I awoke to the sunlight gently kissing my eyelids, bathing me in a radiant light that permeated my body, sending the most wonderful warmth I'd felt in quite a while throughout my veins. I sought listlessly for a thing that was not near, and reluctantly, I braved to pry my eyelids open against the bright, radiant whiteness.
My eyes confirmed what my hooves had reported: the quiet, graceful bundle of pink and yellow that had lay curled in my grasp the previous night, slowly breathing and sending feelings of security and joy throughout me, was no longer there. Instead, only a vast ocean of sheets and quilts graced my vision, for but a mere 6 feet, and then fell down to the ground.
Listlessly, I hauled myself upwards, hearing all too well the creaking of the bed frame beneath me, and feeling all too well the slight difficulty of rising that age had wreaked upon me. I may have been fairly young, at the age of 43, but the stiffness in my joints did not lack wear, either. I had not, as the term so went, 'aged gracefully'. Visions of youth and dreams of tiny, trivial worries danced in my head like colorful specks, and were then gone, replaced by the bleak gray world of adulthood, and its unvariative stress.
I was shaken from my reminiscent pondering by a sudden contact, one that drew me back into a gentle, daisy-scented embrace that I relaxed into easily. A lazy grin spread across my face, and I instinctually reached up, pulling the canary yellow hooves that had wrapped around me closer. I didn't speak, simply content to remain in her scent forever.
Her whisper floated into my ear like the most beautiful melody, enhanced by the tranquility of the seemingly perfect morning and the fact that she was a shy marvel of nature, a wonder of wonders. "Good morning, Twilight..." Fluttershy crooned, squeezing me lightly as though to accompany her speech. "Do you know what today is...?"
I smiled a bit wider, pulling her closer as the grayness receded from my world, if only for a brief eternity. It was one of the few moments I'd learned to cherish, especially since nothing was a constant, and the joy I felt one moment could easily be crushed by the world in the next.
"Are you sure about this?"
"I'm as sure as one plus one equals two. But stand back, just in case."
My little bubble built of daydreams soon burst as I felt a frantic shaking assault my being, inflicted by the very same pony that had only recently cuddling me in an affectionate embrace. Her cries echoed, as though miles away, as I struggled to regain my focus.
"Twilight! You're...shaking! Are you okay?"
I managed to bring my gaze to myself, and saw that it was not false. Where as before I lay content in her warm grasp, I now sat bolt upright, muscles trembling fiercely, accompanied by a ragged, start-stop breathing spelt of a raw terror that I knew little of. Despite myself, however, I managed to nod, and regain control over my nervous systems. The shaking soon quelled itself.
I felt a light kiss grace the tip of my forehead, sending little waves of comfort through my body where there had been darkness, and gently driving out my inner demons with a sweet serenade. "Don't worry me like that, okay?" said the voice of angels themselves.
I nodded once more.
Presently, the bed shifted beneath me, and my love stepped gracefully to the floor, making her way to the door. Most ponies would notice nothing about such an everyday activity, but being in my quiet shroud, I noticed everything about the world. I noticed how easily she made her journey, how clearly her movements accentuated her already divine body, making clear her perfections and all but erasing the imperfections she almost didn't have. I noticed the luscious pink color of her mane that flowed gracefully down her shoulders, more graceful than the most skilled dancer, and more beautiful than the winter's first sunset.
And even her words were, when spoken, the most delighting thing I could hear nowadays. It didn't matter what she said, as long as she did. Her call of, 'I'll be ready when you are!' barely struck my subconscious directly. Instead, it subverted into a river of memories, bringing me back to a time when we were strangers, and I didn't appreciate, or even take notice of, her in the least.
"My name's Twilight Sparkle. What's yours?"
"...eep."
As I thought, I could not suppress yet another grin from making its way onto my face, fueled by strong feelings of nostalgia. It had been her shyness, and her propensity to care-taking that had introduced me to her and made us friends; it had been her hidden beauty and innocent, uncorrupt nature that had finally driven me to the moment I had even gone so far as to have dreamed of.
