Pony Never Cry

by Gypsy

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 8612

Dante, Trish, and Lady end up in Equestria after a freak accident with cultist.

Dante, Trish, and Lady end up in Equestria after a freak accident with cultist. Now not only do they have to learn how to adapt to their new forms but also save Ponyville, Canterlot, and all of Equestria from a group of demon cultist who are trying to resurrect a god.

Published 2012-01-11 02:08:16 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-28 15:50:34 UTC

Act I

DISCLAIMER: I don't own My Little Pony or Devil May Cry.

•••

In the middle of a forest a group of roughly forty cultist were in a circle chanting. "KHORNE! Come for we have paved the way for bloodshed! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! COME FORTH AND REVEL IN DEATH!" The cultist were huddled in a circle, surrounding a pentagram glowing green with symbols unknown.

A man walked out of the thick forest. With silver hair and a red trench coat. Carrying with him a sword. "What's this? A party and no one invited me!" A few cultist withdrew their attention from the pentagram and focused on the man who just spoke.

"Demon hunter you shouldn't have come." A cultist spoke with a demonic tone in his voice.

"As if I would miss a party like this! Now if you don't mind who like to dance with me first?"

Three of the cultist started to shake violently and in a geyser of blood came monsters only seen in hell.

Out of the first cultist was a creature with red and white flesh, spikes jutting out of the back and carrying a similar colored scythe. The second monster was reminiscent of the reaper himself, a floating ghastly body covered in a shroud of the purest black seemingly made out of shadows. In its hands was a scythe with a blade that glowed purple. And finally the third hellish creature was blood red gargoyle.

"Only faces a mother could love" He chuckled, readying his sword he went into a battle stance waiting for the first demon to make its move and just as quickly did he enter the stance did the demons attack all at once.

The red and white demon had teleported in front of the demon hunter within striking distance while the reaper look-a-like had teleported behind. "My my an Abyss and a Hell's Vanguard! You cultist are pretty high rank."

The Abyss swung its red-white scythe at the demon hunter but he quickly blocked the attack with his sword and then the Hell's Vanguard swung it's weapon hoping to decapitate the demon hunter but was also blocked but by a ebon pistol. "Two against one isn't playing fair ya know." He said as he firmly held the sword with left hand and the pistol in his right.

"Then let's make it even!" Suddenly a blonde women came down from the sky landing on top of the Hell's Vanguard.

"Trish, so you finally decided to come and here I thought I'd be having all the fun." Trish watched as he pushed the Abyss a good fifty feet back with his sword and dashed towards it.

"I wouldn't have missed this much fun for the world Dante." Trish jumped off the Hell's Vanguard only to shoot it several times with lightning that arced out of her palms and landed a safe distance watching as it got back up from the assault.

Dante was spending too much time toying with his opponent and decided to finally kill the Abyss demon. With a swift sweeping kick the monster was suddenly in midair and Dante has brought his sword down onto the demon, cutting it in half as blood sprayed everywhere.

Trish was also done playing around and ran up close to the Hell's Vanguard and grabbed it's face and scythe with her hands which sparked with large amounts of energy. She released all the pent up energy in her hands and let loose as a blinding light erupted from the explosion of lighting that was directed at the Hell's Vanguard. As the smoke from the blast cleared all that was left standing was Trish.

Dante and Trished ended up side by side confronted by a single gargoyle. "I never seen a gargoyle that small and that color, considering that the other two were a Abyss and a Vanguard I suspect we shouldn't underestimate this little guy." Trish said. Dante raised his pistol and pulled the trigger, firing a bullet that tore the red gargoyle in half. "Or maybe not. Let's stop the summoning before we have to deal with a god." But just as they were making their way the remains of the red gargoyle started to bubble.

"What the hell?" Dante and Trish watched as the remain rised into the air, the two separate parts of the demon now became two complete gargoyles. Dante raised his pistol again and fired two shots, one at each gargoyle tearing them in two again and again they regenerated. "This is getting me pissed." Soon enough Dante was shooting the gargoyles as fast and as much as he could but only ended up multiplying their numbers by two with each supposed kill. They were now surrounded by a swarm of gargoyles.

"Looks like you two could use some more help." A women with short black hair, white shirt, and a mini skirt carrying a large missile launcher came from out of the forest.

"Well look who we have here, I guess the gang is all here, how ya doing Lady?"

"Oh just doing fine until you managed to completely ruin the job I was hired to do, and look at what you've done now! Don't you know better than to try and kill Blood Gargoyles with bullets and swords?! Uhg if I don't get paid after this I putting it on the debt you owe me."

"What?!?" Dante was not amused by the sudden increase in his already large sum of money he owed Lady.

"Just shut up and let me handle this Dante, This needs more of a woman's touch." Lady raised her missile launcher and aimed at the center of the swarm. A large rocket shot out of the barrel and went straight for the swarm. As the rocket hit the center the rocket had exploded in a large burst of fire and force.

The aftermath of the explosion was just what was expected, nothing of the Blood Gargoyles had remained therefore they couldn't regenerate.

"Now that that's out of the way lets stop that summoning while we still have time." All three had rushed to the group of cultist who were unaware of them but as they got within mere inches of the cult a mighty wind had come from seemingly nowhere throwing Dante, Trish, and Lady into the pentagram along with a few of the cultist.

