have no house, no transportation, and my life would become difficult indeed. That is why I said I need to return to my human self before Monday morning. I don't know if you've met Nick, but he's trapped in Rarity's body, and unfortunately for him, he's sharing that body with Rarity herself. So technically speaking, there are two Rarities in this universe, along with Nick. I have been trying to formulate a plan to separate them into their respective bodies, but I believe your sister would have a better idea, considering her experience with unusual situations."
"Well, Michael, that's quite interesting. I actually have two minds in my body, but they represent both good and evil."
"Nightmare Moon?"
"Ah, so you know of her. Yes, she resides within me, but I try to keep her under control. Most of the time."
"That must take a great deal of effort -- I suspect she's very strong."
"Indeed she is, Michael, and I sometimes struggle to keep her from asserting herself through me."
"So what about Discord, then?"
"I suspect he may have something to do with your transformation in your world, and if Nick comes from your world, then he too may have been a victim of Discord's desire to create chaos."
"Princess Luna, I would like to thank you for this discussion. I must contact Nick and your sister immediately!"
"Be careful, Michael. I look forward to meeting you again."
"Thank you, Princess. I will see if I can return again," I said, smiling, and popped back into the ball room.
A smaller party had been hastily arranged, as Pinkie Pie had brought out her party cannon and redecorated the ball room. There were still some ponies from earlier, but a much smaller contingent of them. I sought out Nick, but met Rarity instead, not knowing this at the time.
"Nick, I think Discord might be on the loose in OUR world," I said with some concern.
"What? In your world? That's terrible! Michael, darling, I am Rarity. Nick is over there, talking to Rainbow. By the way, what did Princess Luna have to say? Was she sorry for pulling such a terrible prank?"
"Yes, Rarity, she did. She told me the reason Nick and I have been transformed into ponies might be Discord's work, but in my home world, not this one."
"Oh, my. Darling, I hope you do take care -- I would hate to see anything bad happen to you."
"I might need your assistance in my home world, along with the other Elements -- I can't stay in Twilight's body for much longer, as I have some responsibilities --" I began. Nick trotted over.
"Hey, Mike, Princess Celestia says I might have to be put into a created body -- which is something you had said earlier -- must this be done?"
"I was talking to Princess Luna just a few minutes ago -- we might be facing Discord anyway," I said, frowning.
"WHAT??!"
"Did you and Jacquelynn discuss the possible reasons for your transformation into Rarity?"
"Yes, Discord's name was mentioned, but we dismissed it immediately."
"Princess Luna seems to think that he's the one responsible for our present state."
"Well, what about this party?"
"That would be Pinkie Pie pulling a prank on me, and Princess Celestia playing along with it. That, or maybe we're in the wrong alternate universe."
"How do we get to the right one?" A brief silence followed while I mulled a thought or two. "Mike?" he asked, trying to get my attention as I had seemingly zoned out on him.
"You remember Princess Celestia using her teleportation magic on us," I said, "Well, when I traveled to her realm, I used my teleport spell. Twilight's magic is very strong, so I believe if Princess Celestia takes us back to your house, I can teleport us to the correct universe," I said.
"Are you sure that's gonna work? I would hate to think we'd end up in yet another universe, one that's even worse off than this one! "
"It's my hunch that that's the case. But with Discord on the loose in OUR world, we need to stop him. With the Elements here, perhaps we can travel back to our world with them, and track down Discord and banish him from our world."
"Hey, killjoy, Ah thought you were talkin' to Princess Luna?" Applejack said, sarcasm still dripping from her words.
"AJ, the name is Michael. And for your information, I might actually need your help in banishing Discord from MY home world. I shall have a talk with Princess Celestia and see what can be done. And when we're finished, I need to help Nick get his body back -- though you probably already know this."
"What? Discord's in YOUR world? Is that why yer in Twilight's body?"
"And also why Nick's in Rarity's body."
"Oh, okay, Mike. Ah'm sorry fer bein' mean to ya. Ya must'a been worried about yer home, mebbe that's why ya snapped at me."
"You know I hate parties, I'm sure -- and I apologize for my earlier actions, Applejack." I trotted over to the Princess. "Princess Celestia, if I may have a few words with you, please?"
"Certainly, Michael -- what is it?"
"I believe the reason why Nick and I are ponies is that Discord may be on the loose in our home world," I offered.
"If that's the case, then you are most likely going to need our help. There's no telling what damage he can do if left unchecked."
"I would like to help if I could," I offered.
"If he is at large in your world, what do you think he plans on doing?"
"That's a very good question. My world is chaotic enough as it is without his help. I imagine far worse, say for example, a world wide war involving several very powerful countries."
The Fashionista's Dilemma
Back Home Again ... but for how long?
"So, Princess, can you track him? Does he have a particular magic signature?" I asked. This was starting to get confusing.
"I am not sure -- he's able to mask his movements, so I would tend to doubt if even I could locate him, especially in an unfamiliar place like your world."
"I believe he might be the only one able to use magic in my world, at least until Nick and I return," I said. 'Maybe you could trace magic use if it's that scarce..." I suggested.
"Sounds plausible. Elements, are we ready to travel to the human world?"
A cacophony of responses came from them, Nick included, but most were in the affirmative.
"I hope we can get this over with -- I really want my body back!" Nick said in exasperation.
"Maybe by banishing Discord, that will happen," Princess Celestia said.
"Hey, Mikey, if we pull this off, maybe you might be able to come to another party!" Pinkie Pie said.
"I thought you told me --"
"Don't worry about that, Mikey! I live for parties! Just be nice!"
"I will do my best," I said.
"We shall be off now," Princess Celestia announced. She group-teleported us back to Earth, landing us in the front yard of my house.
"Okay, Mike, where are we now?" Nick asked. He saw my transformed car. "Wow! That's cool! Can I get one of those?"
"Nick, we're in the front yard of my house in Illinois. I used my magic as Twilight Sparkle to enchant the car -- I have yet to drive it, so I am not exactly sure what it's capable of doing."
Every pony stared at the car -- it had Twilight's cutie mark painted on the rear quarter panels, and stitched into the leather seat backs -- too late I had realized that my desire for leather interior was blasphemy to the ponies. Twilight was so deeply intrigued by it, she stated aloud she wished she had ink and parchment to take notes.
"The leather is synthetic, not derived from animal skin," I said. "Seriously."
"Michael, I sense Discord's presence -- however, he is nowhere near here," Celestia announced. "If you were him, where do you think he'd place his lair?"
"Hmm. I would probably choose a naturally chaotic city, say for example, New York City, and then put my lair in a place where I would have a nice overview of the entire city. There are a number of skyscrapers in that city, and some of them have penthouse apartments overlooking the city. Other than that, I have no ideas."
"Don't you think he'd try to track US down and try to kidnap US?" Nick asked.
"There is that possibility, but with us here --"
A sound similar to a leather jacket being zipped or unzipped was heard. "Catch me if you can!" came a gravelly voice, and then his laughter sounded before the zipper sound was heard again.
