Pony-mian Rhapsody

by StoryBirth

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Random
Length: 1891

Anyway the wind blows.....

Originally made for the Writer's Training Ground, this is an awesome adaptation of just what would happen if the Mane 6 sang Queen's epic song. Technically not a songfic.

Published 2012-11-30 03:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-30 03:50:02 UTC

Pony-mian Rhapsody

It was dark. Twilight was the only one in the mysterious darkness. She was confused. Where was she? The unicorn didn't have a clue how she even got there. Even though it was dark as midnight, she could still see herself clear as day, but she couldn't move. All she could do was stand where she was and wonder what was going on.

Suddenly, four lights were lit. They shone on the four familiar faces of Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash. The four faces were huge, acting as sort of a moving wallpaper for the dark room. Before Twilight could ask any of her friends anything, they broke out into a harmonic song, almost a chant. "Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide. No escape from reality."

Her four friends' heads remained visible as the black background turned into a shining white that blinded Twilight. The four ponies continued to sing, this time with a slow piano acconpaniment. "Open your eyes. Look up to the skies and see."

Twilight Sparkle, still very confused, tried to ask a question to her four friends, but she was quickly interrupted by Pinkie Pie. She sat behind Twilight, singing a sad ballad to the sky. Behind her was Rarity, playing on a royal purple grand piano "Im just a poor mare."

"Poor mare." The choir of four echoed.

"I need no sympathy."

"Because I'm easy come. Easy go. Little high. Little low."

The quartet joined Pinkie Pie's singing with an harmony of "oo"'s. "Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me." The choir stopped as Pinkie gave a morose, yet beautiful solo. "To meeeeeee."

The piano continued its tempo and played a strangely mesmerizing tune as the somehow depressed pink pony approached her. Twilight jumped on the opportunity to ask a question. "Pinkie, what is going on?"

"Mommaaaa. Just killed a man."

The scene was getting more confusing by the second, and all Twilight could do was ask herself an endless number of questions. Why was Pinkie Pie calling her Momma? Who did she kill? Why was she singing about it? Why did the room change colors? Why were those four floating heads floating like that? Why was Rarity playing a pianoShe gave up and listened to Pinkie's song.

"Put a gun against his head. Pulled my trigger now he's dead." The pink party pony pantomimed a projectile protruding into her peepers, portraying a personality of a poor pony pondering her peril.

"Mommaaaaa. Life had just begun. But now I've gone and thrown it all away." Suddenly a cymbal crash was heard, which started a drumbeat in the background, which was revelaed to be played by Applejack, beating a drumset with an apple on it. When the beat started, Pinkie Pie grabbed her friend by the shoulders. "Mommaaaaaaaa. oooOOOooo. Didn't mean to make you cry. If I'm not back again this time tomorrow, carry on. Carry on. As if nothing really matters."

The piano returned with its hypnotic melody from before, leaving for a brief slow solo for the piano. Twilight figured it would be a good time to ask Pinkie a question. Out of her many, that is: Whether it was "Where am I?", "Why are you singing?", "Why are you calling me momma?" or-

"Since when did Applejack play drums?" She would later regret asking such a stupid question.

Pinkie broke back out into song, the choir of four being absent, but the orange pony being present to support with percussion and the pale unicorn providing the fine melody. "Too late. My time has come." Remember how I said Twilight would later regret asking such a stupid question. This is that time. This is also the only time she regrets it because she's too busy getting her fanmade socks rocked off for the rest of this fic to regret anything.

"Send shivers down my spine." Twilight felt a shiver go down her spine. Was that some form of magic?

"Body's achin' all the time. Goodbye everypony. I've got to go. Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth." The sound of a guitar pierced the air as Fluttershy was seen joining the band with a pink guitar embroided with yellow butterflies. The bubbly pink pony grabbed Twilight one last time.

"Mommaaaaaa. oooOOOooo. I don't wanna die! Sometimes wish I'd never been born at all."

Suddenly, a flood of sparks and rainbows took over her field of vision as Rainbow Dash flew out next to Fluttershy and played an electric guitar solo. Each note she played produced a rainbow and a shower of luminescent sparks as if she was whittling away at the sky blue guitar itself.

The solo ended abruptly, suddenly moving to a fast paced set of chords on the piano. Rarity lightly tapped each note as it became dark again. This time there was a single light shining brightly behind Pinkie Pie, leaving her entire body, along with her poofy hair, to appear completely black. A new singing voice joined in to replace Pinkie Pie's.

"I see a little silhouette of a mare," sang Rainbow Dash. Her speaking voice was rough, but her singing voice was smooth as glass.

The choir reappeared with all four of the ponies from earlier. Twilight Sparkle noticed that there were two Raritys and Two Rainbow Dashes, She would have questioned this if the quartet hadn't decided to randomly spew out the utter nonsense of "Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Will you do the Fandango?"