"THE SUMMONING WAS NOT COMPLETE! WHAT HAPPENED!" Yelled one of the cultist but before anyone could reply the pentagram exploded on the three and the cultist.

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Well I've had this idea stuck inside my head for awhile and decided to write it and see where it got me. I currently have no Pre or Proof Readers.

Comment, Rate, Tell me what you think!

Act II

"Now girls I gathered you all here today to discuss something important." In a treehouse located in the town of Ponyville, six friends were talking.

"So important it had to interrupt my training for the Wonderbolts Twilight?"

"And not to mention I have a rather large order of dress I need to make for Sapphire Shores fashion show."

"Plus you know ah got a whole lotta apples that need to be bucked."

Five of mares we're getting to Twilight's nerves. "Alright girls settle down and I'll tell you." The five ponies stopped talking and waited for Twilight to speak again but before she could say anything else a loud thunderous clap was heard throughout.

Fluttershy shot under the table, Rainbow Dash flew into the air in a jolt, Rarity fainted, Applejack covered her ears, and Twilight looked around trying to figure out where the noise came from.

Applejack looked over to the fainted body of Rarity. "Oh for Granny's sake somepony wake up Rarity."

Above the Everfree Forest a large green glowing pentagram floated above a clearing. The pentagram was bustling with energy as is stood floating and suddenly a loud thunderous clap and fourteen lightning bolts shot out from the center of the pentagram, three of which were shot straight down while the rest shot out in random locations.

The six friends were outside of the treehouse witnessing what just happened above the Everfree Forest.

"Let's go see!" Rainbow Dash flew over in the direction of the forest.

"RAINBOW WAIT!" Twilight yelled but to no avail. "Let's go girls before Rainbow Dash gets into trouble."

Back in the forest lay three ponies. "What the hell just happened?" Dante semi-conscious tried getting up but kept on falling. "What?!" He looked at his hands or better yet what would have been his hands if they weren't hooves. "MY HANDS! MY ARMS!" He started scrambling around and managed to stand. He searched his surroundings to see he was in a clearing...with two other things on the floor next to him.

"Horses? The fuck? I'M A HORSE?!" He was panicking and trying to move about but tripped over his own legs. "GAH!" and landed face first.

"DANTE COULD YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!" Lady's voice was distinct, Dante looked over to the white pony with short cut black mane. "Lady?"

"Why can't I move my fingers? Or my toes?" Lady opened her eyes and looked towards her hands only to see hooves. "WHAT THE FU-" She looked over to see a beige pony with a silver mane trying to get up.

"Dante? Is that you?" Dante fell again on the floor and looked over to Lady. "Yeah it's me."

Lady also tried getting up and managed to do it. She walks over to Dante who stopped trying but trying not to fall herself.

"Here let me help you up." Lady used one of her front legs to help Dante get leverage. "So where are we?" Lady asked as Dante managed to keep his balance.

"I don't know so don't ask me." Dante noticed the third pony start to shift. "Is that Trish?" The pony in particular had a black coat with a blonde mane. "Go check on her."

Dante shuffled over to Trish. "It looks like she's sleeping. Well I'll be damned twice, she's kinda cute as a sleeping horse." Lady gave Dante a confused look.

"Right, anyways now what do we do? Wait where's Kalina Ann?!" Lady was searching the clearing for her beloved missile launcher. Dante upon realizing he too was missing his sword and guns started looking as well.

"Where are my stupid things?! I don't see them anywhere!" Dante was getting nervous at the thought of losing Rebellion, the sword his dad gave to him as a keepsake, and his personally customized guns Ebony and Ivory.

"Here they are! I found them!" Yelled Lady and motioning for Dante to come look. The weapons were in small craters. "Here my baby." Lady went over to her missile launcher and nuzzled it. She moved her head through the strap but something wasn't letting it set comfortably. "Dante take a look at my sides." Dante looked and his jaw almost dropped. "Well the problem is that your wings are in the freaking way." Lady's heart almost exploded.

"WHAT I HAVE WINGS?!" Lady moved her head to the side trying to see but her head didn't let so she wound up spinning around trying to see.

"Will you stop that, you're getting me dizzy."

"I'm a Pegasus! Oh this is so cool!"

"How the hell is being an animal remotely cool?" Dante out of curiosity also tried seeing if he had wings. "Hey do I have any?" Lady looked over to Dante but didn't see any wings.

"Nope, nothing. Must suck for you HA!" Dante only grunted.

"You don't even know how to use those things so you might as well not even have wings dumbass." Lady didn't care what he said, she had wings and was content on using them or learning how to.

"Let's check if Trish has wings." Lady went over to the sleeping Trish but didn't find any wings. "No wings...wait a second." Lady looked at Trish's face and noticed a long pointy spike coming out of her forehead.

"Hey Dante look at this." Lady looked over to Dante to see him trying to hold his sword in his mouth, leaving slobber to slide down the handle, and trying to pick up his guns with his hooves. "Will stop that, you look stupid!"

Dante dragged his sword that was in his mouth and kicked his guns over to lady. He spit out his sword. "What is it?" Lady pointed at the horn on Trish.

"She's...a unicorn..." Dante was pissed that he ended up without wings or a horn. "This is bullshit, you get wings, she gets a horn, and what do I get? Nothing!" Lady could only laugh at his bad luck.

"Oh suck it up Dante, you still look hot even as a horse though." Dante gave Lady a glare. "Lady. Shut up." He did not want to hear the words hot and horse in the same sentence ever again.