"Fluttershy? Can we talk?"
"Sure, Twilight. What is it?"
I was vaguely aware of myself dreamily laying back upon the softness of her bed, resting my chin upon my hooves as a filly lost in her own fantasies might do herself. A slight burning adorned my cheeks now, borne not of embarrassment, but the flushing, overwhelming joy of memories. And if it were possible, my smile grew bigger, and I fell victim to a deeper happiness for the first time in 3 years.
The memory of how I'd simply leaned in to kiss her on that moment still rang fresh in my mind.
Her shyness had vanished slowly over the years, but that single moment had brought it back in a rush, reaffirming all instincts to bolt and run from the strange and unknown, and in her indecision, it asserted itself, turning her cheeks a shade of scarlet as deep as I affirmed my own to be, and then fifty shades deeper.
And then in that instant she had responded, taking a breath before launching everything she had back against me, surprising me with a passion I'd never dreamed of, nor expected from her in my wildest hopes and dreams of the moment. Next thing I knew, my eyelids slowly drifted shut, and I lost myself in a quiet, passionate bliss, that was punctuated only by the curious chirping of her animal friends, and the gentle sounds of breathing echoed between me and her.
Needless to say, there was no talking done that afternoon.
I sighed, only feeling my elation increase as I did so. Yes, I'd made a very important discovery that night: speaking did not necessarily have to use such a frivolous pretense as words, and neither did it cover everything. We had both spent the entirety of a sunset together, trading one eternal kiss borne of a hidden passion that, if attempted to be explained aloud, and provided that a pony knew the words to say it...it might have taken a century to cover simply half of it. And yet every meeting and parting of lips, every lovely, fur-ruffling breath, every wanting hoof-stroke and every tantalizing, tender tongue-dance spoke more than a millennium's worth of words.
And yet, even after that afternoon, the story could still remain untold. And I smiled as I realized, that was what love was. It was a never-ending story told for two, and it was the story that could be more important than your own could be alone. Only three words came even close to telling the tale.
And then the world came crashing down around me. On the height of ebulliency, on the proverbial cliff of true joy and realization of one's deepest, most wanted desires...
...I flung myself into the covers, covered my head with now trembling hooves, and began sobbing wordless, primal sobs that bore the deepest pain I could not express any other way. The sheets became soaked with the product of my sorrow, and the sudden clatter of hooves as the most wonderful pegasus mare to have entered my life entered my room were all but ignored in my sudden haze of sorrow. Presently, I heard the questions come from seemingly all sides, and the frantic, concerned poking and prodding of a caretaker's touch. I recoiled instinctively, shooing the figure away as my reeling mind sought for a function it no longer had.
The voice of angels persisted in its prodding, drawing me up into a tight hug for all the yellow pony could give, shoving forth a bucket of comfort that I only lapped at, and instantly refused. All I was aware of was a sudden, alarming feeling of limpness, and then the echoes of anguish that flew around the room as I buried my face into her perfect shoulder, thoroughly soaking it with my salty tears as my sorrow screamed up my throat, and my heart beat abnormally in wild, broken, savage throws. My own hooves wrapped around Fluttershy as she had hers around me, and I drew her as close as I could ever get her, hoping for a comfort that would never come.
My mouth moved helplessly as I cried for myself, and my lips formed the structure of the three words I wished so terribly to say. But there was nothing in the air beyond her gentle crooning attempting to calm me, and my own release of a pain that had stabbed my heart and soul. I found myself robbed of the speech that I sought so much, that I used to consider useless, and found it gone. And even as I pulled myself back from the most wonderful thing I'd ever loved, and stared at the deep , glimmering, cyan pools that were her eyes, my heart was ripped out, and stepped upon.
My lips moved silently, tracing the phrase I would never say again. For I could not speak a word, and neither could I whisper. The grim reminder sprung itself once more as I framed the words, and I realized I would never be able to tell her how I felt again, and hadn't been able to for a tenth-decade. I died inside as my mouth chiseled a phrase I knew and had heard many times, but in a language I was robbed of the ability to speak.