"How did you know he was going to do that?" Twilight asked me with exasperation.
"Amazing how you got that right, darling," Rarity mused.
"I can trace his movements," Celestia announced, smiling slightly. "He hasn't gone far."
"At first you said he was nowhere near, then he pops up and then leaves. This is getting really weird," Nick said.
"Elements at the ready, he is getting set to return," Celestia said in a serious tone.
I wondered why he would do what he did, but I was able to sense something getting ready to happen about five feet behind me. I teleported to the street in front of my house as Discord popped back in, five feet behind where I had been standing.
"How did you? Wait, what? TWO of YOU? What's going on here?" he asked.
"Elements, NOW!" Celestia commanded. Something very interesting happened -- the rainbow-hued magic vortex spun out of control as there were two Rarities involved. Instead of banishing Discord, it made him disappear.
"What just happened?" Twilight asked in disbelief. The other Elements echoed similar sentiments.
"I do not sense Discord's presence, at least, not in this world," Celestia mused. "The harmonic magic sent him into another universe, I believe."
"I am still in Rarity's body," Nick said dejectedly.
"This is the WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!!" Nick's Rarity cried in utter shock.
"You can say that again, darling!" the real Rarity said in agreement.
"Of course. I should have predicted something like this would happen. Nick, I am very sorry, but we may have to resort to blood magic for you. Other than that, I have no easy alternatives." The Princess seemed crestfallen.
"An idea has struck me," I said. "If you look at my vehicle here, you might notice it seems to have some resemblance to me, seeing as I'm still in Twilight's body. I used a lot of magic trying to fix this car, and I wonder if, since I don't have Twilight's mind inside me, that I might have inadvertently transferred her spirit into my car."
"Don't be ridiculous! That's impossible!" Nick said.
Some of the people driving in their cars would slow down to gawk at every pony standing in the front yard, but would continue on.
"I will go get my wife, and have her start the car -- I want to test my hypothesis," I said.
"I am curious to see how this works," Celestia mused. The others gathered around my car as I knocked on the front door of my house. Xaviera answered the door.
"Xaviera, can you get your mama for me, and have her come out here with the car keys?" I asked her.
"I was wondering what kept you," she said. She looked out the front door to see Princess Celestia examining the car, along with every pony else, just gawking at it, marveling at its appearance. "What are THEY doing here?"
"We were trying to banish Discord," I said nonchalantly. "I need the car keys, but I need Brenda to sit in the driver's seat."
"Why? Can I do it?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure you can, so go ahead and get the car keys, and come outside please."
"Where are they?"
"My pants should be under our bed, and the key should be in the right front pocket."
She went back inside, and returned shortly with the key fob. She came out to the car and unlocked it.
"Um, excuse me, uh, what's your name?" Twilight asked. "May I examine this vehicle more closely?"
"Why are there two of you, and two of the small white one?" Xaviera asked.
"Xaviera, this is Twilight Sparkle, the small white one is named Rarity, with Nick in the other Rarity's body. Princess Celestia, this is Xaviera, my youngest step-daughter. She will be operating the car for the time being. Okay, Xaviera, sit in the driver's seat and turn the car on -- start it if you need to."
"Geez, Mike, all these ponies! What's going on?"
"We have some important business, we can discuss these matters later. Right now, I need you to turn the car on."
Xaviera puts the key in the ignition and starts the car.
"Acquiring driver data. Driver data acquired. Good afternoon, Xaviera Walker!" came a cheery sounding voice from the speakers.
"That's MY voice!" Twilight said excitedly.
"Acquiring voice data. Voice data confirmed. Good afternoon, Twilight Sparkle!" the car's voice sounded excited.
"Xaviera, ask the car for it's name," I said.
"Acquiring voice data. Voice data confirmed. 99.7% accuracy -- Twilight Sparkle?"
"Michael Walker," I responded. "I am in Twilight's body."
"Michael, what is this? Why does this car have Twilight's voice?" Celestia asked.
"Acquiring voice data. Voice data confirmed. Good afternoon, Princess Celestia! It is truly an honor!"
The Princess was quite surprised by this, but smiled in response. "Thank you, uh, Twilight."
"Oh! Oh! Does the car recognize my voice? Does it? Oh, please let it call me by my name!"
"Acquiring voice data. Voice data confirmed. Good afternoon, Pinkie Pie!"
"Mike, what is this car capable of doing?" Nick asked.
"Acquiring voice data. Voice data confirmed. 99.4% accuracy. Rarity?"
"No, darling, I'm Rarity,"
"Voice data confirmed. Good afternoon, Rarity!"
"Mike, that is sooo cool!" Rainbow exclaimed.
"If you think this is cool, there's other stuff the car can do, I put quite a lot of magic into it," I said.
"Car, what is your name?" Xaviera asked.
"You may call me TS," came the cheery voice again.
"Okay, that figures. The letter designation on the trunk lid says as much," I chuckled. "Hey, TS, can you detect Discord's magic signature?"
"No, Twilight. He is not present. He has disappeared from this world," TS said flatly.
"Princess Celestia, I don't know if that's a good sign or a bad one," I said. "Nick, can you come here and sit in the passenger's seat?"
"Michael, I can only assume that since he's no longer in this world that he might very well have been banished to another universe -- and if that's the case, then I would have to surmise that the outcome is a positive one."
Nick comes over and stares at the front passenger door. "I can't open it," he said with some disappointment.
"You can wield magic too, all it takes is a little telekinesis," I said, using it to open the front passenger door. He hopped into the car, sitting as best he could in the passenger seat.
"Analyzing passenger data. Passenger data unconfirmed. Please state your name," came TS's flat voice.
"Nick."
"Voice data confirmed. 99.4% accuracy. Rarity. Passenger data confirmed. Good afternoon, Rarity!"
"This is Nick! I'm in Rarity's body!"
"I'm in here too, darling!"
"Can you separate us?"
"My analysis indicates there is only one body -- if there are two personae in one body, the answer is no."
"What am I going to do?" Nick was exasperated. "I don't wanna be stuck like this forever!"
"How do you think I feel, Nick?" his Rarity asked.
"Hey, Nick, do you think Jacquelynn might have an idea or two?" I asked.
"She'll be happy to see me back, but not so happy to see me still in Rarity's body," he said flatly.
"Didn't you say Rarity's her favorite pony?"
"Well, yeah, but ... there's still two of us in here, and I think she wants me more than Rarity," he said thoughtfully.
"She thought you were pretty cute in my body, darling," Rarity mused. "But it hurt when she shook me by my withers."
"She has a habit of doing that, Rarity, sorry about that."
"Xaviera, turn the car off. TS can't help Nick, either."
"Okay, Mike. Should I put the key back in your pants pocket?"
"Yeah, that would be cool. Thanks for trying, though. Okay, Nick, hop on out, I'll need to lock it up."
"Okay, Mike. Looks like I'll have to have Princess Celestia create a body for me. That just sucks."