Lady noticed figures in the distance. "Hey Dante look over there." Dante looked to his right and saw six figures heading their way.

"Locals? Or wild life?" Lady couldn't tell.

"Let's just be prepared just in case we have to defend ourselves." Dante bite down on the handle of Rebellion while Lady put Kalina Ann next to her, her hoof near the trigger just in case.

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Hm this is coming out oddly nice to me, tell me what you guys think.

Comment & Rate

Act III

"Rainbow Dash! Wait up!" Twilight yelled as four other of her friends followed suit in their pursuit of Dash.

"Sheesh fine. You guys are such slow pokes." Dash said as she hovered in place, waiting for her five friends to catch up.

"All this running is getting my coat positively dirty! And my mane is frizzing!" Rarity whined as she tried to brush her mane with her comb.

"Where'd ya get that comb?" Applejack said confused.

"Well I always do come prepared for such things dear." Applejack only rolled her eyes knowing the fashionista was always prepared...To keep her body clean that is.

"Alright girls let's move on AND TOGETHER." Twilight said as she gave a Rainbow Dash a stare.

"Fine, Fine we'll go as a group."

A few minutes passed and the six mares had come upon a large meadow. Twilight noticed something in the distance and squinted her eyes.

"Girls look! Seems to be some ponies over there in the distance." The rest of the mares took notice of this.

"You think they also came here to find out?"

"Or they could be the ones that caused it." The six shivered at the thought.

"Well enough standing around let's go meet them and find out!" Pinkie began hopping towards the ponies in the distance.

"So here's the plan, if they start attacking I sling my sword at one of them and dash to the others and...Buck them?" Lady fachoofed.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves Dante, they just might be friendly."

"And what makes you say that?"

"Well this place, I don't know, it kinda gives off this, this happy feeling. Like everything is fine." Lady put one of her hoofs to her chin trying to think why she was feeling this way.

"Happy feeling? I have no idea what you're talkin' bout." Dante Tried shrugging but couldn't find the right movements on how to do it. "Fucking horse body."

"Be quiet they're here and please for God's sake don't act like yourself."

"Myself? You mean charming, handsome, and all around cool."

"You forgot stupid, lazy, and a smartass!"

"Be quiet women they're here." But before Lady could say anything more she was greeted by a voice that came from the group of ponies that mere inches from them.

"Hello there, Im Twilight Sparkle, this here is Applejack-"

"Howdy."

"This is Rarity-"

"Pleasure to meet you."

"Rainbow Dash-"

"Sup."

"Fluttershy-"

"eep."

"Sorry she's a bit um shy and lastly this is-"

"HI! I'M PINKIE PIE AND I KNOW EVERYPONY AND SINCE I DON'T KNOW YOU I HAVE TO THROW A WELCOME PARTY BECAUSE IF WE DIDN'T YOU TWO WOULDN'T HAVE A WELCOME PARTY AND CUPCAKES! OOOO I LOVE CUPCAKES, DO YOU LOVE CU-PMGFH!"

Twilight shoved her hoof into Pinkie Pie's mouth to stop her from talking. "So hehe what's your names?" Twilight asked nervously as she sees the beige pony standing behind a very large sword.

Dante whispered in Lady's ear. "These horses names are freaking girly." Lady replied by shoving Dante away and took the initiative to be the first to talk to the group.

"Hi there, um my name is Lady and this next to me is Dante." Lady reached out her hoof to shake Twilight's.

"Nice to meet you Lady and Dante, Mind explaining why you two are out here?" Twilight didn't want to be so direct but she didn't want to get side tracked.

Lady caught off guard by the sudden question quickly tried to come up with an answer as why they were in the middle of a clearing. "Uh well you see me and my friends came out here for a picnic and well one of us got drunk and passed out but we didn't want to strain ourselves from carrying her and going back home so we just stayed here." Lady said mentally hoping they would buy it.

"And where 'xactly are the picnic things?" Applejack narrowed her eyes, catching wind of the obvious lie.

Lady cursed herself. Dante on the other hand had enough of the questions and wanted this to end quickly.

"We shot out of the freaking pentagram above us." Dante pointed out flatly.

Everypony but Dante were wide-eyed with mouths agape.

"What the hell Dante?!"

"What do you mean?! You two shot out of that giant rune?!" Twilight was dumbfounded.

"Yeah, simple as that. Now since we answered your question mind if you answer ours?" Dante said.

Twilight came out of her thinking. "Yes, yes ask away!"

"Mind telling us where the hell we are?" Twilight and her friends cringed at the language.

"You're in Equestria of course."

"What's Equestria?" Lady asked seemingly surprised this was some part of heaven or even hell.

"It's the whole continent! You're just a few minutes away from Ponyville."

"Pony...Ville? That's fucking creative." The six mares cringed again, Lady taking notice slapped Dante upside the head.

"Watch your language!"

"Anyways you said friend's and that implies there's one or more other than you two?" Twilight asked.

"Yes just one she's right here sleeping, I guess she must'a knocked out or something when we shot out of there." Lady led the mares to Trish who laid soundly asleep.

"So you three did come out of there, did anypony else come through as well?"

Dante and Lady froze remembering that they had been caught in the explosion with ten other people or in their case, demons. "Oh no." Was all Lady could say.

"Oh no? What do you mean by that?" Twilight asked curiously.