'I love you.'
I had to admit...a rustic town such as the one I'd lived in half of my life had more memories than I could think of.
It had taken approximately one fourth of an hour before my tears had dried up from my earlier encounter with the desperate sadness that overtook me fairly rarely nowadays, and about a half hour before I - with the help of the gentle soul that was Fluttershy - managed to calm down enough to momentarily forget myself, and to finally step outside.
As I'd first noticed on my awakening, the sun shone with a brightness that seemed to make the world itself happy. It sent out a striking, brilliant warmth that easily pierced the fluffy clouds, and warmed everything from the grass to the largest mountain. Nature sung quietly around me as I trekked slowly on the worn dirt path that wound away from the cottage I now lived in, and I noticed the gentle chirps more than ever as my hoofsteps kicked up light clouds of dust.
It was so mind boggling to think that in a day so long past, I'd walked this very trail and later turned to stone by a fearsome cockatrice, or that in a year so long ago, I'd stopped for a quiet cup of tea. And yet, the simplicity and age of the memories blended perfectly, setting me into a slight, seemingly floating state as I recalled it all. What had once been an 'ordinary, but not, evening' was now the subject of my, for once, actually ordinary evening. Well, when I thought about it, it was morning, but the concept remained the same.
I felt a gentle nudge against my right side, and I tore my gaze from the lush greenery with a large effort. I was met by a gentle smile that warmed my heart even more, and I almost stopped walking in my sudden realization that, in the light, my marefriend could well have been mistaken for an angel.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?"
Fluttershy spoke, but the sounds and beauty of nature were not disturbed in the least. She was in tune with it, and knew just the proper volume and tone to keep the beauty so obviously evident intact. I noticed, for yet another time, that she seemed intertwined with nature to the point that she exceeded its quiet attractiveness, if she did not at the least match it perfectly.
I only had to nod to confirm what was there, and what was truly wonderful.
And for a while, we tread on in silence. The only sounds in the air were the quiet mutterings of the outdoors, and the gentle scuffing of our steps, tandem in their execution. I was faintly aware of a slight breeze, and then a feathery cocoon that soon spread across my back in the form of a wing. I blushed slightly at the unexpected contact, but I still trotted onwards.
It was the silence that made it all the more breathtaking when we crested one final hill, and the town slowly faded into view.
As if by a silent agreement, I turned to her, and her to me. Just as synchronously, a smile broke out on both of our faces as we remembered. I felt myself in the shoes of a young, inexperienced, but ready-to-go mare for just a few seconds, as I had once been myself, and then the feeling was gone as the yellow pegasus' words brought me back to myself. "Are you ready?"
I simply raised a hoof, tracing an invisible checkmark in a sign that she knew about as well as I did.
It said, '101% certain'.
Our time spent trekking through Ponyville was both a short time, and a long time. We passed by veritable throngs of ponies, each engaged deeply in conversation, as if it were just yet another day of their lives. I knew, of course, that it was just that - but for me, it felt like the most important day of my life, and the most precedent, yet meaningless occurrence that could happen. It felt...
Well, like this was my life now. Memories.
Much to my surprise, I was recognized by groups of ponies all over the place - I witnessed those ponies cease conversation to turn to me, wave, and then smile like everything was normal. It was all I could do to smile back, puzzled - until I recalled that I had been absent from the town for an exact year now. My throat began to burn at memory of exactly why, but I managed to choke back my sorrow and trudge onwards. The quiet beauty of nature was gone, save for the canary pegasus next to me, overcome by the constant chatter of a busy town. Lush greenery was replaced by low-set cobblestone and brick built buildings, with thatched roofs of straw. It was just as quaint and homely as I remembered.
And I still loved the place.
"Twilight! Twiiiiiliiiiight!"
I frowned, picking absently at my ears. It had sounded like somepony had called my name, but from an almost impossible distance. I turned to Fluttershy, my face writ in what I hoped was confusion, but she simply stared back. "What is it?"
"Twiiiliight!"