"Michael, I want to know everything about this car of yours! What can it do?" Twilight asked excitedly.
"I guess it can't do everything," I said with some disappointment in my voice.
Nick trotted over to Princess Celestia. "Princess, how long will it take to create a body for me?"
"Nick, I wish I had better news for you. To create this body for you will take about five years, and as I had said before, the necessary magicks are so complex and intricate that even the slightest error can lead to disaster. Are you sure you want me to do this? Does being in Rarity's body disturb you so much you feel compelled to have me do this?"
"Five years?! Five years?! I can't wait that long!"
The Fashionista's Dilemma
Another Universe, Another Nightmare
"Nick, I need to check another hunch," I said, trying to be as upbeat as possible.
"I am getting tired of your experiments, Mike," he said dejectedly.
"Princess Celestia, I want to thank you and the Elements for helping out as much as you have. I will see if I can find another way to help Nick in this matter. I would like to speak with you again sometime, but I have another hypothesis I would like to test."
"Very well then, Michael, we shall return to our realm. Good luck, Michael, I hope you find a solution to his problem. If not, you may contact me to make the necessary preparations for Nick."
"Thank you once again, Princess." I watched her teleport herself and the Elements back to Equestria, leaving Nick and me standing by my car.
"Mike, what are you going to do now?" Xaviera asked.
"I'm going to teleport Nick and myself to Equestria -- this should be a different universe we're going to, and I think Princess Celestia in that universe will be able to help Nick."
"Mike, this is starting to make me worried -- maybe I can stand to be Rarity for five years, I think."
"Speak for yourself, darling, the thought of being with you for five years is absolutely horrible! "
"I am trying my best, Rarity, I will see what I can do. Nick, hop on my back, it's time to go."
Nick reluctantly hopped onto my back, and I underestimated the weight. "Oof! I guess I'm not quite as strong as I thought," I groaned.
"Michael, darling, are you saying I'm fat?" Rarity asked almost threateningly.
"No, Rarity, just that I'm not used to having a pony on my back. Let's go," I said and teleported us to Ponyville, at the front door of the big tree that doubled as Twilight's house and the library. It was dark out, and I was wondering what was going on.
"Where is every pony?" I asked.
"This place looks deserted," Nick said.
The front door of Twilight's house was off it's hinges, but everything was so dark it was hard to see. I cast an illumination spell to get a better look at things. I went into the library to see what was going on. Books lay on the floor in piles, but it looked as though they hadn't been touched in awhile. Ripped pages lay scattered on the floor, some book bindings torn in half. It looked as though some of the books had been burned as a heat source.
"Hello? Twilight? You here?" I asked, fairly loudly. I got no response.
"Mike, this place is giving me the creeps," Nick said.
"Gotta check upstairs, see if Spike's still here," I said. The chill air of the night was starting to affect us. Nick was starting to shiver a little, and I was feeling uncomfortably cold. "Maybe there might be something we can put on to keep ourselves a little warmer," I offered.
"We could go to my boutique and see if I have something there," Rarity stated. "And maybe my little Opal is still there, too!"
"We'll head there next," I said. "Nick, you coming?"
"Uh, stairs give me a little trouble," he said flatly. "I think I'll wait down here for you."
"Okay, I'll be back down shortly. Spike? You here? Spike?" Again, no answer. Twilight's bed was bare, no cover or sheets, no pillow either. Even Spike's basket was empty. "What's been happening here?" I asked no one. I went back downstairs, my little ball of light leading the way. "Spike's missing as well," I said dejectedly.
"Well, let's head through town, see if we can find anybody," Nick said.
"Any pony , Nick? Oh, sorry. I couldn't find anything for us to put on, either. Let's hurry, it doesn't seem very safe here."
We trotted quickly through town towards Rarity's boutique. The streets were deserted and the air eerily silent -- the only sound was that of the wind sweeping through dead trees and open windows with curtains wafting gently through them. The odd door creaking on a single hinge could be heard as well. After fifteen minutes of mostly silent trotting, we made it to Sugarcube Corner. The place was dark like all the rest of the houses we passed. I entered through the open doorway and checked around. Any foodstuffs had long since been pilfered or spoiled. I went upstairs to check for Pinkie Pie. I checked the rooms and found a couple of small pony skeletons, one a small pegasus, the other a small unicorn. I opened another door and found what looked like Pinkie Pie. Her body had wasted away to skin and bones, her coat nearly as white as Rarity's. Her eyes were wide open, her pupils looking like small dots, her hair straight and flat. She looked like she was in catatonic shock. I waved a hoof up and down in front of her face to see if her eyes would follow the movement.
"Pinkie Pie? Hello? Earth to Pinkie Pie, you in there?" I asked, half-jokingly. I put an ear to her chest to see if she was even breathing or if her heart might still be beating. Her mouth was open, but no sound came out. It looked like she had been frightened to death, as there were no vital signs. She had held out longer than any of the others. I made my way back downstairs to find Nick snooping around as he had lit up an illumination spell.
"Hey, Nick, did Rarity teach you how to do that?" I asked.
"Yeah, she's really scared, Mike. She wants to get to the boutique as soon as possible."
"Pinkie's upstairs, but she's not responsive -- no vital signs -- her body's gone totally white with fear."
"Michael, darling, please try to revive her! For my sake, please!"
"Okay, Rarity, I'll go back up there and see what I can do. Without any vital signs, I fear it might be too late for her." I returned to the room she was in to find her still in the position she was in when I had left. There had been no change in her condition, but I trotted up to her body. My horn glowed as I concentrated my healing magic through it and slowly allowed the magic to affect her body. Some color started to return, and I could hear her ragged breathing and a faint heart-beat. I continued to heal her, and in fairly short order, she had been revived.
"Twiley! Oh, Twiley! It was terrible! You gotta save the others!" she cried, hugging me tightly.
"I'm not Twilight, I'm Michael," I said.
"Never heard of you before," she said. "But since you healed me, I can trust you. My Pinkie Sense tells me you're a good pony! Who else is here with you?"
"Nick slash Rarity is downstairs," I said.
"What? Who's Nick?"
"He's in Rarity's body."
"Twiley, what's going on?"
"I was going to ask you the same thing, Pinkie -- where is every pony? Why does Ponyville look like a ghost town?"
"Twiley! Nightmare Moon killed everything! It's been night time ever since the Summer Sun Festival! We tried to stop her, but we failed! She killed -- wait a minute -- she killed YOU! How did you make it back?"
"That explains quite a bit. Pinkie Pie, I came from another universe, and Rarity here as well." I told her about the two us having woken up as ponies as well as Nick's situation.
"Rarity! You mean there's somepony else in there with you?"
"Pinkie, darling, it's terrible! I want to be free of him!" Rarity pleaded. "Princess Celestia says I might be stuck with him for another five years! I can't think of anything worse than that!"
"I can, Rarity. I fear we might be facing Nightmare Moon without the rest of the Elements. I have been working on a secret-weapon type spell, but I am hoping not to use it -- I haven't tested it out yet, and I'm not sure if it'll work."