"Oh uh hehe I just meant oh no just us, hey can you take us to Ponyville? That's where you six live right?" Lady had to derail cause if they kept asking questions things were bound to get ugly.

"I'd also like to ask you one more question Lady, why does he have a large sword? And what is that huge metal pipe thing?"

"This baby is my pride and joy! Handed down to me by my old man." Dante expressed his love of Rebellion. He bite down on the handle and threw it high into the air spinning rapidly as it soared through the air. As it came down everypony but Dante and Lady covered their eyes. Dante caught the sword at the perfect moment, the handle once again in his mouth.

"Show off."

"WOW THAT WAS SO COOL! The way you you threw the humongous sword and caught it!" Rainbow Dash flew around Dante.

"How'd he manage pick up that large sword let alone throw it and catch it?!" Twilight demanded, no pony could do what Dante had just done.

"Mr.Show-Off here is half demon so he posses inhuman strength and agility but honestly when you're as lazy and idiotic as him those things don't mean much." Lady explained.

"Half demon? Inhuman? What's that?" Twilight has never heard these two words before and when she tried pronouncing inhuman it was almost as if she wasn't meant to say it.

"You don't know what a demon is?"

"Nope."

"Tell me what's the dominant species here?"

"Ponies but there are also Griffons and Dragons."

"No humans?"

"Whats a human?" Again she had trouble pronouncing the word.

Lady thought about this but preferred to hold back on all the information for now. "Nevermind, bout this I'll answer your questions in due time but for right now let's head over to the town, I'm kind of beat."

"Oh of course! I'll lead the way."

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Sorry took so long to get this out I was busy reading this Doctor Who / Firefly crossover, freaking 100k+ words really screwed me over more than I thought it would but it was worth it. I better lay off the non-pony fiction for awhile seeing as when I read non-pony fanfic I lose interest in writing ponies, scary.

Anyways Comment, Rate, Fuck, Shit, Stack.

Act IV

"How in Hell's domain did our bodies turn into these shit horse forms?!" A cloaked pony had directed to nine other cloaked ponies.

"Better question is where the fuck are we?" One of them had said.

"Quiet you two, what matters above all is the summon."

"But we cant! We do not have the items let alone the knowledge seeing as our other brothers that we have lost had most of the information on the ritual. It's impossible now to summon Khorne."

"Then let us start all over with another. This...place must have a few demon-gods we can summon. Anyone object?" The nine ponies said nothing as they didn't have anything else to come up with.

"Then it is settled. But before we do anything I believe it would be most wise to gather information and the castle on the mountain seems a good place to get all this. And one more thing, do not do anything to give us away." The ponies nodded and all walked out of the cave and headed towards the castle in the distance.

"So what kind of name is Dante? Does it mean something?" Rainbow Dash asked as the group of eight trotted to Ponyville.

"Rainbow you don't ask that kind of question!" Twilight told Dash with a stern look

"Nah it's cool, what was it, Twilight? My old man named me after a man by the name of Dante Alighieri."

"The famous poet? You got to be kidding me, kinda ironic that you're the least poetic person I know." Lady chuckled, Dante being named after a poet.

"Say what you want Lady, For a human to traverse the very bowls of Hell and come out even wiser than going insane is a OK guy in my book."

"You telling me that was true?!"

"Oh yeah, my dad even met him him on his journey, said he was an inspiration and other junk."

"Oh Dante I can't restrain myself any longer!" Everypony looked at Rarity.

"I MUST KNOW WHAT YOU ARE WEARING! That coat is simply divine!"

"What I'm wearing? Just something I whipped up." Rarity's eyes were gleaming with fascination.

"You never mention you were a fashion enthusiast."

"Fashion enthusiast? Hardly, that get up is the only thing he wears, I don't even know if he washes his cloths." Lady said.

"HEY! I have you know I wash my cloths daily! If I didn't I'd reek of demon blood." Dante shot back.

"As if you already don't." Lady rolled her eyes.

Applejack's ears perked up at the mention of blood. "What in tarnations do you mean blood?" Applejack stopped walking and looked at Dante and Lady.

"Oh well uh you see...We're demon hunters." Lady didn't want to start a conversation like this with a bunch of innocent cute ponies.

"Demon hunters?"

"Ah we hunt these creatures that do bad things ."

"And what about them good demons hm?" Applejack was in defensive mode.

"Good demons? Well depends if they aren't doing good things."

"And you just go right up and kill'em is that it? No second chances or nothin'?"

Lady was put off by these questions, she never really thought about this. To her all demons were pretty much the same, well with the expecting of Dante and his father. Were there other demons like them or that had the capacity to?

"Applejack that's enough."

"No Twi, I'm not gonna stand here and wait for these shady ponies to right up stab us in the back when we ain't lookin'. You heard'em they don't have mercy."

"Put it to ya straight Applejack the demons we right up and kill have killed innocents or were about to." Dante said as he stood there with a bored look on his face.

"See Applejack they wouldn't hurt us."

"Unless you're all demons plotting to rule the world and devour the souls of other horses." Dante threw in.

"No we aren't so that settles it then. Applejack we can trust them."

"OK Twilight but I'm keepin' my eyes on them until they can earn my trust."

"Alright then, Let's move out ponies."

Dante walked over to Lady and whispered in her ear. "She said ponies, you got to be shitting me, we aren't even horses, we're midgets. And look they have tattoos on their asses."

"Why are you looking at their asses huh?" Lady smirked.

