Ponies, gears and chaos(no, not Discord's chaos)

by Vampony's Helper

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Crossover
Length: 3384

What happens when one of my ideas gets into Equestria?

The Author: I have a lot of ideas, so I decided to do a chess game with a few. Problem is, I got beaten to the punch with one of the characters. So this will be separate. If you think a tag should be on this story, tell me.

The character: Hello, I'm just a kid who thinks about ponies, gears and chaos. I have thought of making a fic, but now, if the Infinite Multiverse is real, I'm in one. I gave up a lot of my advanced knowledge to have what I want, and I got a little extra.

The info: Masters/people who sent the character: Minor 40K deamons and Screwball.

The idea/what the character is: 5 way hybrid of windigo, changeling, dragon, altered griffin and pony.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-02 21:44:10 UTC

Prologue: Meeting With the Union and Bargining

The day started like it has for the last two weeks: Wake up at 3-5 in the morning, get on the IPad, read and pace. Then I went on a walk at noon. Saw 4 weird people walk up to me, with one of them, who looked like this guy

walking up to me then doing that Vulcan Neck Pinch, which in this case seemed to work on pain, and then I blacked out.

When I woke up, all I saw was purple and red. Every shade and hue, from almost white to the night sky. "Hello," said a voice behind me. I see a pink pony. No, not Pinkie, Screwball. I have a small idea of who she is, so I call what I think her name is. "Screwball?"

"Yep," she replies.

"Is this some kind of joke? Or am I going to be in Equestria? If so, are you going to be there, and what will I be."

"No, yes, as a voice in your head and you get to chose"

I turn my head to the new voice, and see something that proves where I am. He looks like a mix of Ulqiorra's first release, Grimmjow's release and a touch of Barrigan's release. Or just a winged genestealer mixed with Grimmjow. Still badass.

"Who are you? And is the the Warp of Warhamer 40K?" I ask

"My name is Teferi, the same as a character of a card game you played, and yes it is, so we need to get moving."

"Can I be a hybrid?" in regards to his 4th statement.

"If you want to be bored like me." Below me. If you know where I am, you shouldn’t be surprised. I look down and see an Astartes with what looks like wood growing out of the holes in his armor, which is colored a light brown.

I respond with this, "If you mean killing everything with ease, I'm looking for near immortality at the price of a loss of power."

"That is a no, I don't know enough about the world we're going to for that. If you list what you want or how it would work, then maybe." Buzzkill.

After a short conversation about how the lack of starving and magical traits would work, I got the assumed choice of a 5-way hybrid of windigo, changeling, dragon, altered griffin and pony. I also found out that the Astartes was named John, and Teferi was a genestealer hybrid.

"We can't get you all there, so you have to chose some things to forget, I know what I would chose." Below me. Again. John was in front of me now.

"I'm starting to get annoyed, so just get up here and explain."This is me being calm. You would want try to kill me if you saw me angry. Or be dead from me ripping veins and/or arteries out with my teeth.

"My name is Kratos, and I know you know who that is. In the game God of War, he's Greek demigod who kills most of the full gods. Granted power after his whole village was burned to the ground. If the second is true, I would chose to forget that too.

"Everything involving my life, Warhammer, biology, gearwork and 'quantum foam.'" For those of you who don't know, quantum foam is the term for the literal fabric of reality. Gravity bends it the same way as putting ball on a sheet. So with this statement, I forget particle physics, but remember time travel, teleportation and how to make something that looks like Discord in real life.

"So you have decided."

"The only thing that can make you remember is the Elements of Harmony, so there is no turning back"

"You chose good with what you are gonna be."

"One last note, if you get knocked out in a fight, I'll be in control."

"Then John if Kratos gets KOed, me if you still need to get something done and Screwball if all of us are out."

"Alright." Last word as a human. Should have made a quote.

Chapter one: Going to town, in more ways than one.

I woke up in a forest. Likely the Everfree Forest. 'lets get to town and cause some mayhem with our freakish body'

'alright, your in charge'

'that or have Twilight do it for you'

'Don't go too far, I'm still tired of fighting'

'or let Pinkie give you a party first'

I walked for a while until I saw something that reminded me slightly of the Zerg. A field with odd bulbs in the ground, with timber-wolves laying around them. Probably growing timber-wolves. On the way I noticed that I somehow still had the odd fungal infection in my right foot, now a hoof. 'Lets see what happens when I give this to a timber-wolf' Will have to wait, but I can see what the wolves have.