"Is that Twilight talking or you, Mike?" Nick asked.
"Nick! It's just me, Mike! How many times do I have to tell you?"
"I keep forgetting your situation is not the same as mine," he said as Rarity face-hoofed in his mind. "Ouch, stop that, Rarity, it hurts!" Rarity face-hoofed again for good measure.
"Hey, Pinkie, got any food here?" I asked. My stomach was starting to complain, as I had forgotten to eat at the party.
"Twiley, the food's been gone for a few months. I can't even pull things out of my pocket dimension anymore, I've run out."
"Okay, we'll have to keep checking. Nick, we're heading to Carousel Boutique now."
We trotted over to the boutique, and much the same greeted us. Rarity's supplies had been recklessly strewn about the shop, and Rarity called out for Opal, who seemed to be missing. There was no trace of Sweetie Belle either. Nick allowed Rarity to go upstairs to her room, again casting an illumination spell. Rarity was mortified at the sorry state of her room.
"Twilight, darling, my room has been ruined! "
"Rarity, this is an alternate universe. We can try to straighten things out, or do you want to try another universe?"
"How are you able to do that?" Nick asked.
"What's all this about alternate universes?" Pinkie asked. "I still don't understand it, even after Twiley tried to explain it to me."
"Maybe some time I can explain it to you. Right now, I think we need to head to AJ's place."
"She's not gonna be there, Twiley," Pinkie said.
"Well, how about Fluttershy?"
"I dunno, Twiley. She flew off to Cloudsdale to stay with Rainbow, but I dunno if there's any pony there, since I've been hiding for the past few months."
"You two wanna come with me so I can teleport us to Cloudsdale?" I asked.
"Twiley! You know how far away that is from here?"
"Yeah, it's about 22 miles or so," I said confidently.
"But, can you teleport all three of us there?" Pinkie looked at me with a puzzled look.
"Let's stand in a circle and join hooves. We can go that way," I stated. I then teleported us there. This town was also deserted, and once again we were met with the eerie silence of no living thing save for the wind whistling through open windows and doors.
"Pinkie, Rarity, are either of you familiar enough with this place to know where Rainbow might stay?"
"You're not going to get the chance to find out, Twilight Sparkle!" came a female voice from seemingly nowhere. A purplish mist swirled around and formed itself into a large black alicorn bedecked with lunar symbols.
"Nightmare Moon," I said, almost nonchalantly.
"I don't know where you came from, Twilight, but just as easily as I killed you before, I will kill you again!"
The Fashionista's Dilemma
"Now where have I heard that before?" I asked, trying to distract her.
"What, are you trying to be brave?" she asked, a bemused expression on her face.
"Nick, Pinkie, stand back. Here goes everything!" I shouted. I prepared my secret spell, my horn glowing purple then white, the ball of magic growing larger and larger.
"What? What are you trying to do?" Nightmare asked. Her expression changed as I did my spell.
"SHIMMER!!" I shouted. My body seemed to take on a shimmering appearance, going all wavy. Shimmering balls and rays of light appeared in the sky. Shimmering high-pitched metallic tones vaguely sounding like very high pitched tubular bells started sounding. As my body shimmered, two copies of me stepped to my left, and two more to my right.
"What is this?" Nightmare shouted. She fired a blast of magic energy at my shimmering body. The blast passed through harmlessly. "Wait, what?" she exclaimed, and flew to attack me. She passed through my body as it continued to shimmer.
"SHIMMER!!" I shouted, and four more copies of me emerged from my body. I did this three more times, until there were 20 copies of me in the vicinity.
"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" she shouted.
"Okay, girls, separate her and subdue the Nightmare!" I shouted. Six of me surrounded Nightmare. Each cast magic at her, and she was able to send them scattering. She was proving to be a hoof-full. All 20 of me surrounded her now, and I joined in for good measure. We pounded her mercilessly with our magic, quickly subduing her. Eight of me used special magic I was unaware of to separate Nightmare from Princess Luna. Four of me stomped on Nightmare's horn, breaking it off.
"NO! NOT MY HORN!" she shrieked.
"Twilight, what's going on here?" Luna asked. "Where did all of you come from?"
"Okay, girls, can you reach Celestia?" I asked. "Luna, we're here to help."
"I can see that, Twilight," she said, a wry smile coming to her face.
"Mike, we have found Princess Celestia. She is in the sun, and we are attempting to return her here," one of my copies stated flatly.
"What do you plan on doing with Nightmare?" I asked Luna.
"I haven't decided yet," she said. "If you can bring my sister back, she can deal with her."
"Twiley, that's the cutest thing I've ever seen!" Pinkie exclaimed excitedly.
"Michael, darling, you simply must teach me that spell! Imagine how much I'll be able to get done with extras of myself!"
"I will tell you once we can get Princess Celestia returned."
"Hey, Mike, can your extra copies of you separate me from Rarity?" Nick asked. That was the question I was looking for.
"Hey, girls, come here for a minute. Not all of you, I need some of you to keep Nightmare subdued until Princess Celestia gets back. I need some of you to separate the male human in Rarity's body from herself."
"Gotcha, Mike," one of my copies said. Five of me used their magic, and separated Nick from Rarity.
"Wow, thanks! I was really starting to worry about that! Wait, I don't have any clothes! It's freakin' COLD out here!"
"Wait, what?" Princess Luna asked, quite surprised. Nightmare saw this display and gasped.
"What -- what -- is that!" Pinkie said. She had never seen a human before, at least, not in this universe.
"Pinkie, meet Nick. Nick is a human, and considering how cold it is, he needs something to keep warm, else he might succumb to hypothermia."
"Mike, we are returning Princess Celestia -- she should be here momentarily. The sun will be restored when she arrives in about 3 ... 2 ... 1 ..."
Indeed, the sun had returned to the sky. With the broad daylight illuminating everything, the sorry state of how badly everything had suffered under constant night-time was starkly illustrated.
"You are to be commended for returning me without the use of the Elements, Twilight Sparkle -- wait, how many of you are there?"
"Princess Celestia, I have called forth 20 copies of myself from alternate universes to assist me in subduing Nightmare Moon, separating Princess Luna from her grasp, and separating my friend Nick from his imprisonment inside Rarity's body. My human name is Michael Walker, and I woke up as Twilight Sparkle earlier today."
"You are a human?" she asked incredulously.
"You see Nick here?" I pointed a hoof in his direction. He shivered from the cold, but the sun's warmth was starting to drive away the chill. "He is a human, and not too much different from my human appearance."
"What spell did you cast to summon all these extra copies of yourself here?"
"I call it 'Shimmer'."
"How does it work?"
"Do you understand the concept of alternate universes existing on parallel planes, and that there are an infinite number of these alternate universes? I created a rift in the electro-magnetic spectrum, which opened a portal to all these universes, then summoned as many of myself as needed to do the job I requested. In this case, I figured 20 was what I needed."
"How do you send them back?"