"Dante was taken aback at the question. "Shut the hell up it's not you didn't notice too!"

"Only until you pointed it out, I always thought you were a pervert Dante but checking out another species?"

"Gah, I don't want to hear this, you disgust me Lady."

The group had finally arrived in Ponyville, the streets bustling with life. Vendors, children playing, Pegasi flying around, it was peaceful.

"Welcome to Ponyville!
I'llberightbackimgoingtogogetyour'welcometoponyvilledanteandlady'partyreadykaythanksbye!" And with that Pinkie Pie jumped into the air and dashed forward.

"What the fu-"

"Dante language!"

"That's our Pinkie, don't worry Dante she just went to get your's and Lady's party ready." Twilight explained.

"Ah! That reminds me I must attend to my business, I'll see you fine ladies and Dante later on."

"Oh and my animals must be hungry I have to go feed them!"

"Yeah I gotta go too, clearing up the clouds and stuff, see you guys later."

"I gotta go as well, I left Big Mac to buck all them apple trees alone. I'll be seeing y'all."

"Well I just guess that leaves us three...and Miss Sleepy over here. I think we should drop her off at my home and get you guys a comfy place to stay. I think we can figure out where you three can be staying when the girls get back seeing as I don't really have any space at my house."

"Let's hurry it up I'm starving for some pizza." Dante hadn't eaten for quite some time.

"I agree with Dante I'm hungry as well and I believe Trish will be too when she gets up."

"Alrighty then, let's drop her off at my place, my assistant will make sure she's safe, and then we can go get some food."

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Sorry for the late update but fuck I'm getting ready to goto Florida on the 27 of this month plus I just paid $400 for a peeling treatment on my face and it burns like that of a thousand suns. Plus reading the constant fanfic's you guys write makes it hard to have time and as I may have mentioned before I've been reading non-pony stories, namely House MD crossovers which I might add most suck -_-

Anyways I don't know when the next update is gunna be.

Also what would Dante's Trish's and Lady's cutie marks be?

As always Comment and Rate and I might give you one of my tears and tell you your future.

Act V

Over at the Canterlot entrance gate, two guards stood talking to each other out of sheer boredom.

"-And I gave that bitch a gem, bitches love gems."

"Dude, Firebrand, I still don't know why you're dating a Diamond Dog. But I'm happy for you."

"Thanks Nova, means a lot coming from you bro."

"Hey dude, you two ever, you know, knock hooves or in this case, knock hooves-to-paws?"

Firebrand was burning up in embarrassment from the question his long time friend had just asked him. "Bro what's between me and my girl is personal."

Nova gave him an unamused face. "So?"

Firebrand hung his head down and sighed knowing his friend would never let up. "Yes."

Nova's eyes widened in surprise. "NO WAY! You got to tell me all the details!"

"NO! I'm not telling you anything."

"C'mon it's not like I never told you about all the mares I've slept with."

"True but I never asked you to, in fact I think you traumatized me from all the weird things you've done with them in bed."

"Hey, you're just jealous."

"Yeeeeeaaah jealous, that's it. Oh hey did I ever tell you how we met?"

"Oh this I got to hear!"

"Alright so I was flying a night patrol when-" Firebrand noticed a group of cloaked ponies walking towards them.

"Halt! Who goes there? State your business!"

The group stopped and one of them took a step forward. "Hello, we are just here to restock on supplies and possibly expand our knowledge."

Nova took note when he said knowledge. "Knowledge huh, you lot are scholars or something like that?"

"Yes, I guess you can call us that, now can we go through, we are in quite the hurry."

Firebrand and Nova looked at each other and nodded. "Yeah fine, but I expect you bunch not to get into trouble while you're here even if you aren't the ones to start it. The ponies here are snobbish."

"Thank you, we will be sure to keep to ourselves, now I bid thee ado." The group walked past the two guards in silence.

"Weirdos much. So anyways as I was saying..."

"Dante you stupid animal! No offense Twilight, Stop eating like that!" Lady, Dante, and Twilight were at a local restaurant after leaving Trish to sleep at Twilight's literal treehouse.

"Wait what do you mean 'no offense'?" Twilight surprised by the sudden and out-of-nowhere insult.

Dante started to laugh. Lady gasped, holding a hoof to her mouth. "Oh I'm so, so, so, so sorry Twilight it's just that back in our world ponies are kind of, well...Just regular animals."

Twilight was confused. Lady said they also had ponies in their world so they must be at least be smart enough to talk. "Uh I still don't understand, can you explain to me what you mean by just a regular animal?"

"Oh you see back in our world ponies are just somewhat mindless animals that just eat, sleep, and mate." Lady was starting to get nervous for having to explain how their ponies are pretty much feral beast. Hoping for at least Dante to say something if he'd stopped shoving pizza in his mouth.

Twilight seemed a bit lost trying to grasp the answer that there were ponies in another world that were just beast of burden. "Oh...Ok then, I accept your apology."

"DANTE!!! WHERE ARE YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH?!?!"
The three had their ears perk up from the noise of somepony yelling.

"Who the hell is yellin' my name?"

"If I had to guess its be Trish and she doesn't sound all too happy. Probably found out she turned into a pony." Lady stood her ground knowing the oncoming shitstorm that Dante was about to be hurtled into. Dante on the other hand was panicking and trying to find somewhere to hide.