I furrowed my brow in concentration. The voice had rang out yet again, but...it was closer. My eyes scanned the crowds around me with the expertise of an editor, but I saw not one pony looking in my direction.
"TWILIGHT!"
I had only a second to raise my gaze in the voice's direction - which I was now sure was straight up - before I was faintly aware of a great breeze, and then a strong force that quickly shunted me backwards, nearly crushing me at the same time. I frantically struggled for about two seconds, short of breath, and managed a wordless croak of fear before I felt the familiarity of two hooves wrapped around me, albeit tighter than normal. So, at the very least, I was not to die an early death. I hoped.
Much to my gratitude, Fluttershy came to my rescue. I was vaguely aware of her crying out, and the pressure soon lifted from my chest, whereupon I immediately dropped my head, heaving in an instinctual reaction to regain my breath to alleviate the burning in my chest. I felt a gentle patting on my back as I did so, and ten seconds later, I managed to raise my head in an attempt to compose myself.
I was met by an apologetic, but still brightly smiling, burnt orange face. The purple, unkempt mane framed an oddly familiar pair of bright purple eyes, and the pegasine structure seemed so oddly familiar. I felt like I knew the young mare who was in front of me, but who was she...
"Sorry, Twilight." she said, shuffling her hooves absently. "Didn't realize you were so fragile. Dash takes those hug-bombs really easily."
As she spoke, bells went off in my head, chiming with a ferocity that suddenly reminded me that I did know this mare. The purple and orange color scheme, the rough and tumble attitude, the propensity for speed, and when I looked close enough, the cutie mark with two hoofprints - it was none other than Scootaloo in front of me, a grown mare that I hadn't seen since she left a while ago, though I still didn't know why.
Despite my lack of breath, a grin still broke out on my face, and had I been able to cry her name in joy, I would have. Instead, I settled for a hug in return, though not quite as tough as the one she had given me. I noted silently that she had definitely followed her idol's legacy, and grown to be, from the feel of it, a great athlete indeed - her hard, lean muscling was an easy indication.
We held the embrace for a few seconds, and then she stepped back, babbling excitedly. "Oh my gosh, where have you been, Twilight? I haven't seen you in about, like, a few decades or something! I got my cutie mark, and hey, is that Fluttershy? It's just been so long, and..."
Scootaloo paused for a brief moment, seemingly overwhelmed by her own excitement. She dragged a hoof across her forehead, drew in a breath and released it, before smiling more warmly and continuing at a much more understandable pace. "Never mind all of that. Seriously, what's been going on?"
My mouth opened instinctually, and I made to speak, but the words I expected to come out, didn't. I was met by a great silence, marked by the slowly fading grin of the orange pegasus across from me, and in an effort to save it, I made another attempt that came to nothing. It was only when I made for a third attempt, and that a fierce blush began to play onto my features, that I was saved by the grace that was Fluttershy. She stepped easily between us, approximating both a sympathetic smile to me and a cautionary, yet friendly one to Scootaloo.
"I'm, um...sorry," she said, gesturing to me in a way that made me want to hang my head and hide from the world. "She can't, exactly...um...respond."
I felt an all too familiar feeling of dread overcome me as the once-a-filly looked to her, to me, to her, and back to me again. The curiosity was writ so largely on her face, I knew what she was going to ask before she did. "...why?"
"Why?"
"Because the parasprites need to be dealt with once and for all. Now stand back, Fluttershy. This won't be easy."
I blinked as the scene echoed through my head once more. I knew what had happened, but why was my brain throwing up reminders today? I hadn't recalled any memories jutting in uninvited until today...it was almost as if my subconscious were trying to say something...
It was Fluttershy who spoke though, gently laying a hoof around my shoulders in a motion that subtracted at least some shame from my now inflated self-consciousness, and addressing Scootaloo in the manner only a pony like her could do. "I'm afraid she...doesn't want to talk about it. Am...am I right?" She addressed the last part to me suddenly.
It went through my head to shake my head 'no', but in light of the day, thoroughly battered by my suddenly assertive emotions, I managed a weak nod.