The confused unicorn jumped as a group of lightning bolts narily avoided electrocuting her. Each one flew by her at a rhythmic beat like a metronome. In time with the lightning, the quartet sang, "Thunderbolts and lightning! Very very frightening me!"

The lightning, now silent, continued to wizz around the bookworm as the musical group continued to chant more nonsense, with Fluttershy singing a high-pitched "Galileo!" and Rainbow Dash responding with a lower pitched "Galileo!". This process repeated once again, followed by the two of them simultaneously saying "Galileo figaro!"

As Rarity sang her line, the lightning bolts stopped, but needless to say it got stranger. "Magnificoooooooo!" As she sang, it was as if hundreds of identical ghosts of her had appeared next to her. The note changed pitch several times, each change creating a string of translucent Raritys singing the note.

The scene made yet another whiplash to feature Pinkie Pie singing alone once again. "I'm just a poor mare. Nopony loves me."

The scene whiplashed back to the choir of floating heads, wgo belted their part into Twilight's face. "She's just a poor mare from a poor family. Spare her her life from this monstrosity."

Rarity's short-lived piano solo that followed gave the purple pony time to think. She tried to find as much meaning as possible to what she was hearing. Did Pinkie Pie kill someone, or was she the one who was killed? Or is she not dead yet, but about to die? And why were her four friends singing and playing instruments? What was that Scatta Moosh thing?

Pinkie Pie returned to singing. Why was she even singing and why was she Pinkie's mom? Twilight gave up again when Pinkie started singing quietly, her big pleading eyes to the sky. "Easy come. Easy go. Will you let me go?"

Rainbow Dash and Applejack's heads separated from the quartet to confront the pink pony. "Basmilah! NO! We will not let you go!"

Rarity and Fluttershy let out a protesting cry from the other side of the pitch black room. "Let her go!"

The two tomboys' heads turned to the two against them "Basmilah! We will not let her go!"

"Let her go!"

Each yell pushed their heads closer together as if the four of them (even Fluttershy) were about to start fighting. "Basmilah! We will not let her go!

"Let her go!"

"Will not let her go!"

"Let her go!"

"Will not let her go!"

"Let her gooooooo!" Like earlier, there were lines of duplicate ghosts that only appeared for a second to correspond to the changing notes.

Rainbow Dash and Applejack yelled every word they said as if their voice was a nailgun. "No! No! No! No! No! No! No!"

"Oh mamma mia! Mamma mia!" the pink pony interrupted.

"Mamma mia, let me go!" All five of them sang in harmony as Apple jack was seen beating the drums with a building strength. "Beelzebub has the devil put aside for me. For me. For meeeeeeeeeeeee!" Fluttershy was heard hitting a note higher than a majority of the town's whistles.

Suddenly, there was an explosion as the tempo made another drastic change to a slower tempo, but still a very upbeat, rock tune. From the smoke of the explosion was Rainbow Dash playing another solo on her electric guitar on a huge stage that seemed to simply appear from the darkness. Next to her was Fluttershy playing on the bass and Applejack jamming on the drumset. This sight was hard to describe with words, but Twilight would remember it as confusing, but super awesome.

The poof in the mane of the pink earth pony had returned as she grabbed a microphone on the stage. Pinkie sang with a rebellious tone on stage. "So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye? So you think you can love me and leave me to diiiie? Ohhhhhhhh baby! Can't do this to me baby! Just gotta get out. Just gotta get right out of here."

As the rocking guitar music continued to resonate through the unknown space, Twilight Sparkle took the break from any lyrics to her advatage to reflect on what was happening, since asking her questions wasn't going to get her anywhere.

So, from what she could tell from what she heard, the song was about Pinkie Pie, who was apparently poor, using the powers of Zeus to kill another pony, so she sings to her mom about it. Then she and her friends sang random gibberish. The purple unicorn couldn't find an ounce of sense in the song.

Unfortunately, she couldn't delve any deeper due to a change in tempo. It was sounding much more like the tempo in the beginning. Fluttershy faded away as Rainbow Dash continued to play her guitar solo. Rarity reappeared on her piano as Rainbow Dash and Applejack faded into the darkness, leaving Pinkie Pie to sing next to the accompaniment of her friends grand piano.

"Nothing really matters. Anyone can see. Nothing really matters. Nothing really matters. To me."

Rarity played a slow melody on the piano as the choir of floating heads appeared to make a final performance. "Any way the wind blows." The sound of a gong was heard in the distance as the group faded into the black and their song ended. Twilight was left alone in the world of darkness, as she closed her eyes to leave the world she had found.

Twilight Sparkle opened her eyes and lifted her head. She was still confused about what was going on. The unicorn's eyes went to the clock. It read 2:03.

Suddenly, she heard the familiar beat that introduces "Equestria Girls". As she heard it, Twilight Sparkle was no longer confused. She removed her earbuds, turned off her iPony, and went back to sleep.