"DANTE WHERE ARE YOU SO I CAN CURVE STOMP YOUR FACE IN!!!"

"Crap, crap, crap, crap, too tired to run, ate too much. Lady cover for me." Dante crawled under the table just as a ponified Trish ran past the three.

Lady waved at Trish. "HEY TRISH! IT'S ME LADY, DANTES' HIDING UNDER THE TABLE!"

Upon hearing this Dante shot up but hit his head against the table meanwhile Trish crept to the table with a large evil grin on her face, her body cackling with arcs of lighting.

"Twilight I think we should move far away from Dante and now."

"Shouldn't we help him? And why does Trish have electricity arcing around her body?"

"Explain later, we run now!" Lady immediately dashed out of her chair running a fair distance so she can see the fight. Twilight on the other hand decided to try and talk Trish down.

"Um hello Trish my name is Twil-"

"Shut the hell up and move out of my way horse so I can violate that half-demon."

Twilight was not in the least bit amused. "Hey now look here Trish I don't know why you're angry but I'm pretty sure it's not Dante's fault and even if it was I'm sure he'll apologize to you for it."

Trish looked at Twilight then at the moving table then back at Twilight. "Hmmm...I guess it wasn't his fault I was turned into some animal, no offense." Twilight faked a smile at being called an animal again.

"I forgive you Dante."

"Really?" Dante peeked out from the table but as he did Trish raised her hoof and fired a beam of electricity hitting the table Dante was under turning into a large explosion.

"UHG my head, what the hell I thought you said you forgave me?!" Dante stood up from underneath the pile of wood and cloth rubbing his head with his hoof.

"I did but that doesn't mean I can't blast you back to hell."

Then the four noticed that everypony around them was staring at them with mouths agape and in fear.

Twilight blushed. "Hehe nothing to see here folks." Twilight then heard a cough and looked to her left to be net with their waiter, who also happens to be the owner of the once quiet and fine establishment. "Oh I'm terribly sorry, I'll pay for the food and have Princess Celestia pay for the damages, sorry." The waiter/owner raised an eyebrow and gave her the check.

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Well damn I've been busy! Pray for me or wish me luck, whatever floats your boat because in a year or less I'm getting married squee~ DAYUM being me is hardwork. Why am I getting married so young you ask? Well because that's how we gypsies do things, we get married from 16-19 (rare when 20+ get married) and well it turned out to be my time :3 now all I need is about $50,000 lulz and I'm set.

Anyways it feels good to be writing again, very good, I have so many ideas for stories I want to start on but if I do I'd never finish any of my fics! Hell I started an Infinity Blade crossover and I can't write a second chapter because I have to finish this story first and then my other fic and it just gets hectic.

Act VI

"And this is where I live." Twilight gave the three a polite stare and awaited their response to her literal treehouse.

"You live in a tree?" Dante asked unsure what to make of it.

"Technically a treehouse, but yes, it also doubles as a library." Twilight saw Lady and Dante's faces a bit scrunch as if wondering. "What's the problem?"

"It's a tree." Dante plainly said. Dante didn't take her for the hippy type.

"What if there's a fire? Biggest fire hazard I've ever seen." Lady asked

"Yeah, fire..." Trish whispered to herself.

Twilight was not expecting to have her treehouse ridiculed. "Um well I coated the entire building with a coat of anti-fire protection spell."

Dante seemed somewhat intrigued by her simplistic use of magic . Anti-fire coating would work wonders in fights"Pretty useful spell there Sparks."

Twilight lightly blushed at the compliment. "Thank you Dante, and my last name is Sparkle, not Sparks."

"Good to know Sparks, now if you don't mind I'd really like to sit down. I'm beat." Dante walked up to the door and casually stood beside it prompting Twilight to come and open it.

"And does it protect against lightning?" Trish somewhat nervously asked.

"I don't think so, that's another spell. Why ask?" Twilight looked at Trish oddly.

"No...reason." Trish muttered.

Lady upon realizing why she asked that glared at her as if saying "You didnt?!" and Trish gave off a weak smile.

"AHEM. Door. Sparks."

Twilight looked at Lady and Trish. "Is he always this rude?"

"Honey, he's always is." Trish told her

Twilight looked towards Lady hoping Trish would be wrong. "It's true." Twilight finding no confidence in Dante, she simply went over to the door.

Just as Twilight put her hoof on the handle had the door collapsed backwards revealing books thrown about, burnt pages, scorched furniture, and an unconscious baby dragon.

"OH NO SPIKE!" Twilight rushed over to her number one assistant. "Spike! Are you alright?!"

Spike slightly opened his eyes. "The..The mare...She's crazy." And with that he closed his eyes and began snoring.

All eyes were on Trish. "Hey, I woke up somewhere I wasn't when I knocked out and saw a little lizard demon thing and then noticed my beautiful body along with my very expensive clothes had disappeared, how can I have not done this."

Dante and Lady placed their hands firmly on their faces.

After everything was cleaned and reorganized; Spike put to sleep comfortably in his basket upstairs in Twilights room, the four ponies sat down.

"So let me get this straight, this place, Equestria, is run by two princesses who control the sun and moon? How does that even work? I've never heard of magic so powerful! " Lady was dumbfounded on the idea of someone able to control the the incredibly large astral bodies. "And not only that but one of them is your mentor?"

"Princess Celestia, yes." Twilight stated proudly. Few years of service under one of the princesses do give you some sort of achievement.