'how can something made of wood have warts?'

'probably some kind of fungal infection, like in my foot' If you want to know what the infection does, it basically makes a callus on my big toe, and used to make the toenail swell to the point where I could make the toe bleed by peeling it open. I had to use a dog nail grinder to make it smooth. The grinder wore out doing it. Back to Equestria...

After giving the (pod?)wolf a few fungal infections to try making it slow and insanely hard to kill, I went on my way and found a hut, which I ignored. When I got out of the forest, it was just before dawn. The slight tint of yellow next to Canterlot gave it away. AD/HD lets me ignore sleep. I used the changeling part of me to look like a unicorn with a black coat and white mane, with the cutie mark being a pair of crocodiles crossed at the stomach, which I somehow have in my 'real' form. Walking into Ponyville, I saw nopony in the streets. Feeling something in the buildings, I assumed my emotion sensing was starting to work. Then I felt a LOT of it next to me without feeling it move to me. "Pinkie?" I expect.

"How do you know who Pinkie is? And how did you notice me." It's Dash. One does not expect Pinkie and be correct.

"You, her, Twilight, Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy have all been on the papers." I take a reasonable guess.

"Still, how did you notice me. Are you a changeling?" At least she didn't say spy.

"If I was one, why would I tell you?" Snark. Hoping to get rage, for I can feed on hate.

"...Good point" Rainbow derp. First conversation and I already have a derpface.

"Which way to Sugarcube Corner? I would prefer to be ready for Pinkie."

"Ready for me? But then it wouldn't be a surprise."Again, one does not expect Pinkie.

I shift out of 'disguise', with my eye twitching. "How. I can tell there are exactly 1253 ponies in town, 534 of them are happy, 600 of them are having bad dreams and 119 are scared. HOW can you still sneak up on me? You make my head hurt just by being in town." She is made of feels, and she is at critical mass.

"What are you?" Dash asking a valid question. I have to answer this.

"I am a 5 way hybrid of windigo, changeling, dragon, altered griffin and pony. Basically a sane, relatively normal looking version of Discord." If she thinks thi-

"DISCORD?! WHO SENT YOU AND WHERE IS HE."...At least she doesn't think this is a dream.

"First, keep the anger under control, because I do get power from those hating me, second, I came here on my own, and third, Discord is still in stone, and the ones who got me this way are somehow stuck in my mind."

'good job, that is a fast answer'

"Wat." Pinkie Derp. WHAT HAVE I DONE!?!?!

"Let's ignore this happened and got on with the day." At this point, I could feel ponies waking up, so I need to stop this soon.

"okay..." Dash ignoring a major threat and Pinkie... being Pinkie...

Chapter two: Confuse ALL the ponies

After a few hours of wandering and chatting, I started to notice a group of slightly nervous ponies at what I assumed to be Sugercube Corner.'thats probably the party''if you feel someone scared of you, ask about the wedding. if they freak out, zap them''that makes a bit of sense...'With that little chat, I went to the group. As I expected, it was Sugercube Corner. Walking in, I was met with a LOT of shouting.

"SURPRISE"

124 ponies in one building... A few are scared, so I'll have to mention the wedding an-

"What happened to your hoof? It looks awful." Rarity, the first thing she noticed was the bad hoof, as expected.

"It's a fungal infection, had it my whole life. Impossible to get rid of without removing my hoof." As far as I remember, that is not a lie. Will need to be careful with Applejack. 'agreed''where are the others, anyway?'they're sleeping' Ignoring the illogical statement, I found Twi in the crowd and walked over to her. "Twilight Sparkle, student of Celestia, right?" Using some of my foreknowledge to make the 'act' easer.

"Yes, and who are you? Pinkie didn't get your name, which is odd, because she knew my name when I got here." Crap. Need a name... something to do with balance... Latin, please remain dead here. "Malum Necesse" If she knows it...