"I cast 'unshimmer'. But before I do that, I need to be returned to my human form, and returned to my home in my world."
"Mike, if you do that, you won't be able to cast unshimmer!" Nick said.
"Oh, yeah, forgot about that. I have to be in Twilight's body to cast unshimmer, but that leaves another conundrum."
"My shop is in ruins!" Rarity exclaimed with anguish. "I don't even know where my little sister is, either!"
"Princess Celestia, what do you intend to do with Nightmare?" I asked. I turned to look in her direction as she was still under a submission hold by four of my copies.
"To the moon with her," she said, waving a hoof, banishing her almost effortlessly.
"NOOOO!" she wailed as she was banished.
"Would you care to tell me about your human world? And how it was that you were transformed into ponies?"
"Discord had something to do with that, Princess, and this is where it gets troublesome. I enlisted the assistance of another Princess Celestia and the Elements to banish Discord from our world, but the extra copy of Rarity interfered with the Harmonic Magic, causing him to be expelled from our world, to parts unknown. I don't know where he may have ended up."
"This is deeply troubling news, Twilight," she said. I chuckled. "This is no laughing matter!"
"Begging your pardon, Princess, but my human name is Michael -- it just seems amusing ... oh forget it. Call me whatever you wish, Your Majesty."
"If what you say is true, then there may be two copies of Discord in a single universe," Celestia pondered.
"The other Princess said that the outcome was generally a positive one, however, I believe she may have been considering the fact that in Equestria in that universe, Discord was still a statue, and even if he had not been properly banished from our world, at least he's gone, hopefully not to return."
"Michael, since Nightmare Moon has been sent back to the moon, perhaps you may cast your 'unshimmer' spell now."
"Certainly, your Majesty. UNSHIMMER!" I shouted, my horn glowing white again, my body shimmering again, and the extra copies of myself jumping into my shimmering body, disappearing as they did so. I shouted "UNSHIMMER!" a few more times, recalling the last of my duplicates.
"Michael, darling, that was simply awesome! " Rarity exclaimed.
"Rarity, do you wish to remain in this universe? I believe that you, Pinkie, and the two Princesses are the only ponies left in this world."
"I don't know, darling -- if we are the only ponies -- how will we get things done?"
"Rarity, I fear this world may be a total loss, and that is a great tragedy."
"Well, you're still a pony, so technically ..." Nick began.
"I am a human inside a pony's body, Nick, but I intend to be transformed back into a human. I still have a job to go back to and can't exactly do it whilst in Twilight's body."
"But you can do telekinesis and teleportation, along with all kinds of other magic!"
"True that -- and to be honest, I have enjoyed being Twilight -- it's been lots of fun, except for that party --"
"What party?" Pinkie exclaimed excitedly. "You were at one of my parties? Really? How was it?"
I heaved a very heavy sigh. "Pinkie, I must admit that I have never been one for parties. I was miserable."
"But -- but -- " I put a hoof to her muzzle.
"Quiet, you. I know where you're going with this line of questioning, and I'd rather not break your heart again. Let's just say that it's going to take some time before I am ready to start attending parties, and since we're the only ones here..."
"We could throw a party right here!" Pinkie cried.
"Well, maybe not right here," I said, looking around at the deserted city of Cloudsdale. The silence was deafening.
"Let's return to the castle," Princess Celestia offered. With that, we were teleported to the throne room. We were shocked to see all the damage that had been done to the castle. Shards of broken glass that were once the gorgeous stained glass windows littered the room. Torn banners and tapestries, defaced and defiled -- even the thrones the Princesses would sit upon were damaged beyond repair. I checked Celestia's expression to register a great deal of shock.
"Michael, I'm afraid this may be a total loss. Did you travel through Ponyville?"
"Yes, Princess. It looked the same as Cloudsdale -- no ponies alive -- Pinkie was barely alive when I found her, and I think she was the last one standing."
Princess Celestia shook her head in sadness. "All my little ponies -- dead -- because of Nightmare Moon's ego!" she sobbed openly, the tears flowing down her cheeks. I approached her, attempting to comfort her.
"Your Majesty, they may be dead in this universe, but there are other universes out there where they are very much alive, along with you and your sister. I don't know what advice to give you in regard to trying to rebuild this world's pony population, but if it's a total loss, the only suggestion I have is to try to go to another universe. Other than that, I don't know."
"Is it safe for us in your world?" Celestia asked innocently.
"My world is populated by seven billion humans -- some of whom are greedy, selfish, violent -- I fear you would not be safe in my world, Princess. There are some who might know of you, and wish to do you harm. One other thing -- if you were to venture to another universe, I don't know how you'd react to seeing a double of yourself, or for your sister to meet a double of herself, not to mention the extra Pinkie Pie and Rarity."
"Mike, can I get back to my world, already? I'm feeling really self-conscious here without any clothes!"
"I could make you some clothes, Nick, darling," Rarity offered.
"I saw your shop, Rarity! There's nothing useful left in there!"
"Oh, Nick, dear, must you remind me? I forgot you were in there as well!"
"Your Majesty, the other Princess entertained the idea of creating a body for Nick and transferring his psyche into it," I stated. I watched as Celestia's face dropped.
"My counterpart was ... contemplating ... THAT?" she shuddered.
"I didn't know how else to separate Nick from Rarity. I was quite surprised to see my duplicates pull that off as easily as they did. That solves THAT problem, at least..."
"Michael, I am going to have to take some time to process all this information I have received. I request you spend the night here in the castle before I allow you to return to your world."
The Fashionista's Dilemma
"Your Majesty, you just made it back -- spend the night here? After seeing what has happened here, are there any ponies left in the castle to assist us?" I asked, exasperation creeping into my voice. I was ready to go home, damn it! And Nick was in no less of a hurry to get back home as well!
"This is true -- however, I can not allow you to leave just yet. There is more information I need to know from you before I can let you leave."
"Your Majesty, please. At least allow Nick to return to his home in Austin, Texas. His girlfriend must be worried sick!"
"And what about you?"
"To be honest, Princess, I don't know how much time has passed since I left my world. I believe I might have another day I can remain in Twilight's body, but I have to be at work at 8:00 on Monday morning, and I must be in my human body and in my work uniform at my workplace by that time. I do not wish to lose my job, so I'm sure you might understand my desire to leave as soon as possible."
"Very well then, Michael, I will permit you to take Nick back to his home, provided you return within half an hour."
"I don't wanna go home naked! " Nick exclaimed with exasperation.
"Your Majesty," I began.
"Michael, you may drop the formality, given the circumstances. You may refer to me as Princess Celestia, if you wish."
"Begging your pardon, Princess Celestia, but I would like to return to Ponyville and see if I can salvage some clothing for Nick at Rarity's boutique. Rarity, I would like you to accompany us as well. I would also like to check back on the library to see if some books can be salvaged as well."
"Michael, I would like to accompany you as well, as it has been too long since I was last in Ponyville," Celestia stated.