"Pretty interesting pony you are Sparks. How powerful would you say you are?" Dante had asked out of curiosity and the fact that hearing she was being taught by a seemingly god-like entity that rules the lands. Surely she can give Dante a run for his money right?

"I'm not one for bragging but I'd consider myself fourth in terms of magic prowess, as they say, knowledge is power." Talking about this was really boosting her already above normal confidence.

"Really now? How bout we go for a spar? Just me and you." Dante was itching for a hard fight. None ever compared to his brother, no one, not even Mundus. If only he shared Dante's ideals the two would have been an absolute unstoppable duo and including Trish and Lady, the four would have been neigh impossible to beat, a force to be reckoned with. Alas, that is something only appearing to Dante in his dreams.

Twilight went wide-eyed upon hearing Dante wanting to fight her. Fight her! What kind of pony would want to fight their friends?! "Spar? As in Fight?! Oh no, no, no, no! My magic isn't for fighting, only helping others! How can you suggest such a thing?"

"Whoa, calm down there Sparks, I didn't say to beat each other senselessly. I only asked to show me what you got. But if you don't want to, I won't force ya girl."

"Now look at what you did you got the pony mad, Dante surely you have no soul." Trish quipped

He smirked. "Whatever Trish."

"Enough you two I'm trying to freaking study these stupid books!" Lady said from the far side of the room.

Twilight heard her and eagerly dashed to her side in hopes of having an intellectual conversation she desperately wanted right now. "What are you studying if you don't mind me asking?"

"Uh...." Lady closed shut the book and looked at Twilight. "I can't understand anything in all the books."

"How is that? I mean we speak the same language, shouldn't you also know how to read it?" Twilight was thoroughly confused.

"Hm must be the race differences. That's all I can come up with." Lady said.

"Oh we'll how about I give you three a history lesson?"

Lady and Trish had agreed but Dante being Dante doesn't really care. The past is the past after all and he's more of a here and now type of guy.

"I can't read any of these."

"Neither can I."

"What is this shit?!"

"What in hell are we going to do now if we can't read a single book?!"

"Anyone up for a possession?"

"Hm that might work, but then again where are we going to find a pony suitible for us to use?"

"The librarian here would do the trick, surely he must hold more knowledge than a common."

"Yes...Yes that will do the trick."

"The real trick is getting him alone."

"Leave that to me. Every race, no matter what, is always attracted to the opposite sex."

"Look at us now...We're going to seduce a pony. What have I been doing with my damned life."

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Sorry for the really long wait guys but damn life's doesn't give a single fuck who you are. Atleast one thing that I don't regret taking up my time is my wife. Wedding is this month over in the less than wondrous Tiajuana, Mexico. Also I can't invite any you guys sorry, it'd fucking bomb if I could, much love guys.

Also I'm definitely starting a new story involving the main characters of Skyrim, Dragon Age: Origins, Kingdoms of Amular: Reckoning, and probably the best game I've played this year, Dragons Dogma. (these games all have something in common plot wise) ending up in Equestria to fight what is literally THE MOST HARDCORE OVER-THE-TOP-NO-HOLDS-BAR-THROUGH-THE-ROOF *censor* of all time. I will assure you, it will be somewhat good!

Anyways Comment & Rate

Act VII

"What does the horse know?"

"Pony."

"Exscuse me?"

"They're actually ponies, not horses. Given their stature I feel stupid I didn't realize that. Three feet tall is hardly considered a horse."

"Are you done? Can you just tell us what he knows so we can get this shit out of the way."

"Yeah, yeah. Well it seems there's a certain book the pony has heard about. This book contains spells and rituals very taboo in society and most importantly does contain summonings, though what it summons is unknown to the pony."

"Does the pony know a location to this book? Let alone a name?"

"Presumably it's contained in a secure tower library in the castle of the princesses and no, the book doesn't have an actual name but for some reason a picture of the book showed up in his memories without reason."

"No reason? What do you mean?"

"It just showed up. As I was digging through a conversation the pony had with a colleague , after they changed subjects the image appeared but only for a few seconds. It was weird, they weren't even in a library and it was the first time the pony had heard about it."

"Wait...Did you say princesses?"

"Yeah get this, this land is ruled by two Alicorns, Alicorn meaning they have both a horn and wings, and not only that, they're immortal and control the sun and the moon."

"The hell?! Well that sure does seem like rather huge freaking road block in our plans!"

"Well if what the pony has heard about the book, these princesses don't pose that much of a problem, surely the book would have something useful."

"This book sounds very interesting indeed. Oh kay then, dispose of the body and let's pay a visit to this library."

The ten cultist suddenly stood frozen in place; their eyes wide open.

"Did...Did I just see the book?"

"What the hell?"

" My mind didn't even feel as of it's defenses were broken."

"It's as if it slipped past the mental barrier and implanted itself to me."

"This book. Is very interesting."

Dante, Trish, and Lady were left in the treehouse by Twilight who had to go get scrolls and quills with Spike.

"So how do we know those cultist didn't come here with us? For all we know they're here in this world killing innocent ponies for the sake of summoning some half-ass god. How do we go about this?" Trish really didn't want to see blood be spilled in such a peaceful and beautiful land moreso the blood coming from adorable ponies.

"Maybe they aren't, if they were we would have been hearing about brutal murders or missing ponies." Lady suggested.