"...Where are you from?" 17-24 year old body, AD/HD and autism. "I forgot, I've been traveling a long time. It probably isn't on any maps now..." Tragic past, possible foreigner, old African symbol for balance as my cutie mark. 'that was a bit to fast, but it works' "Oh... Too small, or did something happen?" Twi is making it easy on me. Almost as easy as it was for the changelings... "Both. A lot of ponies moved away, but I can't remember why." '10 or 12 years is good enough to forget why, right?''it should work' "How can you forget something so important?" Again, Twi, you are far too naive to be awesome. "I wasn't really paying attention, just followed the road to a city. Can't remember the name of it..."'you're setting yourself up for a breakdown''not enough detail? if so, try to get Teferi up so he can help'He's messing with Luna. I don't know how, but try to stay away from her' Crap. Runaway daemon, getting ready for a shitstorm.

Teferi, messing with Luna in her dreams, round one.

"What are you?!?! Answer, or We will destroy you!!!" "When you say We, do you mean you and her? He points to the Nightmare, who looks shocked to see Luna "How did you get me in here? I'm supposed to be a mood swing given a mind of its own." "I thought you two could use a chat, if you still hate each other, then I'll get Discord a pass for this." "You DARE threaten me with that fool!?!" Luna, seeing the Nightmare present, dropped the Royal We, so the Nightmare will be confused and Luna will be ANGRY. "Little Lulu has a crush? I thought it was your sister that had a fling with him." Totally unprepared for such info, Luna went wide-eyed at the news that this thing know her sister was once involved with Discord. "How do you know of our sisters folly?" "I can see through time. And your memories."

Back at the party

'...On second thought, he's probably fine' 'Luna, on the other hand, has some problems' "You've been staring at the snack table, is something wrong?" 'Twi, y u no see it for 5 minutes?' "Just thinking about something. I'll tell you after the party." 'lets see, I still need to confuse Rarity, Fluttershy and Applejack' 'then you better get started, because we have a goddess coming for my non-existent head' 'and this is why I worry' Basic multitasking lets me be unnoticed by snacking while monologuing. "You said that fungal infection was impossible to get rid of, how much have you tried?" Rarity, you are next on the list. "Grinding it down to the point where I was unable to walk, dipping it in weedkiller, ripping it open until I couldn't feel my leg and even cutting it off. I would have to rip my leg off to get rid of it." IRL, all I did was the grinder. And ripping it off. "How did it grow back after you cut it off?" mix of shock and derp. Good enough. "I cut the hoof off down to the root. When it grew back from being removed with a rusty knife, it was still infected." 'you're messed up' 'I know. I also sense a lack of Fluttershy...' I got used to her 'feel' after using her as a landmark for 5 hours. And Rarity walked away...

"Howdy, my na-" Interrupt because of incoming Luna. "-me is Applejack, Element of Honesty and I can't remember off the top of my head whether it's you, your brother or Granny Smith who legally owns Sweet Apple Acres." 'and now I have one left' 'Fluttershy will require you to use a little... persuasion' 'if you mean changeling, NO, it is a sin to harm her, and that is one of the few sins I will not preform'

Chapter three: The counter-derp.

After making a Pinkie Promise to Twi that I would tell her what I was thinking, I started to head towards Fluttershy to see if I could get her to derp. After almost two hours of walking I saw her house.'you should have ran, you have no need for sleep and can't get exhausted' 'Finally you wake up, it's past noon' Knocking on the door, I here a squeak and feel a burst of fear. "C-come in," she stutters. I open the door and see what I think is the 'pod' wolf I infected. It's bigger, has a few flowers growing from the cracks and looks damaged from the swelling.'so this is a diseased timber wolf' 'it looks sad...' "What happened to this?" Asking for her opinion, so I know what she thinks. "I-i don't know, I've never seen something like this, but I hope it won't hurt the trees." 'are any of you doing something to her? she's not afraid of me''no, I would notice' "It can't hurt trees. At least on its own. I recognize the swelling and the color of the cracks, it's a type of fungal infection, a lot like the one I have in my hoof. I know because I made this version. It has to be eaten or wedged into a crack, making it impossible for a tree to get it." 'don't tell her what it does to porcupines. also, Teferi is off again' 'crap'

Chatting with Discord, round one

"So you can still see and speak to others in here?" It looked like they where in Discord's head, looking out of his eyes, which where windows. "Yep. Only do it to the guards though. It's fun watching them run around looking for ponies who aren't there."