"My horn is starting to ache from all the teleporting I have done today, not to mention casting shimmer a few times. That actually took quite a bit out of me, but I figured it was necessary. My copies did most of the work and I will need to find out how they were able to do the separation magic. That's something I didn't know I could do."
"Imagine how much trouble you could have saved me if you had done that for me when we first met!" Nick said, almost angrily.
"Now, come on, Nick, you know you enjoyed that big party in the ball room," I chided.
"Yeah, and you cried like a little beeyotch because you're scared of parties!" he retorted.
"Thanks for the compliment, it means a lot coming from you," I said sarcastically.
Princess Luna laughed out loud and Celestia and Rarity just smiled. Pinkie was looking a little exasperated.
"Very well then, shall we be off?" Celestia asked.
"Tia, are we all visiting Ponyville? I would like to see what has happened as well," said Luna.
"Yes, Luna, we're all going. I can only hope some pony's still alive there."
Princess Celestia enveloped all of us in her golden aura and we arrived in front of the library. I was shocked to see just how many ponies actually had survived. I trotted inside the library, checking the shelves. Quite a few books were able to be salvaged, and I telekinetically placed them on the shelves, not bothering to organize them. "There'll be plenty of time for reorganization later," I thought. Suddenly, I was attacked by a baby dragon.
"Twilight! Twilight! I feared the worst!" Spike cried, hugging me tightly. His claws dug into my neck, scratching me up a little.
"Spike, could you relax the claws a little? It hurts a bit," I said.
"Oh, oh, sorry, Twilight," he chuckled. "I was so worried about you! What happened?"
"Oh, Spike, I wish I had better news for you. Nightmare Moon killed your Twilight."
"That's NONSENSE!!" he screamed. "You're standing right in front of me!"
"Princess Celestia? Could you come in here and tell Spike about what has happened? Pinkie? Can you come too?"
They both entered, and in short order, Nick, Rarity, and Princess Luna entered as well. Nick was still feeling quite self-conscious, and covered his modesty with both hands, and looked very uncomfortable.
"Nick, we'll head over to Carousel Boutique in a minute," I said to him.
"What -- who?" Spike almost choked on the words upon seeing a human for the first time.
"Spike, this is what a human looks like. And if I were not inside Twilight's body, I would look fairly similar to him, except I would look older, and I weigh about 50 pounds or more than him."
"Wait -- you're saying you're not really Twilight?"
"Sorry Spike, no I'm not. Nightmare Moon killed her."
"Michael, do you think you could have broken the news to him a little bit better than that?" Celestia asked, glowering at me.
Spike cried and ran to Rarity's embrace. "There, there, Spikey-Wikey, it's gonna be all right. I'll protect you and keep you company at my place -- after I get it cleaned up, of course!"
"Rarity, can I please get some clothes? Being naked just sucks," Nick grumbled.
"I'll have to see what's salvageable," she said with some sadness in her voice. Spike continued to cry, holding Rarity's neck tightly. "Spike, your claws! Please!"
"I want Twilight back!" he cried.
"Princess Celestia, I think there might be a way he can have Twilight back," I offered.
"Are you talking about casting shimmer again?"
"No, I heard legend of a mirror pool in the Everfree," I said.
"That's far too dangerous, Michael. There's no telling if you'd be able to make a duplicate of yourself, or die trying. I do not want to take the risk of losing Twilight just because Spike wants her back."
"Pinkie Pie knows of this legend," I said.
"Well ... I do know of the legend ... but I'm afraid to try it out, too! I have seen so many bad things happen in the past year or so, I don't think I could go to that pool."
"Why can't you stay here, since you're in Twilight's body?" Spike asked, drying his tears.
"Well, I have given it some thought...and after having seen so many ponies running around Ponyville now -- where did they all come from? We checked out the town earlier, and there seemed to be no pony alive," I said, almost dumbfounded by their appearance.
"Did you check the basements of the houses you searched?" Spike asked. "We were hiding until we thought it would be safe." My face dropped as he said this. I had completely forgotten about the basements.
"Well, no Spike, no I didn't. It hadn't occurred to me to do so."
"Can't you stay?"
"I'd like to, but I have obligations in my home world," I said. "I have to be returned to my human body so I can meet those obligations."
"If you don't mind," Nick said impatiently tapping his right foot on the wood floor. Pinkie imitated his movement with her right hind leg, and started giggling uncontrollably. Princess Luna shifted on her hooves, deep in thought.
"Okay, off to the boutique then," I said cheerfully.
"I'm coming with you!" Spike shouted.
"Of course! You think I'd forget about my number one assistant?" I smiled.
"Twilight! I knew it was you!" he cried gleefully, hugging me tightly again.
"No, it's just Mike -- look, I will try to find a way to bring Twilight back, okay? If not, maybe I can make a double of myself at the mirror pool, and have him either stay here or go back to my home -- either way, he would still be me, but in any case, I would at the very least be willing to try to be Twilight for you, okay?"
"Well, I guess that would be okay. So you're Mike, huh?"
"Ee-yup!"
"Okay, guess I better remember that -- but you know, I might still call you Twi because you're in her body," he said.
"No problem, Spike, call me what you wish -- as long as it's not late for dinner!" I chuckled.
At the mention of food, Pinkie Pie seemed to collapse, her body appeared to have given out from lack of nourishment.
"Is there something we can do? Where is the hospital? Is it too late for her?" I asked too quickly.
"I appreciate your concern for Pinkie Pie, Michael, and I can assure you she will be okay. I will take her to the hospital. You and Rarity can go to the boutique to get some clothes for Nick. I will be waiting in the hospital," Princess Celestia stated.
"I shall be accompanying my sister, and you are free to visit when you are finished."
With that, both Princesses took Pinkie Pie to the hospital. That left Rarity, Nick, Spike and me to go to Carousel Boutique. I teleported us over there, and rested for a minute to let my magic refill.
"Rarity, have you ever used magic to the point where you're getting a serious horn-ache?"
"Michael, darling, you've been pushing yourself too hard. Please let me see if I can find something for you."
We went into her shop and the daylight showed just how bad it was. Tears started coming down Rarity's cheeks as she surveyed the damage. "My beautiful shop! Nooo! Who could have done such a terrible thing!" she cried.
"Looks like a bomb went off in here," I muttered. Scraps of fabric littered the floor, any decorations hanging from the ceiling were scattered about, and the mannequins -- well, the less said about them the better. We could hear other ponies outside chattering to each other, trying to repair damages as best they could. We headed upstairs to check out the living quarters.
"All my sheets are gone!" Rarity cried. "All that's left are the mattresses!"
"Rarity, any fabrics up here? Anything useful?" I asked. She rifled through her closets, finding a single bolt of cloth, apparently yellow cotton. She brought it out to show us.
"This is all that's left which I consider to be useful," she said as the stress started to affect her.
"Let me see what I can find," I said. There were various scraps of different fabrics, odds and ends, different colors, needles, threads of various types. "How's your sewing machine looking?"
"Michael, it looks like it survived all right, so I might be able to put something together."