"Or they could be hiding in plain sight, how do we know if they were also turned into ponies?" Trish wasn't really happy about the situation.

"This is just makin' my head hurt, when the time comes we'll deal with it, for right now let's just find out how to get home. Being a pony sucks. Can't even handle my babies." Dante began nuzzling Ebony & Ivory.

"Hey this is a serious problem we got here. If you bothered to give a shit on what Twilight said you would've learned that this place is ruled under two immortal princesses that control the sun and the moon. We absolutely don't need to make an enemy out of them."

"Uhg whatever."

"I'm back everypony!" Twilight and Spike strolled through the door. Spike carrying a large bag of quills and scrolls.

"I'll go fix us some dinner Twilight, I'll just leave these right here." Spike left the four to themselves as he disappeared into the kitchen.

"Sup Sparks."

"Dante for hundredth time, it's Sparkle, Twilight Sparkle."

"Again, good to know Sparks." Suddenly the large bag of quills and scrolls were poured onto Dante while he lied on the couch.

"Ha-Ha, very funny."

"Like calling me Sparks funny ya know since you feel so adamant on shortening my name I might as well do the same, seems
fair right Date?" Twilight smirked gesturing towards Dante.

"Woah, woah, woah! Date? You just took out the N in my name!"

"Thus shortening it Date." Twilight was suppressing a grin knowing this could very make Dante call her by her proper name.

"Date is too girly for a macho guy like me, I won't have it. Calling me 'D.' on the other hand, hoof sounds much better and definitely shorter than Date." Dante was on the verge of sweating, his masculinity cannot withstand every single pony he will be introduced to as Date.

"Nah, Date sounds much prettier and it kinda makes you sound sensitive, and with that white hair and peach coat it almost seems that you were destined to be feminine in nature." Twilight was laying it down hard on Dante, attacking his looks and his name hoping he'll learn.

Lady and Trish couldn't hold it any longer they busted into laughter.

"Oh Dante, OOPS! I mean Date!"

"AWWW! How cute, wittle Date is so sensitive."

"So are you going to call me, maybe, by my actual name or are you going to continue so I can call you Date?"

"Fine...Twilight." Dante stood there with one eye twitching.

"Thank you, hopefully this serves as an important lesson in respecting others." Twilight one, Dante zero.

"Don't worry bout it Dante these girls don't know what we stallions are made of." Dante took a glance Spike and saw he was wearing an apron with hearts printed all over. Dante went further into depression.

"I need to get out of this world." Dante muttered.

"Is dinner ready Spike?"

"Yup! Everypony c'mon."

The two royal sisters had flown through an open window in their throne room and were greeted by a slew of pony, most which were advisors.

"Princesses, we have urgent news." One them said.

"Uhg do we always have urgent news? We just came back from Zebrica. What is so urgent?" Celestia, if one thing she hated in her life it would be politics.

"Hundreds of ponies from Canterlot report seeing a massive rune over to the west. This rune shot out, as eyewitnesses report, about what looked like from afar as fourteen large bolts of lightning and once the twelve bolts shot out the tune disappeared."

"Any casualties?"

"None princess."

"To the west you say, do we have an exact location as to where exactly it appeared?"

"Analysis seem to indicate right above the Everfree Forest near the town of Ponyville. Here's one of many photos taken by one resident of Ponyville."

Celestia stared at the picture in shock causing Celestia to teleport to her room. Once there she levitated a quill and scroll and began to write.

"And she said oatmeal?! Are you crazy!" Spike recalled a joke Pinkie Pie had told from a whiles back.

"I don't get it?" Dante said.

"Don't ponies eat oatmeal?" Trish asked, also not getting the joke.

"It's a pony thing." Spike answered

The three all let out an "Oh."

"Can you tell us the joke one more time?"

"Yeah sure. So-" Spike suddenly let loose a small torrent of green flame that contained a scroll.

"THE PRINCESSES ARE BACK!" Twilight rushed over to the scroll and opened it.

Dear My Most Faithful Student,

It has come to my attention that a certain large rune appeared in the Everfree Forest. I would like you to come over here to tell me what has happened personally, I've sent a carriage to pick you up and with the rest of the elements of harmony.

~Princess Celestia

"There, hopefully this gets to her. What could have caused this and more importantly what came out of it."

"Sister what is it?" Luna emerged from the shadows.

"Luna...We may have a problem on our hooves. No doubt you've heard of this mysterious rune above Everfree?"

"Yes, it's odd to say the least but why would that bother you so much?"

"Did you forget your studies sister? A rune, not some small rune of simple design, it was abnormally big and overly complicated, take a look." Celestia handed her a picture given to her by her advisor.

Luna didn't like this one bit. "The amount of power needed! THAT?! That was there for over thirty seconds, do you realized what could have possibly kept such a spell open for that long?! Massive amounts of magic must been literally poured into it! By looks of it it must've been casted by over fifty unicorns, no, no this isn't right at all! What else did you hear?"

"That it shot out fourteen lightning bolts before disappearing. But the biggest problem with all this is something I wish never existed. This was a summoning rune by looks of it, though it looks unfamiliar I can read small amounts, and not only that but casted by ritualistic means. This rune was a caused by the death or multiple deaths of ponies."

"So what does it say?" Lady asked.

"How would you three like to meet the princesses?"

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So here's this chapter.

Been real busy, busy is good, busy isn't fun though.

Anyways Comment & Rate

Next update will be... Infinity Pony