Chapter 2: A Night to Remember

Chapter Two: A Night to Remember

“Why is the wasteland so fun?”

200 years later, Manehatten...

A small gust blew across the streets of downtown Manehatten, so nice, so peaceful...well maybe when I’m not busy blasting raider pony heads off! Sweet Celestia the bastards are persistent! I swooped down, doing a barrel roll mid-flight, all while dodging bullets and grenades. I landed on top of a building, some barber shop I thi- oh why the hell do I care! I got a good view of the chaos below. Raider ponies were attacking the caravan I was travelling to New Appleoosa with, and now I began reloading microfusion cells back into my shotgun’s drums. I love my gun! So elegantly designed by...ok back to the battle Skyline! I flew down entering S.A.T.S, looking around for a leader of some kind. Well that was pointless, since raiders are...well....raiders! There never is a head honcho, and even if there was, I’m guessing he would be as crazy as the others.

“Hmmm, lets see here....head....head...ohh a flamethrower gas tank! Interesting...”

I exited S.A.T.S, letting off a spray of energy shells which exploded a raider who was....fucking eating Dandy Lion’s head! I got distracted, and was smacked in the face by a thrown baseball bat, hitting the ground hard.

“Gah! Shit!! Who the heck throws a baseball bat?!”, I yelled as three raiders headed my way, one of them with a....flamethrower.Just. My. Luck.

The first one jumped wildly at me with a hatchet, and I deflected it with my right metal wing, causing a large “CLANK” and sparks that spewed in the raiders face. I forced my wing up, causing the hatchet to sky rocket into the air, and the raider to be defenceless. He looked almost happy when I blew his brains out with my shotgun.

“Terst muh flermes yer littar shiet!!” screamed a raider, who I could barely understand. Probably because she was chewing on a raider’s head in her mouth.

Flames burst from her flamethrower, and I quickly broke left with only minor degree burns. She not-so-gracefully turned the flamethrower’s tube towards my direction, burning both merchants and raiders alike. I flew up with the smell of burned tail, which just happened to be mine. I ignored it, and loaded up S.A.T.S again.

“Bingo!”, I had spotted the raider with the flamethrower, her gas tanks exposed to me.

I fired my shotgun, and it hit home.

BOOM!!!

A small, fiery explosion occurred around the flamethrower raider, causing her and a few other raiders to catch fire. I think what disappointed me was that they were laughing the whole time.

She ran around on fire, the last raider still burning alive, when suddenly a familiar hatchet fell from the sky and landed on her skull, slicing her tiny brain in two.

I smiled at the irony.

“Just. My. Luck!”

*** *** ***

The caravan(what was left of it)finally arrived at New Appleloosa. Man I was tired! I really needed some Sparkle Cola Quantum right now, with a side of more ammunition. We all unloaded our trading goods, mine being some scrap electronics, a few grenades, and a ton of old gun parts I found in the ruins of Arbu. I headed in with the others when Ramrod, our caravan leader, stopped me.

“Skyline, I-”

“Ramrod, just call me Sky, ok? It makes me feel like we’re really good friends and stuff.”, I said sarcastically. He was always way too serious, so I liked messing with him. Ya gotta have some fun in the wasteland!

“This is serious Skyline, we lost a lot of good merchandise back in Manehatten. Too much, to the point I have to deduct everypony’s pay by 100 caps. Unless of course we get a huge profit here. I need you to get as much caps as you can today trading, or go find something that’s worth a ton. Can I count on you?”

I rolled my eyes, I mean why should I care? I can support myself, I just hang with these guys because I get to explore a ton. I’ve been to Hoofington for Celestia’s sake!

“Yeah, yeah, you can count on me.” I said as I wiggled my forehoof in his face.

He just stared at me with his “don’t fuck up” look on his face. Of course he always had that look whenever he talked to me.

I headed on over to “Absolutely Everything”, the local general store in New Appleloosa. When I walked in I was greeted with a smile from Ditzy Doo, and a “hello!” on her chalkboard. She was probably the nicest pony left in the wasteland, and the only pegasus, along with me, I had seen that wasn’t in the Pegasus Enclave.