"Rarity, how long is this going to take?" Nick asked impatiently.
"I'll just have to take some measurements," she smiled.
"Rarity, I don't think we have time for that," I stated. "I'll see if I can magic something together for him, we're kind of in a hurry here."
"But Michael, darling! Your horn!"
"If you have something to drink, that might help. I am feeling rather hungry, so if there's something to eat, I'd appreciate that as well."
"Let's go to the kitchen and see if I can find something," Rarity offered.
We went into the kitchen and noticed empty cupboards and drawers. There was no food to be found, and only enough tea for four cups.
"I'll put some tea on then," she said sullenly. The wait for the water to boil seemed interminable. The tea seemed to have a certain restorative property to it, and I enjoyed it. Nick sipped from his cup and tried to cover his modesty with his other hand.
"I hope you two hurry, this is getting stupid," he said almost angrily.
"Have some patience, Nick, we're trying to help -- I hope you understand the situation here."
Spike looked like he was trying to help clean up the place, picking up scraps of fabric and putting them in piles according to their color. He looked absolutely adorable as he did this. "Just trying to help," he said, smiling weakly.
"Spike, darling, thank you so much!" Rarity smiled.
"Mike, don't tell me you're actually thinking of staying here?" Nick asked in bewilderment.
"Somehow or other, I feel compelled to stay, to try to help out in some way. I can still take you back home, or ask Princess Celestia to do so if you want."
"What about those obligations you keep mentioning?"
"I have been pondering that ever since I cast the shimmer spell and frankly, I think I might be better off here anyway."
"What about your wife?" Nick asked, exasperation coloring the words. Spike and Rarity turned to look at me when he asked that question.
"I've been thinking about her too. I still need some more time to think on that issue, but I'm still leaning towards staying."
"Michael, darling! You didn't tell me you were married!"
"Well, truth to tell, it hasn't exactly been a very happy marriage."
"When are they ever?" Rarity chided.
"Yeah, well, I have a tendency to equate my wife with the Changeling Queen," I snarked.
"Michael! Don't say such things!"
"You don't know my wife, Rarity. Try walking five miles in my hooves and you will come to understand what I mean."
"I'll make sure I tell her you said that, Mike," Nick said almost gleefully.
"You want some clothes, or do you want to go back home naked right now?" I asked sternly.
"Just kidding! Jeez, can't you take a joke?"
"Whatever," I said dismissively. "Okay, let's see what we've got. Thanks for making color piles, Spike, I think I see something useful in all this." I started with the blue pile to make a pair of pants for him. There were enough blue scraps to craft a make-shift pair of jeans for him. The white pile I used for making some underwear. The red and orange piles got used up to make a shirt for him. "Okay, Nick, try those on for size."
"Michael, darling, that is simply dreadful! " Rarity said, almost shocked by my haphazard design.
"Given the circumstances, Rarity, it's better than nothing. Nick, you okay with that?"
"Not bad, not bad. This'll work okay," he said.
"Function over form, Rarity. Sorry about that, but it'll have to do for now."
"What do you know about fashion?" she asked indignantly. I chuckled a bit loudly at her remark. "You'll NEVER be a fashion designer!" she said angrily.
"Who said I wanted to be one," I stated flatly. "I'm Twilight Sparkle, Element of Magic, not a specialist in haute couture. "
"Wait, I thought you said you weren't Twilight!" Spike exclaimed. He wore a look of confusion at my remarks.
"Michael's speaking figuratively, Spike, so don't worry about him, darling!" she said, glaring daggers at me.
"Now, now, no need to be upset. I'm going to take Nick home now. If Princess Celestia asks, I'll be back shortly. I wonder why we're snapping at each other like this," I mused. I readied a teleport, but nothing happened.
"Michael! Your horn! It's GONE!!" Rarity said in shock.
"Huh. That's not possible," I said, then checked my forehead with my right fore-hoof. Sure enough, my horn had vanished.
The Fashionista's Dilemma
"Spike, can you send a letter to Princess Celestia?" I asked, panic starting to creep into my voice.
"Right on it, Twi. Shoot."
"Dear Princess Celestia, I need your assistance with a most urgent matter. For some reason or other, my horn has disappeared, probably from over-use, or something else. Either way, I request an audience with you at your earliest convenience. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."
"I thought you said you weren't her!" Spike said with exasperation.
"There might be more of her in me than I thought," I offered softly. "I need a hug right now."
"How am I supposed to get home now?" Nick asked.
"Princess Celestia can take you home or send you there, your choice, I think..."
A flash of light and a golden POP ushered in Princess Celestia's hasty appearance.
"Twi -- Michael, I didn't think this was possible." Celestia had a look of concern on her face.
"Tell me about it. Is it really possible to lose a horn from over-use?"
"I would have to check on that -- this is highly unusual."
"Would it be possible for Discord to do something like this?"
"That's highly plausible, Michael, I believe that -- if it is Discord's work, then we're in great danger."
"You could use the shimmer spell to dispatch him," I grinned. This suggestion elicited laughter from the Princess.
"Brilliant suggestion, Michael. I had almost forgotten about that spell. How many of my duplicates do you think I would need?"
"Six of you should be more than enough to dispatch him, I think. Personally, I would call about 20 just to be on the safe side." The Princess laughed even harder at this suggestion.
"Nothing like overkill, eh, Michael?"
"The only danger is that if you call too many copies of yourself, you might inadvertently bring forward an evil version of yourself -- that's why I limited myself to 20 copies. One my copies went into hyper-flame mode, which shocked me."
"Maybe I should limit it to six then," Celestia mused.
As this discussion continued, something weird started happening.
"What is going on here?" I asked. A pair of human feet had appeared at the ends of my rear hooves.
"What -- are those your feet?" Nick asked with surprise.
A pair of human hands appeared at the ends of my fore-hooves. I had to stand on my hind legs to keep from putting too much pressure on the hands. My hind legs lengthened quite a bit, and got substantially stockier, more closely resembling human legs. My neck shortened, and my head enlarged itself to more closely resemble a human head. My tail disappeared and my mane shrank down to my normal human hair length, which was very short indeed.
"No, no, no, not NOW!" I said with great disappointment. "I can't have this happen NOW!"
Spike was crying. "No, Twilight! NO! Why?"
Rarity stood in stunned silence. Nick was laughing his head off at my transformation.
"Michael, what is going on?" Princess Celestia asked with a hint of surprise.
"My time ran out, I think. I guess Discord has nothing to do with this, I'm afraid. I still need to be Twilight! Just a little bit longer! Please!"
"Methinks thou doth enjoy that too much," Celestia said, grinning.
"But there was so much more to do!" I pleaded.
"Michael, darling, all this time you've been in Twilight's body, this is what you really look like?" Rarity asked. There was a scratching at a door and as Rarity opened it, her white cat jumped out and ran to her side. "Opal! I've been worried sick!"
"Meow?" I offered.