"Sounds hard. Can you go into the dreams of others? Because I threatened Luna with letting you do that to her." Discord's eyes widened, then he smiled" On my own, no. If you did it to her, I can follow. Did you mention my fling with her sister?" Now Teferi smiled. "Yes, I did. She was surprised to see me leave her with the Nightmare for the rest of the day, too." Discord has now derped. "Run. Never stop, go to another reality, you can't survive her wrath. Even I fear her." Turning, Teferi showed Discord a Gin grin. "She can try to kill us. It won't work. 5,000 years of war does a lot for your skills."

'...Fluttershy, of all ponies, is the lean R63ed one...' 'even I wasn't expecting this. though I never got a good view...' 'dude, that's creepy' 'can I go posses a changeling?' 'only if it's mindless' 'okay...'

"What do you mean you made it?" Asked while still shocked. HE can wait. "You sounded like a mare..." Still shocked that I have to deal with this. "I get that a lot. Even dash, one of my best friends, thought that. When she found out, she wanted to date, but I told her I didn't want to.but twi on the other hoof... Then a little while later she found a Griffin, but I can't remember his name. " Wow. He wants Twi... "So... What's your name?" I need to know... "Fluttershy. Even more ponies mistake me for a mare because of that." 'wat' 'why''how' Well then... "You still didn't answer my question. What do you mean you made it?" 'truth?' 'partly' "I made it by altering the fungal infection in my hoof, the reason why I did it was to see what happened." 'good enough'

Chapter four: The maddness truly begins

"You have been found guilty of treason and murder, and shall be sentenced to capital punishment. Any last words?"Typical. Just need to wait."Very well then. Your 'service' begins now." With a flash of her horn, Teferi felt a solid, direct connection form and the changelings mind die. Overpowering the Queen's spell, Teferi assumed direct control of the husk. "Hello, if you excuse me, I'm going to leave, and give this  one this one back to you. In the mean time, I'd like to chat, it's lot easer to talk then to look at the past." He said with a strange mix of the changelings voice and his own. "What are you? How can you steal a body bound to another's soul?" Teleporting to Fluttershy's cottage, he continued the conversation telepathically.'when you exist as a soul without a body for 5,000 years, you can break telepathic control easily' 'how can you still contact me with the link?' 'I'd prefer not to wast a body. If I lose my loose control of it, you can take it back with ease. and by then, It will be much better and harder for me to take again. Abandoning the 'chat', he started adjusting the body for magnets, rather easy, actually knowing how to. "Okay, now to wait." After only 10 minutes, Luna arrived. "Hello, how was talking with the Nightmare? I assume it went well, because I don't feel anything dead in Canterlot." Looking at him, Luna gasped in shock, then got ready for a fight. "So you forced a mindless drone to be your puppet? Cowered." firing a beam, she grinned when she felt his presence fade, only to feel an impact on her left wing, dislocating the joint and making her wince in pain. "What? How are you able to hide your soul?" 'I don't have to, in the moments before you got here, I finished remaking one of my machines in the form of a spell' Surprised that he was able to go that fast, Luna didn't notice that he was using mental communication. "How could you make a machine that can hide the soul?" Suddenly, she was back in Canterlot, in one of the empty vaults. "It made little sense to me, and it only got more confusing the more I found out." Still wishing to kill the only thing she found more annoying than Blueblood, Luna tried another beam, only to see it bend around him. "So that's why you want to kill me? I would just kill Blueblood and damn the consequences."

"What? How do you know of his bothersome behavior?" For some reason, I want Pinkie here... "He's is a wall breaker, silly Lulu. You can't understand me, let alone him." More nonsense, Pinkie, MOAR. 'no, I want to make sense for once. I mean, having me be random ALL the time makes me dull. and last I checked, you don't do my kind of random well' While I, the Author argued with Pinkie, she and Teferi where working together to annoy Luna as much as possible. That scene will be next chapter.