“Hey Ditzy, I got a lot to sell to ya.”

We bartered for a long time, and I must say I’m pretty good at bartering, but she usually won on the prices. She’s a ghoul for Celestia’s sake! It’s not really fair when you’re bartering with somepony who has been around for more than 200 years!!!

“Thanks Ditzy! I’ll see ya when I come back from Friendship City.” I said as I began to walk out of the store. Suddenly Ditzy waved her forehoof to stop me and get my attention.

“Huh, what is it? Did I forget something? Do you need something?”

She then went under her counter to retrieve something, and came back up with a book. It had a grey cover and what I assumed to be a black pony skull. I then squinted and read aloud,
“The Wasteland Survival Guide.”

“ Sorry Ditzy, but I don’t think I need a book to help me survive the wasteland.”

Then she frowned. Ahh! I couldn’t stand to see her frown! Wow am I an asshole.

“Alright, alright! I’ll take it.”

Her face brightened up, and she made what seemed to be a silent squee of joy.

“Oh, uh...how much is it?”

She scribbled something on her chalkboard, then turned it to face me.

It’s free!

“ Wow, thanks Ditzy! I’ll see you later!” Then I walked out of the store, and headed towards...well wherever drinks were served!

*** *** ***

“You know what the greatest thing given to us by those pre-war ponies is? Sparkle Cola Quantum! Its like Sparkle Cola....but with twice the spark! Or sparkle. Whatever, its just really awesome! Like if I had to range it on a percentage scale, it would be like.....20% better than...other...stuff...” I said as I gulped down my fourth Quantum.

The ponies sitting with me at the table just started laughing, one spitting his drink all over from laughing so hard! I laughed too because it was fuuuunny! Huhu!

“Wow Sky, I never thought I’d see the day! A stallion who gets drunk from too much Sparkle Cola! Hahahaha!!!”

“Hey! This....this isn’t regular Sperkle Cola, its uh...um...Quantum! And don’t you guys forget that!” Wow! The fifth bottle was the best! So....quantumy!

“Clanks, whadya reckon is wrong with Sky? How can Quantum make somepony drunk?”
asked the guy with the funny cowboy hat. Haha! He’s a cowboy...

I then lifted my sixth bottle to the air, screaming, “WITH SCIENCE!!!” I then fell out of my comfy chair, and onto the floor, my bottle soaring through the bar and hitting somepony’s face.

Suddenly the bar went quite.

I stumbled up, smiling widely at the stallion with broken glass in his face.

“HAHA!! I can see my reflection! Get it? Because....you got glass....in your eyeballs! Haha!!”

The stallion took up his beer bottle, and threw it towards me. I was stumbling so much it missed, hitting the pony with the funny cowboy hat.

“You BASTARD!!” yelled the pony with the funny cowboy hat, who then seemed to glide across the room, tackling the stallion that threw the bottle.

Suddenly there was a lot of ponies yelling for some reason, and I went up to the bar, seeing ponies hit each other with chairs, bottles, pretty much anything they could get their hooves on. How do we even grab stuff anyway? I lifted up my forehooves, wiggling them around. I put a bottle onto the counter, slowly wrapping my forehoof around it.

“Wha...how is it possible...hehe...sciencey!”

Suddenly a pony slid across the counter, screaming while crashing into bottles. My bottle too! How dare...he....she...whatever! Nopony ruins my sciencey experiments! I looked to my left, seeing the stallion who threw the pony across.

“CHAAAARGE!!!” I screamed, flying across the room at the stallion. He ducked and I went right through the wall. I slammed into a large garbage bin, the top slamming down.

I felt tired in the darkness of the garbage bin,and slowly drifted off to sleep with the taste of yummy Quantum in my mouth.

Footnote: Level up
New Perk: Quantum Strength--+10% damage to any pony/zebra after consuming Sparkle Cola Quantum, but -2 to Intelligence