"Stop trying to talk to her, Michael," Rarity began. Opal came over to me quizzically, and I knelt to pet her. I scratched behind her ears and she seemed to enjoy this. I let her rub against my right leg, and she began purring. I scratched the top of her head, and again behind her ears. She purred a bit louder.
"Michael, darling, I didn't know you had such a way with cats!"
"I like cats," I said, smiling. Opal lay on her back, offering her belly. "No, Opal, I'm not gonna rub your belly. Don't wanna get clawed," I chuckled.
"What are we going to do about Twilight?" Spike asked, still very worried.
"Princess Celestia, I offer myself as an option to replace Twilight, if you think that might help," I suggested optimistically.
"I understand your desire to remain in Twilight's body, Michael, however you did mention obligations, and as a human, I feel your presence here might be a distraction. There is much work to do, and your proper place is back in your home world. I apologize for causing you such disappointment, but --"
"Would you at least be willing to give me a chance?" I asked, perhaps sounding a little too desperate to stay.
"I am afraid not, Michael. I know you did your best to be Twilight, but your intellect is not on her level. You are capable of quite a bit of magic while in her body, but you can not approach her mastery level. I will try to find a way of acquiring a replacement for her, however this will take some time. Even so, I appreciate what you have done for me."
"What about the shimmer spell? It was multiple copies of me who freed you from your imprisonment in the sun -- it was my copies who separated Princess Luna from Nightmare Moon -- it was my copies who separated Nick from Rarity -- does that not count for anything?"
"Granted, Twilight was not familiar with your shimmer spell -- and your knowledge of that spell impresses me -- a feat not easily accomplished -- however, as I stated before, your place is not among us here. That said, I would be happy to have you come back and visit us some time, but not until we have recovered from all the damage Nightmare Moon has caused."
"How is Pinkie Pie holding up?" I asked.
"She will recover, but it will take some time for that recovery."
"Okay, can we go home now? This is taking too long, and I'm hungry!" Nick complained.
"I'm hungry too, Nick. I still would like some clothes before I go back home as well."
"Please, allow me," Celestia said, using her magic to fashion some clothes from all the remaining scraps of fabric in Rarity's boutique. Her design was a multi-colored pair of pants and a shirt, mostly in diamond shaped patches.
"Princess, I apologize for the condition of my shop," Rarity stated.
"This is not your fault, Rarity, there is no need to apologize. Michael, Nick, I shall escort you to your respective homes."
The jaunt seemed effortless for Princess Celestia. We appeared at Nick's front door. He knocked, and Jacquelynn answered.
"Nick! You're back! And you've been changed back into a human!" she exclaimed happily.
"Mike could have helped me a bit earlier, but I had a good time. Oh, Mike's been changed back into a human as well."
"Well, I'm happy you're back, and even more so that you're no longer in Rarity's body -- although, you did look really cute like that. Mike, you got changed back as well?"
"For me, my time ran out. I still wanted to be Twilight, but I guess this is for the best. I'm gonna miss being her."
"Well, I'm sure your wife will be happy you're back," she said.
"Yeah, I guess," I said glumly.
"How long you been married?" Nick asked.
"Twenty very long years," I stated flatly.
"Well, good luck, Mike. I'll keep in touch on facebook," he said.
"Okay, Princess Celestia, I'm ready to go home."
She teleported me to my home. I knocked on the front door and Brenda answered.
"Where have you been?" she asked, almost angrily. "I went to bed and next thing I know, you've disappeared! Now you're back, and you're in your human body? When did that happen?"
"It happened while I was in Ponyville," I said.
"What, you went back? What about what Princess Celestia said?"
"I am right here, Brenda. What did I say?" she asked, smiling.
"You told him not to go back, or the consequences would be severe," Brenda stated.
"He rescued me from my imprisonment in the sun -- he has my thanks for that. He rescued my sister from her imprisonment in her evil counterpart -- he also managed to separate Nick from his imprisonment in Rarity's body -- your husband is quite a hero, and deserves your highest respect. I am seriously considering having him return to Ponyville to assist in clean-up efforts, but I felt it necessary to explain to you his exploits, lest you doubt his veracity."
"He ... did ... all ... THAT?" Brenda was incredulous. "But ... HOW?"
"I did all that while I was in Twilight Sparkle's body, Brenda. Her magic abilities are very remarkable, and I came up with a few new spells of my own, her magic proving strong enough to cast those spells."
"Well, I need him to help pay the bills," Brenda said. "I am impressed he was able to do so much, but I was worried when I found him gone." She turned to me. "Mike, next time you run off like that, please leave me a note, or tell me something. And these clothes! Where did you get them?"
"I will treasure this clothing, Princess. Thanks for putting it together for me. Brenda, the scraps of cloth that make up these clothes came from Rarity's boutique -- Ponyville suffered heavily in the absence of Princess Celestia, and these scraps were about all that was left for the sake of making clothes. Cleaning up looks like an Herculean task, but I'm sure the remaining ponies will be able to take care of it. Princess Celestia, I am going to miss you and all the others. Please give them my warmest regards, and let them know I will continue to hold them in my heart and in my thoughts. I wish it didn't have to end like this, though."
"Michael, you have my deepest thanks for all you have done. Under different circumstances, I would be happy to have you stay with us, however --"
"What? You wanted to stay there?" Brenda asked me angrily. "I KNEW you wanted to!" She raised her fist to hit me.
"Brenda, stop." Princess Celestia admonished. She enveloped Brenda's fist in her golden aura, immobilizing it.
"Let me go! I'll teach him to leave me!"
"Michael, is she always like this?"
"More often than not, yes, I'm afraid."
"Perhaps my assessment of you was incorrect. I would like to extend an offer to you to return to Ponyville to assist in our clean-up efforts. I will be happy to transform you back into Twilight Sparkle."
"NOOO! Don't you dare! Mike! Please! Don't do this! Please!" Brenda begged. Tears started to well up in her eyes.
"Princess Celestia, I hate these moral dilemmas," I stated with some exasperation.
"Take all the time you want, Michael. Should you ever decide you wish to return, just let me know."
"You have my word, Princess Celestia. Thanks again for everything!" I said, smiling.
"So that means you're staying, Mike?"
"Yes. For now anyway. Good bye, Princess. I hope to see you again some time."
"Good bye, Michael. Take care, and good luck. Good bye, Brenda." Princess Celestia then disappeared in a flash of light and a golden POP.
"How bad was it?" Brenda asked.
"I thought every pony had died when I first got there," I said. "But when we returned after rescuing the Princesses, it turned out there were quite a few ponies who had survived. Pinkie Pie is still in the hospital though. Things are really bad there right now."
"But I thought it looked good when I was there," Brenda said with some surprise.
"In my attempt to help Nick, I teleported us to another universe, one where Nightmare Moon had defeated the Elements of Harmony. Things were in really bad shape. It's going to take quite a long time before it gets back to normal there."
"So what now?"
"I'm hungry, and very tired. I'm also disappointed that I only got to spend one day in Twilight's body."
FIN