And then it came over the orange pegasus' gaze. The slow look of pity that I'd so long dreaded, yet managed to avoid in my troubled times. The one that treated me as in an invalid, of a poor little bird with a broken wing. And suddenly, I lost all pretense of rationality and cordiality. I forgot that I'd not seen the once-a-filly in the longest possible time, I'd forgot to ask what her cutie mark, and I forgot that, in a way, she could be my friend. My emotions had torn off their leash, and they were going to have their way.
Presently I lunged forth under a step that was not mine, coming within mere millimeters of her own brilliant purple eyes, and staring her down as fiercely as my watery gaze could muster. And for a single moment, the world was held in animated silence as I saw the surprise slowly overtake the pity in her eyes.
And as it retreated, so went what little dignity I felt I had left.
I tore my gaze from hers and spun in the exact opposite direction in one fluid movement. I heard the shuffling of hooves behind me, and slowly, the burn of a crowd staring at me was all too evident. The vicinity had fallen completely silent as the world held its breath again.
Scootaloo tried for one last word. "Twilight..."
Perhaps under strain from the small crowd that had gathered partly to watch the ensuing events, and partly to wonder where I had been, I perhaps made the stupidest decision I'd ever made.
I turned around, a tear sliding down my cheek and hitting the ground in the single second before my horn glowed with the most brilliant light it ever had. Ponies averted their eyes all around, but yet she remained the only one completely unfazed by a veritable supernova of magical energy.
The light encased her fully, giving her the entire situation in but a mere second, and faded just as quickly, whereupon I turned and ran as fast as I could, using the leverage that my blinding energy had created to sprint straight past her, not looking back once as the tears now flowed freely.
Fluttershy followed, but Scootaloo did not.
I found solace in a quiet, off-to-the side alley approximately halfway across town. My heart had carried me there with a pounding ferocity that, even in my indignant sadness, I managed to be amazed at. Presently I sank against the cool brick wall, panting slightly. My legs ached, my lungs burned as they screamed for air, my brain was screaming at me thrice as loud as it did when something was out of place...yet my heart was the winner of the pain contest as it sat quietly in the metaphorical corner, weeping as it was violated for the second time in a single day.
Only the quiet, melodic voice of an oh-so-familiar pegasus was enough to rouse my consciousness enough to peek between my hooves that covered my face from any further shame. "Twilight..."
Even through a tiny slit of a gap, the concern was all too evident on her face, which inwardly bit at me. The only thing I disliked more than being pitied, was making her worried about me. Not simply because worry befell pity, but because any unhappiness with her made me feel the same. "Twilight..." she repeated, gently nudging at my hooves, trying to unveil my face. "What's going on with you? You were doing so well..."
I snorted, turning away from her and her prodding. It was an instinctual reaction, I knew, because my brain said she couldn't hurt me...but my heart didn't want to take the chance. "Twilight..." she repeated one last time.
I remained where I was, chest heaving gently as my forehead leaned against the bricks with a surprising lack of feeling. I didn't feel any contact with the wall, I didn't feel my hooves pressed against the ground for dear life, and I didn't feel the virtual river of tears slowly cascading from my eyes. I knew that all of those things were there, but yet...I didn't feel them. I was just...numb.
Whether for better or worse, Fluttershy seemed to notice. In an act of incredible, endearing empathy, she simply wrapped her hooves around me in a gentle, warming embrace, buried her face into the crook of my neck, and didn't say another word.
It was this simple act of comfort that opened something inside of me, setting forth the shaking of my shoulders and the unrivaled flow of tears once more. I sobbed for the second time in the day, letting forth quiet, strangled, inarticulate cries in a meager effort to express my feelings. I clung tightly to the yellow pegasus yet again, embracing her as tight as a lost filly might embrace her mother when she found her. And for a moment, I questioned myself.
Here I was, running from my life and hiding from my potential, oh-so-long-lost friends. But why? What could I possibly gain from doing it? What was I actually running from? Was it really the pity, or something so much deeper? Was I scared of myself here?
Or maybe...I was running from my memories.
End of Act I.
